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Old 06-08-2009, 10:17 PM
 
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I just need a scarf with "my father thinks headscarves are weird, I started wearing one long before I met my husband, and the religious community I started out in mostly thinks they're just as oppressive as you do" printed all over it. Maybe with a "it's not because of my brother, my uncle, or my best friend's third cousin's gardener, either" thrown in there somewhere for good measure.
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Old 06-09-2009, 12:00 AM
 
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I just need a scarf with "my father thinks headscarves are weird, I started wearing one long before I met my husband, and the religious community I started out in mostly thinks they're just as oppressive as you do" printed all over it. Maybe with a "it's not because of my brother, my uncle, or my best friend's third cousin's gardener, either" thrown in there somewhere for good measure.
I really want to walk around town wearing one of HijabMan's t-shirts that say "THIS IS WHAT A RADICAL MUSLIM FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE" but I wear jilbab and he doesn't offer a tote bag or sweatshirt or anything.

http://www.hijabman.com/store (you have to scroll down to see it)
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Old 06-09-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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I really want to walk around town wearing one of HijabMan's t-shirts that say "THIS IS WHAT A RADICAL MUSLIM FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE" but I wear jilbab and he doesn't offer a tote bag or sweatshirt or anything.

http://www.hijabman.com/store (you have to scroll down to see it)
wow, great shirts! if i had the money i would distribute "Muslims love Jesus too" shirts to everyone in my town.

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Old 06-10-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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The thing that really gets me is when, rather than asking about my religion (which I can tell they want to know), someone asks me where I'm from. When I say "Texas" I don't think it dispells any confusion or curiosity, but then they get flustered because it didn't give any answers to what they really want to know.

Other people ask me if I cover for religious reasons, and I usually just say "yes", without specifying what religion. I've gotten a few compliments on how I dress modestly from men, and a couple from Muslimahs who tell me I look beautiful. Since what I wear to work tends to be pretty plain, esp. compared to the bright floral khimars and long skirts many of the immigrant ladies here wear (They're mostly Somali or Sudanese, I think), I'm sure it's simply a compliment to my modesty.

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Old 06-10-2009, 03:25 PM
 
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I think the questions people ask are not meant to be annoying, for the most part. I guess people are just thinking in terms of their own experience - and if it is limited in terms of knowing people of various religions, cultures, etc. , their questions reflect this limitation.

I have alopecia - this is why I cover. My neck is not covered - only my head. On separate occasions, I've been asked by several different Afghanistan women if I am from their country. After conversation ensues, in each case it is clear they've thought I was from Afghanistan and covering for modest/religious reasons. I'm using this illustration not because I thought the woman were rude - but because I was so intrigued that they'd think I was from such an exotic place. I enjoyed the converation actually - I never thought someone would mistake little ole 6th generation Canadian for an Afghanistan. I felt "cool" for a few seconds.

I know it's annoying when people make some comments and they seem ignorant. I can't believe how many strange or hurtful comments I get about my alopecia areata - it's really unbelievable. But people haven't heard of the condition so they are speaking in ignorance. I think it's the same way when someone mislabels a hijab or insistently queries about a scarf.

Mind you - I've had a lot of rude questions too - so I admit sometimes people are just rude! (vent over.)

Not sure what my point is ... just thought I'd offer another perspective! Sometime people just speak from ignorance!
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Old 06-12-2009, 11:25 PM
 
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http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepu...11.html?&wired

Do you all work out anywhere? If so, where?
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Old 06-13-2009, 01:17 AM
 
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http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepu...11.html?&wired

Do you all work out anywhere? If so, where?

I used to go to a women's only gym with my mom when I was younger. We love love loved it. Not that I'd have time to go anyway now, but there is nothing like that within reasonable distance from me now. Coed gym culture around here is really gross:

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Old 06-13-2009, 03:19 AM
 
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I used to go to the co-ed gym at the JCC. But I hated the gym. (I hate anything that is called "exercise". I have no problem with, and enjoy walking, dancing, martial arts, hulahooping, hiking, all sorts of fun stuff, but I have "excercising for exercise's sake") So now that I'm more modest, since I don't go to the gym, I don't really have that problem. Still figureing out the swimsuit thing. I'm supposed to be shopping with my mum for a swimsuit tomarrow, but the most modest we'll get is a 1 peice. well, I might go with that and a little coverup skirt?? I think for swiming I'm ok with that.....

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:29 AM
 
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I used to belong to a co-ed gym that weekday mornings was pretty reliably attended only by little old ladies, my mother, and me. I'm sort of with Magelet though ... I'm not big on excercise for its own sake. I like swimming and hiking just because I like them, not because they're going to make me all buff. And in a weird way I enjoy things like shoveling truckloads of compost for the garden or hauling rocks from point A to point B ... yeah, I'm weird, I know, but productive exercise makes me feel extra-accomplished. Mostly things that I only need a backyard for.
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:38 AM
 
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oh me too. shoveling or construction is good exercise, but mostly, its incredibly rewarding. and of course, there are forms of exercise which one might practice with one's spouse... hey, its definitely aerobic.

I feel like humans were evolved to do physical work, to build shelters, to feed their families, so productive, or enjoyable physical activities are great, but I don't see the point of exercising because your body needs physical activity. Its so incredibly unpleasant, when you could do something fun that is physical.

now, I must admit, when I'm dancing, I'll happily wear a leotard and tights, and not feel the least bit undressed even with men in the dance studio. Sometimes I'll wear a leotard and pants or a skirt, because I spent so much time in a leotard as a child, that I feel completely dressed in one. *shrugs* its strange.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:04 PM
 
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You ladies are funny Some of us find those exercise machines soothing. I am a bigger fan of Iyengar yoga though - its physical therapy in motion. I feel the same way about modesty in yoga class even if there are men around - I wear long sleeves and at least capri length pants if not long pants, but I'd never feel comfortable in something so snug in any other setting. I've done yoga my whole life and its sorta the uniform.

Speaking of bathing suits: One piece bathing suits are never ever modest for me. I have a large chest and a looong torso. I look like I'm wearing Barbie's spandex workout leotard (the one that is painted on). I got a maternity suit at motherhood I'm still wearing this summer. It has an ample chest and then the stomach area is loose and skirt-like covering past my hips. It works and I feel comfortable but I'm still not sure what I feel my standards of modesty are or should be concerning swim wear.

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Old 06-13-2009, 03:41 PM
 
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I used to go to the co-ed gym at the JCC. But I hated the gym. (I hate anything that is called "exercise". I have no problem with, and enjoy walking, dancing, martial arts, hulahooping, hiking, all sorts of fun stuff, but I have "excercising for exercise's sake") So now that I'm more modest, since I don't go to the gym, I don't really have that problem. Still figureing out the swimsuit thing. I'm supposed to be shopping with my mum for a swimsuit tomarrow, but the most modest we'll get is a 1 peice. well, I might go with that and a little coverup skirt?? I think for swiming I'm ok with that.....
Believe it or not, Walmart had a pretty good selection of modest swimsuites this year.

Proud Catholic (30) and mama to V (10)
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:44 PM
 
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I have looked over every "modest" suit out there, finding more that were just plain old ugly and or impracticle then anything.
But, I love the ones at this site.
http://www.modestswimwearsolutions.com/
Patterns and premade are offered.

Paula, wife to Steve, mother hen to 38 , busy doing : TTC after 6
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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For swimsuits. I might go with a nice tankini and a swimskirt, or possibly even a rashgard and a swimskirt

Proud Catholic (30) and mama to V (10)
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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I found this site the other day.
Prices are low, and the variety is high!
http://www.anokhiusa.com/

Paula, wife to Steve, mother hen to 38 , busy doing : TTC after 6
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Old 06-13-2009, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys are so cute. :

I get a lot of "you're not going Orthodox on us, are you?" I usually say, very dryly, either "the scarf matches my skirt" or "sheesh, can't a gal have a bad hair day around here??" So that they feel guilty or at least realize how stupid a question it is. It amazes me how even though I've always worn hippie clothes, adding the scarf is what seems to worry people.

I'm going to start saying "Yes" and walking away. Bigots.

BTW, I'll take all of those shirts.

That being said, at a Reform conference I went to, a colleague approached me about always wearing a headscarf and did it SO respectfully. She asked "I've noticed you usually have your hair covered. Is that a religious choice or just your style?" Awesome. We had a great talk after that. It's amazing that almost everyone notices, but so few people have the courage to ask without assumptions.

Swimsuits: I wear long, baggy board shorts and a surf shirt. Comfy and about as modest as I can get without feeling ridiculous.

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Old 06-13-2009, 04:09 PM
 
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I found this site the other day.
Prices are low, and the variety is high!
http://www.anokhiusa.com/
I have one from them. I don't necessarily consider them *low* price, but the quality is really nice ... I wish they pictured actual scarves rather than just swatches; the scarf I have is nicer than the swatch. The cotton is a little bit thicker than what I think of when I think "voile," but it's still very lightweight. It's just a couple of inches smaller than I'd like, but then I like scarves to be bigger than pretty much everyone else on this thread does. If it weren't for those couple of inches I'd have probably dropped a small fortune on them by now.
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Old 06-13-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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Pretty, but definitely not low price for me... more like I wish prices... but voile... hmmm, I definitely saw some voile for 7 a yard at stone mountain, thats not so bad....

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Old 06-13-2009, 07:29 PM
 
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I just find them to be better priced then many of the tzniut sites.
It frustrates me that those sites sell scarves for as much as $15-$30, when the same ones are $3-$10 in Israel.
Why mark them up so high?

Paula, wife to Steve, mother hen to 38 , busy doing : TTC after 6
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Old 06-13-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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I have one from them. I don't necessarily consider them *low* price, but the quality is really nice ... I wish they pictured actual scarves rather than just swatches; the scarf I have is nicer than the swatch. The cotton is a little bit thicker than what I think of when I think "voile," but it's still very lightweight. It's just a couple of inches smaller than I'd like, but then I like scarves to be bigger than pretty much everyone else on this thread does. If it weren't for those couple of inches I'd have probably dropped a small fortune on them by now.
Ho wwould you compare them to what www.tznius sells? As far as thickness and quality that is.

Paula, wife to Steve, mother hen to 38 , busy doing : TTC after 6
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Old 06-13-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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Ho wwould you compare them to what www.tznius sells? As far as thickness and quality that is.
Sorry, I've never bought from them to be able to compare.
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:06 AM
 
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How are you ladies doing lately?
Any new coverings?

I am waiting to get a check in the mail, and I shall soon be purchasing some new work clothes and a new headcovering or two. I finally got the headcovering thing ok-ed at work, and what the requirements are (solid black or white, only. And does not cause issues with interacting on the line. IE: I won't cause traffic jams with a giant cloth bun, like what happened on a VERY busy Friday morning)

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Old 06-16-2009, 12:14 AM
 
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Okay, on the heels of that is there ANY way to create that cloth bun without a bunch of hair underneath? All my attempts are seriously failing.
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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I don't know. I have a good sized bun of hair and my attempts still fail, and look weird to me. Maybe my scarf is the wrong type? (long rectangle)

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Old 06-16-2009, 12:59 AM
 
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rats. that's what I use too. I thought it was just my lack of hair that was an issue!
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Old 06-16-2009, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can only do the bun look with square scarves. Rectangles fail miserably for me because it's just not enough fabric.

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Old 06-16-2009, 02:25 AM
 
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Opposite here ... I can't even imagine how to tie a bun with a square scarf? But then rectangles for me are usually 65 or 70 inches long.

Anytime I've done it I've tied it around a claw clip ... obviously that requires having at least enough hair to secure the clip though.
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Old 06-16-2009, 11:39 AM
 
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yes, mine are long but I have NO hair in the back! That would be a big difference!
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Old 06-16-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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If you really really want a bun, how about a short cotton scarf tied and knotted in the back, and then tie your regular scarf over it? I'm thinking tied like a martial arts bandanna, but obviously not across your forehead Not sure if it would work but it might.

I would guess you'd probably need a square scarf or a very wide rectangle to make it happen though. I have a ton of hair and I can barely make a bun style work with a typical rectangular scarf, and it's not in the traditional way, but rather with 2 wraps, so I'm not sure how you'd do it without more material.

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Old 06-16-2009, 11:57 PM
 
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I don't have any trouble making a bun with a huge triangle/large square scarf. I have a massive head of hair, though! I tie my hair into a bun slightly higher then the base of my neck and then wrap the scarf around it, etc.

I've never tried with a rectangle scarf... Not sure how that would work at all but I'm sure it can be done. Will work with one of my rectangles and see if I can help ya out. No promises but I'll try.
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