LDS Mamas and Papas #39 - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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#361 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 05:24 PM
 
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It's nice to see you back, LTB! I hope your ds feels better soon.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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#362 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 05:24 PM
 
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Anyway . . . there's lots going on here-- like we just bought a juicer and it's lots of fun
Just today I learned that you can blend spinach and pineapple juice in the blender, and it doesn't get chunky or thick or gross. I'm excited to try other greens and fruits, and then to someday get a juicer so I can use all kinds of vegetables without having to choke down all the pulp!
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#363 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just today I learned that you can blend spinach and pineapple juice in the blender, and it doesn't get chunky or thick or gross. I'm excited to try other greens and fruits, and then to someday get a juicer so I can use all kinds of vegetables without having to choke down all the pulp!
Couldn't you use a sieve and strain the pulp out of the juice?

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#364 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 06:29 PM
 
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Couldn't you use a sieve and strain the pulp out of the juice?
Yeah, I was planning to try that if I ended up with a lot of pulp.
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#365 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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Nice to see you again , LTB and Erin!
I want a juicer too. But then I look at my kitchen and wonder where I would put another appliance.
I am determined to have a yard sale this year. Really actually and truly get rid of 10+ years of crap. It's the finding all the stuff and getting it ready that scares me though.

Quateralien, your post about your ds cracked me up. So did the picture. Our boys I think are birds of a feather. Ds loves to shout out at random parts of sm. He just learned the words "disgusting," and "Eureka!" He loves to practice them lots. Of course he gets rewarded by everyone laughing at him. And he was trying to balance his bum on the edge of the grocery cart today in Costco. Freaked me out. I was just sure he was going to take a header onto the concrete any second. He didn't fortunately.
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#366 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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I want a juicer too. But then I look at my kitchen and wonder where I would put another appliance.
I was thinking the exact same thing. I was picturing a nice kitchen counter with appliances lined up in a row - Bosch mixer/blender/wheat grinder, Crock-pot, toaster, juicer, rice steamer (I decided last night that I need one when our rice burned, lol). My current kitchen doesn't have any room whatsoever. We have to put the appliances on the table when we want to use them.
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#367 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 08:22 PM
 
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"Remembering Wholeness" by Carol Tuttle (she is LDS, but many LDS people are uncomfortable with some of her 'doctrine', so I'm not sure if this one should be on the list)
This is the book I was given. And she does have some questionable sources for some of her ideas, but I don't really know that they are harmful. They just made me a bit uncomfortable.

Welcome back LTB! I had been wondering about you.

RasJane, I miss Oregon. Maybe we should move back and then we could get our boys together and they can comment all the way through sm!
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#368 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 08:26 PM
 
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This is the book I was given. And she does have some questionable sources for some of her ideas, but I don't really know that they are harmful. They just made me a bit uncomfortable.
What I heard is that she said that in heaven people made deals to abuse others in order to help them learn what they need to in this life. Is that what you understood her to be saying? I haven't read it and am just going off someone else's review, which has the potential of being like a game of "Telephone", lol
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#369 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 10:52 PM
 
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As for books, a PP posted that it is our responsibility to determine what the "best books" are

. . . Seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith. [D&C 88:78–79, 118]

That can be the tough thing... what are the best books.

And no aspersions on the LOA, but one of the way Satan tempts is to use some truth and a bunch of lies.

Remember we are told to study it out, reach a decision, then pray.
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#370 of 575 Old 03-19-2007, 10:54 PM
 
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What I heard is that she said that in heaven people made deals to abuse others in order to help them learn what they need to in this life. Is that what you understood her to be saying? I haven't read it and am just going off someone else's review, which has the potential of being like a game of "Telephone", lol
Yeah, telephones is always dangerous . What she says is that we need to learn forgiveness, that it is a godly trait and it's not an optional course. But in order to forgive, someone has to do something for you to fogive. Makes sense right? I mean we are all here without the rememberance of why and what our past was, so naturally we are going to fall short and do things that need to be forgiven. But what was weird is that she quoted a book called Coversations with God, which I dont' know anything about. But the part quoted is in the preexistence when someone wants to learn forgiveness and makes a pact with someone else to be on the receiving end of something "for you to forgive", and it was great because it benefitted both fogiver and forgivee. It just left me because it was so into the realm of speculation. We know so little of the preexistence, it seemed like discussing scripture instead of inventing scenarios would have been more appropriate. However, I do like what she has to say about birth, that it can start people's lives with struggle because it can be traumatic. I found myself pounding the table and saying "Exactly! that's why I need to give my children gentle births." FWIW, I don't think a difficult birth is a life-time sentence, because that would be pretty sad to have to start out that way. It just added fuel to my fire about what goes on at a "normal birth."
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#371 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 12:31 AM
 
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milk4two wrote:
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If something bad happens to me, and I dwell on it, and relive it over and over in my head - which I have a tendency to do - I'm stuck, I'm not going anywhere.
I think you this is true...sometimes. I think there are other times when we do need to "dwell" (for lack of a better word) on some of the things that happen to us that are negative...at least for awhile. Not forever of course! When we experience a very difficult or traumatic event in our lives, particularly involving loss, I think we need to do a certain amount of dwelling and honoring/exploring the emotions involved in order to really deal and heal from them. I thought and studied a lot about the concept of negative emotions when I was in therapy. (Because I was feeling a lot of negative emotions. ) I don't think we'd ever say that negative emotions are something we seek. But the reality is that we do face them. I think there are times when we can just turn them aside, focus on the positive, and go forward, and that's the best thing to do. But I think there are other times when that can backfire. Sometimes in our efforts to be cheerful, we can stuff our negative emotions inside. They can go underground where we don't have to admit that they are there. But they are still there, and can do significant damage. When we were ttc, I had the idea that it was bad to be angry, and the Lord wouldn't bless me if I was angry or ungrateful. Good LDS women didn't get angry when they had a trial...they cheerfully endured. So every day I tried to will myself to not be angry. Indeed I thought I wasn't angry. But I was angry...very, very, very angry. When I finally, with the help of a wonderful counselor, allowed myself to acknowledge and feel that anger and all the grief and loss that went with it, I started to get better. It wasn't immediate, because I had to experience those deep, dark feelings for awhile. But then I did heal from those feelings...by looking them right in the face and walking through them rather than trying to pretend they weren't there.

I do think that we can learn many good things in books, movies, etc.--good things that uplift us and that fit very well with gospel teachings. I have learned many good things from psychology that have helped me. Yet of course there are many untruths too. We have to be very discerning. I think the thing that is bothering me about the LofA is that it seems so faddish. The ideas sound good...as long as they are kept in balance and don't override other equally good insights. The insights encompassed in the LofA probably do have great potential to help people. But I see the LofA being treated as much, much more than a series of good insights on life. I see it being revered as THE GREAT SECRET OF LIFE. I see multiple threads here at mdc devoted to it as if its the be-all end-all of truth...people trying to fit all kinds of life experiences under its umbrella that in my mind don't really fit (like the C-section example).
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#372 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 02:09 AM
 
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Thank you for posting, Laurel. I always enjoy your posts because they're so sensitive & thoughtful & I'm almost always in agreement with you.
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#373 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 12:17 PM
 
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It's nice to see you back, LTB! I hope your ds feels better soon.
Thanks Brisen.

I'm hoping he is well enough by tonight : for me to go out. It is my birthday today. I am 24. We got a babysitter for DS1 and DH is coming home early tonight!!!

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#374 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY LTB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you have a great day!!!!!

It's my mom's birthday today, too. She is 44.

Serenity LDS mommy to 4 rambunctious kidlets
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#375 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 01:10 PM
 
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I went out of town for a few days, and you've written a tome in my absence!!!

Since I'll never catch up with all that has been said, I'm going to be a bit off topic...

I just watched an interesting show on MTV- it is a new one called "Engaged and under-aged" though most of the kids on it seem to be 17-22. The couple today were a 19yr old LDS girl and her 19yr old convert love- his Mom caused a lot of drama b/c she couldn't go to the temple for the wedding.

My step-dad (who I know better than my real dad) couldn't go, but he was very laid back about it. We explained why we go to the temple, and he said that he wouldn't ask me to miss out on any of those blessings... DH's g-ma was not so laid back... she feels not being invited is an attack, and she's heard a lot of anti stuff about the temple (i.e. we consummate in front of our friends and family in the temple... yeah, the most modest people ever are going to do it for a crowd?!)

Anyhoo, I was wondering if any of you had to deal with that when you got married/sealed...

~Valarie~

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#376 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 01:30 PM
 
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Anyhoo, I was wondering if any of you had to deal with that when you got married/sealed...

~Valarie~
My MIL is inactive. She was totally supportive of temple marriage and wanted us to have those blessings, even though she isn't so sure about her own feelings regarding her temple marriage. So sad really, as I think my FIL could be a general authority. Anyway, she was sad not to see it, but generally understanding. The drama was between me and DH. He wanted a very small ceremony, because he felt like every person invited was one more person who could be there when his own mother could not. Now, I understand that on some degree, but felt like it was totally her choice, and that her choice shouldn't lead us to exclude our friends, who have also been influencial in our development and our courtship. We ended up having a fairly large sealing, although part of that was because I left alot of the planning up to my mom, who invited some people I didn't actually want there. Whole nother rant, but anyway, that's what happened with us. Not too bad, but I really wish I could talk to MIL about her status. She says she doesn't want to shake our testimonies, so she doesn't talk about it much. Family secrets, I guess.
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#377 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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Both my parents and in-laws are active members, so all were present. My gramma was the only one who I really wanted there besides the parents, and she couldn't make it. She had just been released from the hospital a week or so before, and was still weak to drive. But she came to the reception, and she was happy. Mom invited some of her friends, and DH's parents invited their friends. We had no friends there as in our personal friends. All my friends were either not endowed members yet or had moved away to college (and this was the beginning of a semester), and DH's friends were either at college or still on missions. We had numerous friends including some of DH's missionary buddies, who were still on their mission, come to our reception, so it was cool.

BTW: I met DH while he had 3 months left on his mission. He was serving in my ward. I actually didn't even speak to him until he had about 2 weeks left. He never let on that he would like to come back to take me out. Funny thing is, he is from the SW corner of Arkansas, and he was called to the Texas San Antonio Mission, which in one part of the area he was serving was only 3 1/2 hrs from his home. I was living in a town north of Austin, Tx. The day he left to go home, he stopped by my parents house, and asked them if he could come back later and take me out. They said yes. I was like "whatever."

He did, and 4 months later we were married in the Dallas Temple.
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#378 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 02:55 PM
 
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LDSmommaof6, sorry I don't remember your name :P but I love your siggie.

I have officially jumped onto the Romney bandwagon BTW. He just had a birthday recently, too. Aren't March people great.

Well DH and I had a civil wedding first, since we were new members, so, we didn't have all of the issues mentioned above. However, we had some interesting issues-- my mom and dad had an ugly divorce many years ago which was really traumatic for my mom. She didn't attend the reception of my wedding because she couldn't handle being in the same place that my dad was, or especially watching me dance with my dad. She said she wouldn't be at the wedding if I had my dad walk me down the aisle, so I had my grandpa give me away instead. I felt so bad for my dad, telling him I had decided not to have him give me away was so so so hard, but he was pretty awful to my mom back then, so, I don't know, I guess that kind of conduct that my dad had been party to bears its own consequences, even many years later when a person has changed. It was just a tough situation, I guess, all around. My wedding day was so wonderful anyway. So that was good. I do wish my mom could have been there more.

My temple sealing was less than perfect because I was pregnant and so sick. It was the best I had felt all pregnancy and we couldn't wait any longer, as I was starting to get big enough that standing for too long made me feel like passing out (wasn't so healthy for that pregnancy, gained a lot of weight) so anyway it was a very tough experience that time. But being sealed to my dh was so important to me and left me with such a profound sense of peace, that it was a very exciting and joyful day.

I put some new photos in my siggie. I have to get some recent photos of dh now.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#379 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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well today I had an u/s. I keep bleeding. it's not bad or red, but this morning I wiped and it totally covered the toilet paper. I had to wear a pad. This is so annoying. I never have had bleeding with either my kids. Anyway, there's a baby in there with a very strong and fast hb. It was very cute watching the little arms and legs move. I didn't want to have to get one but with all the mc's I have been freaking out. Anyway, I feel reassured for now. I have my next appointment on the 11th of April

The great thing about it was they were in network. So one thing I don't have to pay for I was thinking maybe I could talk my midwife into letting me go there for my 20 week and she could just take the u/s off the bill. Anyway, I'm freaking out a bit about money. We're going to have to pay for this all out of pocket (the insurance might pay for 80% after my 1500 deductible) and we're buying a van. There's no way I'm putting all three in my car. It's just doesn't feel safe even though I can "squeeze" 3 in.

For my sealing my mom thought she could invite anyone she wanted. We had a 50 person room. This was the only thing we fought about. I personally don't have any close family who "couldn't" come, except my grandpa, but he could care less. Anyway, I took over who was able to come and that was that
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#380 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 04:26 PM
 
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There's no way I'm putting all three in my car. It's just doesn't feel safe even though I can "squeeze" 3 in.
Out of curiosity, why do you think it's not safe? It had better be safe, because that's what I'll be doing.
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#381 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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I don't think it would be any less safe than having 2 back there... The middle seat is the safest, so the one or two kids who have to sit right by the door will be less safe than the one in the middle, I guess. But as long as the seats fit in so that they can be properly buckled, there shouldn't be any safety concerns. Unless you have a kid who likes to poke or pile blankets on the baby. We had three in the back of our sedan until it died, and we decided to look for a used minivan, since we knew we would likely have another kid. The carseats fit in fine. I've had to fit three convertible seats in the backs of friends' cars when we were driving places together... that was sometimes a tight fit. Those cars were newer ones than our car was, though (new model leases vs. our early-90s model used car) and they were packed in tight, but all properly buckled.

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#382 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 04:53 PM
 
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I guess the fact that when I've put all 3 in the car they are squished up to each other and they aren't all in their seats. I have to move them around in the seats for them to even fit. Then I'm scared my one who is just in a booster seat would get squished. It's just my own paranoia. Oh and I hate that I have to slam the doors shut to get them to fit. I think if I had thinner car seats that were made to be three in a car, it would be better but my infant seat is a big bowl shape and they just won't work. I have a nissan altima.

Brisen I think that's the thing I'm most afraid of. the fact that they aren't in the proper part of the seat. they are just all three in there and not really where they should be. I really do have huge car seats and we're planning on having having another kid, so we would need to get a van anyway. We like to go on road trips and our car really wouldn't work. But I really am most afraid with the fact that when I put three car seats in they don't properly fit in the seats.
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#383 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 08:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have officially jumped onto the Romney bandwagon BTW.
Ugh! Can't stand him! Give me Barack Obama. DW's an Obamama and I'm an Obamapapa!

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I put some new photos in my siggie. I have to get some recent photos of dh now.
Your Bear Cub picture is GREAT!


We bought a dishwasher and it is sitting in our kitchen right now. DW is

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#384 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 08:44 PM
 
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Ugh! Can't stand him! Give me Barack Obama. DW's an Obamama and I'm an Obamapapa!
I'm not sure what I think about either of them Romney seems like either a big manipulator or flip-flopper, though I ackowledge that people can change their minds over time. Obama seems to just ignore the moral issues (abortion, gay marriage) that people have made into big issues. Though maybe that's the right way to go. The president of the U.S. really has very little influence over what we think of as moral issues, in my opinion.
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#385 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 08:50 PM
 
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I'm about ready to dh. I posted in the Toddlers forum about ds (almost 3 years old) scratching/hitting/biting at school. DHs solution was for me to ask the daycare to SPANK ds. I said they wouldn't do that, though I didn't really ask them. I am pretty sure dh wants me to spank ds if he continues this behavior. I kind of avoided the discussion, because dh is 1500 miles away and can't really do anything to enforce what he wants. I did send him an article about spanking though. He just called me and was quite upset, because "the article is biased", "spanking has worked for every other generation", "the non-spanking movement is a liberal invention", and on and on, ad nauseum. I didn't respond to any of his inane comments specifically, but I said "how can we even consider spanking in light of the Gospel?" His first response was "as soon as you start living the Gospel the way you're supposed to, we can talk about that" . I can't give dh any ultimatums (like "touch the kids and I'll leave") because I have not been gentle with them in the past. The difference is that I believe that physical punishment is wrong, and I am working on it. Dh insists that he will believe in spanking forever :
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#386 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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I'm about ready to dh. I posted in the Toddlers forum about ds (almost 3 years old) scratching/hitting/biting at school. DHs solution was for me to ask the daycare to SPANK ds. I said they wouldn't do that, though I didn't really ask them. I am pretty sure dh wants me to spank ds if he continues this behavior. I kind of avoided the discussion, because dh is 1500 miles away and can't really do anything to enforce what he wants. I did send him an article about spanking though. He just called me and was quite upset, because "the article is biased", "spanking has worked for every other generation", "the non-spanking movement is a liberal invention", and on and on, ad nauseum. I didn't respond to any of his inane comments specifically, but I said "how can we even consider spanking in light of the Gospel?" His first response was "as soon as you start living the Gospel the way you're supposed to, we can talk about that" . I can't give dh any ultimatums (like "touch the kids and I'll leave") because I have not been gentle with them in the past. The difference is that I believe that physical punishment is wrong, and I am working on it. Dh insists that he will believe in spanking forever :
he's come around to other things in the past, hasn't he? I'm sorry you feel divided.
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#387 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 09:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by klg47 View Post
Obama seems to just ignore the moral issues (abortion, gay marriage) that people have made into big issues.
That's just it... we can't legislate thing like abortion for example. If we make it illegal, we turn it into a crime and look how well that worked for prohibition in the '20s.
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#388 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 09:12 PM
 
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We can't get the stand-alone diashwasher to hook up to our faucet. I have a fully loaded, soaped up dishwasher ready to go. I am ever so pissed.
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#389 of 575 Old 03-20-2007, 11:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by quarteralien View Post
he's come around to other things in the past, hasn't he? I'm sorry you feel divided.
Yeah, he has homebirth, eating 'weird', not vaccinating (he still claims he wants to vaccinate, yet our 3 year old still has no vaccines), etc. Good to remember!
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#390 of 575 Old 03-21-2007, 01:11 AM
 
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NCD spent 20 minutes writing a response about spanking, but then thanks to our little hurricane, he lost it. I didn't get to read it all, but he thought this part was a dirty trick:

Quote:
His first response was "as soon as you start living the Gospel the way you're supposed to, we can talk about that"
I don't know you and your husband, but if NCD said that to me, he'd be sleeping at his sister's.
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