LoA March 11-17 - Page 27 - Mothering Forums

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#781 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted by catgirl View Post
Wow, this is great!! I can see how clear weekly intentions could be a really good thing - thanks for sharing!
yeah, i am definitely going to keep this up! now i'm off to write up my list of intentions for this week on the new thread!
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#782 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by KoalaMama View Post
Annikate... It's ok not to want to feel great about your mother. If you're coming from a place of disempowerment about that, then maybe you just need to be angry or frustrated for a while. Just reach for the feeling that feels like a relief from where you are/were, and then keep going with relief, going with relief, going with relief. That's answering the call of your inner being. No big jumps required!
You know I was talking w/my Inner Spririt last night about it and when I asked what I'm supposed to do to heal this relationship IS said, "Nothing. Heal yourself."

Funny, b/c I had doubts last night that it really was a message from IS yk? But now I know it was! What a relief!
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#783 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 09:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Annikate View Post
You know I was talking w/my Inner Spririt last night about it and when I asked what I'm supposed to do to heal this relationship IS said, "Nothing. Heal yourself."

Funny, b/c I had doubts last night that it really was a message from IS yk? But now I know it was! What a relief!
That IS of yours is so very wise, Terri. Sometimes this relationship stuff with mothers can be a real trip. I've gone through sooo many ups and downs with mine! But I think LoA has finally brought me to a good place on this particular topic. The 'proof' of that was when someone posted about how something was different for me because my mother was <insert whatever positive thing that was said here>. I realized that what I was putting out about her was finally really, really good if people were seeing that as my truth.

If you ever want to chat privately about Mom stuff just PM me.

Magical Mama, joyfully home educating my three wonders: FR (12/02), EG (05/05), DK (06/09)
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#784 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 10:09 AM
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X-Posted from the Secret thread...

Long time, no update, or even a chance to read posts! Since getting my dream job 2 weeks ago as a veterinary assistant, I am feeling alone, unsure, and very much not at ease. To make a long story short, I am mainly an assistant in surgery, monitering and adjusting anestethic is my main job, and it scares me to death. The people whom I am working for are very difficult people, and everyone in the office tells me they are short, rude at times, and it doesn't get any better. I have come home crying so many times because my feelings have been hurt. They say I am doing a good job, but they make me feel so stupid and incompetent. I am never sure if I am 'thisclose' to getting fired because they seem so unhappy with me at times. If I ask the dr a question that he feels I should know the answer to, he shakes his head and sighs, or tells me "havent you seen this before? what do you think?".

Yesterday I was trying to wrestle a dog (who weighes more than I do) and I was having a very hard time. I had left the door open assuming it would take only seconds to put the dog in the kennel, but I was wrong. As I was yelling and wrestling this dog, and he was barking and jumping at me, my boss screamed at me from the other room to shut the door, then a second later came in and slammed the door in my face. The other lady who has worked there for years shook her head at me and rolled her eyes, she has said to let it all roll off my back, but it totally hurts my feelings. I'm not used to being treated like dirt. I drove home, crying my eyes out.

They have said that I am too polite and nice. I need to not worry about offending people and try not to get offended myself. But thats just who I am. I get my feelings hurt easily. I cry easily.

I have tried to quit, and it seems like there are things telling me not to. I came to my boss with tears in my eyes last week, and asked to speak to him privately. He said he didnt have time (but he wasnt doing anything?) and I managed to have a pretty good day. Later on he called me into his office and said I was doing well, I just needed to stop being sensetive and overly polite.

There have been other things in which I have tried to go after that photography job. The lady never got my interview cancellation email, and the day that I was suposed to have my interview, the lady called and said she was sick, and gave me a number to call her back. That number doesn't work. I sent her an email, but apparently I sent it to the wrong place. The day I was going to go to the portrait studio and ask the employees for her number, I ended up working through lunch. And I just feel like I dont want to quit. I cry just thinking about it. But I am also so sick of feeling insecure, and so tired of these difficult and demanding people hurting my feelings all the time. I honestly do not know from one moment to the next if they will be pleased with me, or think I am stupid and incompetent.

Everyone is telling me to toughen up. My boss has told me I need tougher skin. I just want them to be nicer to me, but thats just how they are, with everyone. I feel like my dream is falling apart, and I am falling apart in the process. It feels like a cruel joke to finally get the job I have always wanted, but to be put in a position that scares me to death because the animal's life is literally in my hands, and my bosses are jerks the majority of the time. What could be the reasoning for this? What, if anything, am I suposed to learn from this? My job doesn't seem like such a blessing anymore.
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#785 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 10:30 AM
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Sounds like you have a clear desire to be in a job where you are treated respectfully and supportively! Trust that desire: don't waste any time second guessing yourself in that respect.

The reason you're feeling so awful about this is because it's in your nature to be treated respectfully and supportively, as according to your desire. You've got a lot of energy ready to work for you, to make it happen. In fact, it's ready to happen now. Take a deep breath. Relax and go with the flow of being treated respectfully and supportively. That is your nature and that's the reality you're choosing and that will shape the actions you're moved to and that's how it will be.
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#786 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by catgirl View Post
OK, I decided to follow Chasmyn's good example!

20 good things about my life now:
1) I have lots of interesting challenges
2) I’ve learned to stay more positive
3) I’m becoming a better parent
4) Dh and I have a much better relationship
5) I’m seeing the benefits of decluttering
6) I’m learning not to waste time
7) It’s making me much more conscious than I would be if everything had worked out by accident
8) I’m letting go of patterns that affected me for most of my life
9) I’m really having to think about what I want to do
10) I can’t lie to myself
11) I’m learning to be a better teacher
12) I’ve learned to cook
13) I’ve learned so much more about everything this way
14) I’ve been inspired to write a lot
15) I’ve started blogging
16) I’ve had to be really honest with myself
17) I’ve been reminded that there’s always more to learn
18) I’ve had to really examine my beliefs and spirituality
19) I’ve reconnected with friends like C, S and C
20) I’ve learned to move beyond envy and into action
21) I‘ve discovered the wonderful women of MDC
22) I’ve learned that it’s all good, because it’s all learning
23) I’ve had to step outside my box
24) My world has been greatly expanded

Wow. That was quick!
This is so wonderful I'm so happy you've shared your journey on this thread. I love seeing how far you've come in such a short period of time. You are doing some awesome stuff!!
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#787 of 787 Old 03-18-2007, 11:58 AM
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Ladies, jump on over to this week's LoA thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=636829


I have a blog.
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