Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: brett favre's house
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I like you had trouble with grudges & holding on to hard feelings. I always felt that if I "forgave" someone, that that meant it was "ok"..it being whatever that person did or said. So for many years i was angry or sad at a person. Eventually I figured out that forgiving someone, in no way makes what the person did ok. what it does do, for me, is releive ME of the burden of anger. And, no, i cant forget what was said or done, but i feel a world of relief. And like you, sometimes things are great but a certain word spoken or tone will "trigger" those feelings, somethimes as strong as the day it really happened. so not only do i forgive, but sometimes i have to forgive again....and again, and again. know what i mean? sometimes several times a day.
it also depends on the actions involved. meaning, i would have a rough time forgiving infidelity. it would take alot of effort on my part, no matter how apologetic and humble my husband was. time does help i think to heal as well as the forgiveness on my part.
It seemed to me, it was easier for me to be pissed than it was to forgive. My mother in law gave me a hell of a time, and i finally forgave her, i didnt tell her i forgave her, i just did, and i am sure she doesnt even know it, but i do. and i feel so much better!!!