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#301 of 1083 Old 01-14-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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I love head coverings! (I'm a Reform Jew and don't feel religiously obliged to cover up my head, but like many others here I often feel more secure, more myself etc. with most of my hair covered).

But I am just barging in to say that I do not think my pants pertaineth to a man in the slightest. Especially not my maternity jeans
I agree about the maternity jeans!!! My husband did try a pair of mine on though because he thought it would be funny!! Which, it was...

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#302 of 1083 Old 01-14-2009, 05:42 PM
 
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I agree about the maternity jeans!!! My husband did try a pair of mine on though because he thought it would be funny!! Which, it was...
My DH put on my maternity jeans in the dark one morning, thy are in no way masculine. He came out and had still not realized he had done it. I almost peed myself it was so funny.

: mom of Gavin Rhain and Grant, Doula
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#303 of 1083 Old 01-15-2009, 12:13 PM
 
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I've been too shy to jump in, but I'm feeling so good today, I said "Why not?"

I don't belong to any religion, but for some reason I've been feeling like I need something on my head. One day I wore a baseball cap to the grocery store, and that made me feel better, but it wasn't quite right. Then I tried a pretty hat, which was better than the cap, but I was still looking for something different.

On a whim I bought some wide headbands with tails. I've been wearing them for about a week now. I've gotten comments, but they were all compliments!

I definitely feel more feminine (even in my jeans ). I like it. And now I'm thinking about what I'd like to try next.

Oh and chely, I live in south Louisiana ... more layers than necessary just don't work in the humidity! I've never been able to wear anything under a skirt. I do have some calf-length gaucho pants, though, and you might be more comfortable in those than jeans. They're very flowy and cool without looking like men's pants or needing another layer like a skirt. I don't know if they're acceptable to you but if they are, they're very easy to wear.
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#304 of 1083 Old 01-15-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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I've been too shy to jump in, but I'm feeling so good today, I said "Why not?"

I don't belong to any religion, but for some reason I've been feeling like I need something on my head. One day I wore a baseball cap to the grocery store, and that made me feel better, but it wasn't quite right. Then I tried a pretty hat, which was better than the cap, but I was still looking for something different.

On a whim I bought some wide headbands with tails. I've been wearing them for about a week now. I've gotten comments, but they were all compliments!

I definitely feel more feminine (even in my jeans ). I like it. And now I'm thinking about what I'd like to try next.

Oh and chely, I live in south Louisiana ... more layers than necessary just don't work in the humidity! I've never been able to wear anything under a skirt. I do have some calf-length gaucho pants, though, and you might be more comfortable in those than jeans. They're very flowy and cool without looking like men's pants or needing another layer like a skirt. I don't know if they're acceptable to you but if they are, they're very easy to wear.
The gauchos are a great idea!!!! I truly hadn't even thought of them. I have one pair and they really do look a lot like a skirt on, definitely nice and feminine and modest, I think I need to look for some more as it starts getting warmer!! Thank you!!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#305 of 1083 Old 01-15-2009, 01:00 PM
 
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So this is the style i Dress in most often I think it looks quite feminine http://www.sakurarose.com/jaautopinsa.html

: mom of Gavin Rhain and Grant, Doula
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#306 of 1083 Old 01-15-2009, 07:44 PM
 
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So this is the style i Dress in most often I think it looks quite feminine http://www.sakurarose.com/jaautopinsa.html
SQUEE!
So pretty!!!!

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#307 of 1083 Old 01-18-2009, 07:48 PM
 
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I'm wondering what the "next step" would be from headbands. I guess just wider headbands?

It just doesn't get cold here, so when I see people in hats, I think "He/she isn't really hot in that!?" So hats I guess are out, at least until I'm ready to deal with comments.

What else doesn't scream "I'm covering my head"?
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#308 of 1083 Old 01-18-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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I've decided to try for a more modest and feminine look for my wardrobe after this baby. And I've given some thought to the head covering... But I don't know anyone who does it. And since we're not particularly religious as a family, I have a feeling it might be awkward. And I'm mixed, so I have really hard to deal with hair, and I get it relaxed. I'm sort of struggling with the vanity issue here, I guess. I suppose I'm just looking for some suggestions on how to make my decision? I asked my husband... But he said he really doesn't care either way.

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#309 of 1083 Old 01-18-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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I'm wondering what the "next step" would be from headbands. I guess just wider headbands?

It just doesn't get cold here, so when I see people in hats, I think "He/she isn't really hot in that!?" So hats I guess are out, at least until I'm ready to deal with comments.

What else doesn't scream "I'm covering my head"?
Triangle bandanas? A lot of people wear that, it's kind of a folk or "hippie" look, but it doesn't scream HEADCOVERING the way that, say, a Charity veil would.
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#310 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 12:12 AM
 
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I'm wondering what the "next step" would be from headbands. I guess just wider headbands?

It just doesn't get cold here, so when I see people in hats, I think "He/she isn't really hot in that!?" So hats I guess are out, at least until I'm ready to deal with comments.

What else doesn't scream "I'm covering my head"?
coveryourhair.com has some REALLY cute wider pretied headbands, like 6 and 12 inches wide. They are adorable and don't scream LOOK!!! A HEAD COVERING!!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#311 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 12:25 AM
 
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Does anyone have a suggestion for covering really long hair? My hair is to my knees and it makes a rather huge ball at the back of my head. I'm a baby coverer so I'm still rather clueless. Thanks a bundle.
Addie
I didn't have time to read all the post to see if anyone answered your questions or not but my cousins have long hair down to the floor and they are about 5' 10". They braid there hair a lot and just put it around their covering but they use the veil style head covering. Also there is some people on youtube that show how to do hairstyles for long hair. If you just search for apostolic hairstyles you will come up with a bunch.

I am starting to cover using veils as well. I am transitioning. because I am a pastors wife and I don't want our church people to get upset. Also because my parents will not be to accepting of it as well.

Well I have to get off of here now my hubby is wanting us to get the dd's ready for bed.

Carmen:
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#312 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 12:32 AM
 
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I'm curious if anyone has thoughts on how covered is too covered? I don't mean in a finger-pointy "I'm ok, you're extreme" sort of way ... just more in the sense of why we cover not what we do, but only what we do. Does that make any sense?
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#313 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 06:57 PM
 
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Hey there!

I wear a tichel... tied bun-style. Very few people have commented or even noticed that its a head covering. Most think its just a matter of style for me and have said that it suits me.

Bandanas are a good second step covering, I agree.
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#314 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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I'm curious if anyone has thoughts on how covered is too covered? I don't mean in a finger-pointy "I'm ok, you're extreme" sort of way ... just more in the sense of why we cover not what we do, but only what we do. Does that make any sense?
For me, the tichel was too much for everyday. A wide headband is good.
I wear a mantilla at Church, and DH thinks that's too much. To me, it's just right (again... for Church, not everyday). I have a chapel veil for Church, and that doesn't feel like enough.

Is that what you were looking for?

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#315 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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I'm wondering what the "next step" would be from headbands. I guess just wider headbands?

It just doesn't get cold here, so when I see people in hats, I think "He/she isn't really hot in that!?" So hats I guess are out, at least until I'm ready to deal with comments.

What else doesn't scream "I'm covering my head"?
Hairwraps?
Or headbands like this or maybe the Suzanne or cawl at Garlands of Grace?

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#316 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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Oh, those are beautiful, P&L! I like the really wide headbands too ... and maybe bandannas for just bummin' around or working outside. I can see myself spending lots of money.
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#317 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:29 PM
 
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I've decided to try for a more modest and feminine look for my wardrobe after this baby. And I've given some thought to the head covering... But I don't know anyone who does it. And since we're not particularly religious as a family, I have a feeling it might be awkward. And I'm mixed, so I have really hard to deal with hair, and I get it relaxed. I'm sort of struggling with the vanity issue here, I guess. I suppose I'm just looking for some suggestions on how to make my decision? I asked my husband... But he said he really doesn't care either way.
First off, do what feels right for you.
Try wearing headbands for awhile (I recommend cloth) to see if covering is something you like to do. Take a look at the links people have included here
Garlands of Grace (headbands, kerchief style, snoods, cawls)
Cover Your Hair (headbands, tichels, hats)
Headcoverings by Devorah (mantillas, tiechels, snoods, kerchiefs, hairwraps, hats)
Lady MacSnood (snoods... obviously)
Cool site about Offbeat Modesty

there are many other sites available. Just google "headcoverings". You can also find lots of resources on YouTube, as well.
It really just depends on the type of covering you are looking for.

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#318 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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Oh, those are beautiful, P&L! I like the really wide headbands too ... and maybe bandannas for just bummin' around or working outside. I can see myself spending lots of money.
I know!

I just posted a bunch of links for another poster. Maybe a snood would be handy for around the house?

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#319 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:37 PM
 
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For me, the tichel was too much for everyday. A wide headband is good.
I wear a mantilla at Church, and DH thinks that's too much. To me, it's just right (again... for Church, not everyday). I have a chapel veil for Church, and that doesn't feel like enough.

Is that what you were looking for?
Sort of. I've been going around and around in my mind with some thoughts on covering lately, bringing into it matters of the comfort level of the community in which I live, how much I'm comfortable with standing out and/or raising eyebrows, the comfort of my spouse as he moves about our community as well, the "fitting in" factor for my kids as they start to get into more social ages, different notions of religious requirements and ideals, fashion () and how much stylishness actually matters to me, etc, etc, etc, ... just trying to settle on a balance. And, particularly since some here have mentioned not wanting to walk out the door wearing something that screams "headcoverer, over here!," it got me to wondering why people chose the styles and level of coverage that they do. Different religions and different interpretations within religions being what they are, it seems like there are a lot of factors that might potentially make one settle on one way as being right for them, aside from just doctrine.
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#320 of 1083 Old 01-19-2009, 07:47 PM
 
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Sort of. I've been going around and around in my mind with some thoughts on covering lately, bringing into it matters of the comfort level of the community in which I live, how much I'm comfortable with standing out and/or raising eyebrows, the comfort of my spouse as he moves about our community as well, the "fitting in" factor for my kids as they start to get into more social ages, different notions of religious requirements and ideals, fashion () and how much stylishness actually matters to me, etc, etc, etc, ... just trying to settle on a balance. And, particularly since some here have mentioned not wanting to walk out the door wearing something that screams "headcoverer, over here!," it got me to wondering why people chose the styles and level of coverage that they do. Different religions and different interpretations within religions being what they are, it seems like there are a lot of factors that might potentially make one settle on one way as being right for them, aside from just doctrine.

OOOOOOOOOOO!
Hrm...
Well, I shall have to ponder my answer. I guess the one I gave is the beginnings of it, but I shall have to give it more thought...

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#321 of 1083 Old 01-20-2009, 07:52 PM
 
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I'm curious if anyone has thoughts on how covered is too covered? I don't mean in a finger-pointy "I'm ok, you're extreme" sort of way ... just more in the sense of why we cover not what we do, but only what we do. Does that make any sense?
I just discovered this thread and hope to read all the posts but this one caught my attention. I have so many friends who stopped covering because they felt that their covering at all was somehow an "I'm better than you" declaration. I've never understood that. I think everything depends on the circumstance. Although I admire niqab (face-covering) for example, and used to do it at one point, I think in the US it is too intimidating for the general population. Aside from that, if the style is done right, I don't think there is really such a thing as "too covered".

I wear a very eastern Mediterranean style common in Syria, Lebanon and Turkey. I wear an overcoat (dark navy blue is my color of choice these days) and a scarf of pretty much any color, but always solid colored for me. The overcoat looks like a tailored jacket kind of like a man would wear, only it is slightly decorated, every so slightly fitted (I don't like to wear tight ones, I feel like that defeats the purpose for me) and it has a belt. It looks like a trench coat. (In fact they are called just that in Syria.) The look is very formal and professional. I wear some big black European clogs and carry a black purse.

I don't know if anyone posted this yet, but I love http://www.shukronline.com

There is also
http://www.maraboonline.com/

My choice of hijab color depends on where I'm going. If I'm going to the mosque or to a friend's house I tend to go darker and more conservative because that's how I am. But when I'm going shopping or I'm otherwise in a situation where I want to make a good, non-intimidating impression on non-Muslims, I wear pink or purple hijabs. Sometimes I think this makes me pathetic, but honestly I am (probably too?) conscious of the fact that many people stereotype Islam as being so oppressive and if they see me in dark colors it fits with their stereotype that Muslim women "have" to wear black or whatever.

When I was pregnant with #4 most of my jilbabs didn't fit me anymore so I ended up having to wear the only one big enough which happened to be black. In the summer. I was in Wal-Mart and I needed something on a shelf but there was an old lady in the way chatting with an employee. As I was waiting she turned around and said "How can you wear that BLACK THING in this heat?!" I had to respond very cheerfully and in a chatty way about how "I'm pregnant and this is the only one that fits me right now, I have light colored ones but they're too small and you know these things are not easy to find..." That woman looked at me like she had NO IDEA I was actually going to have an actual explanation. She really thought she was just making a comment on what she perceived as my oppessive religious rules. And maybe that she would get away with it. Or maybe that I didn't speak English LOL.

Regarding the husband issue... I have dealt with this too. Dh has noticed a 180 degree shift in some of his colleagues at work after they have seen or met up with us in public. What's worse is we have 3 little girls, all of whom LOVE to wear headscarves and now like to wear "jilbabs" (Gymboree Easter coats) too. Then people see us and go "Oh, they're THOSE kind of people?! He's a FUNDAMENTALIST?" Or with the girls, I know they go home and say "they even make their BABIES wear it!" Dh being Arab, all the stereotypes come flying out. And since I'm American there are more stereotypes, like "Oh, she's only wearing that because he MADE her wear it. He probably told her 'if you want to marry me you have to wear this'" And stuff like that.

It does take a kind of thick skin. And careful attention to everything that goes on at work, keeping a paper trail and so forth in order to pre-empt any discrimination....
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#322 of 1083 Old 01-20-2009, 08:03 PM
 
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[QUOTE=RainRaven;12983390] I am quite tall and have a hard time finding skirts that come down to my feet[QUOTE]

http://www.landsend.com sells long skirts in tall sizes.
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#323 of 1083 Old 01-20-2009, 09:24 PM
 
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[QUOTE=UmmZaynab;13032437][QUOTE=RainRaven;12983390] I am quite tall and have a hard time finding skirts that come down to my feet
Quote:

http://www.landsend.com sells long skirts in tall sizes.
Very nice skirts not quite long enough ( I like them to my feet)

Wow thanks for posting this http://www.maraboonline.com/ thouse skirts are perfect I will need to save up to buy some.

: mom of Gavin Rhain and Grant, Doula
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#324 of 1083 Old 01-20-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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I'm curious if anyone has thoughts on how covered is too covered? I don't mean in a finger-pointy "I'm ok, you're extreme" sort of way ... just more in the sense of why we cover not what we do, but only what we do. Does that make any sense?
I agree with P&L, that a tichel, for me, is way too covered. I stick to wide head bands and hats, and I don't cover everyday. I am not comfortable with it.... yet. Likewise, I don't think I would feel comfortable covering my face.

However, at shul, I go nuts with the tichels. : I feel like it's the one place I can wear scarves wrapped in different ways, and not just plain winter hats.

In the summer I was considering tzinuis types of bathing suits, but they were just too modest for me, and in our community... it would be very noticed.

But I don't judge other people's level of coverage.

My babies were born at home! 09/07, 01/10, and 09/12 joy.gif

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#325 of 1083 Old 01-21-2009, 04:30 AM
 
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When I was pregnant with #4 most of my jilbabs didn't fit me anymore so I ended up having to wear the only one big enough which happened to be black. In the summer. I was in Wal-Mart and I needed something on a shelf but there was an old lady in the way chatting with an employee. As I was waiting she turned around and said "How can you wear that BLACK THING in this heat?!" I had to respond very cheerfully and in a chatty way about how "I'm pregnant and this is the only one that fits me right now, I have light colored ones but they're too small and you know these things are not easy to find..." That woman looked at me like she had NO IDEA I was actually going to have an actual explanation. She really thought she was just making a comment on what she perceived as my oppessive religious rules. And maybe that she would get away with it. Or maybe that I didn't speak English LOL.

Regarding the husband issue... I have dealt with this too. Dh has noticed a 180 degree shift in some of his colleagues at work after they have seen or met up with us in public. What's worse is we have 3 little girls, all of whom LOVE to wear headscarves and now like to wear "jilbabs" (Gymboree Easter coats) too. Then people see us and go "Oh, they're THOSE kind of people?! He's a FUNDAMENTALIST?" Or with the girls, I know they go home and say "they even make their BABIES wear it!" Dh being Arab, all the stereotypes come flying out. And since I'm American there are more stereotypes, like "Oh, she's only wearing that because he MADE her wear it. He probably told her 'if you want to marry me you have to wear this'" And stuff like that.
I completely understand what you are saying. This stereotype thing happens to us [christian] as well. I headcover and where "modest" clothing. though which isn't an exact style garment - is clearly an alternative choice from the norm. I get those looks. those weird "what are you?" and "why do wear that stuff?" kinda looks. sometimes people even say something rude... I'm sure many think my husband makes me do it. they often treat him differently after they meet me. My own father think our beliefs are that the husband tells the wife what to do and we have no say. which is odd since he knows me and knows my husband who is very quiet and soft spoken. but guess he hasn't put two and two together lol.

when it comes down to it though, most of american people aren't used ot the idea of discomfort or of giving up something. the idea that someone would purposefully wear something that is too warm or covers to much skin and that one might be had slightly uncomfortable is just too much for them to imagine.

who do I really feel bad for? the girls who think they have to dress in nightclub outfits and high heels even when it's 10 below! heh. now that's suffering!

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

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#326 of 1083 Old 01-21-2009, 11:17 AM
 
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who do I really feel bad for? the girls who think they have to dress in nightclub outfits and high heels even when it's 10 below! heh. now that's suffering!
To borrow my sister's phrase: For totes! (totally)

I went out with friends last weekend and left my coat in the car cause I didn't want to have to deal with it in the club. Yeah... bad idea when it's -9! I am a horrible example of dressing for the weather, sometimes...

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#327 of 1083 Old 01-21-2009, 11:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by UmmZaynab View Post
-snip-

I wear a very eastern Mediterranean style common in Syria, Lebanon and Turkey. I wear an overcoat (dark navy blue is my color of choice these days) and a scarf of pretty much any color, but always solid colored for me. The overcoat looks like a tailored jacket kind of like a man would wear, only it is slightly decorated, every so slightly fitted (I don't like to wear tight ones, I feel like that defeats the purpose for me) and it has a belt. It looks like a trench coat. (In fact they are called just that in Syria.) The look is very formal and professional. I wear some big black European clogs and carry a black purse.

I don't know if anyone posted this yet, but I love http://www.shukronline.com

There is also
http://www.maraboonline.com/

My choice of hijab color depends on where I'm going. If I'm going to the mosque or to a friend's house I tend to go darker and more conservative because that's how I am. But when I'm going shopping or I'm otherwise in a situation where I want to make a good, non-intimidating impression on non-Muslims, I wear pink or purple hijabs. Sometimes I think this makes me pathetic, but honestly I am (probably too?) conscious of the fact that many people stereotype Islam as being so oppressive and if they see me in dark colors it fits with their stereotype that Muslim women "have" to wear black or whatever.

-snip-
So pretty!!!! You know, (and this is prolly not going to come out as I want it to) sometimes it seems like the Muslim ladies have such an easier time of finding appropriate modest clothing! The hundreds of sites offer lovely selections, and I get a bit jealous!

Proud Catholic (30) and mama to V (10)
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#328 of 1083 Old 01-21-2009, 12:10 PM
 
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I read this thread with interest. I have posted here before. I developed alopecia and recently lost all my hair. Wigs are pretty but they are uncomfortable. The more I observed Muslim women with their hijabs and underscarfs (I rarely see other types of coverings where I live), I realized I didn't need to wear chemotherapy bandanas (which only make me look ill).

I now wear rectangular scarves tied over hijab sleeves. It's funny - I find I get a lot of looks and comments. People used to think I had cancer but now that my scarves are more elaborate - I think people are not sure why I wear scarves.

I've met women from Afghanistan who I think I'm also from their country.

A Lebanese woman I know - she thought I was wrapping my hair for religious reasons.

It's interesting how people see another person - my scarves seem to bring out their own personal viewpoints and anxieties.

I have anxieties wearing my scarves because I have lost my hair. And yet I'm also proud to wear the beautiful hijab scarves (I don't cover my throat, though). I think it is a very lovely and elegant thing - the modest clothes and headcoverings and I don't think women should stop doing it because of other peoples' anxieties or issues.

Thank you for this thread.
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#329 of 1083 Old 01-22-2009, 09:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tricia80 View Post
Hi everyone,

I think i was part of this thread before and lost touch due to craziness of life... I am a Conservative Mennonite convert... So i wear cape dresses and a covering every day...

I live in Canada and didn't know how i would handle the cold but this is my 2nd winter wearing dresses and i have found lots of ways to keep warm.. we even going toboganning... My daughter wears a dress all the time as well...

this was not an easy transition seeing as the last time before 2007 i had worn a dress was 1998.
... was really challenged by this post. I've just finished sewing an ankle-length denim skirt and plan to give it a try. The weather here has warmed up considerably... we shall see.

Went to Fabricland yesterday with a girlfriend and bought some beautiful fabric to make tichels out of... bought a lovely purple and pink batik that I love! She kept throwing fabric over my head to see how it would look. ha ha! What fun!

-Deedee
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#330 of 1083 Old 01-23-2009, 12:55 PM
 
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continuing to read this thread and find support. i am not religiously required to cover, yet have felt myself drawn to more modest dress and spending a lot of time thinking about my reasons.

wanted to share a brief story. i have visitied skukr to admire their clothes (and i think, liquesce, i have read every link to modest dressing on your blog. no wonder my house is getting messy). today i found myself thinking "at 6' and a bit lean, if i wear these gorgeous looser clothes everyone will think i am pregnant. i will be too self conscious and entirely defeat the purpose of modest dress!" so...i look at the blog at shukr, and the entry is by a 6' tall 140 lb woman, making recommendations for purchases!

so, maybe inner obstacles can also be lifted...

mama to one amazing daughter born 1/2004
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