Can I Contact My Dead Grandmother? - Mothering Forums

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Can I contact my dead grandmother?



This topic was originally posted in this forum: Spirituality
Author Topic: Can I contact my dead grandmother?
2boysmom
Member posted 07-08-2001 04:46 PM
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The discussion on weird experiences and spirits has got me thinking, so I thought I'd pose this to some of you who are more in tune with the...I don't know...spirit world, than myslef.
My grandmother died a year ago after living with my father for the past 15 years. They were both alcoholics at the time and I have some suspicion that he may not have treated her right- even beyond supplying her addiction. I have a nagging fear that he even more directly contributed to her death--although I have never known him to be violent in any way. He's never even raised his voice to me- ever. But with alchol involved, who knows?

Additionally, for the last year of her life, I really withdrew from visiting her. I had had one two many episodes of her passing out or talking crazy and scaring the babe. She never even met ds #2.

Anyway, for several reasons as briefly explained above I would like to try to contact her and make ammends...or I don't know, just make sure she is ok.

Do you think this is possible and if so how would I go about doing it?



mamamoon2001
Member posted 07-08-2001 05:52 PM
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I think it is very possible for you to make amends even if she isn't present. Something you might want to try is to light a candle in a scent that makes you think of her or just a candle you like and say out loud what ever it is that you feel like you need to say to her to make amends. Leave the candle burning for awhie. You can do this more then once or do it when ever you feel you want to or need to.


Sofiamomma
Member posted 07-08-2001 07:45 PM
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I like mamamoon's idea and wanted to add that you could also request she come to you in a dream. As you lay falling asleep, think that you'd like to speak to her, to make amends, and ask her to come into your dreams. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.


suseyblue
Member posted 07-08-2001 09:23 PM
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I guess it would be proselytizing to mention what the Bible says about necromancy... so let me only humbly add my opinion: that I don't think it's the best idea, & that whatever answers to 'Grandma' is not necessarily her.
The spirit world is not always benign.

Suse





Becca
Moderator posted 07-09-2001 06:30 AM
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I have to agree with Suse on this one, there are many entities who would willingly call themselves your Grandma just to talk to you. Some are just lonely, others have more malicious intentions.
What I have found is that if a spirit of a dead relative has anything to say to you, they are quite capable of letting you know.
The ideas of lighting a candle or requesting her presence in a dream are good ones, they open you to the possiblity of contact, but you are not actively seeking it.
You could combine the two by stating your concerns as the candle burns and asking for an answer in your dreams.
If you do decide to do the Ouija thing, make sure you have someone with you - it's much less freaky with two people, and take anything that's said with a large pinch of salt - just like in this world there are some really sick individuals out there.
Blessings, Becca


k'smami
Member posted 07-09-2001 06:57 AM
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I've done Ouija. Bad experience. I would rather go to a psychic if I needed to hear words.


Michele_Karen
Member posted 07-09-2001 09:30 AM
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As an agnostic I can only say I have no idea if you can contact the dead or not. I have never felt, heard or seen any evidence that we can. As a living human being I can completely relate to you when you say you would like to feel a sense of closure with someone who has passed away. For me this really seems to be forgiving oneself.
I can honestly say I understand why you would separate yourself from the situation you described. It sounds as if you were protecting yourself and children from a very unhealthy environment.

Now, if you feel you should have said something, helped or confronted their choices... I know from experience that confronting someone's unhealthy choices when they have been an authority figure in your life is much much easier said than done. If not altogther impossible in some cases.

You are *so* forgiven for not saying anything. You are completely innocent! But, you only have to believe that. Your grandmother made some choices and you made some choices. If she has been enlightened by death - I'm sure she is very proud of you, your choices and your sensitivity. She also would understand your reasons for staying away and perhaps acknowledge she did not make the best choices in life - but we all do the best we can.

However, one real life question you still need to answer is- does this affect how you want to deal with your father? Is there something you can say to him thay could give him the courage to change? Is there something you can do to help him? Perhaps asking him these two questions could help you know. If his response is one of anger...you will know you left a little door open for him. Just tell him 'o.k., if you change your mind and want to talk just tell me'. Or if you honestly decide there is no way you can even go to that point with him, meditate on it from time to time, if you come to the same decision, accept it... Know that you made a choice that was right for you. You will know when the choice is right - it will fit perfectly. And no matter what happens you will have the peace of mind that you need, because you dealt with your options and chose your path with out fear.

You are completely innocent in the choices you made! And you are a very caring person to forgive your grandmother's choices. Some people are so harsh that they would rather run around saying - she was a worthless drunk - just to justify their actions. You are not doing that, you are searching for honest closure and that is a very respectable way of seeing life.

So- I guess I'm saying that you are in the realm of the living and that is where you need to come to terms with the past.

Thank you for helping me at the same time I gave an offer of help to you. Take care.

Michele-Karen



madison
Member posted 07-09-2001 09:41 AM
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While I do think it's possible to be in contact with deceased spirits - since I do believe in reincarnation - I also agree with Suse that you want to be excedingly careful, because not everything and everyone out there in the spiritual reamls are benevolent. Read some books and find out how to protect yourself spiritually.


Ginger in the woods
Member posted 07-09-2001 09:15 PM
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Sofiamamma, you did it again. Are you my soul sister or something? I was going to suggest asking her to appear in a dream. May I tell you what I did? True Story. My sister died. She was beautiful. 1 year older than me. She died in a car accident, drunk walking, on Christmas eve. God, I regret so much. I often find myself idly talking to her, telling her she would have been a great Mom, telling her I wish I could see the children she would've had, all that sister stuff. You know. Anyway, one day, I was mowing the fairgrounds lawn, this was a few weeks ago. I asked God, The Universe, whatever, if I could talk to my sister. I said her whole name, the day she was born, the day she died. Very official. Then, as if I knew I was granted the opportunity, I asked Christine if she could give me some advice. In a dream. I even went so far as to ask her if she could help me remember the dream, as I figured her advice would be to no avail if I failed to remember the dream. that was a Saturday. That night, I was plagued with one awful nightmare! I Woke up fully realizing Christine had orchestrated the dream. I asked my dh and son if I could have a few moments to analyze my dream. I went downstairs into my studio, and remembered. Why a nightmare? What was she saying? Then, I went over the dream. At first, it was a nightmare. So realistic, so scary. But then, I fully understood the content of the dream, and to this day, I feel that she gave me the best advice ever, through vivid depictions of what would come if I was selfish in my life, and not looking for the best interest of my child. She was telling me that I was fine, but if I chose to stray off the path I was on, certain destrucions would take place. I asked for her advice, and I sure got it! I never got any instructions on how to ask a spirit to enter dreamstates, but I guess I did it right! No one on this Earth can tell me that that dream didnt come from her. Go for it! ~Ginger


Sofiamomma
Member posted 07-10-2001 10:58 AM
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wow! I have goosebumps! Sort of like "A Christmas Carol", huh? So glad to hear you got some great advice and listened to it. You're awsome mommy!


megerina
Member posted 07-10-2001 04:17 PM
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I know for a fact the dead can contact one, but I don't know how much involvement you want to have. My mother picked on me for the better part of a year after her death, to the point of showing up to friends in their dreams and telling them things like "I don't think Meg has paid the utility bill, doesn't she realize the pipes will freeze?" (honest I got that phone call from a friend, picking on me personally about everything, (And I had wondered where I got my control-freak behaviors) hating the carpet UI had picked out to replace the old carpet in her house, (I had to get the place saleable, and the old stuff was a hazard, held together with duct tape in places. she had fallen when she tripped over a hole more than once) It was not the greatest year, although we did get some stuff processed.
I did have a wonderful experience, though, when a friend who died suddenly showed up one night to talk and get some closure. he has done this to other friends as well. He is the happiest spirit on the other side.

I don't know what to tell you. My spiritual beliefs are quite comfy on both sides of the veil, but I would say follow your belief structure, and do what is right for you.

meg



2boysmom
Member posted 07-10-2001 04:18 PM
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Regarding the idea that if a spirit has something to say to you, they will find a way to say it, what do those of you who believe this think of this:
After she died, I went over to the house as my dad was not answering the phone for 2 days after we heard about her death third hand from my cousin. Once I had talked to him and found out what happened, I started looking around for a doll that I had given her as a gift that I wanted to keep. She was not in her usual spot. After I searched for probably half an hour I found her in the china cabinet sitting on top of a kind of "once I am gone" note she had written thanking my dad for taking care of her and saying to give the grandchildren her love and that she had loved us above everything. It was like she had left the doll with the note cause she knew I would come looking for it. My only problem is, she may have written it long before the last bad year as she did have cancer 3 years before she died. But it was weird that she left the doll with it...

Also, she was from the south and loved Patsy Cline. Her favorite movie was Sweet Dreams. We watched it together probably 20 times when I was little. Well, the night after I found out she died, Sweet Dreams was on TV. I have hardly seen it on TV before or since. I thought she may have been coming through with that.

Maybe she was okay with our relationship after all...I don't know. Thanks to all of you for your input and support. It is a rough deal all the way around.

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