Just wondering how you felt or were perceived...
Meghan, mom to 11yo, 8yo, and 3yo
There are a few Ezzoites (one woman with a 4YO is sort of the mothering guru for some inconceivible reason) but the Pastor wouldn't touch this mess with a 10 foot poll.
There are earthey chrunchey types as well. WE're in sort of a cool small group (the church seems to be divided geographically east and west and the westerners are sort of cool and the easterners are sort of mainstream)
I will speak my mind if the subject comes up but I try to live in harmony with others.
...Although I have decided that I will warn people against Ezzo if they're pregnant because if those Ezzoites are pushing their agenda why should I feel meek about sharing my concerns??
Most think I'm curious because I'm vegetarian but, again, I don't trumpet the fact and we just get along.
Around Christmas time there was in incident at a party where a fellow (nice guy) was talking about his daughter's boyfriend's son (3YO) who was out of control and "needed a good spanking".
Upon discussion I found out that the poor boy had a drugged out mother in jail and the father was fighting for custody. Hello! doesn't anyone realize that the child is out of control because of his stupid environment and what he *needs* is a loving home and consistancy. (and, yes, I said this to the group) and the *last* thing he needed was a spanking. "But the Bible says to spank" Me, "no it doesn't" "all kids need to be spanked or they're brats" "Do you like Julianna?" "yes, she's a sweet little girl" "....and she has never been spanked!!"
Grrrr.....but mostly they're sweet and think I'm crunchey but that's life.
In the past, at other churches, I felt like I always had to fight for my right to be who I am and parent gently. Everyone always wanted to "teach" me the "Biblical" way to discipline. I still have friends who think they are going to influence my parenting, but for the most part people are impressed with my teens and adult children, so they figure I must be doing something right!
There are really only six other moms in my church and each one of them is very loving and nurturing and all of them stayed home with their children when they were little (3 went back to WOH when their children went to school).
My pastor and his wife spank occasionally but they don't try to tell me to do the same. They usually addresses discipline with good communication tools but their second child is extremely difficult and sometimes they resort to spanking. When I told them I was pregnant with #2, they said they were elated and thought I should have 15 kids (no, they're not into the quiverful thing) becasue they thought I was such a great mother. That made me feel really good. We're learning from each other.
See www.ezzo.info - they have lots of good info there, especially useful if churches are debating whether of not to teach this program.
Meghan, mom to 11yo, 8yo, and 3yo
We are new to our church. Dh is the new music minister. Anyway, they don't really know us yet but I can tell you this....They are ALL into EZZO!!! Which really dumbfounds me. For one he isn't remotely scriptural do NOT get me started!
Anyway, we are borderline on extended bfing (in thir eyes anyway! Ds is almost 1). I've gotten comments like, "Oh is he still on formula?" And I'm like, "Uh no! he is bf'd and has never had formula." They think we are "asking for it" when they hear that we part-time co-sleep. They don't know our view on medicine and preventive chiropractics yet. but wait till they do!
Anyway, we are going to be known as the "Weird" parents. they have never appoached us about Ezzo and they better think twice about it if they ever want to!
BTW...I have never left ds in the nursery for more than a potty trip. But the lady in charge of the nursery is fine with it....cause i stay with ds. I want him to play...and I hate sunday school anyway!!
Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven. PROUD to be a Catholic! :
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
No I'm not weird just a little eccentric to them.
I just saw your sig. that cracks me up! We are taking this spring off too. But NOT for the same reason. 2 springs ago we were married (3/3/01) and the spring of 2002 we had ds....this yr we're staying HOME!!!
I do know that there are a few other families who practice 'reactive co-sleeping', although most of the older folk in the congregation are quick to tell them what a bad habit that is. :
I don't actually think that most families at our church spank, although I may be wrong about that.
I'm not vegetarian, but I don't eat red meat, and that is most definitely weird in our area! And they all roll their eyes behind my back at the way I limit what my kids eat.
But then - that's Scotland for you (has among the highest incidences of heart disease, etc. in Europe due to the horrible diet of its citizens).
So - they think I'm weird, but probaby not too 'out there'. We dont' have boys, but not circing wouldn't be a big deal - no one circumcises their boys over here anyway!
Megan, Happy Anniversary! Your anniversary is also ds's birthday (he's 4). And congrats on move and the job. Yay for good things!
When I homebirthed my ds (he was 10lbs 8 oz) everyone thought I was insane. I don't really discuss a lot of the ways I raise my family with people at church becasue they raised me and my generation (most of the church is 50+) so differently.
So, if I did talk about it, they would think I was weirder, even more than they do.
We're hoping to go elsewhere, very soon, so hopefully wherever we go, we can find other AP parents. (crossing fingers).
I'm also the one who is in charge of the nursery there, and the one pastor keeps trying to remind me that we have portable cribs (whoopee!). I keep hoping I'll be a good influence on the ones that don't have kids yet.
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds 11yo dd 9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds
Most people are medical minded, very mainstream.
Me ...hb, bf, ap, hs, ...I am a weirdo!
My favorite aunt never married because she wanted to marry a devout Roman Catholic who was also health minded, vegetarian, and an organic gardening-juicing type.
Another lady breastfed her first DD until she was 4 and is still nursing her youngest one, who is now 4. She encourages me to continue (not that I'm thinking of quitting) and tells me what a great mama I am for nursing.
I haven't heard or seen any spanking going on, that's a good sign.
I BF in the sancturary, nobody even bats an eye.
Our church is VERY casual though, they even have a coffee break after worship, then start the sermon. It's very comfortable and homey...just what we were looking for.
We don't intend on telling anyone about not vaxing. For us it is a non-issue. When we are asked how Tracy takes his shots we just down play it.
Of course they think I'm odd because he is still mainly bf'ed. I guess when they hit one they expect me to give him a glass of cows milk with dinner!
Just wait till they really get to know me....they can hear the crunch a mile away!!
My oldest was the first bf baby to be in our church in over 15 years...No one understood why I didn't want them to give her a toy bottle during bible class. We heard, "you don't use a crib?!?" quite a lot. All of the other parents in our church do spank, most not frequently though. Sadly, spanking has been preached from the pulpit before.
They have gotten use to me now, though, but I'm still the "nut"
Recently we have a newer member who is bfing her 3rd and sleeps with her babies..that is until they turn 1 when she weans them AND puts them in a crib!!!
But I have converted her to cloth diapering and homeschooling...so maybe I can changer her mind on other things too.
I pray daily that I can be an example to the other people in church...I see it as my personal mission work.
They are now letting me use one of the rooms for LLL meetings...we're moving up.
I think I will always be the weird one there though.
Now that we are converting to a vegan diet, it's worse!
Anyway - My church at the time was so supportive of families and doing everything you could to support your children and raise them in God's family. Yet, they weren't so arrogant as to say that they knew the only way to biblically raise children. I was never looked down upon for BFing - actually quite a few mom's would whip out a boob during service and you could hear a collective latch on! I personally did not cloth diaper (one out of dipes now and one on the verge of using thepotty), but I did run the nursery and noone ever batted an eye at cloth diapering mamas - the only issue for a couple workers was "how the heck do I put this thing on?" When our pastor did a sermon on parenting he always presented both sides/opinions of the topic. He would give his interpretation of what he thought God was saying through the Bible but was also very quick to say that we each needed to do biblical reading on our own, pray for guidance, and do what we felt God was leading us to do. I was so grateful for that church community - very supportive of all the congregation and very loving. I also felt very biblically based too. Unfortunately, we moved 6hrs away a couple of months ago and have yet to find a church like that., I was spoiled there! Don't know what the people will think of me in this town, but I guess I really don't care. As long as my kids grow up and can say Thanks Mom - you were awesome! That's all that matters!
Anyway, I have given up on the blue hair, and dh and I don't do christian rap to Lauryn Hill and Kirk Franklin hits in front of this church. we do cloth diaper and nurse for three years or so, and co-sleeping, and we are vegans. we do our best to put the emphasis on GOD when we are at church but we don't deny who we are and we are ADVOCATES for those little people popping out of mommies (many of whom need extra-prayin because they are born in those germ-filled hospitals in a drug0induced way). I can't say I feel like much of an example many days and I want to MAKE FRIENDS at this new place. How do we balance our weirdness with our desire for community, and how do we relate to other christian mommas while not alienating them with our different choices? I guess we keep on praying that we won't turn out as dogmatic and dismissove of opposition as ezzo....