What happens when you say NO....who you do not realize you are affecting...... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-12-2002, 01:42 AM - Thread Starter
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OK...long story short....my dh is a music minister. We were at a church, we will call it church 1. While at ch1 we were approached by church2. Ch2 offered us a position. We looked at where we were and said...NO we like ch1 and we want to serve here. There is a great ministry that we feel we can be a part of. Time goes and things at ch1 start to go south. We examine what we want and decide that we are not following God's leading and have been acting on our own selfish desire. While we are re-evaluation dh is approached by church3. We also tell ch3 NO because we do not want to move to Northern OH. We wanted to stay in the area we were in. Dh call ch2 and asks about the position. It is still open. We interview and he has the job but salary must be approved. Dh is called, bad news. The day that we had our salary approved one of the members of this church is laid off. The leadership decides they must take care of their own first...we do not get the job. Things go horrific at ch1, dh resigns. We are unemployed. Dh calls ch3. The position there is open. We interview, we are about to be voted on. Dh and I take a step back and decide that this is not where we are to be. The church has some things it needs to clean inhouse first. We are searching for a job. While we are searching we are earnestly praying that God will show us His will. Dh and I come together one evening and bare all and tell each other the way we believe that God is leading us. We both, amazingly enough have the same feeling. We are told about an oppurtunity to begin a prep-school (which was our dream when we were first married) we were approached by church 4. Ch4 aligns perfectly with the prep-school. YAY we are finally on our way after many detours!!!

Now this is where we are today. Ch4 loves dh...BUT the minister wants this other guy who isn't even interested....long story in itself. So, it appears that ch4 is a bust and our dream will not happen BUT God is providing us with a wonderful oppurtunity with a church in VA

The point. My dh and I have told God NO a lot this year. Yes it affected us but it affected others too. Ch2 is not liking the man they hired (which wouldnn't have been there if we had opened our eyes to begin with) Ch3 is still struggling with their problems. Ch1 is about dead (nothing to do with us)

The kicker is...we are finally listening to what God is telling us. We are no longer in limbo. Everything seems so clear. BUT someone else is telling God NO and we are the ones paying for it.

I always knew growing up that when I told GOd NO that His plan for my life would have to be adjusted and that I may not experience all of the wonderful things he had instore...I will have different experiences. However, I never realized that may decisions affected the lives of others.

Soory this was so long!!! I needed to share what I have been learning (the hard way )

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#2 of 5 Old 11-13-2002, 06:18 AM
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good for you!!!

Sometimes it is hard for us not to put our feelings first! We so desperatly want God to DO what we want! And when it doesn't happen that way we feel let down. Since we don't know the whole picture it is easy to get discouraged.

When we got married we wanted to try to have a baby right away. It took us 3 1/2 long years before we had that baby! It was hard to go through that month after month! But looking back on it I am glad it didn't happen until we were ready...looking back at all those things we had to do to condition our marriage, we wouldn't have been good parents at all.

But like they say: Hindsight is always 20/20....when you are in the thick of it you can't see clearly, sometimes you even think that you know better than God does, and you want to fix things. All the while our Father watches us, catches us when we fall, but won't step in to help until we are ready for Him to do that. Some of us are more stubborn and take longer to learn that than others.

I am glad that you have learned it in a year! It could have taken you much longer. I hope that everything goes well, and who knows maybe church 4 will ask you to serve anyway, or church 2...don't write them off just yet....b/c Y0U neve know what God has in store for you
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#3 of 5 Old 11-13-2002, 10:37 PM
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Wow, I needed to hear that. I've been putting off the call to be a midwife for about 3 yrs now. Another contact has recently emerged and I guess that's God's way of telling me to get the lead out. Who knows what was supposed to be.
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#4 of 5 Old 11-14-2002, 11:53 AM
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It's so interesting how we can say no to God - and that changes the entire dynamics of the situation... and when we finally come around and say "YES... I'll do it"...

We usually find that man has tried his own method to fix the situation - and it usually makes things worse! (How much longer do we have to wander around this wilderness?)

Remember when Saul offered the sacrifice just before Samuel showed up? This is a perfect example of a man trying to get the job done - and ignoring God's timing and process.

I'm glad to hear that y'all are at peace and letting God lead the way ... and we'll certainly pray that God's plan will play out.
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#5 of 5 Old 11-14-2002, 12:54 PM
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A quick relevant Torah from the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Khasidus:

It says in Psalm 23, "surely goodness and kindness will pursue me all the days of my life."

To which the Baal Shem Tov replies, if we'd stop running away from all that goodness and kindness, it wouldn't have to keep pursuing us.

(I love that Torah.)

- Amy
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