April 15-21 Manifesting Mamas - Page 28 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#811 of 823 Old 04-22-2007, 01:34 AM
 
WuWei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the moment
Posts: 11,071
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mamadege,

It sounds like your daughter is a strong and opinionated young woman. She also sounds like she knows how to ask for what she needs and is interested in getting what she wants. These are powerful tools of self-awareness. Developing self-awareness and self-control is a life long journey. I agree with Maureen, that your daughter sounds like she is struggling for her independence, yet at the same time is calling for support. If you can find the space to trust that she is exactly where she needs to be and allow her the space to choose her path, she will be stronger and supported at the same time. It is hard to want to control the path for another. If you could find a place for trusting that this experience is unfolding exactly as it needs to for everyone's highest good, you will attract that positive energy toward yourselves. Trust.



Pat

I have a blog.
WuWei is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#812 of 823 Old 04-22-2007, 04:39 AM
 
*Devon*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: surrounded by Love
Posts: 2,065
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petersmamma View Post
Does anyone understand what I am trying to ask?
Ummmm... what I want to know is HOW did the conversation go from the extremely important discussion of MY love life to this philosophical nonsense? :

TOTALLY kidding, of course! It looks like this has already been discussed but I will just add my two cents, which lines up with what some of you have already said.

I believe we manifest not only consciously, but also unconsciously, through our "Inner Self". We may even set intentions for our life and death before we're even born. I think this is the problem a lot of people have with The Secret -- it makes it seem too simple. No, I don't believe that everyone who is killed or hurt consciously attracts it. What about kids who are abused? There is NO WAY they are all sending out vibrations to attract that. I think those situations are either lessons our soul needs to learn, or something our soul wants us to do. Does that make sense?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mariposita View Post
I'm having a hard time because I don't want to project my manifestation on him, but at the same time I wonder that since we're so connected if it would be okay. Does anyone have any thoughts that might help?

Oh and stirringleaf! Hope you and your little guy are doing well. We miss you!
I don't think it's a bad thing to try and manifest for both of you in this situation. I like Annikate's affirmations... I think just repeating one or a few of them to yourself will help.

You could also try gratitude, and then "pre-gratitude", I'm so grateful that ds and I are well rested! I am so happy that we are sleeping peacefully, etc etc

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadege5 View Post

i am heartbroken, worried, scared S H I-less
how does my baby dd hates me?
i want to crawl in a hole myself
I know it's no comfort when you're in the situation, but I guarantee you it WILL pass, and it WILL feel better soon. Teenagers are the worst It's just such a tumultuous time. My sister was awful at that age -- the cops came to our house more than once for various reasons. But she's much better now! (at 21)

Even though it doesn't seem like it, she DOES love you, and all you can do is just love love love her back, no matter how hard it seems when she is telling you terrible things.

Good night ladies, love to you all!
*Devon* is offline  
#813 of 823 Old 04-22-2007, 08:58 AM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I want to add something important to my comments to Petersmomma last night...

When we concenctrate on joy and happiness, that doesnt' mean we become selfish or lose our compassion. It doesn't mean we stop caring about people going through painful things, or stop caring in a judgemental way because they "brought it on themselves" or other judgemental phrases.


There are some people who feel "The Secret" is selfish because they say don't focus on the negative and I feel that's a misinterpretation but we are each entitled to our own opinion.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
#814 of 823 Old 04-22-2007, 11:19 AM
 
gilleoin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 196
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Devon* View Post
I know it's no comfort when you're in the situation, but I guarantee you it WILL pass, and it WILL feel better soon. Teenagers are the worst It's just such a tumultuous time. .......

Even though it doesn't seem like it, she DOES love you, and all you can do is just love love love her back, no matter how hard it seems when she is telling you terrible things.
This, mama.
gilleoin is offline  
#815 of 823 Old 04-22-2007, 11:52 AM
 
WuWei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the moment
Posts: 11,071
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
My focus is on peace and love and kindness and I love the idea that if enough of us stamp our foot and refuse to allow war to exist, it will stop.
See there is a difference between focusing on peace, love and kindness and "stamp our foot and refuse to allow". The first focuses on what we DO want, the second on what we Don't want. Where our attention goes, energy grows (as has been said). So, I focus on creating the peace, love, and kindness without a need to be "against" war. See the shift?


Quote:
Now, this brings another question, and this may be WAY outside the scope of this thread, and obviously, if any of you knew the answer to this (or at least could apply it), you would be a gazillionaire, but: what has happened to people who WANT to manifest bad things?
Again, I don't believe there are "good and bad". I trust that we are all motivated toward that which serves our highest Self. We act out of an attempt to meet a need. We are moving *toward* something that nourishes us. However, our culture has redirected our *Way* of doing that away from creating that which we desire, toward avoiding, destroying, eliminating that which we Don't want. Our energy is focused on being "against" what we Don't want, rather than "allowing" ourselves to receive what we DO want.

Quote:
We are all good, we are definitely born that way. Of course, some people experience bad things and are unable to handle those events with love and grace, but not all. Also, I can't believe that someone is choosing to come to this world with the intent to do others harm. So what happens?
I agree that we are born "allowing" and open to receiving that which we Do want. We have the choice of being "against" or "open" to the experiences of life. We learn how to react from our cultural models, especially from our parents and teachers (and religion) based upon their beliefs. But, we always have the ability to choose to be open to receiving the joy of life. Or, we can choose to be "against" any number of things, philosophies, religions, political systems, behaviors, etc. (It seems tempting to be against some "IMPORTANT" moral absolutes. But, again, see how this energy is "against" focusing on creating shared, common goals?)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Momtwice View Post
I want to add something important to my comments to Petersmomma last night...

When we concentrate on joy and happiness, that doesn't mean we become selfish or lose our compassion. It doesn't mean we stop caring about people going through painful things, or stop caring in a judgmental way because they "brought it on themselves" or other judgmental phrases.

There are some people who feel "The Secret" is selfish because they say don't focus on the negative and I feel that's a misinterpretation but we are each entitled to our own opinion.
I believe that we always have a choice of how we react or interpret or "judge" a situation. If we judge it good or bad, our culture tends to be "against" that which is bad. So, by embracing all experiences for how it does nourish our highest Self, we no longer need to be "against" anything. We can always choose that which we are moving toward, and open to receiving, and then it can manifest. Where our attention goes, our energy goes. (isn't that MCAL's boyfriend's quote? )



Pat

I have a blog.
WuWei is offline  
#816 of 823 Old 04-22-2007, 01:20 PM
 
WuWei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the moment
Posts: 11,071
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Everyone is playing over here on this week's new thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=659642

Pat

I have a blog.
WuWei is offline  
#817 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:45 AM
 
ebony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amris View Post
Well, the thing is, being financially successful is not everyone's idea of success. Obviously, it's not YOUR idea of success, in particular. So for you to say "I was successful before I got here" doesn't mean as much as if you came from a place where you could say, "I was on track towards my dreams before, and still am."

If money were your dream, I'd say you have no fear of success, but I think we both agree it's not. You could well have had that financially secure job to AVOID becoming successful at what you really wanted to do.

Now, please please forgive me if this is offensive. What else I see here is that you feel like, in particular, for a woman of color to be successful, it has to be in the arena of money. That women of color have a special burden to show OTHERS that they are successful, in a measurable way.

This is what I get from the sense you gave that other people are making negative insinuations (or perhaps bald statements) about colored women in poverty.

So, rather than stand up against this discrimination and unjust attitude, you tell yourself (and invite others to tell you) to just keep silent. To be quiet, because your success in this new arena, where you are unsure of yourself, is dependent upon someone who doesn't like you.

And what I meant by you noticing is that, if she were not in some way "hitting home" with something she is saying (the mirror again), you'd be much more prone to basically walk away going, "What's her deal? She get up on the wrong side of the rug? (little Geico joke there, sorry)."

It seems like in that particular facility, there is a lot of power wrapped up in the belief of money = status = success.

Of course, I am only going off of a very small picture here, so these are just the thoughts I'm having as I read what you're saying.

But I think, at the end of the day, none of that is really what feels important. Wouldn't you say that it's more important to find some affirmations and visualizations that will get you past this, without a need to delve into it any further than it takes to forge on ahead?

"I am so happy and grateful that there is such tremendous peace and harmony at < work >."

"I am so happy and grateful that I find work fun and wonderful."

"I am successful every day, in every way. I am so happy to see women and children benefit from my work."
Thank you for the affirmations Amris!

No, financial success is not my idea of complete "success." I was not on the path to my dreams so you are right in pointing that out.

But, I also don't care what other people think is success. I don't feel a burden to show financial success because I'm a woman of color, otherwise I would have stayed at my other job, yk?

I'm also able to overlook people's bad moods and I know how to not take things personally. The thing here is that my boss' bad moods don't seem to be taken out on anyone else but me, which makes me feel like it's personal. I will continue to give thought to what you have said about the mirror...

On a happier note, the business meeting went pretty well I wrote a few affirmations before it, and while I was on the train en route, and I'm happy to say that I believe they worked, as I didn't feel any tension and I feel like I made a couple of important connections with the "powers that be" who seemed very interested in our work. As a matter of fact, one of them approached me after the meeting to talk more about her experiences as a mom and the work I'm doing so I'm really looking forward to creating some valuable relationships as a result.
ebony is offline  
#818 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:49 AM
 
ebony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sphinxie View Post
Welcome ebony

Something that I like is to ask "What is my ultimate desire here? How do I want to feel?"

Then focus on the answer. Write affirmations about it. Experience it as if it's happening now. Lo and behold, it starts to actually happen.

Another approach is to say "With this situation, I know what I don't want. What does this tell me about what I do want?"

Then again, focus on the answer, write affirmations about it, etc, same as above!

Sometimes struggle comes up because we're resisting what-is. Trouble is, in our resistance, we're still focusing on it and unable to vibrationally be open to recieving what we would prefer. So sometimes we have to accept the what-is as just what-is, so that we can focus on something else that makes us feel even better.

Another technique is to move up the vibrational scale. Sometimes the best thing is, for example, to move from pissed to irritated, and from irritated to bored.

And another thing to focus on is appreciation, getting into a place of appreciation for the good things, which opens the way for more good things to come through!



Wow, what an interesting thought.
Thank you Sphinxie

Thank you for your thoughts. I really like the vibrational scale, as I started to do that but didn't know it was called that I've really adopted the habit of writing my affirmations as if everything is already happening or has happened and I really like that method.

It reminds me of something my grandmother used to tell me, which I didn't practice too much because she was SUPER religious and I wasn't so I think I just didn't pay attention because of that. But she would always say, "Don't just pray for what you want. Thank God for what He is going to do, because He is going to do it. Just start thanking Him knowing it will be done." Thanks Grandma!
ebony is offline  
#819 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:52 AM
 
ebony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
Hello Ebony! :Hola

I don't have any advice, BUT my DH recently went through something similar and then he was offered another job out of the blue. He wouldn't have been open to the other job if his old boss hadn't turned into a complete jerk, and this new job is better for our whole family, so I think it is possible that some how this will work out for your best, even though it is very hard to see how that is possible right now.

Thanks for the welcome Linda!

I was thinking that too, but also thinking, "I don't want to change to another job again!" You see, I had a long bout of unemployment which ended a year ago and it's not that I would go back to that in the above scenario, because I would be offered another job, but it's just the instability, yk? But, as I always say, I want what is best for me
ebony is offline  
#820 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:53 AM
 
ebony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ShannonCC, Zannalyn and MsChatsAlot, THANK YOU for the welcome!! I'm so happy to be here with you all!
ebony is offline  
#821 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:55 AM
 
ebony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petersmamma View Post
Welcome Ebony and Andrea!
Thank you and welcome to Andrea!!!
ebony is offline  
#822 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:55 AM
 
sphinxie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sphinxie is offline  
#823 of 823 Old 04-24-2007, 10:57 AM
 
ebony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadege5 View Post
no one here

long story: my dd (17) called 911 because she was going to kill herself, driving her car, we thought she had slept over at bf house and dh was on the way there since we couldn't reach them by phone, at 7am yesterday i got a call from the psych unit at hospital, she'd been there since 3am, bf was w/ her
she hates us(dh&i)
she wants to move out
the dr rec'd her to therapy, she has an appt tues, evidently she has sought treatment before, and is on meds (prozac) (f-ing hipaa laws, i dont know ANY of this)
we took her car keys and she spent the day w/bf, slept over (he lives w/ his nana btw)
she came home this am, went to work as usual i saw her this afternoon, seemed fine
tonight bf went to some other friends and she insisted on driving to another friends house...or she was walking/ or riding her bike (9:30pm)

i am heartbroken, worried, scared S H I-less
how does my baby dd hates me?
i want to crawl in a hole myself
Oh mama. I just don't know what to say except
ebony is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off