"Cover"-ed Girls! - Page 21 - Mothering Forums
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#601 of 1083 Old 06-30-2009, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'd participate, but I don't want to suck up one of your slots with such a narrow range of styles I actually wear. Nice idea though.
No! I was looking forward to swapping with you! I think you're the only other person on this thread that likes scarves as big as I like them!


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#602 of 1083 Old 06-30-2009, 03:38 PM
 
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OkiMom, your experience about having too many stares due to your hair makes me think of when i gave up shorter skirts. i am 6' tall, and when i took the train to work (that is, me standing in a skirt, man sitting in front of/near me) i always felt like a peacock, as if i was flashing feathers for attention. several friends said, who cares if someone's looking? wear what you want (or worse "if you have it, flaunt it" ...but it felt immensely uncomfortable.

anyhow, i am grateful to have this space to explore covering, which is still just a possibility for me.

mama to one amazing daughter born 1/2004
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#603 of 1083 Old 06-30-2009, 04:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OkiMom, your experience about having too many stares due to your hair makes me think of when i gave up shorter skirts. i am 6' tall, and when i took the train to work (that is, me standing in a skirt, man sitting in front of/near me) i always felt like a peacock, as if i was flashing feathers for attention. several friends said, who cares if someone's looking? wear what you want (or worse "if you have it, flaunt it" ...but it felt immensely uncomfortable.

anyhow, i am grateful to have this space to explore covering, which is still just a possibility for me.
: I'm in PA, too!

Those of us who are PA-ers are actually very lucky. Headcovering is accepted here as normal, unlike in many other places where any type of headcovering is seen as weird.

I got that "if you got it, flaunt it" thing about having a large bust. You're right - it's uncomfortable.

Good luck on your journey.

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#604 of 1083 Old 07-01-2009, 01:31 AM
 
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No! I was looking forward to swapping with you! I think you're the only other person on this thread that likes scarves as big as I like them!

Ok, I dug through my scarves and fished out a couple that I've never worn and would trade for pretty much anything, and a couple that I've also never worn but that would take an awesome trade for me to part with them. So I'll head on over and post after all. It's just that as the giant rectangle lady I don't necessarily expect too many people to have things like I wear much.
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#605 of 1083 Old 07-01-2009, 04:38 AM
 
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hey girls! I've not been around for a while. I've been busy with the new baby anyhow I just wanted to say hello! looks liek I have several pages worth fo reading to do to catch up..... though maybe I'll just jump on the train while it's going steady heh

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#606 of 1083 Old 07-01-2009, 10:35 PM
 
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I think I can find some great giant rectangles... (particularly since I'm eyeing that redish square silk scarf BIG time. any idea what your idea makes a "great trade?" I'm going shopping for the trade soon.)

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#607 of 1083 Old 07-01-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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Liquesce, I am also a big fan of the material. I never really thought much about covering with a bit...I love the weight. It's so comforting to me.

Magelet, that's a perfect way to define it. For me it's spiritual, it feels like something I'm called to. It is not, however something religion would require.
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#608 of 1083 Old 07-02-2009, 12:12 AM
 
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hey girls! I've not been around for a while. I've been busy with the new baby anyhow I just wanted to say hello! looks liek I have several pages worth fo reading to do to catch up..... though maybe I'll just jump on the train while it's going steady heh
Congrats on the new little one. Welcome back - no need to catch up, I'm sure. Just read back as far as the swap and decide if you want to join

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#609 of 1083 Old 07-07-2009, 04:09 AM
 
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Has anyone seen this story yet? It's kind of a big deal in some Muslim and Egyptian circles, but not I've not seen it mentioned otherwise. Seems relevant here. (Just as a warning, it deals with the death of a pregnant woman.)
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#610 of 1083 Old 07-07-2009, 08:52 AM
 
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I don't even know what to say. I have tears pouring down my face. How does that happen IN a courtroom? Tragic.
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#611 of 1083 Old 07-07-2009, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Messed up world we live in.

I was at a park for fireworks this weekend, wearing my "Jewish" looking scarf, and admiring the beautiful gold hijab a Muslim woman was wearing. I overheard a man say "those gals (referring to the covered women) got a lot of nerve wearing that to a 4th of July celebration." I was so pissed. I turned and said "I'm wearing a scarf - does that make ME a terrorist? Ignorant." and walked away. In Lancaster! So sick.

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#612 of 1083 Old 07-07-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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terrible story. Smeis, at the fireworks we went to I saw a LOT of muslim women and I was sad I was wearing a ball cap and not a more "religious" looking cover.

in other news, I posted this in Modest Mamas but thought it would be relevant here as well:

:: I just found the greatest products! Layering 3/4 and layering crew neck

kinda pricey but a great way to extend the pregnancy wardrobe!! This is great for me since I love the Old Navy maternity stuff but it's not exactly as modest as I'd like....

My babies were born at home! 09/07, 01/10, and 09/12 joy.gif

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#613 of 1083 Old 07-08-2009, 03:56 AM
 
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On a lighter note ... has anyone ever shopped at Spiegel? They're not the cheapest clothes in the world, but still comparable to most of the specialty modesty-oriented sites I buy from personally. They have a lot of below the knee and ankle length skirts, 3/4 and full length sleeve tops, lightweight dusters, etc, in a really wide range of sizes. I've been eyeing this linen jacket (in purple ) as something to throw on over tank tops or whatever, myself.
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#614 of 1083 Old 07-08-2009, 07:06 AM
 
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A good friend of my family only ordered from Spiegel. I guess that says something about them!

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#615 of 1083 Old 07-08-2009, 07:23 AM
 
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I forgot to post this went it happened, but I figure you ladies will appreciate it, regardless of it's tardiness!

DD is visiting her father for the summer, and I speak to her every other day on the phone. He is not the most... openminded individual if you get my drift.

Anyway- DD was telling me that she and Daddy went to the mall in Pittsburgh, and she saw "a Mary lady" (ie: the Virgin Mary).
"A Mary lady?"
"Yes Mama! One of the ladies who has a scarf on her head like Mary! And like you do when we go see Jesus!"
"Oh! I know what you are talking about!"
"Yes Mama! And she was soooooooooooooooooooo beautiful!"
At this point her dad took the phone to complain to me about her running up to the Muslim lady to tell her how pretty she was, and that DD had been running about with a bandanna on her head, so she could be "a pretty Mary lady, too!"

*rolls eyes* Her father may have been upset, but I am proud and overjoyed that she things covering, and ladies who cover, are the coolest thing since sliced bread!

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#616 of 1083 Old 07-08-2009, 08:51 PM
 
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duplicate with terrible spelling.

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#617 of 1083 Old 07-08-2009, 08:52 PM
 
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Strange thing happened today.
I haven't been covering a lot lately, because I have been in so much inner turmoil that just getting up and taking a shower in the morning has been a battle (thought I think now that perhaps some simple headcovering, such as a snood, might be employed)

Anyway-
I found out today that my friend's grandfather passed away, and that the funeral Mass would be at a Church near me. And for whatever reason, I was moved beyond belief to cover my hair for work this evening. It just felt like it was time to come back to it. Like time was short, and doing things that show my reverence for myself, and my God is important to do, no matter how I am feeling on the inside.
I hope that makes sense.

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#618 of 1083 Old 07-08-2009, 09:47 PM
 
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Strange thing happened today.
I haven't been covering a lot lately, because I have been in so much inner turmoil that just getting up and taking a shower in the morning has been a battle (thought I think now that perhaps some simple headcovering, such as a snood, might be employed)

Anyway-
I found out today that my friend's grandfather passed away, and that the funeral Mass would be at a Church near me. And for whatever reason, I was moved beyond belief to cover my hair for work this evening. It just felt like it was time to come back to it. Like time was short, and doing things that show my reverence for myself, and my God is important to do, no matter how I am feeling on the inside.
I hope that makes sense.
It does make sense. Having a tough time here myself getting through the basics, but I try to keep remembering that order on the outside can help order on the inside.. Tough to make it happen though.

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#619 of 1083 Old 07-09-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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I have a question for you mamas, especially Muslim mamas...

Are you offended if you see a non-Muslim wearing a hijab? I have a beautiful scarf that went with my outfit today and found a beautiful hijab wrap to do with it. I ended up changing the way I had it on before going to DH's work because I know there are several Muslim women there and 1) I didn't want to offend them and 2) I think DH would have been embarrassed even if the women weren't offended. But I'd have rather just left it like it was - I felt very beautiful and reverent today. <3

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#620 of 1083 Old 07-09-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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I have a question for you mamas, especially Muslim mamas...

Are you offended if you see a non-Muslim wearing a hijab? I have a beautiful scarf that went with my outfit today and found a beautiful hijab wrap to do with it. I ended up changing the way I had it on before going to DH's work because I know there are several Muslim women there and 1) I didn't want to offend them and 2) I think DH would have been embarrassed even if the women weren't offended. But I'd have rather just left it like it was - I felt very beautiful and reverent today. <3
As I said in a different thread once, non-Muslim = not hijab. We don't have a lock on wrap styles. It's not like displaying a Christian cross or something where the form is the substance. You might find yourself being greeted as a Muslim, but no one's going to walk away in a huff should you correct them, and mostly Muslim people are happy to see people, of any faith, expressing a sense of modesty.
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#621 of 1083 Old 07-09-2009, 06:29 PM
 
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Oh no, I don't think anyone would be offended at all! If you've read this thread at all, you'll see that many, many different groups cover, not just Muslims. That said, as Liquesce said, you could find a Muslim who thinks you're Muslim. The worst thing that'll happen to you is they'll come up to you all happy saying "peace be upon you" and wondering why they don't know you already and if you're new in town.

One of my best friends (Muslim, Pakistani parents) was raised in a very un-diverse part of Ohio. When she got married she moved to NYC. She had no idea about the different types of headcoverings in the world so when she was in a store and saw another lady with a scarf on her head she said a big "as-salaamu `alaykum!" to her and got a very ugly look in return. Her husband later told her that the lady was actually Jewish. In this case, that lady was offended at being mistaken for a Muslim. So as long as you don't feel any offense at being thus mistaken, you'll be just fine.
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#622 of 1083 Old 07-10-2009, 12:03 AM
 
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For anyone interested in summer long-sleeve active wear, Land's End has ultraviolet protective wicking fabric jersey tops on sale for $9.99 here.
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#623 of 1083 Old 07-10-2009, 12:32 AM
 
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hello ladies.
Please bear with me as I vent just a little and get a few things off my shoulders.

DH and I signed divorce papers last week, and we go before the judge to finalize it on 4 Aug. Since then, everything I used to do on the outside feels...fake. I want to do nothing more than cover myself up from head to toe and disappear into the woodwork. I find myself second guessing what I am wearing. I usually dress really cute for work to look more friendly and to get better tips. But now, I feel like all I get is oogled and treated as a sex object. I really don't even know how to approach anything anymore. Everything seems... different.
It's like when I left DD's father, who was abusive. And I become rather... sexually oriented. This is like going in the completely opposite direction.

Anyway- I thought you ladies might understand where I am coming from a bit more than most of the other people around me.

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#624 of 1083 Old 07-10-2009, 01:12 AM
 
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I'm really sorry to hear that P&L. In the first couple of months after my first husband died I bought a lot of pink clothes, of which I had none at that point. A totally different situation all around, I know, but I guess my point is just that wanting to make changes to one's appearance at the time of emotional hardship, even if those changes don't necessarily have an obvious or typical connection to the hardship, seems pretty normal to me.
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#625 of 1083 Old 07-10-2009, 04:16 AM
 
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I'm really sorry to hear that P&L. In the first couple of months after my first husband died I bought a lot of pink clothes, of which I had none at that point. A totally different situation all around, I know, but I guess my point is just that wanting to make changes to one's appearance at the time of emotional hardship, even if those changes don't necessarily have an obvious or typical connection to the hardship, seems pretty normal to me.
Thanks Liquesce. It is nice to know someone understands.
Part of me wants to cut all my hair off, but I really want to grow it out, so I am fighting that urge. It is all just very... surreal right now.
It just seems like it is becoming a time that I need to focus on me and my relationship with God. I need to get my ducks in a row, etc. It occurred to me that in the last 6 years, it's always been me and someone else (romantically). Now it is going to be me and DD. That scares me, but makes me excited at the same time.

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#626 of 1083 Old 07-10-2009, 10:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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P&L.

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#627 of 1083 Old 08-12-2009, 08:25 PM
 
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We're in Lancaster, PA and we went to Hershey's today. Wow. It was a bonanza of covered/modest women.

I've fallen out of covering on a semi daily basis, and seeing all the Jewish, Muslim, Anabaptist ladies covered made me feel self conscious and awkward.

We're moving to an area (New York) where I'm much more likely to encounter covered women, but now that I won't be the only one, I'm almost more reluctant to cover...

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#628 of 1083 Old 08-12-2009, 09:28 PM
 
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We're moving to an area (New York) where I'm much more likely to encounter covered women, but now that I won't be the only one, I'm almost more reluctant to cover...
Like NYC? Will we be neighbors?

There are a lot of women who cover and dress modestly here - not by any means a majority of course - and I mostly get the same feeling you got at Hershey any time I leave the house without covering or with a shirt I perceive as less modest. I also feel obligated to set an example in some way.

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#629 of 1083 Old 08-12-2009, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love Lancaster.

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#630 of 1083 Old 08-12-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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P&L--that's a beautiful, funny story about your dd and the "Mary Lady." my dd also is quite taken with the aesthetics of head covering, and i could relate to that.

smeis--your 4th of july story made me want to cry. i don't understand how people can be as angry, hateful, and prejudiced as they are. i'm glad you spoke up.

i do not yet cover but continue to be glad i can check in here and learn. i do not have a religious reason to cover but feel drawn to it inexplicably. i do not want to cover in imitation of anyone, yet i feel very comfortable and ahppy in a hard to explain way when i am around covered women. my family and friends typically try to get me to cover less of my body, so i don't know how it would go over. my dp would go along, with a shrug of the shoulders.

anyhow....still here, reading, learning, praying.

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