LDS Mamas and Papas #43 - Page 17 - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-02-2007, 04:56 PM
 
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Also, we've brought DS to church activities in a black skull and crossbones onesie. So maybe we're not crunchy so much as young punks still pretending we're young. Hot Topics store, anyone? Because that's where we bought that onesie. And we felt like icky old people getting odd stares from the young people.
i love it! have you ever been to lilpunks.com or something like that? since Lily ever pregnancy we have gone there eyeing onesies like that and their kilts. man we want a boy just to put him in a mini kilt!

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-02-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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i love it! have you ever been to lilpunks.com or something like that? since Lily ever pregnancy we have gone there eyeing onesies like that and their kilts. man we want a boy just to put him in a mini kilt!
Oh, oh! We already had NCD's sister ask that he not wear his sponge bob square pants tie to her wedding in September like he did to his borther's weddig. We should totally have Connor in a mini kilt for the wedding! Hahahahahahaa!!! Also, I told Bryan he shoud wear whatever d#$! tie he wants to. I already told his mom last time that she should just be proud he could go through the temple, since the bride's brother couldn't. A tie is a minor thing.

My step-brother wore a tuxedo top and shorts to my wedding and I thought it was awesome.

Anyway - oh yes I want a mini kilt. That's too awesome. Especially since NCD's family has a Scotch-Irish heritage.
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Old 08-02-2007, 05:07 PM
 
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wrong site! it's luckylildevil.com

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-02-2007, 05:15 PM
 
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As for looking "crunchy" this is us ... you tell me.

(Though I have lost quite a bit of weight from when that that photo was taken )

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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Old 08-02-2007, 05:31 PM
 
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Okay, newly edited version. Thank you Ras for the tips! They helped. I did kind of organize and group like rights together, but in a fluid way. I think.

And Katie, this has been an eye-opening exercise for me too, because I do not always remember to parent this way. I think having it on the wall and reading it frequently will make a big difference.

So I got it down to two pages. I may need it to be even smaller though but I'm going to try to make this work. Feel free to continue offering any suggestions or share your own family bill of rights!

BTW I removed the last one-- "right to be happy"-- because I believe being happy isn't a right, it is a choice and a consequence of right living. However, for little ones (under 8), they live righteously naturally, and so they ought to have the right to happiness. I think. But in that case it would follow with everything else, so it's kind of superfluous to state it seperately.

Anyway.

*******************************************

Our Family’s Bill of Rights

These rights apply equally to all adults and children within our household


Each of us is a spirit child of Heavenly Father, and as such, each of us is equally entitled to dignity, respect, and free agency.

Each of us has the right to make our own choices, and to recognize and follow our own personal value system and spiritual beliefs, as long as we treat other with respect, dignity, and honor their free agency.

Each of us has the right to enjoy and control our own bodies as we see fit, as long as we treat other with respect, dignity, and honor their free agency.

Each of us has the right to give and receive unconditional love, and to enjoy a safe and non-abusive environment at all times.

Each of us has a right to be uniquely ourselves, and to make mistakes, without being shamed or made to feel that we are not good enough.

Each of us has the right to our own personal space and time, when and as we need it.

Each of us has the right to say NO to anything if we don’t feel ready, if we feel unsafe, or if we feel that something violates our conscience.

Each of us has the right to change our mind at any time. Each of us has the right to change and grow.
Each of us has the right NOT to be held responsible for other people’s choices.

Each of us has a right to have our needs and wants fully respected by the other members in our family.

Each of us has a right to all of our feelings, all of the time. Each of us has the right to grieve at any time, and each of us has a right to feel frustrated or angry at any time.

Each of us has a right to express ourselves, as long as we do so as gently and thoughtfully as we know how.

Each of us has a right to expect honesty from the other members of the family.

Each of us has the right to terminate conversations for any reason.

Each of us has the right to forgive ourselves and to forgive others. Each child in our family has a right to forgiveness from their parents.

Each of us has the right to enjoy humor and playfulness, as long as it is not at the expense of another spirit.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-02-2007, 05:35 PM
 
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removed the last one-- "right to be happy"-- because I believe being happy isn't a right, it is a choice and a consequence of right living
i like that!

so what do you plan on doing with this? are you going to have it on display in your home?

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-02-2007, 07:15 PM
 
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I don't know if I look crunchy, but I certainly get a lot of strange looks when I go to church. lol I think it's the lip ring and the tattoos that throw everyone off. But I do wear skirts about 90% of the time and REALLY want some dreads if I can find anyone to do them for me.

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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Old 08-02-2007, 07:55 PM
 
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Looks great LTB. I'm glad I could help.

Ahh dreads, I wish I was brave enough. Maybe I should just go for it. But then I sometimes contemplate wacking all my hair off just to not have to fuss with it. But, bright purple dreads, or blue. That would be utterly cool!
Here, I posted a picture of me as now.
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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Ahh dreads, I wish I was brave enough. Maybe I should just go for it. But then I sometimes contemplate wacking all my hair off just to not have to fuss with it. But, bright purple dreads, or blue. That would be utterly cool!
Here, I posted a picture of me as now.
Looking good! I'm totally biased, but I'd keep growing it out if I were you. I spend less time on my hair than the vast majority of my short haired friends do on theirs. But that's just me, and with as hot and humid as it's been here lately, I can understand people who want to hack theirs off.
A couple of months ago, our ward boundaries were redrawn and we absorbed half of a dissolved ward. So since there were new people, I got to introduce myself as GD teacher. I told them my favorite NT scripture is 1 Cor 11:15 "But if a woman have long hair it is a glory to her." That got attention. I'm sure most of my class thinks I'm totally sarcastic and flippant. Oh well.
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:13 PM
 
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with as hot and humid as it's been here lately, I can understand people who want to hack theirs off.
That's what hairtoy addictions are for! I just got my first wooden hairstick and a Flexi-8.
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:25 PM
 
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I told them my favorite NT scripture is 1 Cor 11:15 "But if a woman have long hair it is a glory to her." That got attention. I'm sure most of my class thinks I'm totally sarcastic and flippant. Oh well.
So why is that your favorite verse? I'm interested in this.

I used to understand that verse to mean, we're supposed to have long hair, and then I realized, duh the church's top female leaders and leader's wives often have short hair. So I figured it must be fine to have short hair. Then I figured it must have been a cultural thing-- we aren't supposed to wear things that would be shocking to the culture we are a part of (unless modesty is deemed to be shocking ), or try to look like a man, and short hair on a woman would have been shocking at the time and was definitely a man's hairstyle back then. Or maybe Paul was refering to the fact that women's hair naturally grows longer than men's hair does. I don't know. That's why I was curious what your thoughts were. :

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-02-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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oh! this is so pathedic but that picture of you made me teary eyed. you look (from that angle anyways) exactly like my best friends mom who i haven't seen in a few years. she is like a mother to me. she is the mom i want to be! she has dark hair that is white at the top but you have the same body type and everything. i hadn't realized how much i missed her until i saw this picture and felt a jab in my heart.

as for dreads, i could pull them off as looking somewhat natural for me. my hair is already way curly. it wouldn't be a leap! i'm just worried it's a no no in the church.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:41 PM
 
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here to help you understand what i mean about my hair i'll jump on the "picture of me" bandwagon.

ETA- that was only a few weeks after giving birth to Olive so i have lost about 20lbs since then!

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-02-2007, 08:55 PM
 
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So why is that your favorite verse? I'm interested in this.
I was being a bit flippant with my class when I said that was my favorite scripture. I actually think my favorite NT scripture is "the whole hath no need of a physician, but they that are sick."

As far as the long/short hairstyles in Paul's day, the rest of that scripture says the hair is given her for a covering. Women were always covered up in that society. It was part of their regular dress. I learned in a NT class at BYU that covering the woman, in the form of a veil or head covering, was a symbol of the woman's hidden power. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, I guess if you have your own covering in the form of your hair, then that is better than needing an artificial one. But I'm pretty sure every woman, regardless of hair length, was covered, so I dont' know if that's really the reason. Just speculating, which is always dangerous.
I like your assessment that representatives of the church aren't a total culture shock. It reminds me of the pictures of the missionaries who wear lava lavas (sp?) along with their white shirts and ties.
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Old 08-02-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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hello everyone. I just found this thread and thought I would introduce myself. My name is Alisha Breithaupt. I am a SAHM to my 2 energetic boys and pregnant with #3 near the begining of Nov. I have been married to my DH for almost 6 years. We moved to Gresham, Oregon from Hillsboro, Oregon about 10 months ago. We have been rather inactive since moving because I find our ward to be rather unfriendly. Our third week there I was nursing my just over 1 year old son in the mothers lounge and was asked to leave, because it was pretty crowded and the lady who asked me to leave said that my son was way too old to really need the milk and I should make room for the babies that really needed to nurse.: So we have been back for only sacrement since then and only a few times.

I really like the family bill of rights, very cool idea.

oAlisha- eternal companion to mike:, mother to three energetic boys (02):, (05), and (07) and one sweet little girl 3/13.  Two in heaven.7/21/2010, 11/05/2011 mecry.gif.

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Old 08-03-2007, 12:20 AM
 
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Our third week there I was nursing my just over 1 year old son in the mothers lounge and was asked to leave, because it was pretty crowded and the lady who asked me to leave said that my son was way too old to really need the milk and I should make room for the babies that really needed to nurse.
Holy If I were you I would have told that to take her and shove it up her ... but that's me, and I'm just a Daddy, not a nursing Mommy ... but I can tell you that my DW would tell you the same.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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Old 08-03-2007, 12:32 AM
 
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Alisha, that's an awful thing to say to another mom, I'm so sorry! The snarky side of me says just go back and nurse him in meetings then. If anyone says anything, let them know you're leaving the mother's lounge for younger babies.

Anyway, welcome to the thread.
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:48 AM
 
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hello everyone. I just found this thread and thought I would introduce myself. My name is Alisha Breithaupt. I am a SAHM to my 2 energetic boys and pregnant with #3 near the begining of Nov. I have been married to my DH for almost 6 years. We moved to Gresham, Oregon from Hillsboro, Oregon about 10 months ago. We have been rather inactive since moving because I find our ward to be rather unfriendly. Our third week there I was nursing my just over 1 year old son in the mothers lounge and was asked to leave, because it was pretty crowded and the lady who asked me to leave said that my son was way too old to really need the milk and I should make room for the babies that really needed to nurse.: So we have been back for only sacrement since then and only a few times.

I really like the family bill of rights, very cool idea.
Don't let other people be the reason you miss out at church. People are stupid wherever you go, every religion, every congregation, there's someone you want to smack. Just tell yourself it's not about them, and whenever that mama goes to the nursing lounge, follow her and whip it out. :

Here's the latest picture of NewCrunchyDaddy and our son. And here's me.

He's right, BTW, I would have told that mama to bite me. If I was feeling nice, I would have just kept it to a lecture about how the toddler's nervous system is not done developing until 2 years old and so he needs my milk just as much as a newborn, so, pick a spot on the floor and join the party.

Welcome to the thread, by the way.
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:49 AM
 
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By the way, Alisha, we're due around the same time!
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:50 AM
 
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Wow, I think it's great that you guys all have so many moms nursing in your churches! People talking about the mother's room being social hour and whatnot...I've never seen anybody breastfeed at church and when I do go to the mother's room, I'm the only one there. I can't imagine a place being so full people are being asked to leave! I'd have to stay just to revel in all the women nursing!

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:54 AM
 
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wrong site! it's luckylildevil.com
OK, if we have a girl, we are SO getting the frou frou tutu dress with a girly skull. NCD loved it the moment he saw it. And I'm definitely getting a kilt for DS for the wedding. We'll post pictures.
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Old 08-03-2007, 02:44 AM
 
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Thank you everyone for the great welcome. It really isn't that there are tons of BF moms in our ward it is that the mothers lounge is the size of a large broom closet. It has one rocking chair and two of the little metal folding chairs. It does not even have room for diaper changes or a sink that I have seen in some of them. You have to go next door to the bathroom to change diapers. I don't know that this is as much what is keeping us from going to church more, I think we just mostly find it to be a convinent excuse. But at the time it really hurt, at the time I was just so shocked that anyone would be that rude that I could not think of anything to say.
On a different topic. I love getting my kids clothes from Hot Topics and other "weird" places. My SIL got my son some Harley Davidson onesies when he was born and I think they are so cute. She also found us a onesie from somewhere that says "My persian is smarter then your honor student"

oAlisha- eternal companion to mike:, mother to three energetic boys (02):, (05), and (07) and one sweet little girl 3/13.  Two in heaven.7/21/2010, 11/05/2011 mecry.gif.

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Old 08-03-2007, 11:32 AM
 
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lol Where exactly in VA are you? I'd love to have a crunchy LDS mama to hang out with.
I live in the southwestern part. A little more south and western than Roanoke. Are you in VA?
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Old 08-03-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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does anyone "look" stereo typical of a crunchy mama?
I look pretty average, unless I've got the baby in a sling or wrap.

The same other mom that nursed her toddler and used cloth diapers would also bring her babies in to church in a sling instead of a car seat. She and I were the only two that didn't tote our babies around in the car seat all day. Since she's moved, I guess it's just me! I'm also the only homeschooling mom, now that the other family homeschooling has graduated their son and he's on a mission. I get all sorts of different(and sometimes funny) comments about that.
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Old 08-03-2007, 11:43 AM
 
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it is that the mothers lounge is the size of a large broom closet
That sounds a lot like ours. We have room for one chair and they squeeze a couple folding chairs in there, even though there isn't really room for them. We do have a counter at the other side with a sink, so that is nice. We have spurts where there are a lot of babies born. What they do when the baby-wave hits is take over a small classroom close by to use as a nursing room. The very sad thing is that a few months later, it's no longer needed.
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:09 PM
 
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Alisha, that is horrid. I dunno, I've just had this impression that the eastside is not generally as crunchy as the westside. Is this true? I've got a fairly crunchy ward down here in Newberg, so I'm lucky. I still want to move to Beaverton or Tigard though.
Anyway, Welcome!
Alisa, I love the pictures! You have a great belly. Dh wants me to get pg again partly because he thinks I'm so hot when I'm big and round. That and I think it may have something to do with the fact that I actually get breasts for a couple of years. I'm just big enough to fit into some A cups. So I never bother with bras. Hmm, I guess that would sorta put me in the crunchy category to huh?
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:17 PM
 
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: Ancoda



Holy If I were you I would have told that to take her and shove it up her ... but that's me, and I'm just a Daddy, not a nursing Mommy ... but I can tell you that my DW would tell you the same.
:

I am livid for you, if that helps. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Try to remember that we go to church as we are able to show our dedication and service to God, because it is what He asks of us, not necesarily for the other people who are there. But I can certainly understand staying away from such a hostile environment. What a disappointment. I wonder if you have been brought to that ward for a reason, though-- perhaps some other tender soul who is feeling abused as well, and could use your companionship? Just speculation.

Well I'm glad you found our thread! Sometimes I imagine how cool it would be if we were all in one ward! Lol! Enrichment Night would rock.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-03-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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So I never bother with bras. Hmm, I guess that would sorta put me in the crunchy category to huh?
:

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-03-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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And just one more post for the heck of it because . . .



It's my 2000th post! Yay yay ra-ra-ra!!!!


:




This message has been approved by me.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-03-2007, 12:47 PM
 
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: : : : : : :nana:

Good Job Caitlin! Ds put in lots of smilies for you!
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