Quiverful Tribe: It's Spring/Summer 2008! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The purpose of this tribe is to offer and receive encouragement and support for a quiverful lifestyle. That is, a lifestyle which embraces children as a blessing from God, and acknowledges that it is God who is the keeper of the womb, both opening and shutting it. We welcome all who strive to trust God's wisdom in directing and shaping our families, as well as those who are learning about and prayerfully considering this lifestyle.

We also welcome respectful questions and comments from anyone who is curious! We willingly admit that yes, we are totally nuts! (and we love every minute! )

Psalm 127:3-5
3) Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4) As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
5) Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.


~ ~ ~ ~ : ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ : ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ : ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ : ~ ~ ~ ~

QF Babies On The Way!!

Kidzaplenty EDD: 07/24/08 Baby #9

happy & blessed EDD: 10/10/08 Baby #2

rstump EDD: 12/16/08 Baby #5 :

jewellz EDD: 12/23/08 Baby #4

100%mom EDD: 12/28/08 Baby #3

~~Mama2B~~ EDD: 01/07/09 Baby #2

Kimmiepie EDD: 01/30/09 Baby #4

momtokimari EDD: 04/20/09 Baby #2



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Little Ones Awaiting Us In Heaven

rjruiz_415 EDD: 02/05/09 Baby #3 Went Home: 06/06/08


canadiannancy EDD: 01/14/09 Baby #4 Went Home: 06/10/08

Please feel free to PM me with any additions/corrections/updates! I'll add info as quickly as I am able!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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#2 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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LOOK! My Wee One will be here before we run out of thread this time!

My Intro:

I am Jenny, mom of eight, soon to be nine children, though two now reside with Jesus. My oldest just turned 18 and my youngest just turned 4 (and the new arrival is expected in late July).

I am an ordinary person, really.

I am a Christian QF, HS, HB/UC, Non-vax and so on Mom. I love children and large families.

I guess that is about it for me. I am not anything special, just a fly on the wall mostly, watching and listening to everything.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#3 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 01:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Please post introductions, whatever you feel like sharing!

I'm Sarah, wife to Michael and Mama to Elisha (age 6), Maggie (age 4), Andrew (age 2) and Bethany (4 months). I was raised in a "mostly" quiverful family, and am one of 7 children (5 bio, 2 adopted). I always felt like I was meant to have a larger family, but my dh has only one twin sister, and he has no first cousins--his father was an only child and his mother only has one brother, childless-by-choice! Thus, his idea of what a "large" family is, was obviously quite different from mine!

We are both "almost completely" quiverful. I use ecological breastfeeding and nothing else (and really that is more about ensuring that their needs are met, and not so much about child spacing). He freaks out with each pregnancy (and again every time AF returns, LOL!) and insists that "this is it!" Then we argue, hurt each other's feelings, pout, and then finally reconcile, come together, and turn to God, pray, forgive, stop fretting, and feel closer than ever.... and then we make another baby, LOL! heheheh......well, it would be nice to cut out all that stuff that comes before the "turn to God" part, but we are only human....

Anyway, right now we are in the stage of him wanting to consider methods of prevention, but not wanting to really have to do the work of researching, and me just sorta biding my time....of course, I will absolutely honor his decision, whatever it may be, but I feel sure that this is--as it has been in the past--simply a time of him needing to sort things out on his own so that he can let go of his worry. And as soon as he does, I'll prolly freak out and worry about getting pregnant again while the baby is still so young, and losing my milk, and having to supplement, and what will people say, and......

Well, I feel sure I'm not the first to have those thoughts sneak up on me, LOL! And that, IMO, is what this tribe is here for!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
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#4 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 02:43 AM
 
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Hi Im Jackie-wife to Rafael. Weve got 2 kids, age 3 and 19 months We do the same thing, pp lol- worry, fret, argue, hurt feelings, pray, turn to God, all of that Except we havent yet made a QF baby-lol. All the worry tends to happen around the middle of the month I just brought up the idea to DH after our daughter was born So now were just waiting to see what happens

Jackie and Rafael (4/15/04)
DS (4/25/05) my unschooled airbending pokemon wizard 
DD (10/05/06) my spirited pixie, who weaned at 3 yrs 10 months
DD (7/27/09) my UC water baby - I mean toddler!

DS (2/21/12) UC #2! My littlest love

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#5 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 02:59 AM
 
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Hi, I'm Roxie, and I'm actually NOT a qf mama, although I would LOVE to be. But my husband isn't on board with that. I pray that God's will be done and that my dh will change his mind, and maybe someday we will be, but for now I guess I will have to live vicariously through the forum.

I suppose it's still early for us, as we only have one dc, and I just got af back anyway. At any rate, I refuse to take hormonal birth control and he won't use condoms, so we're partway there. LOL

Anyway, I'm not like, officially "joining" the qf tribe, but I just wanted to let you all know that you have a fan!

Wife to dh and mommy to dd1 (3/07), ds (1/10), and dd2 (any day now)!

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#6 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 08:39 AM
 
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I'm Shannon (I don't really go by that here, I stick with my user name for simplicity, but it feels weird to indroduce myself with it!), dh and I have 4 kids, they're in my sig. We prayed about what we should do wrt our fertility after doing a bunch of reading and pondering when our first was a baby. We've been b/c free since then; kids are spaced by breastfeeding. So far, I've tandem nursed each toddler/baby pair.

My dh is the calmer, more trusting one when it comes to QF (and, really, pretty much everything else as well). There are 7 kids in his family and he saw his parents trusting and obeying and serving and always being supported, and I think that helps a lot.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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#7 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 12:35 PM
 
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Hi! I'll just go by M. I have two children DD 2 and DS 10 months. We just found out we are going to have another baby, but I didn't have any period so I don't know when I'm due. This is our 5th pg. 2 were MC's.

My DH and I have been quiverful since before we were married. Actually all our lives. We both came from quiverful families, but only some of our siblings are quiverful.

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#8 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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I am Renee...helpmeet to Forrest for 12 years this sunday.

Homeschooling Mama to Brittany (11), Madalynn (6), David (3), Ellie (1) and our 5th due near Christmas.

We have been QF minded since our second was born but due obstain much of the first PP year due to my hyper-emesis in pregnancy. So far...I am 7 weeks into this pregnancy and NO HG!!!
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#9 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 03:47 PM
 
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Hi! I'm m_m, almost 44yo wife to dh (50) and mother to 2 lovely girls, ages 8 and 3.

It's exciting to see all the familiar faces, as well as some new ones!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#10 of 384 Old 05-02-2008, 08:30 PM
 
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I'm Jaclyn, mommy to dd, 22 months old, and pregnant with our second, due in October.
We have been qf since a few months before dd was conceived - before that we were using chemical birth control (of course, I had NO idea it was an abortificient!).
Currently, dh is questioning the whole qf thing.... I'm praying and trusting that God will lead him to make the right decision for our family.
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#11 of 384 Old 05-03-2008, 01:16 AM
 
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Hello!

My name is Kim. I'm wife to Michael and mommy to Hannah (7), Aidan (6) and Brighton (2).

My dh and I have recently made HUGE "religious" strides and have turned our lives over to the Father. When talking to some friends who are quiverfull it suddenly dawned on me that perhaps there was something to it. We have been using FAM and withdrawl successfully and thought we were doing well by not messing with our bodies hormonally etc. But we were still preventing any blessings He chose to give us. So we've prayed, read scripture, and read books and have stopped using FAM and withdrawl. We didn't really even talk about it much, we just stopped...it was kind of understood that this was the right thing to do.

Mind you, I am SCARED. I have some health problems that have not been fixed (after years of spending too much money and getting the run around) and I don't know if they will be. My last pregnancy was difficult and it was then that I started developing these problems. I feel very led that this is what I am supposed to do, yet I am scared that my body will fail and I will die or something. I have some weird neurological stuff that no one can figure out (I think it was the flu vax I had while pregnant-ugh), ectopic heart beats that are majorly hormonally related and are very bad (and began during my last pregnancy) during pregnancy. Thyroid issues, estrogen dominance. So even though these problems are not immedietly life threatening..the heart thing worries me the most. What IF it's worsened and it stops beating or something? I've read up on ectopics and they are benign and seem harmless although annoying yet I can't stop worrying about it. I could really use some prayers and encouragement during this time.

I want to submit to the Lord and I feel like I'm doing the right thing, yet I can't fully put my trust in Him that I will be okay. Hubby is not worried about it, but I sure am.

Wow, that was a lot more info than I intended to give out. Anyway, this is our first month leaving it up to the Lord, so we will see what happens.

I'm glad there is a place where we can gather.

Kim, Wife to Michael, Homeschooling Mom to Hannah (13), Aidan (12), Brighton (8), and Oliver (5) and Ephraim (2) goorganic.jpgsaynovax.giffly-by-nursing1.giffemalesling.GIF 
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#12 of 384 Old 05-03-2008, 02:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fujiko View Post
Hi, I'm Roxie, and I'm actually NOT a qf mama, although I would LOVE to be. But my husband isn't on board with that. I pray that God's will be done and that my dh will change his mind, and maybe someday we will be, but for now I guess I will have to live vicariously through the forum.

I suppose it's still early for us, as we only have one dc, and I just got af back anyway. At any rate, I refuse to take hormonal birth control and he won't use condoms, so we're partway there. LOL

Anyway, I'm not like, officially "joining" the qf tribe, but I just wanted to let you all know that you have a fan!
Hi Roxie! Welcome! You know, I've gone back and forth on whether I can still call myself QF if dh does decide to ask me to do something to prevent. And I think I have justified it.....I think in a correct way, but of course, this is JMHO....

I am commanded first to be obedient and faithful unto God. And as a wife, God commands me first and foremost to honor my husband, and accept his headship and leadership for our family. God holds me accountable for honoring and upholding my husband. God holds my husband accountable for how he leads the family. So, I feel that in my heart, I *am* QF--my heart is open to the blessing of children, and I earnestly believe that God is in control of this aspect of my life, and that His wisdom is far greater than my own. I believe that He will open or shut my womb to His glory--in spite of my doubts and fears, and in spite of my dh's. I also believe that He can and will calm my dh's fears and give him peace with this issue--it is here, in this faith, that I am currently resting. And if my dh resists, what does that have to do with my heart and my faith in God? I am still open to the blessing of children in God's timing....I'm just trusting that God will work out any conflict that may exist between His perfect plan and dh's plan.

Anyway, all that to say this--I think you should claim the name of QF if you want it, and wear it proudly! Even as you honor your husband's leadership in this area--trust that God will work out the details! Chances are, He will do so in a way that is more amazing than you could have possibly imagined!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brisen View Post
My dh is the calmer, more trusting one when it comes to QF (and, really, pretty much everything else as well). There are 7 kids in his family and he saw his parents trusting and obeying and serving and always being supported, and I think that helps a lot.
This is interesting to me--we are much the same. I'm from the larger family, and I don't feel fearful about the practical stuff--I know that a) we don't need nearly as much "stuff" as most people think they just can't live without--we don't even need as much as we have been blessed with! And b) we will be provided for. We won't be left without, we won't be forsaken.

I think that growing up in a family where we did have to be creative with our resources, I am much more comfortable with the idea of cutting back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 100%mom View Post
My DH and I have been quiverful since before we were married. Actually all our lives. We both came from quiverful families, but only some of our siblings are quiverful.
I would really like to hear more about growing up QF! As I said in my intro, my own parents were "mostly" QF...they never prevented, and they never really tried for any of us (never had to, LOL!) but they never talked about it. Never told us their opinions on bc or NFP or anything......I honestly don't know for sure even now how they feel about such things! I only know that they never prevented because I asked my mom outright right before dh and I got married--he and I discussed the issue of birth control and he wanted me to use the pill, so I asked mom what she knew about it, and she told me she didn't know anything, because they "never saw the need to worry about it one way or the other."

I guess it's just one of those things they aren't comfortable discussing with their children for some reason :

Anyway, I have been thinking lately about how I hope to impart this value to my children, and I don't know yet. And I wonder how I would feel someday if one of my daughters chose the opposite path...I think it would hurt rather deeply. So, how do we raise these blessings in a way that our values are communicated to their hearts, in spite of the clamouring message of modern society?


Quote:
Originally Posted by rstump View Post
I am Renee...helpmeet to Forrest for 12 years this sunday.

Homeschooling Mama to Brittany (11), Madalynn (6), David (3), Ellie (1) and our 5th due near Christmas.

We have been QF minded since our second was born but due obstain much of the first PP year due to my hyper-emesis in pregnancy. So far...I am 7 weeks into this pregnancy and NO HG!!!
Happy anniversary, Renee! : And woot on the no HG, too!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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#13 of 384 Old 05-04-2008, 02:42 AM
 
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I'm Bri. I have one dd (14 months). We're not really quite all the way to QF yet but I'm pretty sure we're making it there. DH isn't very religious. We had a talk the other night though, and he does believe that life begins with conception and that taking HBC that causes m/c is a bad idea. And we don't use condoms. I still have my b/c in : just because we have a plan right now that we don't want to change, but after it comes out in August, I think we're just going to leave it to God and breastfeeding. DH does have his qualms about having loads of kids, which is only natural I suppose. Hopefully we'll be able to move to a bigger place this summer, and he can quit his worrying. And lately, thanks in part to talking on here, I'm feeling the fear of more preemies slipping away.

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#14 of 384 Old 05-04-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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Okay, I'm officially going to delurk and ask a question. I'm not QF (I'm not married, so, to me, it is a completely moot point!), but I've been watching this thread (well, the previous one) with interest for a few months. I do plan on having a big family someday, but not necessarily being QF. Anyway, on to the question!

I understand that being QF means not preventing, but does that include not using abstinence? Also, does it mean not ever *trying* for a baby? Would it be wrong for someone who's QF to do IVF, or other fertility treatments? I realize that being QF could mean different things for different people, so I'd love to hear what it means to each of you.

Okay, my question turned into questionS, sorry! Anyway, I hope you don't mind my invasion.

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#15 of 384 Old 05-04-2008, 10:32 PM
 
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Checking in. Will be back

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#16 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 01:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post
I understand that being QF means not preventing, but does that include not using abstinence? Also, does it mean not ever *trying* for a baby? Would it be wrong for someone who's QF to do IVF, or other fertility treatments? I realize that being QF could mean different things for different people, so I'd love to hear what it means to each of you.
Welcome!

Here's how I see it:

WRT abstinence, I'm not entirely sure....I don't know if there's a cut-and-dried answer. I think it is something about which each couple has to seek God together, in prayer, and come to an understanding. I do think that God will give peace. As far as I know, the only scripture that directly deals with abstinence in marriage is I Corinthians 7:5 "Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."

To me, that doesn't sound like it really has anything to do with pregnancy prevention at all. IMO, it is talking about abstinence as something a couple might consider during a period of prayer and fasting....they may be facing a problem that they want to focus on spiritually, and do so through prayer and fasting--denying themselves sexual gratification with each other at this time might increase their commitment to the issue about which they are praying, if that makes sense.....

Anyway, that's how I see it......I do not see how planned abstinence for the specific purpose of avoiding conception would fit into the QF mentality. Especially considering that God created us to be most receptive and desirous of a sexual union during the period at which we are most likely to conceive!

As for TTC: The bible tells us that children are a blessing from God. And it tells us to seek out God's blessings. Ergo, we should seek out having children, see? There is no wrong in seeking to have children. Meaning, understanding our biological patterns and having sex when we know conditions are favorable! And if children don't seem to be coming, then we can pray and beseech God for children, we can seek to improve our health if we think there might be some physical problem that is keeping us from conceiving, and we can seek to bring children into our families through adoption, which is also clearly sanctioned by God (after all, as Christians, we believe we are all the adopted children of God, right?)

So basically, we feel that God designed our bodies to produce children. If our bodies aren't working as they were designed to work, then we are well within our rights to do whatever we can to try to heal our bodies. But birth control is just the opposite. It is not fixing what is broken, but rather interfering with a healthy, normally functioning body.

As far as using technology such as IVF to bring about children, my own personal belief is that it is not wrong to use technology to assist our fertility. But we are obligated to fully understand the technology we choose, and to be certain that it does not compromise God's standards. I don't know a lot about IVF, but before going to that step, I would need to examine God's word, my beliefs, and the technology and make sure they all line up. If a large number of my eggs were harvested and fertilized during the IVF process, what would I do with all of them, since I belief that life begins at the moment of conception? If multiple embryos were implanted and survived being implanted, how would I face the high-risk pregnancy, and how would I face the possible suggestion to "reduce" the number in order to achieve a more "favorable" outcome? There's a lot to think about.....I do not believe that the technology of IVF is wrong, or contrary to the principles of QF, but I think that it behooves us to be extremely thoughtful and careful about how--or if--we use such technology.

Honestly, for myself, I hope that in that situation I would choose not to go through the IVF process, but rather pray that God would grant me the opportunity to adopt, and give me peace about not giving birth to biological children. It would be a difficult thing, and I don't pretend to understand the pain of infertility, but I do have first-hand knowledge (my parents are foster parents, and during the years of my childhood, we had many many foster children in our family) of how many children there are out there that need families!

Anyway, I hope that helps!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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#17 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 10:45 AM
 
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Sarah, the last post was well said!! I have to agree with you on it.

As for growing up quiverful, my parents actually didn't talk about it. The only times it came up was when they heard someone was on birthcontrol. Then they would talk about that and how they didn't agree. They were always excited to hear when someone was having another baby.

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#18 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post
I understand that being QF means not preventing, but does that include not using abstinence? Also, does it mean not ever *trying* for a baby? Would it be wrong for someone who's QF to do IVF, or other fertility treatments? I realize that being QF could mean different things for different people, so I'd love to hear what it means to each of you.

Okay, my question turned into questionS, sorry! Anyway, I hope you don't mind my invasion.
OK, this is from my personal beliefs and in way is a judgement on anyone else that believes differently.

I understand that being QF means not preventing, but does that include not using abstinence?
I do not believe in abstinence other than for short (very short) period of times for prayer (as is stipulated in the Bible). That does not mean two or three days every month to prevent.

I find that when the timing is not right that "thing" come into play that prevent DH and I from coming together. Thus, we "abstain" because of circumstances not because of "choice to prevent". We find that this is all part of God's timing, not ours.

Also, does it mean not ever *trying* for a baby?
Being QF means not ever trying, correct. That does not mean that I may not hope. Or that I may not know I am fertile. I can know I am fertile and I can know that the potential can exist, and I can feel REALLY interested in DH, and it would not be wrong to initiate time together.

The difference is when I start taking my temp and "waiting" until the "right" time, and then DTD with the sole intention of "making a baby". This not only cheapens the intimate time but puts pressure and stress on a time that is supposed to bring the couple together. AND, it tries to remove the decision from God's hands and make it our own. Sort of like when Sarah "gave" her servant to her husband because she was impatient. It did not work out well for them.

Would it be wrong for someone who's QF to do IVF, or other fertility treatments?
I believe that God has plans for each and every one of us and that some people He has designed to not have children. And some He has designed to wait longer than others. And some He has designed to be nominally fertile and other very fertile.

I believe we should trust Him to provide what He desires for us to have, no matter how long it takes.

I also believe that doing IVF and such fertility treatments is trying to play "god" and removing (or attempting to) the decision from God's hands. I believe it is wrong and not Biblical.

Again, these are my beliefs, not meant to judge others. But these are beliefs that I believe can be backed up by Scripture either specifically or by example.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#19 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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i have to agree with kidzaplenty I think that abstaining for the sole purpose of not concieving does not align with the underlying theme of trusting God. By doing this, you are trying to control when you conceive, or rather when you dont concieve. The TTC thing, well really it is the same as above- you are trying to control when you concieve. I have an idea of when i ovulate (based on cm) but like pp said, charting, temping, all of that is taking it in to your hands, and out of Gods hands. Now for the IVF issue- i have never had trouble conceiving (we tryed 3 m for DS, and 1st try for DD) b4 we became QF. But i do believe that IVF and clomid, etc- anything trying to alter how your body works, is, again, taking the control (or at least trying to ) out of God's hands.

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DD (7/27/09) my UC water baby - I mean toddler!

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#20 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 07:30 PM
 
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I think Sarah and Jenny were both well spoken. I think it's one of those things you need to take up personally with God. Pray about it. And some fertility treatments may feel right while others feel wrong.

I'm against IVF if you aren't using all your embryos. Say you freeze 6, use 3 and get pregnant that first time. Wht are you doing with the rest of them? I feel, personally, that clomid is another story. In the usual doses, you get one baby. It's just a bit of a horomonal jump start. But if it's just children you want, why not adopt? Why spend the money trying to get pregnant when you could give a home to a child without one?

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#21 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 07:41 PM
 
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I'd also like to add that I've started the search for a QF minded church. I don't know if there are any in the area, but if there are I will find them... and then spend weeks convincung DH to go.

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#22 of 384 Old 05-05-2008, 10:16 PM
 
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I'm Kristi. I haven't been here in a million years, so I'll introduce myself again!

I'm happily married, have a 1 year old daughter named Ziva and an pregnant with #2. I recently moved to Alaska and am training to be a doula. We're Messianic and becoming a bit more crunchy as the months and years go by.

I'm tossing around what sort of birth I want to have- I may attempt a UC (I tried that the first time and didn't quite get it )...) or having an attended home waterbirth.

I'm happy to see this tribe is still alive and kicking!

Kristi

Kristi wife to Mal , mom to Ziva (4/07) (3/08) Aliyah (1/09) and somebody new (edd 11/10). I
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#23 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ~~Mama2B~~ View Post

I'm happily married, have a 1 year old daughter named Ziva and an pregnant with #2.
Welcome back Kristi!! and congratulations on the pg

Jackie and Rafael (4/15/04)
DS (4/25/05) my unschooled airbending pokemon wizard 
DD (10/05/06) my spirited pixie, who weaned at 3 yrs 10 months
DD (7/27/09) my UC water baby - I mean toddler!

DS (2/21/12) UC #2! My littlest love

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#24 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 01:55 PM
 
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Welcome back Kristi!! and congratulations on the pg
Hi again! Thanks!

Kristi wife to Mal , mom to Ziva (4/07) (3/08) Aliyah (1/09) and somebody new (edd 11/10). I
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#25 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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I basically agree with Jenny -- but what about a woman I know who had surgery because of endometriosis, which enabled her to get pregnant the first time, and then she went on to have another four children? Should she have never had the corrective surgery?

Or are you just talking about extreme measures like IVF? Would you see it as okay to get help to correct a disorder that's keeping you from conceiving -- or would you feel that the person with the disorder should just accept that they weren't designed to have children, or just trust that if they are supposed to have children, God will heal them or work around the disorder?

Incidentally, I was so impatient to conceive after dd1 was born, that as soon as AF returned (when she was 21 months old), I started trying to watch for fertility signs. I didn't chart or take temps or anything -- but there were times when I was sure I was fertile, but no baby! It was only when I gave up trying, that God blessed us with dd2.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#26 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 07:43 PM
 
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Again, just my opinion, but having surgery to correct a physical problem is not the same (to me) as fertility treatments. Because you are not "making" yourself pg, you are only "fixing" a problem that is preventing pgcy and then allowing God to provide a pgcy when He feels it is best for you. This would go along with some hormonal imbalances that may cause you to m/c.

I don't consider "fixing" a problem the same as going out of your way to concieve. However, when you take meds to enhance your egg production or actually go to implanting embrios or artifical insemination, that is going out of your way to "force" a pgcy and take the roll of God.

I, too, have found that the times I REALLY wanted to be pg, I never would concieve (even when I know I was fertile), but when I let go and gave it to God, I would concieve very quickly.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#27 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 08:22 PM
 
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Gotcha! Thanks for clarifying!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#28 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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Back to the opposite... Doesn't it just seem odd for a married couple to not want kids? Or to worry about it? I've never felt so calm and great as I do right now, after making the decision to leave it to God's will. Unfortunately, I still have to wait for my husband's ok to go to the doctor and remove my implant. I'm thinking about asking tonight.

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#29 of 384 Old 05-06-2008, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ~~Mama2B~~ View Post
I'm Kristi. I haven't been here in a million years, so I'll introduce myself again!
...
I'm happy to see this tribe is still alive and kicking!

Kristi

SOOO glad to see you back here! I wondered where you were!

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Again, just my opinion, but having surgery to correct a physical problem is not the same (to me) as fertility treatments. Because you are not "making" yourself pg, you are only "fixing" a problem that is preventing pgcy and then allowing God to provide a pgcy when He feels it is best for you. This would go along with some hormonal imbalances that may cause you to m/c.

I don't consider "fixing" a problem the same as going out of your way to concieve. However, when you take meds to enhance your egg production or actually go to implanting embrios or artifical insemination, that is going out of your way to "force" a pgcy and take the roll of God.
Yes, thanks for clarifying! Your earlier post makes better sense to me now....personally, I see infertility as a physical problem, and think that it is perfectly reasonable to seek to be healed of it. Frinstance, if I suffered from Crohn's disease, I would go as far as my resources would reasonably allow (without impoverishing myself or my family) to treat/cure it. I might even go to some "extreme" measures.....accept treatment that may look a bit wacky to outsiders. I would certainly pray, and beg God for healing/blessing/peace/guidance. I just don't know that I can say where the "line" is--at what point do I go from trying to heal my body to robbing glory from God. And if I can't even say, hypothetically, where that line is for myself, then I sure can't say where it should be for anyone else!

Honestly, I don't believe there *is* a single line. I think that it is probably much more individual/situational than that. I think it probably stems from a person's attitude....if we become obsessive about the idea of achieving pregnancy--to the point that it is foremost in our lives, all-consuming, an idol, even--well then, I sorta doubt God would be very pleased with that. Rumour has it that God doesn't like us to have other gods in our lives. But if we seek His blessings through the process of dealing with infertility, and if we remember always that it is God that opens and blesses our wombs, and if we always strive to serve him fully where we are, with all we are, then I believe that He will reward our perseverance, either by granting us the long-awaited child, or by granting us the miracle of His fathomless peace. Either way, we will be blessedly rewarded for seeking His blessing and holding fast to His promises.

I do believe, with all my heart, that it is never wrong to seek God's blessings, even in a very active manner. Indeed, I believe that scripture is exceedingly clear that this is what God expects from us! I look at my own children...when my 2 year old spies me with a cookie or a bowl of ice cream, he doesn't stand on the other side of the room and shrug his shoulders and say, "Well, I'll take some if you decide to give it to me. Or not. Whatever you decide, Mama." No way, he comes right to me, climbs up on my lap and snuggles in, then gives me that gorgeous smile and says "Bite PLEASE, Mama! More PLEASE, Mama!" And he doesn't give up asking, begging to share my treat until he can plainly see that it is all gone. And I am DELIGHTED to share it with him--much more than if he'd acted indifferent. I believe that God takes similar delight in sharing His blessings with us, and the more persistent and enthusiastic we are in asking for them, the more He is glorified by our asking! "More PLEASE, God! Bless me MORE, Lord!"

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Back to the opposite... Doesn't it just seem odd for a married couple to not want kids? Or to worry about it? I've never felt so calm and great as I do right now, after making the decision to leave it to God's will. Unfortunately, I still have to wait for my husband's ok to go to the doctor and remove my implant. I'm thinking about asking tonight.
Praying for you! : And I totally understand what you mean.....I can't imagine dh and I having to "decide" how many was enough.....we have a hard enough time deciding where to eat when we go on a date, LOL!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
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#30 of 384 Old 05-07-2008, 04:16 AM
 
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Hi all, I just wanted to introduce myself...I'm Shawna. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years now. I have on ds who is still cooking and will be done at the end of july or beginning of august. We have 2 babies who ended in miscarriage that I think about a lot, but I have always known that when it was right to have babies I would. My husband and I have always known that we would be given the children that we are meant to have. We have not used birth control in our married life, despite the vocalized feeling from our families. I have just known that when we were blessed with kids it would be ok. We are both excited at the prospect of having a child soon and we want more then one. Actually we want to have kids for as long as we have kids..... And I know that when I'm not meant to have any more children then I wont get pregnant, ya know.
It's weird because in my family growing up anyone who had more then 2 kids was just weird and they got all of the usual remarks about "how to prevent those things" And yet my dad has 5, go figure. Actually when I told my mom I was pregnant again she sort of responded with "I thought you were going to wait until you were done with nursing school to try again." Its not like we were trying, it happened. We have always told everyone even after the miscarriages that we were not going on birth control and if we got pregnant so be it. I love it when doctors ask me if I was trying to get pregnant and I tell them that I was not not trying. We are not ignorant people, We know what happens when you have sex and don't use bc......And that is the way we want our lives to be.

Anyway,
Sorry to ramble.
Shawna
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