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#1 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This thread and hopefully more like it is intended for thise of us who would like support for living the LDS faith without criticism and negativity. If we have struggles with certain aspects of the Gospel, those experiences are welcome. However, if you don't like or disagree with established doctrine, Church publications or programs, or the apostles or prophets, we ask that you reserve those kinds of comments and discussions for other threads.

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Thank you, and I hope this thread will be a source of comfort, encouragement and inspiration instead of discord or defensiveness.
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#2 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 07:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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To start us off on the right foot, here are some discussions I would love to have with you.

1. What have been your most succesful family nights with toddlers?

2. What are your favorite books written by Church leaders and LDS authors?

3. How has the AP and NFL enhanced your spirituality?
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#3 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:29 PM
 
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1. What have been your most succesful family nights with toddlers?
We did a few that involved watching a veggietale and then talking about the scripture story and/or the lesson learned from it. For example, one night we watched the "Daniel" segment (not the other half of the movie) and talked about prayer, how to pray, when to pray, etc. We tried to stick to the ones that were more scripture story and less pure silliness...
We've also done acting out scripture stories.
One major thing I think is to never underestimate the understanding of a child--they 'get' so much more than we usually give them credit for.
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2. What are your favorite books written by Church leaders and LDS authors?
Hmmm...John Bytheway wrote one about the priesthood that my mom said is GREAT (haven't read it yet myself) but she said every family with a son should get the book and use it in preparation for his ordination.

We just ordered "Preach My Gospel" and we are going to use it to help Willy as he's preparing to be baptized this summer.

I don't care for LDS fiction as a general rule. There is jut better stuff out there.


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3. How has the AP and NFL enhanced your spirituality?
I think more than anything it's taught me to rely more on the spirit as I make decisions. The more I learn of gentle discipline, for example, the more I realize that some of the things I was raised with (the things that come easily to me) are not Christlike...so I am forced to turn to the Lord for guidance for what I SHOULD do.
In particular to NFL, I think the more we seek to be in harmony with all of the world (environmental awareness, peaceful human interaction, non-interventitive health, etc) the more we are in tune with the Spirit. Christ made all of these things for us, and when we behave in a respectful way, we are able to be aware of so much more of creation... just my perspective on that anyway!!! (Hubby says I should go be a wiccan in the woods and he's probably right...I have odd moments where I am sorely tempted to start a mormon/pagan sect!)

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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#4 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:31 PM
 
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I'll bite

I love the Children of The Promise series. I feel like it taught me a lot about the different wars and how those with faith dealt with it.

FHE is interesting in our house. We mostly just pick a story our of the friend and have that for our lesson. We're a work in progress. I'm mostly overcoming my own issues with not having it growing up.
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#5 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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Here's a question--how do you go abuot teaching a child 'no'???
Sam is 13months old. He really loves to get into the dog's kennel (where her food and water dishes are) and splash in her water and put her kibble in the water etc. We are not in the habit of closing the dog into the kennel--more it is 'her space' where she can go to get out of the way, have her dinner in peace, etc. We try to respect it as her space, and if she goes in there we leave her alone.
Sam doesn't get the 'her space' thing though. We have pulled him out of the kennel countless times, and held him and looked him in the eye and said clearly 'no'. We're not yelling or anything, just making sure he hears us. Several times we've locked the door of the kennel so that he can't get in, but I hate to lock the dog in or out (I don't want her to feel punished, nor do I want her kept away from her water dish!) Sam will often go up to the door of the kennel, turn and catch my eye, then shake his head 'no' (with a grin) then turn and crawl in... I think he understands that he should not go in, however he continues to do it. I appreciate that teh water splashing is fun etc, but this is something he needs to learn, and I don't know anything else to do except constantly just pulling him out again and again and again...this has been going on for a couple of months now, and we're getting really tired of it.
Ideas? Suggestions?
The dog is very good and gentle with him, but she deserves to have a place where she can go to get away from the ear-pulling and over-zealous hugs too!

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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#6 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:43 PM
 
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Cubby ... er ... I mean Bryan here.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#7 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:43 PM
 
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When you said he likes to splash, maybe you could give him his own container to splash with and teach him which is his and which is the dogs. Thats really my only thought. i can't really remember how I taught my boys no. I guess I'll have to remember when this baby is old enough
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#8 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:46 PM
 
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A neighbor of mind recently saw that show "The Mormons" which aired on PBS last spring...I guess it aired here last week. She had never met a mormon until us, and had been curious. She actually commented that she had been wanting to ask me some things and then voila, there was the show. So she watched it (all 4 hours) and then asked me lots of questions. I was curious about what the show covered--wondering whether there were more things she should be asking, you know? Stuff they left out or were vague about etc. I didn't see it when it initially came out. Anyway, I've been watching it online here, and it's been really interesting.
I'm wondering if others of you have seen it? What did you think of it? I feel like they tried really hard to present an objective view of things, but that some of their sources (some of the people they interviewed) were anything but objective... For example they had a woman who had been excommunicated for articles she had written saying that women should have the priesthood and that we should worship Heavenly Mother too. She seemed to feel that LDS women are really held down by the patriarchal culture of the religion. (I know we talked about some of that stuff after Sister Beck's talk last fall).

Anyway, yeah, I'm just wondering if anyone else here has seen it, and what they thought of it...(?)

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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#9 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 08:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Connor didn't care at that age. Our job was to remove the distraction more than anything else! I think it takes until 3 before a child can be reasoned with - until then they know we don't want it but don't know why that is more important than what he wants. Does that make sense? It does in my head...

1. We don't have FHE since Connor became a toddler so that's why I ask for the suggestions. It's something I know would make a tremendous difference in our family - it just seems overwhelming to create spiritual experiences for a two year old.

2. I actually really like Chieko Okasaki. It's seems cheesy but I really did find her books uplifting. I also like the book Believing Christ and should probably read it again.

3. I agree with Jenni - AP has made me rely more on prayer and inspiration. It's not easy to do the gentle thing in lieu of the thing that will work now. I also think that things like baby wearing and co-sleeping help me feel so much more connected to my role as a mother.

For NFL, we've been encouraged to be wise stewards over the earth. WE've also been told that when we obey the laws of health, we will receive wisdom. I think that showing God that we care about our bodies and the earth He gave us in return shows God that we can be trusted to love and care for His gifts.
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#10 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A neighbor of mind recently saw that show "The Mormons" which aired on PBS last spring...I guess it aired here last week. She had never met a mormon until us, and had been curious. She actually commented that she had been wanting to ask me some things and then voila, there was the show. So she watched it (all 4 hours) and then asked me lots of questions. I was curious about what the show covered--wondering whether there were more things she should be asking, you know? Stuff they left out or were vague about etc. I didn't see it when it initially came out. Anyway, I've been watching it online here, and it's been really interesting.
I'm wondering if others of you have seen it? What did you think of it? I feel like they tried really hard to present an objective view of things, but that some of their sources (some of the people they interviewed) were anything but objective... For example they had a woman who had been excommunicated for articles she had written saying that women should have the priesthood and that we should worship Heavenly Mother too. She seemed to feel that LDS women are really held down by the patriarchal culture of the religion. (I know we talked about some of that stuff after Sister Beck's talk last fall).

Anyway, yeah, I'm just wondering if anyone else here has seen it, and what they thought of it...(?)
I haven't seen it. Thank you for sharing the link. That may be an interesting FHE activity, actually - to watch it together and see what we think...
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#11 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 09:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cubby ... er ... I mean Bryan here.

M - I - C...see you real soon! K - E - Y....why? Because we LIKE you! M - O - U - S - EEEEEEEEEE!!!!
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#12 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 09:38 PM
 
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I would love to be a part of this thread and I thank you for starting it.

I need to go have FHE but I will be back tomorrow to participate.

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#13 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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I'm really emotionally drained today. We're dealing with dental problems and I don't like the way they are being approached. Plus my DD1 is running on 10 hours of sleep (she needs 12-13 to act normally) and I'm feeling overwhelmed today.

Mama to DD (5) DD (3) and DS (2 months)
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#14 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 09:56 PM
 
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And the day gets better... my DD2 just peed in my shoe.

Mama to DD (5) DD (3) and DS (2 months)
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#15 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 10:03 PM
 
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Hi all! I will endeavor to keep up, although I really suck at it. Let's see...

1. What have been your most successful FHE with toddlers?

Um...getting ice cream at the creamery?
Seriously, though, the best FHE's have been when we haven't set our expectations too high. There is no way a toddler can sit for more than 5 - 10 minutes or so. We got this really great book called 52 Weeks of Family Nights that we have used a lot. I'll be glad to let you borrow it, Alisa. It's basically set up for those of us who have families with young children and just often do not have the time to sit and plan this super duper FHE. It has 52 different lessons on things such as tithing, baptism, missionary work, etc. Each lesson has a preselected song, scripture and then a 2 or 3 minute lesson. In the back there are 52 different pictures/numbers that correspond to the lessons, and if you want to you can cut them out and laminate them and each week let a child draw them out of a bag and viola! Your FHE is done! We were to lazy to cut and laminate, so we just open and point. We throw in a game and a treat to round things out.

2. What are your favorite church books?

Well, I have to say my all time favorite is Eve and the Choice Made in the Garden of Eden It's a fabulous study of Woman's beginning which looks at the actual Hebrew text along with what prophets have said to really show how Eve was integral to the plan and actually doing exactly what Heavenly Father wanted her to do. I recommend it to all those who feel conflicted about women's roles in the church. I also pretty much like any books by comedic members of the church. I like my gospel with a lot of humor. Um, let's see...I like the books that really look at doctrinal issues deeply, and tease out the things in them that often we as members do not realize are there, I guess some of the more controversial topics within the church. I do like Jack Weyland - you can hate me all you want.

3. How has AP/NFL enhanced my spirituality?

I think that APs emphasis on respecting your children as their own individual selves, whose importance is equal to mine really brings me into remembrance that although ds and dd are my children now, when we were in the Spirit World, we were brother and sisters, both children of God, and gods in embryo. My job is not to raise subjective "yes" men, but to raise a future god and goddess, who will have the internal compass to rule worlds and principalities. While popular methods for raising uber obedient, super independent children may have returns in mortality, I am interested in treating my children as my co heirs in godhood, with the greatest returns to come beyond this life. I want to foster a close, attached relationship with my children that will teach them the type of relationship they should have with their Heavenly Parents.

As for NFL, I agree with what has been said previously that the gospel teaches us that we are supposed to live in harmony with the earth and nature. NFL helps me more fully to do that. 'Subjugate the Earth' does not mean 'Use it and Abuse it until there is nothing left.' Once again, we are learning how to be gods and goddesses, and we have to know how to respect and balance the elements to do that. I mean, Heavenly Father (or HF as I will hence forth and forever in posting refer to Him as) had to subjugate the elements and intelligences in order to form our universe, and he mananged to create all of the wonder we see without overwhelming or destroying the free will of the elements and intelligences involved. Isn't that what we should be striving for, also?

Does any of that make sense??

, , , and
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#16 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 10:04 PM
 
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And the day gets better... my DD2 just peed in my shoe.
It's always so much fun to get bodily fluid on ourselves...

, , , and
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#17 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 10:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And the day gets better... my DD2 just peed in my shoe.

Ha ha ha - I shouldn't laugh but I just washed our bed twice in one week because the kids BOTH wet the bed, DD while she was sleeping on my chest...

For you!
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#18 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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It's always so much fun to get bodily fluid on ourselves...
LOL... I wasn't actually wearing the shoe at the time. Though she managed to pee on me at the same time. For three days in a row, she had zero accidents. Today, so far, at least 5. Ugh.

Mama to DD (5) DD (3) and DS (2 months)
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#19 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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LOL... I wasn't actually wearing the shoe at the time. Though she managed to pee on me at the same time. For three days in a row, she had zero accidents. Today, so far, at least 5. Ugh.

I think I can top that!
Last Christmas we were staying with my folks in WA. hubby had to leave two days earlier than we (me and the boys) so he could bring the van up on the ferry (we flew). So for a couple of days it was just me with the boys...that's all fine and dandy unless Will (7) has trouble in the night...which one night he did. He is a very heavy sleeper, so when he needs to use the toilet in the night, he often needs someone to help him figure out that that is what he needs...he'll wake halfway, but not fully, and can't seem to figure out to walk to the toilet etc... SO, middle of the night, Will starts moaning and I realized what he needed. We were all sleeping in one little room though, so his moaning woke Sammy as well. So I snuggled Sam in and tried to talk Will into getting up--wasn't gonna happen, so I grabbed baby in one arm and pulled Will out of the bed. I walked him over to the potty but he was too asleep to get his pants down...so I'm doing the one-handed-yank trying to get them down for him (without waking baby too much). But he was also too asleep to hold himself to aim into the bowl...so yours truly held his penis and pointed it down........ the stream of pee stopped, so I let go, just as he had a little 'aftershock' of a few more drops--straight onto my pants.
Even with all of this, he still wasn't awake enough to even pull up his own pants. It's a good thing he can walk in his sleep or I'd REALLY be up a creek!

Needless to say, I hate nighttime parenting without a hubby.

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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#20 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 11:26 PM
 
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Jack Weyland
Who?

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#21 of 628 Old 02-18-2008, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Who?
He wrote Charly.

I've read quite a few of his books aimed at young adults. They generally have a theme like alcoholism, premarital sex, etc, and the problem is overcome by using the gospel and accepting the Atonement. I actually like them and, at the time, considered the information handy.
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#22 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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Our FHE's for a long time were out of the childrens songbook. We'd sing a bunch of songs, say a prayer, and eat some treats.
Even now when we start to notice the turning into "the fight that begins and ends with a prayer" we realize it is time to add more music, and it always fixes the problem. This usually happens when we have a 1-2 year old.
We've always memorized the primary scripture for the month. Toddlers are surprisingly good at memorizing. It takes very little time or preparation, and its pretty dang sweet to hear their little renditions.

If cs lewis counts, he is pretty amazing. So is neal a maxwell. I've listened to some okazaki and sheri dew and loved it all. I rarely come across a book I don't like, though. I read all the Work and Glory series 7-8 yrs ago and really enjoyed them. The hiding place is not a church book per se, but it is the first book I read that had a powerful effect on my testimony.

Learning about AP/NFL has made me a more conscientious parent and daughter of God. I've had experiences with both where I've gone too far or taken things in the wrong direction and those times have been very important growing experiences for me. Learning to fit an AP/ NFL lifestyle into the gospel instead of vice versa has been a continual learning experience.
It has changed me the most by helping me become a gentle, respectful parent instead of the control freak that is very much a part of my natural man.

My leg just got mustard-pooed on, and i am tired of typing 1 handed
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#23 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 12:45 AM
 
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Can I get some thoughts on a fairly un-related question? I can't decide on my own, and I wanted to ask somewhere that I'm fairly sure no interested parties would be reading.

I asked on my local AP group for some babysitting so DH and I could go out on a "last date" before the baby comes. We typically don't go out unless we have family visiting or are visiting family, so we don't have a regular babysitter. I thought a lot about it, and decided I'd feel more comfortable with an AP family watching my kids than most of the people I'd lean towards asking in my ward. Anyway, long-ish story short, I got a reply from a nice woman with 2 kids who would be happy to watch mine, could use the extra money, and is close to the location where we plan on going for our date. I replied that it sounded ideal, and I got her reply email, asking for $12/hr (we'd be gone probably 3-4 hours). Which is perfectly reasonable for two kids, quality care, and dinner for them both at the other family's home. Haven't set it in absolute stone yet. And of course, right when I got that email, I also go an email from one other AP mama who we've been getting close to, and whose kids are closer to my kids' ages, offering to watch them absolutely free as a baby-warming gift.

Of course I lean more towards having my kids watched for free with a family I'm more familiar with, whose kids my kids know and love.... but I almost feel a responsibility to follow through with the first offer, a woman who could use the extra money, since I was talking to her like I would definitely use her services (nobody else had offered yet when I sent my reply to her), even though it wasn't actually set in stone yet. And I don't want to seem rude by saying "sorry, going to go with someone else because they made an offer I couldn't refuse!", you know?

What would you do? :

SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

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#24 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 01:34 AM
 
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To start us off on the right foot, here are some discussions I would love to have with you.

1. What have been your most succesful family nights with toddlers?

We need help with this! The book with the 52 lessons sounds like something we should buy
2. What are your favorite books written by Church leaders and LDS authors?

I need to read more by church leaders. I'm especially interested in a Widstoe book about the WOW.
3. How has the AP and NFL enhanced your spirituality?
It has helped me listen to my instincts more which I believe are given by Heavenly Father. It has also helped me to take a deep breath and really think and pray about how I respond to dd (not that I don't have a long way to go). AP and NFL have really helped me learn more about gentle discipline which I think makes me a better parent. These parenting styles have really resonated with me since my parents were so opposite of them in some ways and because dd was not an easy going baby.

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#25 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 01:38 AM
 
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Seperate topic: Flannel board figures.
Any suggestions about making my own? Or somewhere that sells them for good price? My visiting teacher suggested cutting out pictures from the Friend and mounting them on poster board with a piece of flannel on the back. That sounds good, but I just wanted to know if anyone else has other suggestions. I'm all for simple ideas, there's no way I'd paint them etc right now.

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#26 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 03:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Leiahs - I would go with whichever one my children felt most comfortable with and explain it that way. I always want the most fun and least traumatic experience for my kids.

Shannon - will you bring your FHE book to playgroup this Thursday so Joy and I can look at it?
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#27 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 03:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Joy - one of my catalogs sells folding flannel boards pretty cheaply. As for making the figures, I would definitely say laminate them or mount them on card stock for durability.

Maybe one of these play dates, we should all make figures together!

PS - you can read the full text of Widtsoe's book here online:

http://www.ldsveg.org/WidtsoeWordOfW...rpretation.htm
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#28 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 04:35 AM
 
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Heh. I was a secretary in the Physics dept at Ricks college and Jack Weyland is one of the physics profs there.

Yay for this thread! I've introduced before, but I'll reintroduce. My name is Jen. I used to go by the SN 2Bugs but changed it. I was born and raised LDS as was my DH and we were married in the Oakland Temple in 1998. I have an almost-5-yr old and an almost-3-yr old and an embryo of 6 weeks

1. What have been your most succesful family nights with toddlers? Are we talking FHE or just any? At the moment, we aren't really doing a regular FHE, which is something I need to work on. However, we do read gospel stories with our kids on a regular basis and we sing primary songs and have family prayer as the bedtime routine every night.

Probably our most successful family activity was putting in a garden. It really struck me how inspired the Prophet (which one was it? Kimball?) was when he said to grow a garden. The whole family gets involved, outdoors away from the TV. We had discussions while we worked side-by-side and taught our kids about planting, watering, etc. It's definitely not just about growing food!


2. What are your favorite books written by Church leaders and LDS authors? I'm not big into LDS fiction. In fact I really dislike most of what I've read. I'm more of a classics girl myself. I did enjoy Letters by Sister Hinckley though.

3. How has the AP and NFL enhanced your spirituality? AP has definitely affected my spirituality. For me it just came down to being the Christ-like way to parent. I can't imagine the Savior striking a child or leaving them to cry in a darkened room because they "need" to learn how to put themselves to sleep. But I CAN imagine him gently taking the child aside to discuss how to do something better or parenting a child to sleep. I feel like I've gotten to know the Savior better by trying to be like him. When I'm angry and wanting to act on it towards one of my children, it really helps me to think of Him and how He would react. Having a prominent painting of him in our home helps too It's really hard to yell at your spouse or kids when the Savior is staring down at you from the wall!

NFL--this is a work in progress for us, but we do cloth diaper, recyle, try to eat whole foods. For me this boils down to being good stewards over the earth and our bodies.

Jen

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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#29 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 04:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Seperate topic: Flannel board figures.
Any suggestions about making my own? Or somewhere that sells them for good price? My visiting teacher suggested cutting out pictures from the Friend and mounting them on poster board with a piece of flannel on the back. That sounds good, but I just wanted to know if anyone else has other suggestions. I'm all for simple ideas, there's no way I'd paint them etc right now.
It seems like I saw a big set of them on the Church Distribution website a while back. I can't remember how much they cost.

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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#30 of 628 Old 02-19-2008, 04:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Tiger Lilly - we were married in the Oakland Temple in Dec 1999! NewCrunchyDaddy is from Castro Valley and I'm from Livermore.
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