Just a quick post. Well, hopefully quick.
I'm Becky, SAHM to 2 children, DD, 3 years old, and DS, 15 months. I was introduced to Mothering by a friend from a mainstream board when I was asking about circ. I started out lurking a lot, but love it here now. Learn new stuff almost every day. I still haven't ever sat down and read a book about AP, but I find myself becoming "crunchier" a little more every day. I love natural birth and the empowerment I feel from it. I think it's such a gift from God, for a woman to really find the strength within herself to do something so miraculous. Both my children were born in hospitals. My daughter was born under an OB's care, but it was still all natural, although I had an episiotomy. My son was born under a midwife's care, and was a planned waterbirth but came too quickly for the water part....the tub didn't have time to fill. I don't circ, I breastfeed (weaned DD at 16 months when I was pregnant and couldn't stand it anymore, but DS will go to at least 2 years), I babywear somewhat (I get the most use out of my sling at church!), cloth diaper, and am trying to get more into organics when possible. Vax is a back and forth issue for me. DD was mostly vax'd but slightly delayed, and has everything but chicken pox. DS is so far completely untouched, but I think somewhere around 2 or 3 years I will do a selective schedule for him...along the lines of only what I had as a child.
I missed most of last thread because I subscribed to it too late and forgot about it.
One thing I want to say here is that lately I'm having a really hard time enjoying church. I go in order to be there, but I find myself getting so caught up in negatives that I'm forgetting the positives. In fact, I find myself becoming very negative in general, lately. And you know, letting my thoughts come out as I have them, I think it's really my own fault. I haven't been good about scriptures, personal prayer, and I'm just barely squeaking by with my calling sometimes. I haven't been to the temple in 2 years because I'm too afraid to leave my children for so long ....had a bad experience when my daughter was 1. Anyway, I have been doing the necessary things associated with church, but I haven't been putting my heart into it. And I think that's probably the root of my negativity.
Alisaterry, I clicked on the link to your blog in your sig, and on it you had a thing about nature and joy. It was good to read. The other night I was feeling wide awake and unable to sleep, and my mind just wandered from thing to thing with no purpose, and all of the sudden, I thought, "Men are that they might have joy." And it just hit me that, YES, I am supposed to feel JOYFUL. But right now I'm not. There are things that make me smile and laugh, but overall I keep feeling so negative about so many things in the world and in my own life. I tend to just try to escape them more than anything.
Anyway, just thinking out loud. And subscribing to the thread! You guys always manage to say something uplifting
OH! And one more thing. My son is 15 months old! That means in 3 months he'll be nursery age. But honestly I don't know if he'll be ready for it! The only times I've ever left him, he's been with DH or a family member. And he still nurses very frequently. I don't know what I'll do if he hits 18 months and isn't looking ready to leave in a room full of other kids!