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#661 of 1560 Old 06-25-2008, 06:53 PM
 
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umsami,

I am sorry to hear the situation you are in. I am facing a future possibly without my husband for verbal/emotional abuse and the biggest thing holding me back is the concern about the children not having their baba too. But please dont let that hold you back....it is not good for your children to see him being violent with you...that is not a good baba role model. Is there anyway he would go for counselling??? islamic counselling? I am a fine one to talk as my husband says everything is me and refuses to go. Please dont back down and go back to him.... stay with your family...i am so glad you have them.



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Thanks everybody.

Tomorrow, the kids and I will be heading for my parents' house Insha'Allah. DH told my son tonight that he doesn't think he'll ever see him again, which I find very troubling. He's planning to return to Egypt in early August (or so he says)... but still, it worries me that he says he'll never see him again. As much as I do not want to live with the violence and his controlling nature, I also know that the kids need their Baba in their lives.

So, keep him in your du'as too. That he seeks out help and that we find a way that is best for all of us.
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#662 of 1560 Old 06-28-2008, 09:46 AM
 
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Salaam Alaikum Sisters!

Just checking in with my MDC Sisters-in-Islam. It's been a while since I've been here, so I'll be reading some back posts to catch up on things. Subhan Allah there are many more muslimahs now than when I first joined MDC. :

Fe Aman Allah

D.

Ilyas says salaams and chose his own smiley!
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#663 of 1560 Old 06-30-2008, 06:33 PM
 
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Adjusting to being home so hard..

We went to Egypt to visit my dad in May....
I am finding being home such a drag -

culturally it was so nice to be around men interacting with their kids- I find that here its all women all the time (malls, kid's parks, family events) where there you saw a lot of men with their families for activities, shopping etc not just women alone KWIM? There I felt like a wife...and people treated me with respect for that position...it was nice they also treated dh like he owned a set and made all the decisions he liked that

Maybe also too I didn't get the 'first baby?' dumb ass advice - here you say no fourth and people look at you like you are to dumb to use a condom There they say congrats and think four is great...

The boys miss it, they got so much attention in Egypt. Where people here seem to treat children as mother's should be quiet accessories. People there actually talked to them as if they were people.

and don't get me started on the weather.
It's not hot here :

It's cloudy most of the time - I MISS THE SUN.
I miss the food...:
I miss sixty five cent a gallon gasoline
I miss interesting shopping

We are planning on moving to the middle east ( : dubai inshallah next year or two. I've got the boys in formal arabic classes on Saturdays. Now to get dh to stop buying crap and start getting rid of stuff we don't need. I am due in a few weeks with our fourth and last baby finishing my degree this comming spring...

I just feel so disjointed - we spent the week with my mom at the cottage...okay I am sure the naked beach displays also have something to do with my feeling disjointed about being here not over there..I just don't feel I fit in here socially now more than ever...

and the thought of being "HERE" for another year or so is difficult...
and I can't really travel for a while anyways...new baby, finishing school...sigh

8 might be enough
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#664 of 1560 Old 07-01-2008, 12:30 AM
 
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Maybe also too I didn't get the 'first baby?' dumb ass advice - here you say no fourth and people look at you like you are to dumb to use a condom There they say congrats and think four is great...


That made me laugh outloud.

Totally understand about the new baby and finishing school. I have a 6 week old, I'm taking a class (dissertation class, so at least I don't have to GO anywhere), doing research (as a graduate assistant) and trying to write my proposal.

Ugh, when I put it in a sentence I realize just how CRAZY I really am. LOL life is just better when I don't think about it. :

D.

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#665 of 1560 Old 07-01-2008, 12:58 PM
 
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Salam aleykum Shiloh:


Hey you!!! I tried to send a private message and guess what .....it is full (just like my uncles phone

Anyway, I think I sent an email to your hotmail but I remember now it is one you dont use that much...sorry.

Happy Canada Day... Hope things are going well on your end...Havent seen you online for awhile.

Veronica
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#666 of 1560 Old 07-02-2008, 02:56 AM
 
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asalam alaikum sisters
it's nice to know that there are other sisters in tune with my style of parenting re: male circumcision, i have a Muslim OB who also didn't take off much foreskin from DS. I thought maybe she didn't do a proper job, b/c my friend's babies had no trace of foreskin. but i guess some OBs have their own way of doing circs.

are there any sisters here from nyc?
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#667 of 1560 Old 07-02-2008, 10:53 AM
 
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Salaam,
Yeah my boys too just had a very loose one, not like the horrific pictures you get shown

Veronica - yeah PM filled up have to pay to get more space...payday was yesterday...someone is slow in getting to the bank (Which he works at)..facebook me

8 might be enough
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#668 of 1560 Old 07-02-2008, 11:17 PM
 
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are there any sisters here from nyc?
Wa'alaikum Assalam:

I'm in Brooklyn but will only be here a few more weeks Insha'allah. There are other MDC Muslimahs in the area, though.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#669 of 1560 Old 07-04-2008, 02:35 PM
 
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Assalamu Alaikum:

So... I stopped wearing my hijab after the incident with DH. Just couldn't do it. I'm amazed at how differently I'm treated. I mean, I knew on some level that it would happen... but being multicultural NY, I didn't expect it to be so blatantly obvious. In Jacksonville? Yup... I'd expect it. But here in NY where there's a sizable population of women who cover? Didn't expect it. Really sad.

Happy 4th of July folks. I have to get back to packing.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#670 of 1560 Old 07-04-2008, 08:55 PM
 
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asalam alaikum sisters
it's nice to know that there are other sisters in tune with my style of parenting re: male circumcision, i have a Muslim OB who also didn't take off much foreskin from DS. I thought maybe she didn't do a proper job, b/c my friend's babies had no trace of foreskin. but i guess some OBs have their own way of doing circs.

are there any sisters here from nyc?

assalamulaykum, I'm from NY (Queens). Where are you located?
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#671 of 1560 Old 07-04-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by umsami View Post
Assalamu Alaikum:

So... I stopped wearing my hijab after the incident with DH. Just couldn't do it. I'm amazed at how differently I'm treated. I mean, I knew on some level that it would happen... but being multicultural NY, I didn't expect it to be so blatantly obvious. In Jacksonville? Yup... I'd expect it. But here in NY where there's a sizable population of women who cover? Didn't expect it. Really sad.

Happy 4th of July folks. I have to get back to packing.
Not too surprised actually - I remember how distinctly different I was treated when I started. But eventually, it stopped mattering. Hope your move is an easy one insha'allah and that you are able to heal quickly from all of this.
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#672 of 1560 Old 07-05-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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ASA,

I'm also in Brooklyn, NY.
Mahira, do you do kosher organic. If so and your interested there is a place in Brooklyn that does chicken.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#673 of 1560 Old 07-05-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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Not too surprised actually - I remember how distinctly different I was treated when I started.
Oddly enough it's been different for me in rural PA -- I've never had anything that didn't waver between being as much of the landscape as everyone else to a subtlely higher respect. I think part of it is specific to the location ... a high Amish/Mennonite population in the country and closer to the city a really high Catholic/parochial-school-raised population. If ever there was a place in the U.S. with few Muslims but where people are nevertheless accustomed to religious takes on dress, this is it. Kind of hard for a man rockin' suspenders and a straw hat to look at me and say "gee, you sure dress weird."
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#674 of 1560 Old 07-05-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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Oddly enough it's been different for me in rural PA -- I've never had anything that didn't waver between being as much of the landscape as everyone else to a subtlely higher respect. I think part of it is specific to the location ... a high Amish/Mennonite population in the country and closer to the city a really high Catholic/parochial-school-raised population. If ever there was a place in the U.S. with few Muslims but where people are nevertheless accustomed to religious takes on dress, this is it. Kind of hard for a man rockin' suspenders and a straw hat to look at me and say "gee, you sure dress weird."
LOL

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#675 of 1560 Old 07-08-2008, 11:20 PM
 
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ASA,

I'm also in Brooklyn, NY.
Mahira, do you do kosher organic. If so and your interested there is a place in Brooklyn that does chicken.
Yeah actually I do kosher, just never knew of any place that was kosher and organic. Do you usually get chickens from there. It's a weird thing with me, I think its totally fine to eat kosher, so I go to kosher delis, restaurants etc. But for some reason, I have a hard time getting kosher uncooked meats. Can't even begin to explain why.
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#676 of 1560 Old 07-09-2008, 07:45 AM
 
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<----- Jannah, was that you? :
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#677 of 1560 Old 07-09-2008, 12:33 PM
 
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<----- Jannah, was that you? :
LOL, who ME
Alright, I confess, it was me

As for the kosher organic, I haven't every bought. I saw an advertisement in a local paper for a co-op and thought of you. I just sent the paper down to my aunt. When I get it back I'll send you the info.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#678 of 1560 Old 07-10-2008, 02:41 PM
 
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As-salamu 'alaikom~

Just popping in to note that my daughter was born on Monday. : And, you know, to show her off.
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#679 of 1560 Old 07-11-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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As-salamu 'alaikom~

Just popping in to note that my daughter was born on Monday. : And, you know, to show her off.
Mashallah....she is beautiful.....what was her weight etc? Btw, were you in the August DDC? Your name looks very familiar to me....I am expecting near the end of August. Anyway, congratulations
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#680 of 1560 Old 07-11-2008, 09:12 PM
 
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As-salamu 'alaikom~

Just popping in to note that my daughter was born on Monday. : And, you know, to show her off.
Masha'Allah, she's beautiful!! Her birthdate is almost exactly the same as my DD.

Congratulations! May Allah(swt) watch over your family always.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#681 of 1560 Old 07-11-2008, 09:16 PM
 
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As-salamu 'alaikom~

Just popping in to note that my daughter was born on Monday. : And, you know, to show her off.
Salaam sis,

MashaAllah, she is so lovely! I'm so happy for you. Please let me know if there is anything you need inshaAllah. :
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#682 of 1560 Old 07-12-2008, 10:56 AM
 
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Congrats on your new baby girl, Liquesce! What a lot of beautiful hair! MashAllah!

For the ladies in North Florida, and I know there are a couple of you out there--can you please recommend a masjid with a good new-convert program in the Jacksonville area? I keep running into NoI masjids and I don't exactly fit their demographic, ya know? I'd love to find a place with a bit more Sufi in them. (Where's that dervish smilie?)
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#683 of 1560 Old 07-14-2008, 10:52 AM
 
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Congratulations Liquesce! What a beautiful girl she is. I have followed your story and you are such an amazing, strong momma! Your grace and faith always seem to radiate from your posts. Please let us know if there is anything you need.
Mame Fati
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#684 of 1560 Old 07-18-2008, 01:48 PM
 
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As-salamu 'alaikom~

Just popping in to note that my daughter was born on Monday. : And, you know, to show her off.
BEAUTIFUL masha'allah! Mabrook!
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#685 of 1560 Old 07-18-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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For the ladies in North Florida, and I know there are a couple of you out there--can you please recommend a masjid with a good new-convert program in the Jacksonville area? I keep running into NoI masjids and I don't exactly fit their demographic, ya know? I'd love to find a place with a bit more Sufi in them. (Where's that dervish smilie?)
Assalamu Alaikum TKate:

The Islamic Center of NE Florida used to have a good program. They're on St. Johns Blvd. But, the Imam left about 1-2 years ago, so I'm not sure how things are these days.

I'd love to start up a sufi group with you when I get to JAX. (Only two more weeks!)

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#686 of 1560 Old 07-18-2008, 04:48 PM
 
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Mabrook on your baby girl, she's beautiful:. May Allah bless her with good health and all that is good in this life and the hereafter.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#687 of 1560 Old 07-18-2008, 05:07 PM
 
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Thank you everyone. She was 8 lbs 13 oz but came mostly trouble-free, is doing beautifully, and (aside from the nightly two a.m. crying spell ) is a blessedly easy baby so far.

Quote:
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Please let me know if there is anything you need inshaAllah. :
Only about twenty-three extra hands ... My mother-in-law is thinking of trying to come to help, but having never been outside of Egypt and Saudia I almost worry that needing everything translated and explained would be harder on her than she anticipates. But insha'allah either way will be fine.
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#688 of 1560 Old 07-18-2008, 07:25 PM
 
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Mahira, and any other NYC Mama whose interested. Here's the website for the food co-op that sells organic kosher chicken, http://www.flatbushfoodcoop.com/index.html

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#689 of 1560 Old 07-20-2008, 06:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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salaamu aliakum all!

I just got back from Iran monday night!!!
It was quite a trip, subhanallah and overall was a lot of fun.
Ibi was pretty good...he really enjoyed having a lot more kids to play and run around with and it was cute watching his morph from a majority English spkg babe to a Farsi spkg babe...hehehhee
We all adjusted well and had fun shopping, seeing friends and relaxing.

On a side note...I brought back a ton of Irani hijabs and some other stuff...mainly maghnehs (maghneh-ye Irani and 'Arabi)...if any sister is intrested in 1, pls pm me for info.
en'shallah.

Comeing back was a bit harry...Ibi had a huge meltdown once we boarded at Heathrow but thankfully slept the entire trip.

Anyway, dh is en'shallah going back next NoRuz (New Years) thou I probably wont fot 2-3 years, we r also going to soon buy a house there...which I'm eager for. It's hard for us not to have a real place of our own we can relax and chill at.

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#690 of 1560 Old 07-20-2008, 09:36 AM
 
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Quote:
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Assalamu Alaikum TKate:

The Islamic Center of NE Florida used to have a good program. They're on St. Johns Blvd. But, the Imam left about 1-2 years ago, so I'm not sure how things are these days.

I'd love to start up a sufi group with you when I get to JAX. (Only two more weeks!)
: : : : : :
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