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-   -   Very disturbed at apparent war on women - rant!! (http://www.mothering.com/forum/14-activism-news/1395975-very-disturbed-apparent-war-women-rant.html)

Viola P 01-17-2014 11:01 PM

I have no idea if this is the right place to post this...

Today I woke up and was listening to democracy now with Amy goodman (who I love) and the first two stories were about a teenage girl called Audrie Pott who killed herself after being drugged and gang raped at a party and having her body desecrated and photographed while she was passed out then having the pictures circulated. Three of the rapists got 30 days in jail to be served on weekends and one got 45 consecutive days. It was totally disgusting and abhorrent. Then, the next news story was about these ass hat republicans that are making it illegal to use tax payer money to pay for abortion and a clip was payed from one of the chief ass hats who said something like "there's no doubt that we want this bill passed because its the morally right thing to do but it's also very true that having more babies is good for the economy". Apparently there was not a single woman invited to the ass hat meeting where all this was being discussed.

I am absolutely horrified and offended that the f*ucking patriarchy is continuing to expand its message that women's only value is as vessels for babies. It is disgusting and for the first time in a long time in could actually see myself getting involved in some kind of activism, which leads me to my second point. Why the hell aren't women clueing into the fact that we are getting more and more f*cked with each passing day, having our basic liberties violated and bein treated like shitty pieces of property. Where the hell is the feminist movement in response to this.

It is so disgusting.

I guess I just needed to rant.

farmermomma 01-17-2014 11:31 PM

Yuck.

What kind of activism are you thinking about?

Viola P 01-18-2014 12:09 AM

I have no ideA. I just finished reading the women's room so I think that made me think about the radical feminism in the 70's.
Guess it's kinda weird to me that so many women these days don't seem to feel the need for feminism when just in the 70's many women saw its value

farmermomma 01-18-2014 02:29 PM

Feminism has bit us in the butt. Well not entirely but has been used against us. We fought so hard for choices of career or motherhood. Now we're expected to do both. We're expected to make our own way financially even though we still don't make as much money. I feel like we're playing with my big brother whenever I win something he finds a way to use it against me.

Viola P 01-18-2014 02:45 PM

Ha ha, yeah becoming a mother has given
Me new perspective on these kinds of things. Agreed that the double expectations are highly annoying plus unfair. I think that's maybe getting a bit better. For example, two grandmas I know (including MIL) who both stayed home dont understand why mom (who works as much as dad) needs and deserves a break like dad. They think mom should always be doing some kind of work but yet are very supportive of dad having down time. But the women i know who are my age and work don't put up with that.

It's just really weird how we have to be so constantly vigilant as there's apparently always a movement to imprison and disempower us.

Why isn't there a feminist movement in response to these things? Any ideas?

rachelsmama 01-18-2014 02:56 PM

You might enjoy "How to Be A Woman" by Caitlin Moran.  I struggle with the issue of feminism, and why we still need to fight for our rights, and how the hell to go about advocating for myself and other women without getting dismissed as an hysterical female, and how sexism negatively impacts my son (he likes to wear dresses, and anti-female sexism is the reason that's seen as a negative by some people), etc....  Moran doesn't really offer any earth shattering solutions, but she does a good job of expressing some of the messed up stuff in a way that's articulate and funny.


philomom 01-18-2014 04:42 PM

Write letters to your representatives. Give money to women's rights organizations. Volunteer your time to empower young women and teach your sons how to behave with any young women who may come into their lives.

Viola P 01-18-2014 05:26 PM

I was given the Moran book for Christmas but I just can't get into the style. I like political fiction more like handmaids tale or women's room.


I know what you mean philomom, it's just frustrate that were loosing more and more and many women don't seem to care. I'd rather see a real activist movement than participate in "arm chair" activism.

Viola P 01-18-2014 05:30 PM

I hope the arm chair activist comment wasn't too negative. I'm just wondering why there aren't protests and marches like there were in the 70s.

I guess maybe its just a matter of time.

philomom 01-18-2014 10:54 PM

Volunteering isn't just armchair. I give my time and hours of my life each year to worthy causes. Warm bodies DO make a difference on many occasions.

Protest rallies have never really been my style. I'm sure you can find some if you look around.

Viola P 01-19-2014 04:57 AM

Agreed that volunteering isn't armchair but donating money is. I'm not saying its not necessary just not what I'm really interested in or what I think would be especially helpful. I miss what I've read was the radical feminism of the 60s and 70s. Where did it go??

There aren't any protests around where I live as its all smaller towns. Even in the nearest big city I really doubt that there's anything like that. Why is that?

It's so weird that our rights are being trampled and it appears to be business as usual. I just don't get it.

Katie8681 01-19-2014 12:11 PM

Viola, as a midwife, I RAGE for so many of my patients. I catch babies at a religiously affiliated hospital in a rural area. "If you don't like it, go somewhere else for treatment" doesn't work around here. Leads to some tragic situations. Things need to CHANGE.

Viola P 01-19-2014 10:06 PM

I read Ina Mays guide to childbirth and apparently in the 70s the feminist movement succeeded in getting locks put on hospital rooms to give mom control over who got in. How far we've fallen!

Mrs Jay Jay 04-25-2014 07:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FarmerMomma View Post

Feminism has bit us in the butt. Well not entirely but has been used against us. We fought so hard for choices of career or motherhood. Now we're expected to do both. We're expected to make our own way financially even though we still don't make as much money. I feel like we're playing with my big brother whenever I win something he finds a way to use it against me.


Such a good way of putting it!

 

Feminism certainly appears to be floundering. The scariest thing is that there are many teenager girls I know who would flinch if you asked if they were a feminism. They think it is all hairy armpits and man-bashing. There are so many different strands of 'feminism' today, and so man different conflicting role models (From Hillary Clinton to Laurie Pennie to Beyonce) that we have forgotten that we are in the same boat, and need to be paddeling in the same direction.


philomom 04-27-2014 01:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola P View Post

I read Ina Mays guide to childbirth and apparently in the 70s the feminist movement succeeded in getting locks put on hospital rooms to give mom control over who got in. How far we've fallen!


Huh? I had complete control over who was at my birth in a hospital. The midwife and the nurses were very respectful of my wishes. What are you trying to imply here?

Viola P 04-27-2014 02:01 PM

I'm not implying anything but I am reporting that my experience was not respectful at all. Not only were there people present in the room that I explicitly said I didn't want there (a specific nurse) I was also forced to undergo fetal monitoring (despite that I was screaming "no, no", starved for two days, forced to labour on my back with my knees pinned to my chest, and given pitocin after I said to stop the treatment. It's absolutely wonderful that you had such a different experience but I can't imagine that you extrapolate that as a universal experience for all women.

philomom 04-27-2014 05:33 PM

So, what points are you trying to make with the war on women rant? What specifically are you concerned about here and how will you raise your daughter and her friends to stem the tide of "wrongness" that you see?



Sorry your birth experience was so horrible but my births were amazing. Sometimes a person can prepare all they like and it just comes down to luck, fate or something. A dear friend of mine who was much more crunchy than me just had a terrible first birth ending in a c-section. Even though she knew all about the "cascade of interventions" that can happen when you enter the hospital... it happened to her anyway. She was prepared, trusted her birth team and had a terrific caring husband at her side the same as me.. but it did not help her.

Viola P 04-27-2014 06:00 PM

It just a rant.

I think there are some serious systemic issues happening in birthing wards. If you don't that's totally fine, maybe this thread isn't for you.

ETA: the war on women is being fought in maternity wards. Forgot what I originally wrote. But seriously philo mom, are you a philosopher? There's a page on the standard encyclopedia of philosophy called "pregnancy birth and medicine" thats largely about ethical issues in the childbirth context and maternal-fetal conflict. This isn't just one weird lady or a small group of deranged baby hating fanatics. There's so much information on the issue out there.

Viola P 04-27-2014 06:18 PM

Also, my second birth was unassisted and was totally amazing. It's amazing how different t was being in a place where I had total control over my body, and not just control so long as I was choosing an option that was acceptable to others. Not one check, not one directive, and totally amazing!


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