My In-Laws Are Going to Flip [I'm a closet wiccan] - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 1 Old 01-02-2002, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
cynthia mosher's Avatar
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my in-laws are going to flip

This topic was originally posted in this forum: Spirituality
Author Topic: my in-laws are going to flip
Member posted 07-19-2001 08:54 AM
For the last five years I've been kinda doing the christian thing mainy because all of my dh's family are devoutly christian. It has never made sense to me, to be honest I don't believe a lot of it and in fact some of the social beliefs that seem to go with christianity offends me. Last year I went to MOPS because I was told it was more a social thing not christian thing,. I think me going to MOPS really cemented in my MIL's head that I finally became a christian. But really the more I heard and the more meetings I went to the further I ran from christianity.
So I'm finally comfortable in my own skin...I know for sure that I don't want to follow the christian path or raise my kids in a christian church. I'm finding my beliefs alighn a lot more in the pagan/wiccan area.
In the past few months I have repeated refused offers for vacation bible schools, bible studies, womens retreats ect ect. I've been using the excuse that we are just to busy in which I get the response "to busy to sit with god for awhile". Sooner or later I'm just going to have to tell my MIL and all of her friends that I'm just not a christian. I know this is going to break her heart and that she is going to live in fear for my soul and the souls of my children as she truely belives we are going to see the second coming soon and if we don't hurry up and come to christ we will be left behind. What am supposed to do be a closet wiccan, don't I have the freedom of relegion too?
My dh has rejected his relegious upbringing which I'm sure my MIL blames on me too.
So how should I have this conversation? Anyone else ever been in my shoes? I feel like I'm coming out of the closet or something
[This message has been edited by mamamoon2001 (edited 07-19-2001).]

Member posted 07-19-2001 09:50 AM
Well, I've done both, lol, and coming out of the closet might be the easier.
A good many of my spiritual beliefs are at the very edge of Christianity right now, some are still in the Biblical context and others are way out of it. Before you make a break, I'd suggest thinking about exactly what you are looking for in your spiritual life and your spiritual community. Then go find that support in your new community. Then when you make the break you will have built in support.

Good luck! You have to do what you think is right. Follow your bliss.

Moderator posted 07-19-2001 10:22 AM
Hi there, welcome out of the broom closet
My dh and I found ourselves in a similar situation when dh told his parents that we were getting married. He also chose that time to tell them that he was wiccan and no we would not be having a church ceremony. They are not paticularly religious, but they flipped. (MIL reads Stephen King so knows ALL about witches They were convinced that I had somehow lured their son into this. In reality we met at a wiccan temple with which dh had been involved for a couple of years; but no amount of pointing this out has convinced them otherwise.
They flipped a second time when they realised that we would be raising our children pagan. It was mostly a case of them thinking the kids would have a deprived childhood if Santa and the Easter Bunny didn't appear every year.
I think also that they felt that in rejecting their religion, we were rejecting them. It has taken a lot of soothing of ruffled feathers to help them get over that.
What has helped for us is to supply lots of information for them (most of which they don't read - but some of it gets through I guess), being very open about our beliefs and practices and letting them know in no uncertain terms that we will not be changing our religion in this lifetime.
We respect their beliefs and expect them to respect ours, which doesn't often happen, but they do realise the expectation is there and know that we won't take any crap from them.
I don't know that this will help you at all, but you're not alone in this kind of situation.
Good luck,
Blessings, Becca

[This message has been edited by Becca (edited 07-19-2001).]

Moderator posted 07-19-2001 11:11 AM
How about this: first you advise them that you have renounced the Christian God to embrace Satan and all His minions. After a few weeks of fervently saying "Hail the Dark UnderLord!" to them, wearing black robes (with nothing underneath, or perhaps a strap on dildo for "Sunday services"), baking pentagram-shaped cakes, tell them that you have given that up and have decided not to have any religion at all. They will find that to be a wonderful relief!

Member posted 07-19-2001 05:49 PM
Holy s**t, Yammer
Don't you ever stop?!

Member posted 07-19-2001 06:39 PM
Oh, I've been away for a few weeks, and Yammer, what a joy to come back to! You crack me up!!!! mammamoon, you've got a tough one in front of you, but, you'll feel better afterwards (i hope!). I have a cousin who is convinced i'm going to hell, since I'm not "saved", and a MIL who's conviced that the only reason we're going to heaven is because she prays for us so much. So, I can understand your dilema. What you might want to consider is simply say that there are many aspects of Christianity that you don't feel comfortable with and that you feel spirituallity is a personal matter and that you're at peace with your current beliefs. You don't have to use the "W" word or "pagan" or any of those scarry sounding things. Just keep it light, simple and don't feel obligated to defend your belief system. Hopefully, actions will speak louder than words and they'll see that you're not a "bad" person and drop it. Or you could do what Yammer suggests. It could be good for a laugh if nothing eles! Best wishes...

Member posted 07-20-2001 03:28 PM
Oh, Yammer!
Mamamoon, you have to be true to yourself. Something you will mant to consider is how much influence you want MIL to have. Example, if she wants to take them to church what will you say? It's good to be clear on those things. But I don't think you'll be happy pretending to be something you're not.

BTW Becca, I'm Christian and Santa and the Easter Bunny don't visit our house either! Maybe the inlaws will settle for the tooth fairy?

Moderator posted 07-21-2001 09:36 AM
So Yammer, you have a problem with black robes and pentagram cookies?

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