New Year Pagan Circle (January) - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 10:05 AM
 
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Do any of you (if you are open about your path/religion that is) experience people treating it as if it were "cool" or something of a novelty? Does that make sense? I think we are all mostly familiar with the out and out rudeness some people have toward Paganism, but there's this other reaction I have encountered and it's so strange.

Has anyone ever experienced this reaction?
LOL! I haven't had this reaction since I lived in residence while in school. I went to school with a lot of people from rural areas, the moajority of whom were very Christian and had grown up without internet access.

I was "the witch on second floor". I did do tarot and astrology, and girls would come in pairs (never alone) and shuffle into my room sideways and ask things like "Are my boyfriend and I a good match?" and stuff like that. I genreally just gave them a quick astrology rundown and tried not to laugh!

I'm 5'3" and at the time weighed about 120lbs soaking wet. I've never had ANYONE be that afraid of me. To this day I find it ridiculous.

They did get used to it, by the end of our second year (in a two year program) I did Tarot card readings for a dollar to help raise funds for our graduation dance! And they almost all had them done. It was fun, and really good practice. (I figure if you only pay a dollar you shouldn't be upset if I still have look things up in the book!)

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#122 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 10:10 AM
 
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Hehe, so many watery-women here! That explains a lot I've always been a fire gal, myself, although being pregnant has really unleashed my earthiness, too.
I'm so an Earth girl.

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Twinklefae - congrats on the handfasting! We did a similar thing at my wedding, so as not to freak out my Catholic family and his Lutheran one (not to mention my athiest husband). We cast a very discreet circle during the ceremony by doing readings pertaining to each direction: commitment (air), love (fire), joy (water) and family (earth). Then we had our moms light the "unity" candle to symbolize Spirit. We released at the end by having our officient thank everyone for coming (which included the elements, of course ) and inviting them to stay for the reception. A sort of brief and subtle "stay if you will, go if you must". Best of luck with the planning!
That sounds like a good idea. At my friends Handfasting we forgot to do anything with them and me and the other "grace" had to go back before the reception started!

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#123 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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Welcome Southern Momma! :

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#124 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 03:21 PM
 
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How do y'all write so darn fast? We're not that far into January and there are already 7 pages! How's a person supposed to keep up when you're trying to catch up on baby rooms and the like? And sleeping and working on top of that!

We finally got our u/s done and the baby looks good, so we should be bringing home one healthy little boy in 5 months. Of course since we haven't done anything at all to set up we now have 5 months to striaghten out the room and get the furniture put together and so forth. I also am trying to figure out a baby blessing for after he's born. I'll take any thoughts on that - has anybody here done one? What did you do?

I saw there are some newbies here, so welcome to them and congrats to Twinklefae on your handfasting. We had one done too, but our families are a little more lax than most and my (extremely) RC grandmother couldn't come so there were no issues.

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#125 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 03:31 PM
 
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MrsM - I know just how you feel. But I agree with mercyn (excellent post, mercyn!), you should relax and take some of the pressure off yourself. I definitely got the point where my studies got in the way of my practice. Once I abandoned the books and just started doing what FELT right, I became much more confident in my practice. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to bounce stuff off of. Sending you positive :

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#126 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 04:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Christy- YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! That's such good news!

mercyn - a punk rocker in Syracuse? I'm in Ithaca and for some reason I just can't imagine a huge punk scene in Syracuse!

MrsM- you know, every so often I feel liike a total newbie... lost in a woods of "mystic" terminology and "knowing looks" that go right over my head. And I've been openly pagan since '93 and quietly "other" before that! But I agree with mercyn... somewhere along there I mostly stopped feeling like that. I don't know when or how, but at some point pagan just "was" and I didn't worry about the secret handshake clubs and the wacky terminology. Hang in there and rest assured YOU are the expert when it comes to YOUR religion and YOUR experiences. The words and rituals surrounding thing are just the icing on the cake... whatever you do is fine.

Cool Pagan thing- yeah. It wasn't a big deal in college since the dorm I lived in was a bit...errrr...well. And I hung out with the SCA where being pagan is again no big deal. But when movies like "The Craft" hit, when Willow turned out to be a witch, when every tv station seemed to have the cool/sexy/battle babe witch chick show.... yeah. It got a bit annoying. Sort of in the same vein as people who say "oh yes, I have a _____ friend". They don't mean anything bad by it but it always comes off as a bit... I don't know... like they have something to prove? It's sometimes annoying to be someone's token.

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#127 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 04:57 PM
 
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Sort of in the same vein as people who say "oh yes, I have a _____ friend". They don't mean anything bad by it but it always comes off as a bit... I don't know... like they have something to prove? It's sometimes annoying to be someone's token.
Yep, I have a friend that I feel would use my pagan status to make her look cool. Annoying. Especially when I choose to keep it to myself the majority of the time. She has a knack for spouting out that I'm pagan and it irks me cause I know she's just doing to show off.
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#128 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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Yep, I feel like the odd ball family because we sling, cdiaper, attend the UU church, eat organically. If more people knew we were pagan, I think I would get more off comments.
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My whole life I have always felt like an animal in a zoo.
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UnschoolnMa, absolutely! I feel like a side show attraction sometimes. We're always "that Pagan family," or "that vegetarian family," or "that attachment parenting family" even. I get a lot of "OMG I met this person who is (insert non-mainstream thing here) and I told him all about you! I bet you'd get along GREAT!" It's a bit odd, especially because I'm more introverted and a little shy. I don't like knowing that people are talking about me when I'm not around.
: over and over! These about sum it up for me, and I am just beginning to label my path as Pagan. We are already so out of mainstream in our lifestyle choices that I'm a bit fearful (in a : sort of way) to even tell people that my beliefs are Pagan (and can anyone tell I'm having trouble actually saying "I am Pagan"? I was journaling about this last night ... my hang-up with the word). We are "that" family that homeschools, breastfeeds "forever", eats organically/unprocessed/"real" food (and are picky over what over what we allow our kids to eat), etc. We are weird! And we left the church and have been on a spiritual journey lately. Oh man, we have the cards theoretically stacked against us!

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#129 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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I also don't really identify as witch anymore. I tried for about six months and it never felt right.

Many of our friends call us "earthy".
I don't mind being the odd ball these days but it used to bother me when I first had my dd. I really wanted to have "earthy" momma friends because I didn't fit in with the other moms I met through a group. Now over 6 years later I know lots of earthy people and am very open with them about my choices but not so much with others. I have been told that I am not that out there. what does that mean? *laughs*

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#130 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 07:01 PM
 
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Hi. I'm new to this thread. I was raised Southern Baptist as a child. Over the last 7-8 years, I have been slowly reading about different pagan paths and wiccan paths.
Welcome to the group from another recovering southern baptist

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I was "the witch on second floor". I did do tarot and astrology, and girls would come in pairs (never alone) and shuffle into my room sideways and ask things like "Are my boyfriend and I a good match?" and stuff like that. I genreally just gave them a quick astrology rundown and tried not to laugh!

I'm 5'3" and at the time weighed about 120lbs soaking wet. I've never had ANYONE be that afraid of me. To this day I find it ridiculous.
LOL too funny... I've had a fair bit of the oh COOL reaction.. I don't get too bothered by it really, better than crossing themselves telling me I'm goin to hell I spose

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How do y'all write so darn fast? We're not that far into January and there are already 7 pages! How's a person supposed to keep up when you're trying to catch up on baby rooms and the like? And sleeping and working on top of that!

We finally got our u/s done and the baby looks good, so we should be bringing home one healthy little boy in 5 months.
Hehehe MOST months we average a page a day.. if we get really chatty some days more I think we had a chat about baby blessings a few months back and some mama's gave some lovely suggestions (hoping they'll remember those now because I sure don't have them sorry!)

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I feel like such a novice still. Probably because I have never really "practiced" and that bothers me. I didn't feel comfortable in my house growing up to practice, especially with my family's comments of "don't burn down the house" or "ooh, its a full moon, you gonna cast a spell?" Plus, it was always soo noisy. Anyone want to give me classes?

Now my "excuse" is fear, I am always so afraid of doing things wrong, or of messing up and I have a hard time getting past that fear. Its on of the things I am working on this year.....again actually. I am also somewhat afraid of people's reactions, I've had quiet a few nasty ones in the last year.
So many people (myself included ) start out afraid they'll DO it wrong, so stick to reading about doing it instead. Or they think they'll feel silly doing a real ritual. I think I did that for about .. 5yrs?! I thought about it a lot, but never actually did a ritual on my own (i had gone to open circles before but that was it) until I was SO overwhelmed with grief at missing my babies that when I found an overcoming grief ritual someone else had written, I saw it as a sign to JUST DO IT. (to steal Nike's slogan ) I don't know if that ritual woke up the sleeping Mother goddess part of myself or what, but I got a huge amount of comfort and when I hugged myself as part of the ritual I still swear to this day there were much larger 'arms' around me than my own. Wow.. got a bit deep there On to much more mundane stuff...

Mama's HELP! over the weekend dh & I had a revelation that we will NEVER be able to buy a home of our own in or even NEAR the city we live in (example, our smallish older home in a not even super great area... would sell for 300k give or take because it is important to us that I be at home to raise our boys...plus even if I went back to work child care would kill us so the point would be moot! Sooooo... I found THIS http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?fslm=1&a=o&id=104262812&t=res

Pardon the unwieldy link! lol It is in a smaller country town, about 1.5hours from where we are now. DH can get a job transfer out to the store in that town (there is a job available right now actually) and he knows the area as he has cousins that live there and his brother used to as well. The house needs a little work but it's quite livable while we do it. And the little 'shop' gives us the possibility of a future business of our own (which we'd love to do!) Now we just need to pull off getting pre approved for finance despite dh's not perfect credit. Any : would be appreciated! I found another place that *I* love, but jobs aren't AS available there and dh is reluctant to go to THAT small of a town *sigh* so this is something we can both agree on... cross thy fingers mommies

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#131 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 07:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cari- fingers crossed and hopes for your house find!

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#132 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 08:12 PM
 
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Thanks for all your wise words Mamas. I am really trying to relax and breathe lately but I can't seem to get a handle on it. Its a bunch of other stuff going on in my brain.

I decided to pull out my BOS/Magic Journal and draw and write in it. I wrote out my beliefs and am about to write out my goal, wishes, dreams, etc. It seems to be helping a bit, hopefully as I write it out more it will become more solid, if that makes any sense.

I seem to be going through something, part depression, part inner journey and its confusing me, cause I feel like its interferring. Maybe I just need to surrender to it? *sigh* I am trying to figure it out but I keep coming up blank .

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#133 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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ChristyM26 - Congrats on the great u/s!! Yay June-baby

Cari - GL with the house search :

MrsM - sounds like a great start

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#134 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 10:11 PM
 
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ChristyM26 - That's great news! Have fun decorating and planning.
Welcome SouthernMomma!!!!
Cari-Sending good house vibes to you!!!!
Hello to everyone! I'm joining a bit late this month, I don't know where our time has gone really.

Could I ask for a little help for a friend? A dear, wonderful friend of mine is PG and is now pretty overdue and is super ready to meet her babe. If anyone thinks of it and/or wouldn't mind sending some labor vibes her way I'm sure she'd appreciate it!!! Her births with her other kids weren't what she had hoped and if this babe doesn't make an appearance soon I'm afraid it might be a repeat of her other births. TIA for any good thoughts!!!!

The Paganism = Cool/Status symbol thing floats around here a little bit too. But for the most part people don't seem to care a lot. One really cool thing, our library has two librarians in the children's room who are Pagan and both very proud of it but not boastful or doing it because it's "cool". I've found out rather discretely from both of them, so I think they're careful not to make a big thing of it while at work, which I can understand, but they both rock - just as people they are the sweetest and I'm so excited to meet others "like me".

OH! I've been meaning to share, DS#1 got a Fairy House for Yule!!! my mom got it at an herbal store near us (but the store has weekly Pagan chat meetings and an herbalist class and a bunch of stuff) Anyway, DS is in LOVE with this house and it's sooooo pretty! I promise to get pics of it up ASAP to share. I can't imagine ever getting rid of it, the boys will just have to play with it until college and then pass it on to their kids someday. Can you tell I'm in love with it too?

One by one the days are slipping up behind you ~ One by one the sweetest days of life go by :
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#135 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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Can I ask (yet another) Paganism 101 question?

Am I correct in what I am learning that this time of year is one of rebirth, renewal, and shedding of the old? (I think in particular I'm thinking of Yule to Imbolg (Imbolc?).) I hit a real "low" so to speak right at Christmas here ... a huge realization of how the way I was living/acting was not in line with my core beliefs/values. The last few days have been spent doing a lot of reading and writing ... trying to reaffirm my beliefs and values and to make sure that I make sure I align those with my life. I'm wondering if there is spiritual significance to all that ... if spiritually this would be the time of shedding old patterns/beliefs/out-dated modes of operation, and renewing what you really are all about ... does that make sense?

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#136 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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fingers crossed for the house!!

sending labor vibes to your friend. I am also due any day now.

I am going to start my herb garden this year. I would like to know which herbs I should start out with. I already have lavendar and marigolds. The marigolds are for my front patio. I want to start drying and making my own tinctures and things. Any suggestions?

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#137 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 11:17 PM
 
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I am going to start my herb garden this year. I would like to know which herbs I should start out with. I already have lavendar and marigolds. The marigolds are for my front patio. I want to start drying and making my own tinctures and things. Any suggestions?
I don't make tinctures etc, but I love to dry herbs for cooking & occasional magical use : I couldn't live without oregano, thyme, basil, rosemary.

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Am I correct in what I am learning that this time of year is one of rebirth, renewal, and shedding of the old? (I think in particular I'm thinking of Yule to Imbolg (Imbolc?).) I hit a real "low" so to speak right at Christmas here ... a huge realization of how the way I was living/acting was not in line with my core beliefs/values. The last few days have been spent doing a lot of reading and writing ... trying to reaffirm my beliefs and values and to make sure that I make sure I align those with my life. I'm wondering if there is spiritual significance to all that ... if spiritually this would be the time of shedding old patterns/beliefs/out-dated modes of operation, and renewing what you really are all about ... does that make sense?
Yep that... I think winter is naturally a time where our energy turns within anyway so I think it makes perfect sense. Once you make a decision on right belief, then it's only natural to feel a bit worn out until you take action that is in agreement with that. Imbolc is often used for dedications as well

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#138 of 524 Old 01-06-2008, 11:59 PM
 
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fingers crossed for the house!!

sending labor vibes to your friend. I am also due any day now.

I am going to start my herb garden this year. I would like to know which herbs I should start out with. I already have lavendar and marigolds. The marigolds are for my front patio. I want to start drying and making my own tinctures and things. Any suggestions?
Sending you good labor vibes too mama! I hope these babes make their apperances soon!!! (and easily for them and thier mamas )
:::

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#139 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 12:12 AM
 
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Hey, Mamas.

So, UnSchoolnma, I followed your link to the Witches' Calendar, but I'm trying to shop around a bit and see what all's out there with pagan holidays labeled and other fun and interesting stuff. Salvia, forgive me, I think this is the third year in a row that I've asked for this, but would you please tell me again your favorite pagany calendar? And what do others of you like, or have you found? I'm a big fan of the We'Moon Datebook, but I want something different to hang on the wall.

TIA!
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#140 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 12:46 AM
 
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Cari, good luck finding a home that is perfect for you.
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#141 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 01:05 AM
 
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There is so much wonderful information here! I have a couple of questions.


I would like to learn more about the gods/goddesses. What books/internet sites can you recommend to learn more about the gods/goddesses?


I have seen faeries (fairies - is this different?) mentioned a few times. What is their significance?


Gardening - I generally plant/tend to my garden when time permits. Why would one mark the calendar for specific activities? Or maybe I missed the point and it's just a general plant the beans around this time frame, and the carrots around this time, etc. I am thinking is might have to do with lunar activities but I am not sure.

Thank you for all of the great discussion.

Mama to my sweet Sophia, born at home on 4/6/11.
 
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#142 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 12:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Gardens- Salvia could probably give you more specific info (loooooove Salvia's garden pics!) but there are lunar/solar influences on gardens, and a huge collected body of "folk wisdom" and rituals associated with plants and gardening. So while you might mark your calendar to remind yourself that you need to plant the X by Y date in order to harvest by Z... but if you pick up a copy of the Farmer's Almanac you'll also find advice on what moon phase to plant you root veggies, or what week to plant your leafy greens, or when it's best to plant something associated with water versus when to plant something associated with fire.

Happy birth vibes! Come on out and play little one... your mama needs to give you a cuddle!

Fairy House- I saw some online a while ago (did someone post a link in this thread maybe?) and thought they were so cool. My favorite were the ones that fit onto a book. For the record we currently have 15 boxes of books and there are more to pack (and these are the shipping boxes from Lowes, so we're talking anywhere from 60-70 paperbacks/box to 20-30 large cookbooks/box).

Calendars- Although not specifically pagan I love the calendars with artwork by Susan Seddon Boulet (http://www.turningpointgallery.com/prints.asp for some of her art). I fill in the info I need by hand, but most calendars these days have lunar phases already in place.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
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#143 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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Whoa, lots of good chat and I just got all caught up! Sat was my birthday and DW took me to see some snow in the mountains! We had a great time but had to come home that night because we needed to insem with the doc at 7:30am on Sunday. That also went well except I'm a little sore still. Otherwise my birthday was awesome.

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Originally Posted by lovesdaffodils View Post
I get a lot of "OMG I met this person who is (insert non-mainstream thing here) and I told him all about you! I bet you'd get along GREAT!" It's a bit odd, especially because I'm more introverted and a little shy. I don't like knowing that people are talking about me when I'm not around.
This reminds me of the reaction I get sometimes when I tell people I'm a lesbian. I hear things like, "Oh really, do you know so-and-so? She's a lesbian too?" I just have to laugh and say "Well yea, I think I met her at the lesbian club meeting the other day."

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Has anyone ever experienced this reaction?
Being a newbie I haven't told many people about my path, mainly because I haven't completely figured it out myself yet. But those I have shared it with have been really great about it. They do ask questions and I'm happy to answer to the best of my knowledge.

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We finally got our u/s done and the baby looks good, so we should be bringing home one healthy little boy in 5 months.
Christy, that's so great!

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Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post
Mama's HELP! over the weekend dh & I had a revelation that we will NEVER be able to buy a home of our own in or even NEAR the city we live in (example, our smallish older home in a not even super great area... would sell for 300k give or take because it is important to us that I be at home to raise our boys...plus even if I went back to work child care would kill us so the point would be moot! Sooooo... I found THIS [URL="http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?fslm=1&a=o&id=104262812&t=res"]http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?fslm=1&a=o&id=104262812&t=res
Cari sending some : to you on the house thing. Hope your dreams of home owning come true very soon!

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I am going to start my herb garden this year. I would like to know which herbs I should start out with. I already have lavendar and marigolds. The marigolds are for my front patio. I want to start drying and making my own tinctures and things. Any suggestions?
This is a great question and something I was planning to ask as well. I'm wanting to create a magical herb garden this spring to dry the herbs for cooking and magical purposes. Are there any good books you guys could recommend for this? We've tried growing herbs in the past and haven't always had the best luck.

I'm going to a natural magic class tonight and I'm so excited about it. It's about an hours drive from my town but it will be my first class/instruction hasn't come from a book. I'm cautious, curious, and excited!

Also welcome to the newbies!!

-Rachel

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#144 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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I never thought to make my own tinctures...great idea! I grow a few different herbs and am continuing to work on my herb garden. I read alot online last year but lost the links when my computer crashed.

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#145 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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Phew! Just caught up.

Cari, keeping good thoughts on your house!

BurtsGirl, I thought there was a directory for such instance!

Gardens, what kinds of things are you ladies planning on planting?
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#146 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 05:42 PM
 
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BurtsGirl, I thought there was a directory for such instance!

Gardens, what kinds of things are you ladies planning on planting?
: @ heket's directory comment!

We have always had a veggie garden. We're growing broc and cabbage right now although I think we planted too late because the cabbage isn't giving us much. The broc is though. We do a big veggie garden in the spring/summer but I'd like to plant some herbs, all kinds really, this year. I'm making a note to find a book for growing herbs in my region.

-Rachel

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#147 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 06:11 PM
 
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I don't know how this page got to be so wide!

For my garden, I am planting herbs for medicinal and magickal purposes and I am also planning a vegetable and a couple of fruits!

I am so excited about it!

Married to a Navy man of 12 yrs.

03/02: 11/05: 01/08: 10-18-09: 10-31-10 and 7/22/13 with twins and just found out we're pos.gif again!!chicken3.gif

 

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#148 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 06:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BurtsGirl View Post
Whoa, lots of good chat and I just got all caught up! Sat was my birthday and DW took me to see some snow in the mountains! We had a great time but had to come home that night because we needed to insem with the doc at 7:30am on Sunday. That also went well except I'm a little sore still. Otherwise my birthday was awesome.
What a great gift! You've been coveting snow. How did the insem go? I was thinking of you. Sore? What does an insem involve?
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#149 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 06:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just learned that I'll be offline (involuntarily I might add) for about a week starting on the 10th.... gah!

The buyer called to ask if we could be totally out of the house by the 9th and I laughed. Barring a miracle I'm thinking even Friday is a bit wishful. I've told DH we need to go out to dinner tonight to the local Friendlys (ice cream and americana family restaurant) since I'm not one to underestimate the magical abilities of large ice cream sundaes.

I am looking forward to having a real garden this year since we'll have land. But I don't know what grows well, what the soil is like, what pests are common, etc. I was just getting into the groove here (only took me 4 years to figure out what worked ) and now I've got tons more space and even more time... but the knowledge base is gone again! Another adventure but hopefully more fun that this pack/move journey I'm on right now.

I saw rose and berry canes when I visited in November, and it looks like a previous resident had rhubbarb and hostas. Squash usually does well here, as does basil (in all it's flavors). I love growing sage, chamomile, thyme, valerian, echinacea, mint and rosemary (all "helpful witchy" herbs imo). Tomato, leafy greens, maybe eggplant and peppers. Nothing like making a fresh loaf of bread, picking some fresh tomatos and some basil and then drizzling it all with olive oil before popping it under the broiler for a moment. Mmmmmm! And dh wants to plant some fruit trees... he misses the apple farm he grew up on and I know he'll want to put in apple trees right off the bat even if they wont be producing by the time we move in 3-4 years.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
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#150 of 524 Old 01-07-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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Ok, I just read the last few pages I missed and there's no way I'll ever be able to reply to each and everyone I want to. I'm really happy for everyone who is riding the high waves now! And good luck to everyone trying to catch a wave.

I was raised Roman Catholic in a very religious family. We did prayer rings where we'd kneel for hours saying the rosary and going through stories over and over again. We made advent and lent wreaths, we had to give up candy for 6 whole weeks for both events.
I was very active in the church, I taught two years of grade three catchechism, I read in mass, I coordinated and ran the preschoolers in-church group. I volunteered with the Knights of Columbus for many, many years. My uncle was the Grand Knight.
My grandfather was also RC, but he was also very spiritual. He had a spiritual guide, his dead sister, and he consulted her before he made ANY decision. He and my grandmother had 9 children and he encouraged all of them, maybe encourage is too slack a word, he forced them to find their own spiritual guides using oujia boards and they spent hours every day after school communing with their guides as to the path their lives would take. Most of my aunts seriously resent the way he did this, and all of them say they lied when they told him of the success they were having communing.
He astral travelled and was a medium as well. My aunts did not like him much as they got older. None of them respected him as a person and barely respected him as a father.
I inherited my grandfathers ability to commune with "other" worlds. I've been what he called a beacon for spirits since I was a child. When I told my mom or aunts about the things I saw, they said I was making it up and was punished for lying.
When I was a kid I was FULL of questions.. I wanted to know WHY, and WHEN and HOW constantly. I drove nearly everyone around me mad. As I grew up and found my strength I began to question the church, and after a HUGE blowout with the priest, I left.
I was raised with alot of faith, and after I lost faith in my beliefs I felt confused and disoriented. I had all this faith and no where to put it. So I began to learn. I added alot of religious anthropology courses to my program and began to seek a path. I learned for nearly 4 years. I was given an assignment to research a belief system that we knew very little about. So I researched paganism and by extension due to the people I contacted, wicca. I had read alot of books about the history of it, the basic tenets of its foundations, but I didn't know anything about the practicality of it, or the possiblity of being pagan. I've always had a connection to the spiritual world, but never tried to learn my gift. I've had the incessant pull to nature, I crave her, I need her, I love her and feel most at peace when I'm with her.
The people I met and the Samhain ritual I attended was a gong show. During the ritual I was solemn and attentive, but everyone else was giggling, fooling around, laughing and making jokes. It seemed like a "show" to me, and it was distasteful. I wrote my paper about them, and my search for a path ended.
I had a hard time with the pantheistic approach to paganism. Slowly over the years I have formed my own beliefs. I believe in the Goddess and God, together. Their balance makes sense to me.
I don't perform alot of ritual, tho its been years, the ritual of the church has left a bad taste in my mouth. I commune with Her, I seek Light and knowledge. My garden is my connection to the earth. There I grow the food and herbs that feed and nurture my family. I open circles and give gifts and ask for guidance and strength. I don't own an athame, or a wand. I don't need them. I study herbs and history.
This is a bit disjointed, I'm sorry. I'm high on medicine so please bear with me. I can elaborate in the places I've left somewhat bare later. I think this post is long enough.
I just wanted to share where I come from and give you a basic idea of who I am.

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