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#31 of 37 Old 08-25-2008, 11:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
If anyone cares, I'm still committed unity principles but my church has experienced a lot of dysfunction lately and I'm not loving it all. It's very sad.

I'm looking for more of a Buddhist family service kind of thing. I'd like to get away from very anthropomorphic interpretations of the divine.
FWIW, I was involved in Unity churches in leadership roles, and in the Unity and New Thought movements in general, for around 7 years. I loved many of the ideas and principles, but suffered the greatest spiritual and emotional abuse at the hands of Unity's leaders and adherents that I've ever experienced. Of the 20 or so churches I had regular contact with, I never found one that didn't have extreme levels of dysfunction. If I had not been as involved behind the scenes and seen the things that went on, I could very likely still be involved in Unity and have no idea what kinds of things went on in the movement. But having seen it, I could never set foot in another Unity church ever again in good conscience. As much as I loved some of the principles, the open-mindedness, and the meditative quality (in some of the churches-- again each one is different depending on the beliefs and perspective of the minister), it would be akin to deciding to date someone who once raped you. It just doesn't work.

If you need to talk, I'm available via PM.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#32 of 37 Old 08-26-2008, 12:11 AM
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I have been exploring churches lately. My family historically has been episcopalian, and I don't even know how to spell it.

Unity seems most consistent with my own beliefs -- Filmore was even a vegetarian. Can you please tell me about the dysfunction you experienced?

We could do PM or you could post on the board if not ua and it's anonymous.
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#33 of 37 Old 08-26-2008, 05:40 PM
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There are just a lot of egos going on in my church. In my mid-30's I'm one of the youngest people there. We've fired 2 ministers in the last 5 years. The last one caused a huge rift in the congregation - some of them really liked the minister. A bunch of people quit the board of directors over the firing and the small group that did the firing placed their own supporters on the BoD. (If someone quits, the Board can appoint a new person without an election).

Then other people were pretty peeved at what went on - so they challenged the leadership of the BoD - kind of like a recall vote and lost the challenge. But the dissenters WERE elected to the board when regular elections came around.

Pretty much everyone on the Board of Directors works in their own business, is retired, or has a sole proprietership. DH and I are both office grunts and quite frankly - more used to working WITH people - the whole compromise, give notice, set a meeting agenda, gather support, etc, etc. It's kind of astounding the way things are running.

On top of that the new minister is just OK. He's not really that great. His lessons just don't leave me with much. There is a GREAT minister at another Unity church that seems so much better, but it's 40 minutes away and I just can't drag as all out of the house that early 6 days a week, 5 is bad enough.

So, that's where I'm at right now.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#34 of 37 Old 08-26-2008, 05:46 PM
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Thank you for explaining that for me. I am in the middle of something but I didn't want to read it without responding and thanking you for your time and insight.
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#35 of 37 Old 08-27-2008, 07:49 AM
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Ellien, that's definitely rough to have a church that is all about power struggles rather than relaxation and peace. I think it'd be totally worth it for that extra day though. You feel refreshed, connected, at peace once you get there and for awhile afterwards...maybe even the whole rest of the day.
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#36 of 37 Old 08-28-2008, 01:14 AM
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Oh, it makes me sad to read all this about this church, but any church in general.

FWIW, we have had nothing but good experiences so far and have even had one friend decide to join us. INterestingly, this friend and I both consider ourselves Buddhist, but love this church so much.

Have been thinking though of joining a weekly Buddhist event. I think I"m scared to base my spiritual community in only one basket so to speak.

I think another thing is taht after DH has worked so long in school administration, that I know a lot about what it takes to run things and how it's not always, not that we've seen anything shady, I also realize a lot of sweat, hard work and fairly non-glamourous things almost need to go on to keep the ship running.

I am excited to go to the membership class when they have it though to learn more specifics about all of it.
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#37 of 37 Old 09-01-2008, 11:12 PM
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Originally Posted by transformed View Post
Anyone seen "What Dreams May Come"? That is the picture of death that I carry with me....and hell too.
Oh, is that the one with Robin Williams? That is totally what I pictured when I tried to envision what I believe heaven and hell to be like. That movie really touched me...

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