The pagan misfit (yes I am refering to myself :-) ) - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-10-2002, 05:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, your officially warned this is gonna be a ramble, lol.

Maybe it's just because I grew up in liberal CA?? Maybe it's because I'm facinated by history?? Maybe it's because I have too much info in my pea brain?? Maybe it's a product of the growing pains paganism is going through??

Anyway, I'm just feeling like such a spiritual misfit lately. I just can't seem to find my place. I am very liberal politically (surprise) and have heavy pacifist leanings. But I find the prayers and methods of worship in the past really important (ok I'm just following direction). But I can't deal with the new conservatives that dominate the traditionalist pagan groups. I love the wheel of the year. My Goddess doesn't have any festival days in the herotai. I've pretty much stopped posting at my favorite pagan place, because I'm not eclectic enough or conservative enough to really fit in.

anyway, not sure of this is just a vent. I'm not mad or anything. Just feeling a bit lonely I guess.
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Old 12-10-2002, 06:48 PM
 
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Sorry, just had to respond to the Beavis and Butthead DDDDC line! :LOL

I know how ya feel chickie! Though I've always felt this way (spiritual explorer), this is my first Holiday Season out of the broom closet. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I know what I need will come to me. It may not look like or feel like what I'm asking for, but what I truly *need* spiritually will come my way and I'm sure it's true for you.

~diana

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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Old 12-10-2002, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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O/T Who's cornholio????? I've never watched Beevis and Butthead......DDDDC got me anyway, lol
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Old 12-10-2002, 06:59 PM
 
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T My favorite episode: B&B go to pick up a buddy before school, the mom leaves the room; Beavis goes thru the cupboards and ODs on sugar. The rest of the show he has his T-shirt pulled up so his face only is out the headhole and he talks in this freaky mexican voice screetching *I am Cornholio, I need olio for my bungholio* and other assorted funnies. This was the first cartoon I ever saw that dealt with Sugar as a drug :LOL

~diana ild

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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Old 12-10-2002, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL
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Old 12-10-2002, 07:44 PM
 
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Arduinna,

I usually feel out of place in most pagan groups- I'm not Wiccan, not even sure what path, if any specific one I will eventually follow. My beliefs actually lean a lot towards Eastern philosophies like Taoism, so I guess I am a spiritual conglomoration of many things.

You're not alone in your lonelyness!
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Old 12-10-2002, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Khris :-)
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Old 12-11-2002, 11:37 AM
 
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Arduinna--

You seem like less of a misfit than me. You seem to have proper things you do, rituals, offerings etc.
Whereas I find the world of spirituality to be so broad and fascinating, how can I decide on one way to practice?
I feel I would be now just as comfortable and interested receiving communion in a catholic church right now ( now knowing that the Mithraites had the same sacrament), as I would be chanting and drumming in a Krishna Consciousness temple. And then, I get the same groovy feeling at an Other Ones concert (former members of the Dead), with a different kind of eucharist!

It's like when I was a kid, someone would ask me, what is your favorite color/movie, and I would know what to answer. Now I have lists, it depends on my mood which one stands out.

So I have started going to a UU church. well, it was dh and dd's idea, and I don't go every week. And it does seem almost too bland and non-denominational to me. But the people are very nice.
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Old 12-11-2002, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How are you liking UU?? I wish our local UU had a CUPPS chapter, but it doesn't.
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Old 12-11-2002, 12:04 PM
 
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I hear you. Do you think the whole point is to go it alone? I often think that.
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Old 12-11-2002, 02:17 PM
 
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alone in your loneliness!
I am so eclectic I don't even register! Dh is comfortable with the CUUPS group and I more comfortable with another group ( not cuups) but they are almost an hour away and they have something every fri night
However being down to one car by fri I am tired of going ( driving him to work and home because I need the car for whatever) and don't want to go out at night in the cold ...
sorry for the tangent LOL
but you are not alone in your loneliness too bad you are not closer by !
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Old 12-11-2002, 02:25 PM
 
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ooh ooh ooh, me too.

I am just beginning to wander down the pagan path. I agree that it is difficult to find a place to fit in.

Ladylee, I agree to a certain extent that going it alone is part of the journey and I find a lot of peace in that. However, it would be nice to have a little company once in a while. Then again I am just trying to work things out for myself so being alone is great. Ok I feel dizzy.

Adriunna, what exactly do you mean by conservative. My cousin is pagan of which path I have no idea. He is pretty conservative economically, but very liberal socially. Do you mean conservative poltically or conservative in spirtual practice.
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Old 12-11-2002, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lee: Shoot I've always been going it alone. And I don't really mind going it alone, but it would be nice to talk to people who practice as I do sometimes.

CL thanks :-)

Greenfrogs I'm glad you asked. Because it is a bit confusing. I don't fit in with the political pagan conservatives at all. God and Country and all that. I just don't get the "warrior" mentality.

I also don't fit with the spiritual conservatives. Not completely anyway. They remind me of conservative christianity. I have the one true way and I own my pantheon.

if I say anthing more it would be offensive, so I will stop here.
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Old 12-11-2002, 03:59 PM
 
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Hopefully I will not offend.

I to have seen a "fundamentalist" movement within pagan movements. I believe to some extent it is means to become more accepted by the wider population. I understand the intent, but I think (based on my reading) that even historically paganism by difintion if free formed. At least one book I read discussed the openness of the greek and roman religion to various gods and religious practice. The only rule was that you had to pay some homage to the emperor's god.
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Old 12-11-2002, 04:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, good points.

Part of the problem with the "fundementalist pagans" is that paganism does and did not exist in a vaccuum. And it spanned wide ranges of time and place. And even if you limit to one community there is still the issue of time. Let alone the issue of not actually living there, having different knoweldge of the world ect.
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Old 12-11-2002, 05:23 PM
 
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Hmmmm interesting about the conservatism.
I certainly wouldn't fit in there, either.

I've been a solitary for a long time because I too am very eclectic.. and I primarily worship a Goddess many people haven't even heard of. Sometimes Asherah isn't even listed on Goddess sites. Plus most groups are just too dogmatic for me.

We have just started celebrating the Sabbats with a small, very eclectic group.. no dogma.. we alternate leading rituals, so they can have a Wiccan, Celtic, Kabbalistic.. even Santerian feel depending whose turn it is. We are all Polytheists of one sort or another and we all worship both Goddess and God.. that's what binds us together. And we are certainly not politically conservative.

I have only just now started to reach out via e-mail to other Pagans in my area.. and it is because of Ds. I want him to have community.. to have people to celebrate with.. to have friends who are also being raised around these traditions, so he doesn't feel left out or isolated during the holiday season.

I wish all of you lived near me so we could celebrate IRL!
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Old 12-11-2002, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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O/T Asherah I'm glad your back darn board lost my post on your other thread.

Anyway, I agree I wish we all did live closer. I never would have thought it would be so hard to find like minded souls. Or maybe I'm just to picky, lol

Your group sounds great. I have a tendency to not play well with others
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Old 12-11-2002, 07:10 PM
 
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Asherah,

Great to see you back.

Your group sounds great. I have look for something similar in my area, but no luck. You would think in eclectic san francisco it would be easy.

I was thinking. There are a few here that I know are history nuts with too much information in the pea brains (sorry arduinna, I often feel this way myself) or a doing a lot of searching and researching. Would anyone be interested in an online book club research group with a pagan bias? I read a book or two lately that I would have loved to discuss with someone. I am open to just about any topic. Any takers?
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Old 12-11-2002, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm game :-)
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Old 12-11-2002, 09:34 PM
 
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Very cool...I will do some browsing this weekend and maybe I can stumble upon something interesting.
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Old 12-11-2002, 09:57 PM
 
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Greenfrogs and Arduinna--I know, so often I wish there were more people to mirror my beliefs *exactly* :LOL I guess I have issues with groups in general--quite often I feel organized groups of anyone can become elitist or limited in their thinking. But it is great to come here and connect, even if it's just to say how it feels to be different in the face of a majority.
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Old 12-11-2002, 10:08 PM
 
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In the interests of my continuing education, what is CUUPS? I am assuming UU is Universal Uniterian.
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Old 12-11-2002, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's a pagan UU group. Not all UUs have them though.
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Old 12-11-2002, 10:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arduinna
I've pretty much stopped posting at my favorite pagan place, because I'm not eclectic enough or conservative enough to really fit in.
I think I know what you mean Arduinna. I don't post on any pagan boards anymore, and even some of the 'New Age" magazines aren't for me. I was the 'leader' of a local circle for a while, and that was great, still is, but there was getting to be a specific emphasis on Shamanism and that is not my focus.
I don't know if I would be considered conservative or liberal pagan ( aren't we all liberal????)


But I am a part time writer which allows me the opportunity to think out loud about some of the same stuff: I write for the local alternative spirituality newsletter and am acutally doing one on uses of the word Goddess ( such as your sub-title)
and how 'pop culture' it is all getting thus moving away from so much of the actual meaning.

Now I'M rambling !!!
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Old 12-11-2002, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by KeysMama
( aren't we all liberal????)
You would have thought so But in my experience no
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Old 12-11-2002, 11:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arduinna
How are you liking UU?? I wish our local UU had a CUPPS chapter, but it doesn't.
UU is lovely. Dh and 16 yo dd did the legwork and found one in the next town they liked. We are in NE so there is one in just abt every town. UU has been around since the 1600's!

It does not have a CUUPS ( which stands for Covenant of UU Pagans). But we have met several "pagans" of various kinds. Some seem nice, some seem---flaky!

By and large, the people are open minded. Many seem to have been injured by the church of their childhoods, unless they were raised UU! My kids all go to "yUUth" group, and say all the kids are nice too. Cool, pierced or stylish, but seem intelligent and not deadened/overly rebellious, or otherwise burnt out.

UU is socially/environmentally active, and is involved in things like Habitat for Humanity and Loaves and Fishes.

We have heard their winter solstice celebration is standing room only, more well attended than the xmas one.

They also host a "Hindu" style sacred dance, other cool and multi-culti stuff.

We found out that the pagan circle from another nearby town has a Yule celebration, some kind of circle, which may be more for pagans alone than the big one at our church for all.

So, i might rec, even if your local UU doesn't have a CUUPS, you could still check it out and see if you find it enjoyable, you still might meet some cool people.
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Old 12-11-2002, 11:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the info Yours sounds great!!

I haven't gone to mine. We have a sunday service (seems a little to churchy for me) and some other things.
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Old 12-12-2002, 02:10 AM
 
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Pagan is just another category of people in my opinion
I know what you mean tho- I sometimes feel like that too
<shrug shoulders>
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Old 12-12-2002, 02:45 AM
 
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I understand what you mean, maybe, about conservative Pagans Arduinna. One fellow I "know" online is an adamant 2nd amendment supporter, yet he follows the pre-Christian practices of his heritage(Irish and Welsh), rather than the predominant Christian theology. His family thinks him a bit odd, but that group online also doesn't make a distinction between Christian and nonChristian. They're just all Celts and speak or are learning one or two of the languages. I find it quietly funny sometimes the things I just don't Get, and the other things I agree with him about.

I have to remind myself that pre-Christian cultures were not all love and light peace oriented. Some had quite well developed warrior traditions, which have continued. Those perspectives do have value I've found.

I'm one who thinks there's a time and a place for everything. Being a doormat isn't a particularly Pagan trait IMO either. Thank Goddess everything in life isn't so black&white!

I wish I could check out our local UU church to see if they're as accepting as I hear they can be. Maybe someday in the not too distant future...


"What will you do once you know?"
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Old 12-12-2002, 01:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arduinna
I haven't gone to mine. We have a sunday service (seems a little to churchy for me) and some other things.
ITA. That is why I firmly don't want to go every week. In fact, our church is so traditional looking. it is from the 1700's, a small white NE style church, like Geo Washington went to. Steeple, bell, and even the pews are in family boxes with little doors! I feel funny "worshipping," or whatever it is I am doing, in a square room, everyone facing an altar up front.

But, then, the service is so non-traditional. Children are there at the beginning, invited to come up and hear a little story sometimes that the pastor (a Lesbian, BTW, and she has a beautiful soothing voice, long brown hair worn loose) will tell or read the them, then they leave for their own thing (RE--religious education, which seems to be of all religions, with much emphasis on nature), and the adults sing them out with a special little song. Very respectful and supportive of kids.

the first time I went, they were starting a mentor program, a coming of age thing for young teens. Each child went up front with their families and their mentor, and gave their parents a symbol of their childhood. One girl (15, goth looking, but so sweet) gave her dad a messenger bag full of the books he used to spend an hour every night of her childhood reading to her. They were both crying and I think half the congregation was too! there is a box of tissues in each pew box! I am getting the feeling many parents are into a form of AP. Bunch of stinkin liberals!

The services are all so democratic that way, it seems to come from the people, not from the pastor. She facilitates more like a LLL Leader, doesn't dictate. She does do a sermon, but it is short.

The first part of the service is when people who want to go up and light a small candle from a lit chalice, and tell why they are lighting the candle, for a celebration of a birth, for someone who is ill, for joy that a family member is visiting, etc.

At thanksgiving, they passed out baskets of bread, and each person ripped of a piece for themselves, and ripped off a piece for the person next to them, or you could choose to get up and go across the room, to feed whomever you liked. A nice way to do "communion," I thought! (That night, the teens did the same in yUUth group)

We sing hymns that are old fashioned in flavor, but mostly about caring and community and so forth.

After the church part, most people seem to go downstairs for the coffee and snacks (really good snacks), to chat and network.

Each church has it's own flavor tho, some seem a bit more xiany.
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