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#121 of 523 Old 12-04-2006, 10:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fericito View Post
About polygamy, it has always been my understanding (and I really have studied much on the subject, wanting to gain the "right" feeling about it) that not everyone will be required to live it - in this life or the next. Not everyone was required to live it in Joseph's time either.
this was my thought, as well.

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As for the mama talking about her dh and her frustration, I feel you! I think it's a common trial, especially for those of us who have convert dhs. My dh loves the gospel but I know if it wasn't for me pushing us all the time, we'd be a lot less active and do a lot less what we should than we currently do. Sometimes it breaks my heart because my dad was this spiritual powerhouse. I guess I just have to keep praying for him, leading the best I can and hoping one day he becomes the person I know he can be.
thanks! and the part i bolded really hit home.

nice to 'meet' you, Tara, BTW!

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#122 of 523 Old 12-04-2006, 10:30 PM
 
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we had our tithing settlement yesturday. i am so psyched, ladies! well, 'psyched' doesn't seem like the right word but it's the only one i can think of. all day i've been walking on cloud 9 and yet feel so grounded. next month DH and i get to start temple prep classes and i get my final Bishop's court. the Bishop is confident that i will be fully reinstated. it's been 3 1/2 years! i'm just so overwhelmed! to think that by the time Olive arives in April we could be an eternal family. humbling, to say the least.
congratulations! What a wonderful feeling!
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#123 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 04:25 AM
 
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I'm in the healthful drinkschapter of the Word of Wisdom book. He says every well equipped kitchen should have a juice extractor, and gives this recipe for a healthy and festive punch:

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equal quantities of lemon and orange juice, a little cut fruit in season; honey added to suit the taste, a dash of grenadine and enough carbonated water to increase the palatability of the drink.
Yum! But the last time I saw grenadine syrup, I was in France.
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#124 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 04:38 AM
 
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"It is wiser to spend a little more money for natural foods than to spend it to cure or alleviate a diseased body."

(Widtsoe,John. "The Word of Wisdom." http://www.ldsveg.org/WidtsoeWordOfW...rpretation.htm 4 Dec. 2006)
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#125 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 11:14 AM
 
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love that quote, Alicia! thanks!

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#126 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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Alicia- i noticed that the link is to LDSveg.org. are you a vegetarian/vegan? we were vegetarian for a few years and then went vegan for a few months all for health reasons. then i got preggers with Olive and started craving cheese and eatting meat here and there. we've decided to go back vegetarian. maybe vegan but right now i have to have my dairy! lol

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#127 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 01:24 PM
 
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Maggie, congratulations! I'm glad things are going so well for you!

Hey, everybody, I am looking for creative and/or meaningful things to do with children to help them focus on Jesus at Christmastime. My shopping is pretty much done, and now I have 3 weeks to do fun activities with ds and also to help turn his thoughts toward Christ instead of only on Santa. (Though I am proud of him--when asked why we celebrate Christmas, he actually replied "Because baby Jesus was born" instead of "because Santa brings us presents" like his cousin said.) So he does know why we celebrate Christmas, but I know that for all of our sakes we need to bring the spiritual into it. I would love to hear others' sacred traditions, special FHE's, etc.
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#128 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 01:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
I'm in the healthful drinkschapter of the Word of Wisdom book. He says every well equipped kitchen should have a juice extractor, and gives this recipe for a healthy and festive punch:



Yum! But the last time I saw grenadine syrup, I was in France.
I bought some at Wal-Mart a few months ago. It's in the same aisle with the margarita mixes.

Serenity LDS mommy to 4 rambunctious kidlets
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#129 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 01:28 PM
 
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Laurel- when i was younger we had a tapper candle one year that had 25 dots down it. each night we'd burn the candle to a dot and read from the scriptures until Christmas Eve and on Christmas Eve we read about Christ's birth. until then i had just been th stuff leading up to his birth. i LOVED that and it really stuc in my memory buuuuut i can't remember what scriptures they were. we had them on a laminated sheet of pretty Christmas stationary that has sense disapereared. i'm going to do an internet search now to see if i can find something similar....

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#130 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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nice to 'meet' you, Tara, BTW!
Right back at you - and I am thrilled for your news. I hope you'll come to love the temple as much as I do. Isn't it funny how sometimes when we walk through the dark it makes things that should've been important before but weren't ever so much more special?

I was once disciplined and it was so difficult to get through but once I was able to do things like take the sacrament again I would just cry and cry with joy. It was such a beautiful thing!

Congrats for the path you're on!
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#131 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 03:09 PM
 
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Hey, everybody, I am looking for creative and/or meaningful things to do with children to help them focus on Jesus at Christmastime. My shopping is pretty much done, and now I have 3 weeks to do fun activities with ds and also to help turn his thoughts toward Christ instead of only on Santa. (Though I am proud of him--when asked why we celebrate Christmas, he actually replied "Because baby Jesus was born" instead of "because Santa brings us presents" like his cousin said.) So he does know why we celebrate Christmas, but I know that for all of our sakes we need to bring the spiritual into it. I would love to hear others' sacred traditions, special FHE's, etc.
The one I loved best as a child was having an empty manager (carboard, real, whatever) and then pieces of straw where every time we did something nice for someone in the family, we got to add a piece of straw. Then by Christmas day the manager was full of straw and we could lay baby Jesus in there. It was so much fun to have motivation to be nice LOL to the rest of the family.

Also we always spend Christmas morning starting with family prayer, reading the Luke story and remembering the true Christmas reason before we ever dig into presents.

I can't wait to hear more ideas to try and incorporate in our family!
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#132 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 03:33 PM
 
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This is such wonderful news.

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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
we had our tithing settlement yesturday. i am so psyched, ladies! well, 'psyched' doesn't seem like the right word but it's the only one i can think of. all day i've been walking on cloud 9 and yet feel so grounded. next month DH and i get to start temple prep classes and i get my final Bishop's court. the Bishop is confident that i will be fully reinstated. it's been 3 1/2 years! i'm just so overwhelmed! to think that by the time Olive arives in April we could be an eternal family. humbling, to say the least.
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#133 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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Alicia- i noticed that the link is to LDSveg.org. are you a vegetarian/vegan? we were vegetarian for a few years and then went vegan for a few months all for health reasons. then i got preggers with Olive and started craving cheese and eatting meat here and there. we've decided to go back vegetarian. maybe vegan but right now i have to have my dairy! lol
Not completely - but we are trying to integrate more vegetarian meals into the menu. DH is a bacon cheeseburger man, so I don't think we'll ever go completely veggie, but we're trying. This book has been very influential.
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#134 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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I bought some at Wal-Mart a few months ago. It's in the same aisle with the margarita mixes.
Huzzah!!
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#135 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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My MIL gave me a homemade book she did years ago at Homemaking (when it was called that!), with stories/poems/activities for every day of the week for the first 24 days of December. The Friend has tons of stuff, even the back issues...just go on lds.org. I've also been reading the short stories from the Ensign to my kids. They love it.

All of our festivites for Christmas Day begins on Christmas Eve. Of course this year will be way different because we'll be at my parents, but I'm sure it will pretty much be the same since what I do is what my parents did.

We spend Christmas Eve day making cookies and preparing a nice dinner. We have our dinner (cornish game hens, rice, salad, etc...) and dessert. Afterwards we have our gift exchange. What that is, whoever is there gets a small gift for anyone. When I was a kid, it couldn't cost more then $5...but prices have gone up...can't be more then $10 now. It can be a g/c to somewhere, candy, card games (like Uno, etc...), or whatever you like. My kids love going shopping for the gift, and then wrap them. I think this is the favorite thing my kids like to do at Christmas. We then read "T'was the Night Before Christmas", and everytime the word "THE" is said, we pass the gift to the next person (you have to be sitting in a circle). If at the end of the story, you have your gift back, you say THE END. If you say THE END, and everyone gets their gift back instead, omit THE END. Then we check out our gifts, and get all excited more for Christmas Day. We then read the Christmas Story. We act it out too. My kids are really hoping that baby will come before Christmas Day so that he can be Jesus. Since we will be at my parents house, there will be 4 extra cousins, so it should be fun. We then go look at Christmas lights around the neighborhood, and come back for cookies and eggnog, and then go to bed.

On Christmas morning, kids cannot come out until I say so, usually at 7am. We then check out to see what Santa brought us, including the biggest bowl of candy you can ever imagine!! And it's not cheap candy...it's the good stuff! Of course the toddler at the time (Lindsey again this year) can careless about what Santa brought because all she wants is the candy. I have pictures of all my kids as toddlers chowing down on candy. We then have our Christmas breakfast of crepes, fruit and danishes. After everything in the kitchen is cleaned up, we then all go sit by the tree, and starting with the youngest, we all watch everyone open presents. It usually takes about 2 hrs. It's fun, we love it. And then we are usually done by noon, and kids are still chowing down on candy, and we have a late lunch/early dinner after I have taken a 2 hr nap, while kids are playing!!

Only thing about Christmas being on Sunday, is that even though it is Christmas, it's still Sunday, and I don't like for my kids to be outside really playing with all their outside stuff...so they whine & complain, etc... I don't care if they are outside for the rest of the days of the week though...
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#136 of 523 Old 12-05-2006, 09:53 PM
 
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I'm at my wits end with my 9 yr DD. Talk about the most moodiest, poutiest child!! I have threatened her with her attitude, and I have done everything I can think of except spanking. I have grounded her, sent her to bed early, I just don't know what to do. She is exactually like my sister was (who is now a non-member).

I have told her has about lost her Christmas, and that Santa was more than likely to bring her coal. I just can't believe how she acts. It doesn't matter how you say it to her, or what you say to her...it's "I don't care", "I don't have too", "so", "whatever", and all that.

:
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#137 of 523 Old 12-06-2006, 06:41 PM
 
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Heidi, this next comment ties in with your problem hopefully so I hope it will help.

Laurel, I've been thinking lately a lot about your comment awhile back re: your little guy and your efforts to implement gentle discipline AP style and his resistance to it. I hope things are going better btw. It just reminded me so much of my oldest and how he was when he was little, just very strong willed and smart.

I obtained a degree from BYU's education school, actually a post-baccalaureate (which is similar to a certification) and so therefore receive their letters/magazine. They recently sent a wonderful DVD called, "You Can Do This" and it is specifically about parenting and applying research to raising children. It is a short DVD but has a link to more information and further DVDs that can be puchased. The link btw is:

http://ecuation.byu.edu/youcandothis

I am starting to go on there and learn more, as much as I can. I am so glad for all of the research that the different dept.s do at BYU. I've decided that this is the advice that I am going to follow. It rings pretty close to AP style as far as I can see but I have noticed that some things differ from, OK one thing in particular differs from one book that I read which is Alfie Kohn's book on Unconditional Parenting and that is that they *do* encourage praise of specific behaviors. This also seems to be reenforced by my study of the scriptures. Of course excessive praise when motivated by trying to get a child to do what you want them to do for your own selfish reasons is wrong but I think it makes kids feel good to hear that they are doing something right. I know that I do.

My approach with my oldest and my style of trying to implement GD with him did not work with his personality style. He is very strong willed and has an extremely difficult time transitioning and some other things. I think that if we had actually taken the approach of Love and Logic with him (ie clear set boundaries even with timeouts) from an early age that it would have been much better for him. He does well with a lot of structure and specific expectations. He is 5 and has a hard time still listening to and taking directions from me and my dh, he whines and lies and seems to have very little emotional control (melt downs at the drop of a hat). It is very frustrating after all of the countless nights of being up with him, the exhausting days of trying to make sure he had enough to do and was engaged and trying to meet his sleep and dietary needs. Eventually I'm coming to learn that kids still need to take responsibility for themselves and sometimes the philosophy of GD tends to excuse their behavior vs teaching correct behavior, even when they are tired or hungry, etc. Of course I try to meet his needs the best I can but he still needs to listen and not talk back and meet a certain standard. I wish I had realized this sooner.

I hope the link helps Heidi, I look forward to reading more info from the website.
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#138 of 523 Old 12-06-2006, 07:46 PM
 
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I'm at my wits end with my 9 yr DD. Talk about the most moodiest, poutiest child!! I have threatened her with her attitude, and I have done everything I can think of except spanking. I have grounded her, sent her to bed early, I just don't know what to do. She is exactually like my sister was (who is now a non-member).

I have told her has about lost her Christmas, and that Santa was more than likely to bring her coal. I just can't believe how she acts. It doesn't matter how you say it to her, or what you say to her...it's "I don't care", "I don't have too", "so", "whatever", and all that.

:
Maybe there are dietary reasons? My younger sister is a BRATT when she has any sugar.
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#139 of 523 Old 12-07-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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Greeaaat--DD is 8 going on 12 some days . . .

I'm kind of in a tough situation--I strained my lower back (maybe baby wearin or not) and can't carry dd on the stairs. I'm using heat and ibuprofen. I know that part of the problem is not tasking enough time to strengthen abs.

And ds is hurting people and stuff ... parenting is even harder when I can't wrangle kids. Resources or ideas or forums here?
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#140 of 523 Old 12-07-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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I thought I was subbed to this thread, but apparently not. I realized it had been a while since I had seen the lds thread when I saw alisaterry's new (to me) sig and giggled (for the record, alissa, I put a quote from a cartoon in my sig before I saw yours ), and thought hey, where's that lds thread?

Contrats magstphil on the upcoming temple stuff! Such great news.

fericito summed up my thoughts on polygamy as well. The thought of dh having another wife really ate away at me for a while. After doing some reading (not related to that worry) about family structures in different cultures, it occured to me that what we think of as "normal family life" is totally defined by the society we grow up in, and since all I know now is my time on earth, that's what I think of as normal and good. If I was spiritually born into a polygamous family in the pre-existence, then in actually, that is what I will think of as normal once the brief time on earth, behind the veil, is over. That's what I hope, anyway. I don't know if it would ever happen on earth, but I think that the idea of legalizing polygamy in western countries isn't farfetched. I've even thought it was kind of funny that the church was against same sex marriage, given that it is probably the most direct route to legalizing polygamy. Well, maybe not funny, but interesting (and hopefully telling).

For those looking forward to having sister-wives around to share the workload, my (limited) understanding of polygamous families in the early church was that each wife and child(ren) had their own household -- it wasn't one home with all of the wives together, or if it was one building, there were distinct households within it.

I really, really don't know if I could do it on the earth. If I were asked to participate, it wouldn't change my belief that the church is true, I just don't know if I would be mature enough to handle it without being mad at dh all the time when he spent time away from us and getting insanely jealous. I would also be worried that dh would suffer. Love is needed in a marriage, so he would need to develop love for the other wife/wives, and I would probably not want to hold myself back from getting mad at him for it and trying to manipulate his feelings so he would only love me (making him feel guilty, distancing myself). That wouldn't be fair to dh or to the other women involved. I had a friend who said she wasn't happy about the prospect of polygamy but wouldn't mind because she was her dh's "first wife" and therefore I suppose his true love and they would be the "real" couple while the other wives would just be married to him so they had a hubby. Well, that might be a comforting thought if you are the "first wife," but it's not really fair to the secondary wives, who deserve love and partnership just as much as anyone else.

Has anyone read any of Orson Scott Card's "Women of Genesis" books? He touches on the feelings involved in all of this kind of stuff.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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#141 of 523 Old 12-07-2006, 05:25 PM
 
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Brisen - your post really made me think and I remembered something I wanted to say about polygamy. I believe there are those out there that will have no problem with sharing their spouse and that is good for them as they'll live the law. Also, for woman who want to be married in name only, I think there are some like that also. Had a mission companion who really didn't care for men, she wasn't homosexual, she just really didn't like companionship and she often lamented the fact that she'd have to get married to obtain the celestial kingdom. I used to think it was weird but in more recent years I've thought that she just might end up a polygamous wife with no problem - she'd obtain the convenant she needed for celestialism and yet not have to have a relationship she doesn't really want. Then again maybe she's just weird .

My point is that there are so many ways it could work and so many people that don't feel as strongly against it as I do that I just know when the time comes things will work out best for everyone. It wouldn't be heaven if we were unhappy so it has to come about in a way that each will find peace and happiness about it. Either our hearts will change or else we won't be asked to live something we can't endure.
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#142 of 523 Old 12-09-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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all this talk about polygamy got me dreaming about it. last night i dreamt that i found a wife for DH to be wife and mom while i went on vacation! throughout the dream we'd collect wives so that we could go on vacation. we had this wall where we hung lifesized portraits of each wife and rotated them. whoever was on top had to stay home with DH and the kids.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#143 of 523 Old 12-09-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Tara, you summed up my general feelings on the polygamy as well.

DH and read (or rather, listened to) O.S.Card's "Sarah" on our recent long-drive vacation, and really enjoyed it. I was disappointed that our libary doesn't have his others on cd, since we've made a great habit of listening to stories on cd regularly since that trip. But I did find it very interesting and thought he did a good job of exploring the feelings that some of the women of the scriptures might have had.

We made "scented ornaments" the other day as a family, and it was pretty fun. You take cinnamon, applesauce and glue and cut out cookie cutter shapes, then let them air-dry. It has filled our whole home with the smell of cinnamon, and I love it! The recipe is at familyfun.com, or I'll pm or email it to anyone who wants it. Not exactly a spiritual activity, but it was fun and good family-bonding time.
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#144 of 523 Old 12-09-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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DH and read (or rather, listened to) O.S.Card's "Sarah" on our recent long-drive vacation, and really enjoyed it. I was disappointed that our libary doesn't have his others on cd, since we've made a great habit of listening to stories on cd regularly since that trip. But I did find it very interesting and thought he did a good job of exploring the feelings that some of the women of the scriptures might have had.
I have his whole women of the bible series. It's very good!

Mag - that's funny!
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#145 of 523 Old 12-09-2006, 06:32 PM
 
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We made "scented ornaments" the other day as a family, and it was pretty fun. You take cinnamon, applesauce and glue and cut out cookie cutter shapes, then let them air-dry. It has filled our whole home with the smell of cinnamon, and I love it! The recipe is at familyfun.com, or I'll pm or email it to anyone who wants it. Not exactly a spiritual activity, but it was fun and good family-bonding time.
At our RS Enrichment today, they handed out some of these ornaments. They smell really good!
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#146 of 523 Old 12-09-2006, 07:29 PM
 
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Laurel, you probably already discovered this but in this Dec.'s Ensign there is a great article about spiritual Christmas traditions. There are a lot of really great ideas. I plan to implement the idea of having a box under our tree and everyone writing what their gift to Christ is before any gifts are opened.
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#147 of 523 Old 12-10-2006, 01:59 AM
 
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I just asked DH why he supposes LDS women don't give blessings like they did in Joseph Smith's time, and his thoughtful answer was "maybe they don't realise that they can."
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#148 of 523 Old 12-10-2006, 04:33 AM
 
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I am on my ward's activity committee... we had a ward activity tonight. It went badly, to say the least.

First- we had 50 of the worst behaved kids ever crammed into our tiny buildings tiny rs room... only three of our teens showed up to help watch them, and they were irritable, so they didn't really do much. It was mayhem! Kids everywhere! I swear, at one point, I almost strangled an 11 year old... that is why they don't call me to primary All I wanted was for the adults to have 90 minutes to themselves, no kids. It tool one hour for there to be a complete meltdown... oh well...

Second- We opted not to have a Santa. I feel strongly about this issue- we're Mormon, Santa is a tool of satan to distract people from Christ... I'm on the committee, it was my call. I had several women come up to me to complain about the lack of santa.... at first I was polite, but after a while, I just started saying, "No, there isn't a Santa. We're Mormon, we don't worship santa." I know it was snarky, but I couldn't help it! It seems like, no matter what I do, people quip about every little thing!

An interesting note- since I got married, 2.5 years ago, people at church have been hounding me to procreate... I normally brush it off, and truth be told, I'm in no rush. However, since I started having m/c's, I find this rather irritating! So, tonight, when one of the "are you pregnant yet?" ladies asked why I looked stressed, I told her there was a problem with the kids. She asked for more detail, and I said, "well, I'll put it this way. Tonight the Lord is helping me to see that infertility is a blessing!" They laughed, and I don't think they'll be bothering me anymore... I wish I could just tell them that I can't easily have kids, and that I want to slap them when they ask me about it...

I realized after I left that I have never escaped a church activity without crying... and I have never felt like I belong there. yet still I go... I think this makes me insane, DH thinks it makes me obedient...

Do you all feel like this sometimes?!
~Valarie~

~Mom to Sy (3), #2 Due Jan 2014, GF to Pork, Psych grad student, Judoka~

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#149 of 523 Old 12-10-2006, 05:07 AM
 
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I also wanted to throw in that I got my temple recommend back from the bishop tonight, and tomorrow I will be able to take the sacrament for the first time in almost a year I am so happy! I have struggled with smoking since long before I joined the church, but I feel like I really have it in check this time... I just had to share with people who might understand...

~Valarie~

~Mom to Sy (3), #2 Due Jan 2014, GF to Pork, Psych grad student, Judoka~

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#150 of 523 Old 12-10-2006, 05:47 AM
 
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GO VALARIER!!!!

Good for you! It's hard ... I know. I never smoked - I've got asthma, they would have killed me - but coffee was/is my bugaboo. I still struggle with it, and it's been just over 10 years since I last had a cup. Thought it might get a little better after we moved from Seattle - Get thee behind me Starbucks! - but it still gets me whenever we go to the cafe in Borders or B&N or someplace like that ... especially in the Fall and Winter.

Take it one day at a time, and you'll get through it, and the next thing you know, a decade will have passed.

Well ... I'm NewCrunchyDaddy (alisaterry's DH) and as she likes to say (usually with tented fingers and in a Mr. C. Montgomery Burns voice) my "crunchy conversion is complete. Excellent."

DS is 1yo+some and is - as Alisa pointed out - an uncirc'd, slinged, unvaxed, cloth-diapered, breastfed, never-been-spanked, cosleeping poop and giggle machine. Love him to death and would never dream of doing anything differently.

I am in school right now. I'm on the 15-Year Plan for my Bachelor. I've been in the halls of academia since I graduated over a decade ago (wow, that makes me feel old and am finally going back full-time to finish myh degree. I am an English Major with a Literature emphasis and am getting an English Education Minor. I plan on getting my teaching certificate and seeing where it goes from there. I've got about a year to 18 months left if I plan it right ... two years if I don't want to overload myself. So the light is at the end of the tunnel ... let's just pray it's not a train. :

I am an Extreme Bibliophile and my bibliobido is out of control. I have 1500+ books in my library ranging and have read a vast majority of them. I review the books I read online at Bryan's Book Blog.

I am a Simpsons and Futurama fan, an amateur writer, addicted to MDC and missing the Pacific NW so much right now. Utah is only temporary. Utah is only temporary. Utah is only temporary...

That's about it for me. So I'll post this now...

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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