Churches that teach prayer to God, not Jesus? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am having a huge problem right now. I am a recent convert to Islam. My dh is not Muslim, and will not even consider it, will not accept it, will not read the texts and try to understand...nothing. He refuses to let me take my kids to the masjid and learn about Islam, so I basically have to teach them at home behind his back, which sucks. Now though, he is really pressuring me to bring them to church, but I am not a Christian and I do not want my kids to worship Jesus(pbuh), as the son of God, I just simply cannot teach that to my children when I feel that it is so contradictory to what I believe. I would be open to taking them to a church that teaches from the Bible, because I do feel that the Bible is a very important spiritual book and most of it goes along with my beliefs, but I do not want my children praying to Jesus (pbuh), but is there such a place? Is there a christian church that actually prays to God, the almighty, and not Jesus(pbuh)? I know the whole basis of Christianity is the he was the son of God, but is there a church that doesn't actually pray to Jesus? Thanks!
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#2 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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I'm confused as to what "pray to Jesus" even means.

I think you would have to find a church that doens't believe in the trinity. Sinc it would make Jesus and God the same.

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#3 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, that's basically it. I don't want them taught about the trinity because I belive that God has no partners and God is one. I was raised Christian, both baptist and Catholic, and we were always taught to pray to Jesus, or in Jesus' name. I do not want my kids taught that because it goes against my believes, but I am pretty sure it is the backbone of most churches. I would be okay with a church that teaches the Bible, but I would really like to find something that teaches more from the old testament than the new. DH keeps telling me there are Christian churches like that out there, but I have never in my life heard of one.
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#4 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 04:22 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I am no help. But if you are up for it I would love to hear what lead you to convert to Islam!
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#5 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 04:23 PM
 
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I don't know much about various Christian sects, but I do know this type of conflict is common when one spouse converts, so I just wanted to say hang in there and be careful about appearing forceful, because it will just make him push back harder. Please x-post over at UM if you want as well.
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#6 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 04:30 PM
 
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Do you have the option of taking the family to a Unitarian Universalist church? They don't teach dogma/doctrine, but they will almost certainly be welcoming and respectful to those from different paths, and I don't believe they do congregational prayer in the way most Christian churches do. I'm going by memory as I haven't been in a UU church in at least 10 years, so any UUs please forgive if I miss the mark in any way.
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#7 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 04:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Am,
I am about to go to my mom's house for a big family dinner, but later tonight I think I am going to post the whole, long story over there. I want to call the sister I have been talking to IRL and tell her about it, but I think I am gonna tell you all first instead, it is really starting to tear us apart. I am not asking him to do anything but accept that it is my religion now, and he just absolutely refuses. I am trying really hard to not even engage him about religion, and I am trying to be accomodating to his beliefs, but he is constantly bringing it up. The funny thing is I never even brought the kids to church before converting to Islam and now he is mad because I am not taking them every Sunday. I am praying like crazy that things work out, I don't know what else to do. (oops, didn't mean for this to be so long)
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#8 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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((HUGS)) Take care sis. This is a test and inshaAllah you'll get through it all right.

I know of one brother whose (Christian) family never cared that he considered himself an atheist, thought church was a waste of time, but FREAKED when he became Muslim. It's a common story. In fact, my own mother was much like that herself when I converted...I hadn't been to mass in 8 years and neither had she! But she really had a hard time with my converting.

This too shall pass.
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#9 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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The LDS (Mormon) faith teaches to only pray to God, that while there is a trinity of sorts, but they are three separate beings, with God the father being the only one God we worship and to whom we pray.

However, it seems to me that you have found a faith that speaks to your soul and a husband should not deny his wife that beautiful right.

Perhaps if you explained to him the similarities between Islam and Christianity, then the two of you together can agree to teach those things to your children?
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#10 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 07:06 PM
 
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I am a Christian. I have attended many churches (denominations). I agree that most of them do teach to end your prayer in Jesus Name, because Jesus intercedes on our behalf with the Father. However, though some direct their prayer to Jesus at times, I think most of us are praying directly to God. I have attended a UU church before, and there seemed to be no pressure for it at all there. That might be your best bet. Plus, they teach a little about all religions, so they would get a bit of Islam too. Right now, we are attending a Baptist affiliated church, that is conservatively Bible driven in beliefs (not necessarily in politics) and sometimes they end prayer with just Amen.

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#11 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 07:35 PM
 
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I'd highly recommend a Unitarian Universalist church. You might even want to try more than one, until you find one that "fits". Some are more Christian, some less so. But even the more Christian ones are NOT Trinitarians - they are Universalists.

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#12 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 09:12 PM
 
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I'm going to suggest UU also. When I have been ( I'm not a member or anything) they generally use the term God and while Jesus is occasionally mentioned he isn't seen as being a required intermediary. At least not in my experience with the UU church.
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#13 of 39 Old 07-07-2007, 11:05 PM
 
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this is kinda off topic but I noticed you said your dh wants you to take them to church and he i mad because yu are bnot going to church. Why doesn't he take them to church? Would you be oposed top him teaching them about his faith while you teach them about yours?
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#14 of 39 Old 07-08-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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Would you be oposed top him teaching them about his faith while you teach them about yours?
I think this sounds like an excellent compromise. Would your dh agree to this?

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#15 of 39 Old 07-08-2007, 12:32 AM
 
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I'm also confused as to why he wants you (a muslim) to take the kids to a church. Why doesn't he take them? Is this a way to try and get you to go to a church and perhaps leave Islam?
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#16 of 39 Old 07-08-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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Try a UU church. My dh and I have very different spiritual backgrounds and upbringings and that church works well for us.They even did a unit on Islam last year for the youth religious education program!

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#17 of 39 Old 07-08-2007, 03:38 AM
 
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What are the children's opinions/feelings about this... Do they want to go to a Christian church, or a Mosque?

Please don't misunderstand me, it's not my intention to offend. But I do wonder about the childs ability to choose their own spiritual path.

Peace
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#18 of 39 Old 07-08-2007, 10:23 AM
 
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Salaams, Jennifer . Inshallah this will all work out beautifully soon. God tests all of us, and this is your first real test as a new Muslim, it looks like. Please be strong in your faith

I think the issue here is not really church at all, but a more fundamental and personal thing between you and your dh. It sounds like the focus on attending church is just a proxy, something convenient that he's latched on to to try to further articulate his disapproval of your acceptance of Islam. Don't feel like you just have to bow to him, though---though Islam does teach that we should often listen to our husbands, if they have not accepted Islam and are pushing haram things (ie, praying to Jesus), that impetus is gone. These are your children too, and he does not get to decide their spiritual upbringings for himself. Do you have an imam or other knowledgeable Muslim locally that you can discuss these things with?

I think you need to address the root concerns that are making him push the church stuff, but to answer your question, as a Muslim, the only "chuch" I would feel at all remotely comfortable sending my dc to is a Unitarian Universalist church. We went to one several times before becoming Muslim, and it is more like a ethical fellowship than anything else. It really is friendly to many faiths and, to my understanding, would not teach your dc things antithetical to the Muslim perspective and way of life. Of course, a masjid/mosque/Islamic Center would be preferable.

Stay strong, sister :
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#19 of 39 Old 07-09-2007, 09:18 AM
 
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Summertime, I think it is quite common for a partner to feel defensive and threatened when the other partner finds a spiritual home that is different than theirs, even when they never expressed any religious sentiment at all up to that point. I experienced (and am still experiencing) that when I returned to Christianity after a decade of "searching" (my dh is Muslim). Be patient--when your dh sees the positive affects of your conversion on your life, he will most likely feel more comfortable. I found that it doesn't do any good to explain your faith or why you've chosen it--for my dh, it just made him more suspicious of it. Just live your faith, and wait for him to ask questions.

Some thoughts: Do you have to take your dc to any place of worship? We generally don't, except on the two Eids, and sometimes Christmas or Easter. Our dc are very young, so we can get away with focusing on ethical behavior and haven't had to deal with too many theological questions yet! One of the wonderful things about Islam is that it is mostly about the practice--praying salaat, fasting during Ramadan. If you never set foot in a mosque, you can still be a good Muslim. I understand that as a recent revert, you probably want community support. Perhaps you could go by yourself to activities at the mosque, or find support with an online community. Mabruk on your reversion!
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#20 of 39 Old 07-09-2007, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really get the feeling dh is doing this just to make things more difficult for me. I hate that but it is true. He never cared before whether I took the kids to church or not. The kids don't really have an opinion either way. I know that my dsd wants to follow me in faith, but dh would never allow it, he is too afraid of what his ex wife would think. I just really don't know what to do.
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#21 of 39 Old 07-09-2007, 05:19 PM
 
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SM, could you talk to the imam at your masjid, or another knowledgeable Muslim? It would be best if it were someone born here, since they'd be more likely to be understand the cultural context and interfaith stuff. In the big picture of your marriage, this is pretty important, and not really something to be taking advice over the internet about.
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#22 of 39 Old 07-09-2007, 05:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know the internet isn't the best place to get advice, or to give personal info like this, but right now, I just don't really feel comfortable talking to anyone IRL about it all. I feel like I am in this awkward place where the people I used to talk to about everything don't understand/accept my beliefs and won't be supportive, but I don't really know anyone in the Muslim community well enough to feel comfortable talking to them either I still kind of feel like an outsider among them, but if I don't talk about it, I start dwelling on it, and that is no good either.
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#23 of 39 Old 07-09-2007, 08:18 PM
 
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Berean Bible Students do not believe in the Trinity. They believe that God & Jesus are separate, and that Jesus is not a deity. I was one for 18 years...I should know.

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#24 of 39 Old 07-12-2007, 04:25 AM
 
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Jehovah's Witnesses also do not believe in the Trinity. They believe that God is the Almighty and prayers should be directed to Him.

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#25 of 39 Old 07-12-2007, 12:07 PM
 
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HI Jennifer, Assalamu Alaikum:

Mabrook on your reversion! I totally understand what you're going through, as I went through a similar thing with my family. I totally second the recommendation of a UU church! I've actually attended one from time to time wearing hijab and haven't had any issues. They have a good religious education program there as well. I think it's the sort of Church that you could attend as a family and still feel comfortable being a Muslim there.

My path to Islam involved a long period as a Monotheist... and I searched high and low for a non-Trinitarian church. Never found one, sadly.

Remember whatever church you do attend, that church is usually one day per week for a few hours. You're a Mom 24 hours/day, 7 days/week. If your kids see you praying, they're going to pick up on that and ask you questions. At Christmastime, it's very easy to say, "Y'know, Jesus, peace be upon him, is one of the greatest Prophets that ever lived. But I don't believe he was God or even wanted to be worshiped as such." Just teach them as you go. Know that they might revert, or might not... but either way, Allah(swt) will reward you for your efforts.

Good luck!

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#26 of 39 Old 07-12-2007, 03:09 PM
 
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Does it have to be a Christian church? Obviously, one group which prays to God but not to Jesus would be Jews.
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#27 of 39 Old 07-12-2007, 03:14 PM
 
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I know the whole basis of Christianity is the he was the son of God, but is there a church that doesn't actually pray to Jesus? Thanks!
I agree with the PP's suggestion for the UU church. I'd like to add the Society of Friends (Quakers). I'm an erstwhile Quaker, married to a non-religious Muslim, and I don't really accept the divinity of Jesus Christ.
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#28 of 39 Old 07-12-2007, 08:41 PM
 
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Does it have to be a Christian church? Obviously, one group which prays to God but not to Jesus would be Jews.




I think she's looking for something to satisfy her DH's need to have his children in a Jesus-following tradition without her having to do the "praying to a person" thing.

And Jews are *not* in a Jesus-following tradition.
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#29 of 39 Old 07-17-2007, 12:35 PM
 
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Summertime Mommy-

Christians believe that Jesus is God. You will not find a single church that prays to "God not Jesus". That doesn't make sense in the context of Christianity.

I am a Christian married to a Muslim. We have promised never to teach the children anything, or bring them to any place of worship, without the consent of the other parent. I would strongly suggest that you agree on a both-or-neither policy if you have a hard time dealing with it. We do both.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#30 of 39 Old 07-17-2007, 05:35 PM
 
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Summertime Mommy-

Christians believe that Jesus is God. You will not find a single church that prays to "God not Jesus". That doesn't make sense in the context of Christianity.
This is not correct. Some Christian denominations believe this, some do not. Considering that several times in the NT Jesus prays to the Father, and it is difficult to imagine that Jesus would be praying outloud to himself, it is not hard to see why some Christian denominations would in fact consider the Godhead to be made of three separate beings who are one in purpose and not the same person.
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