LDS Mamas and Papas #44 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:10 PM
 
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What is your philosophy of life? A favorite phrase from a song or a favorite song title? Somethign that makes you happy? What are you about? What do you do all day? IF you are introducing yourself, do you always include a sentence of explanation, perhaps something clever or silly?
I'm not sure I have a philosophy.... or a favorite phrase. No favorite song comes to mind either... I love anything related to birth... I'm in school to become a midwife. I'm a stay at home mom, full time student (for this next quarter at least.) , doula, and Bradley Method Childbirth Educator (with my DH.)... no real concrete introduction either..

Man am I a pain or what...

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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I just read this Mothering article on the front page: Willingness is Key

It was really good. It made me think about how we need to let go of our own willfullness and surrender to God's goodness with willingness, our trust and faith in him and in the goodness of life and the beauty of the process.

To me this was kind of a missing link I was looking for between some of the Law of Attraction-type ideas, and the gospel.

The Law of Attraction teachers say: set your intention, allow yourself to come into alignment with what you desire, release your own will, and let whatever happens, happen. Coming into alignment with what you want includes gratitude, positive thinking, and putting forth whatever effort might be necessary.

The scriptures teach: Stay in constant commune with God (constant prayer, so you are telling him all of your wishes and desires along with everything else,) allow yourself to be eligible to receive blessings (be righteous and faithful and "be of good cheer",) release your own will (surrender to God,) and let whatever happens, happen.

Pretty much the same thing, just one has taken God out of the equation, except perhaps as a noncorporeal energy that flows through all of us,

But anyway I was thinking about this and how I was raised thinking "Where there's a will there's a way", and I like the phrase, "Where there's a will there's a wall." This is the missing piece of the puzzle in my practice of positive thinking-- surrender.

It's easier said than done, though. *sigh*
I guess to me they both come down to one word: attitude.
The ability to keep a positive attitude with whatever happens and comes your way in life. It's easy with when we get the blessings we want, but it takes a strong will when roadblocks, or other peoples whiney attitudes get in the way to keep seeing light. It is a constant thing to keep working and praying for!
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:22 PM
 
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Okay, turn on the radio, and the first song you hear is your new senior title.



I can just imagine . . . Love Is a Battlefield . . Pour Some Sugar On Me . . . better just skip the "mix" stations!

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:25 PM
 
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Pour Some Sugar On Me
That's probably my favorite Def Leppard song. I'm not exactly sure that I know what all the lyrics mean, nor that I want to! My other favorite one is "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad?", but I realized it has really bad lyrics too! I mean, "why save your kisses for a rainy day? Baby let them roam and take your heart away" is not exactly the philosophy I want to be teaching my kids! But I just tell myself that they're talking to a married couple
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:31 PM
 
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DH would really like the cable TV - he wants to watch the financial channel. And lately I've been wondering how much 'natural' stuff he does just because I want to do it, not because it's really what HE wants. He has gone along with most everything I've wanted to do - different variations of healthy eating, homebirth, not having a TV, etc. I realized that just as I expect him to give me the freedom to be myself, I need to make it 100% safe for him to be himself too, even if that means we end up with a (gasp) TV!
I've been thinking somewhat along these lines lately too. Not necessarily in giving into TV and things like that, but in wanting to find things with dh that makes us feel more united, kwim? I think it's really cool when there are couples that are both excited about many of the same things and have a common purpose. I know we have the gospel and our family, but even with those we have differing levels of commitment and philosophies. I guess we just need to talk more about what we both *really want* in life.
back to the TV for example. Wouldn't it feel really nice to have us both feel so strongly about it one way or the other?
Like yours, my dh has gone along with a lot of the things I've decided are important for me. I guess I'm just hoping that we'll be able to find things that we both are equally excited about.
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:35 PM
 
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I guess to me they both come down to one word: attitude.
The ability to keep a positive attitude with whatever happens and comes your way in life. It's easy with when we get the blessings we want, but it takes a strong will when roadblocks, or other peoples whiney attitudes get in the way to keep seeing light. It is a constant thing to keep working and praying for!
Thanks for replying (And Katie too!)

I absolutely agree with you, with one caveat-- for me, having a good attitude can't be just another virtue on a spiritual "must-do" list. Because, for me, then it becomes more about me not feeling good enough to be loved yet-- I have to achieve success with my (mental) spiritual "must-do" list first. That's why, for me, it needs to be more about surrendering to feeling God's love, rather than "remember to have a good attitude". When I remember that I am loved, and hold that feeling of love close to my heart, and pass it on to others, it just changes everything-- getting my own way and being right don't seem as crucial anymore, and doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do seems so much easier.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:42 PM
 
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Thanks for replying (And Katie too!)

I absolutely agree with you, with one caveat-- for me, having a good attitude can't be just another virtue on a spiritual "must-do" list. Because, for me, then it becomes more about me not feeling good enough to be loved yet-- I have to achieve success with my (mental) spiritual "must-do" list first. That's why, for me, it needs to be more about surrendering to feeling God's love, rather than "remember to have a good attitude". When I remember that I am loved, and hold that feeling of love close to my heart, and pass it on to others, it just changes everything-- getting my own way and being right don't seem as crucial anymore, and doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do seems so much easier.
I totally understand that POV and agree. I think that is why that word came to me. I try to complicate things and when I realized that those 2 philosophies just really come down to attitude it kept things much simpler. I know that when I am conciously trying to stay positive, it is so much easier to feel and remember the Lord's love for me. And then in turn it is is so much easier to keep a happy disposition...it's a cycle that I'd like to try to keep in--hehe, instead of the pride cycle!!
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:43 PM
 
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Like yours, my dh has gone along with a lot of the things I've decided are important for me. I guess I'm just hoping that we'll be able to find things that we both are equally excited about.
I wish DH would go along with me on things. Lately we've really been arguing over the fact that loves first-person shooter video games, and I'd rather my child not be exposed to the violence, even by being in the same room while DH is playing. But DH refuses to give it up, because I would be "taking away the only thing that makes him happy". *sighs* I'm fairly anti-TV as well, which we do really well with as far as watching things on TV, but it's on pretty much the whole time DH is home because he's playing some kind of video game.

I used to think he was just going along with me on all the "crunchy" stuff until we were discussing what kind of woman he'd married if we ever got divorced. His response was a "cloth diapering, breastfeeding, non-circing one!" Hehe. He also freaked out when DS was in sposies for the first time ever trying to get rid of a rash. He went on a 20 minute rant while changing him about how he had no idea how to "work" the diaper, and then about how much trash we were making just by using them for 2 days. So I guess he has his good points, anyway.

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:50 PM
 
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I totally understand that POV and agree. I think that is why that word came to me. I try to complicate things and when I realized that those 2 philosophies just really come down to attitude it kept things much simpler. I know that when I am conciously trying to stay positive, it is so much easier to feel and remember the Lord's love for me. And then in turn it is is so much easier to keep a happy disposition...it's a cycle that I'd like to try to keep in--hehe, instead of the pride cycle!!
Oh, absolutely.

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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Lately we've really been arguing over the fact that loves first-person shooter video games, and I'd rather my child not be exposed to the violence
My dh also loves the M-rated shooting games, and has played them with our 5-year old hanging over his shoulder. So yeah, he's not *quite* perfect
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:54 PM
 
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I wish DH would go along with me on things. Lately we've really been arguing over the fact that loves first-person shooter video games, and I'd rather my child not be exposed to the violence, even by being in the same room while DH is playing. But DH refuses to give it up, because I would be "taking away the only thing that makes him happy". *sighs* I'm fairly anti-TV as well, which we do really well with as far as watching things on TV, but it's on pretty much the whole time DH is home because he's playing some kind of video game.
Tiffani, my dh was like this when we first married (although he never said it was the only thing that made him happy!) but he said it was important for him to be able to relax with it. You know what-- it only took a couple of years for him to give it up. We have no video game system in the house anymore, and he never plays computer games. I didn't nag him about it (I hope! I tried not to!), although he knew how I felt about it, but I just let it go and I guess I must have rubbed off on him passively.

I bet your guy will come around eventually!

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Old 08-07-2007, 07:00 PM
 
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I used to think he was just going along with me on all the "crunchy" stuff until we were discussing what kind of woman he'd married if we ever got divorced. His response was a "cloth diapering, breastfeeding, non-circing one!" Hehe. He also freaked out when DS was in sposies for the first time ever trying to get rid of a rash. He went on a 20 minute rant while changing him about how he had no idea how to "work" the diaper, and then about how much trash we were making just by using them for 2 days. So I guess he has his good points, anyway.
That's funny. I didn't realize how much my husband had converted either until we started teaching our childbirth classes.

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Old 08-07-2007, 07:00 PM
 
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Totally laughing about LTB's radio suggestion.

Eternal Companion to DH , Homeschooling mama to DS 05/04 , DS 11/05 , DD 12/07 , DS 07/10 and one on the way: June 2015!
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Old 08-07-2007, 07:07 PM
 
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My dh also loves the M-rated shooting games, and has played them with our 5-year old hanging over his shoulder. So yeah, he's not *quite* perfect
I am also fortunate that he doesn't play them regularly. He'll get a game and play it for a few days or weeks, and then quit it for a long time. He's not playing any computer games right now, for instance.
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Old 08-07-2007, 07:11 PM
 
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An LDS MDC mom could use some support over here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=726052



Oh, and tuansprincess too:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...53#post8837353

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-07-2007, 07:17 PM
 
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That's funny. I didn't realize how much my husband had converted either until we started teaching our childbirth classes.
I was totally surprised by my dh who has been trying to convince a co-worker who's wife is due tomorrow not to give into being induced.

He's never cared about those things before.
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Old 08-07-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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Thanks for the links LTB... those mamas REALLY need our support.

Eternal Companion to DH , Homeschooling mama to DS 05/04 , DS 11/05 , DD 12/07 , DS 07/10 and one on the way: June 2015!
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Old 08-07-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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so i quoted Bronwyn in a blog post not too long ago. she made this excellent comment about the c-section rate. guess what? people have their panties in a twist over it. : please venture over to my blog and offer up your thoughts. this really bugs me that people twist the real issue so they can find offense in it. :Puke

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Old 08-07-2007, 08:56 PM
 
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Crunchiness - we cloth diaper, breastfeed, co-sleep, baby-wear, don't vax, won't circ, our two girls were drug free hospital births, this next will be either a birth center or a homebirth. DH and I are both rooting for the homebirth, but we've got some living arrangements to work out first.
Emily
just wondering if you have found a midwife yet? I have DS 2 with a great group of ladies at Andaluz down in Tualatin. Ds 3 is also hopefully going to be born there. They gladly do homebirths or they have a beautiful birthing center. Let me know if you would like to know more, if not I will not at all be offended.

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Old 08-07-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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So...if I have a question/rant, should I ask it here or start another thread? (My only fear with starting another thread is that you tend to get answers from non-LDS tell you what LDS "believe", but I also don't want to start a debate on here, so let me know which way you guys would feel more comfortable).

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Old 08-07-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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I guess it might depend what it is, but on this thread is A-OK with me!

I know I've been on the internet way too much today but Teddy is teething and wouldn't sleep all day so this has been my life-line to the non-fussy-baby world today.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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Old 08-07-2007, 09:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So...if I have a question/rant, should I ask it here or start another thread? (My only fear with starting another thread is that you tend to get answers from non-LDS tell you what LDS "believe", but I also don't want to start a debate on here, so let me know which way you guys would feel more comfortable).
Go ahead and start it here.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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Old 08-07-2007, 09:50 PM
 
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I totally agree with the "why LDS believe" thing... you're probably safer to clarify things here with active members..

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Old 08-07-2007, 09:55 PM
 
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Ok, so, here goes, and I hope I don't offend anyone...

I was reading on lds.org about tattoos and piercings being "defiling our temples". I don't agree with that and really don't understand the rationalization. I especially don't understand why it's ok for a woman to pierce her ears once, but that's not defiling her temple? I don't get the rationale why that's okay but other piercings aren't.

I also don't get why those are considered defiling our temple, but nothing is said about pumping our children full of chemicals through vaccines, using drugs in labor, eating McDonalds, eating non-organic food and thereby filling our bodies with artifical hormones, ect. I can take my piercings out and they'll heal if I choose to. Fixing the damage done to our bodies by the chemicals and whatnot we put into it isn't nearly as easily corrected.

Am I way off base here? This is just something I'm really struggling with (along with a few other things that makes my DH tell me that if I do choose to join the church, they're never going to full accept me). Temples have beautiful religious symbols adorning then. So does my temple (all of my tattoos are religious). I don't see where that's bad.

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Old 08-07-2007, 09:58 PM
 
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I totally agree with the "why LDS believe" thing... you're probably safer to clarify things here with active members..
lol yeah, one of the reasons I stopped going to the church for awhile was because I felt the elders were pushing me to be baptised, and that's very insulting to me, as I feel people should be baptised when they choose, because they feel that connection to God, not because someone is pressuring them to do so. I wrote about it on my online diary and was told that LDS don't baptise for themselves, they do it for the dead, so the missionary probably knew someone who'd passed away and really wanted me to get baptised for them. : Of course I know now that that isn't true, but I was like "What??" when I heard that.

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Old 08-07-2007, 10:06 PM
 
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I tried as hard as I could to homebirth But I ended up with a c-section. I really want to hbac #2 but we'll see! Its something I need to pray about. But I hope heavenly father says go for it
That's me right now. DS' birth was a homebirth transfer and c-section. This one is hopefully a home water VBAC.
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Old 08-07-2007, 10:09 PM
 
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I am thinking of reposting my earlier post on this thread; I don't think anyone read it. That'll larn me for posting anything "deep" on the first two pages of the new thread.
I think LOA is a bunch of crap so I figured I'd stay out of it.
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Old 08-07-2007, 10:20 PM
 
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Ok, so, here goes, and I hope I don't offend anyone...

I was reading on lds.org about tattoos and piercings being "defiling our temples". I don't agree with that and really don't understand the rationalization. I especially don't understand why it's ok for a woman to pierce her ears once, but that's not defiling her temple? I don't get the rationale why that's okay but other piercings aren't.

I also don't get why those are considered defiling our temple, but nothing is said about pumping our children full of chemicals through vaccines, using drugs in labor, eating McDonalds, eating non-organic food and thereby filling our bodies with artifical hormones, ect. I can take my piercings out and they'll heal if I choose to. Fixing the damage done to our bodies by the chemicals and whatnot we put into it isn't nearly as easily corrected.

Am I way off base here? This is just something I'm really struggling with (along with a few other things that makes my DH tell me that if I do choose to join the church, they're never going to full accept me). Temples have beautiful religious symbols adorning then. So does my temple (all of my tattoos are religious). I don't see where that's bad.
i have had much of the same thoughts/questions you have!! it's refreshing to know i am not the only one. if there were not rules in place you better believe i'd have a 3/4 sleeve tattoo and one on my chest and upper back (i already had planned them all out, atually) would still have my nose ring and all.

here's my thoughts, lemme see if i can make them make sense. again, they are *my* thoughts. i'm not saying it's doctrine...

i don't think that the Lord or the church really cares what a person looks like. that isn't the deciding factor on salvation. throughout history religious groups and others have sort of had a "uniform" to let other's know who they are and the covenants/promises they've made to their religion/God/Goddess/goup/etc. by the Lord asking us to refrain from putting marks and things into our bodies that He does not approve of He is asking us to wear the "uniform" of our faith. i don't not have tattos or pericings because i think they are wrong or bad or make a bad person but rather because the Lord has asked it of me.
onto your other questions about it's relation to defiling one's body- one must remember that scripture is up for interpretation and that we are entitled to personal revelation and the leaders of the church are human and capable of mistake. i'm not saying we shouldn't sustain or trust in them but that we should review all of what they have said in prayer w/an open heart and mind. to me the Word of Wisdom is clear about what we should and should not be putting in our bodies to aid us in optimal health. few members i know actually follow this but it is still there for all to see. so there are regulations on what we put into our bodies and, IMO, it can relate to vax.
our bodies are our temples. but they are gifts from the Lord and through Him they will be made whole again.

ok, so yeah, i doubt that made any sense. : take it or leave it and feel free to ask me some questions and we'll see if i can articulate the answers.

also, i am curious to know about why you or your Dh feel you won't be fully accepted. you don't have to answer or you can PM me but i know the feeling all too well!! i miht be able to share some thoughts on it.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-07-2007, 10:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
I think LOA is a bunch of crap so I figured I'd stay out of it.
oh man that was classic! i heart you Alisa.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 08-07-2007, 10:28 PM
 
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The tattoo/piercing thing is a relatively new recommendation for the members - within the last ten years, if I recall. Sometimes these things are told to us simply to see if we'll be obedient or not. There may be no logical reason beyond that.

The best way to handle something you don't understand is to go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him two things:

1. Is President Hinckley really a prophet?

2. If the answer is yes, please help me accept the things I don't understand.

Outsiders may think that is a bit brainwashy, but really, only Heavenly Father can help us understand what His servants ask of us, and at least help us feel peaceful about the things we don't get. There are actually quite a few things that rub me the wrong way about the Church, but I trust Heavenly Father, and I trust His prophet, so I follow them and defend them.
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