|Let's stop heaping shame upon unwed mothers. Instead, we need non-judgemental support for unwed mothers and unwed pregnant women
ITA!!! I am about as RTL as a person can be and I am loving the idea and theme in this thread. Alot more could be accomplished if we worked together on issues that surround abortion.
I was pregnant with my first child and was unwed, although living with the father. I was still embarassed many, many times. I would see people look at my belly, my face and then my hands to see if I was wearing a ring. I used to hide my hands alot just to keep people from judging me. FTR we did marry and now have a son too. I think because as was stated earlier this country seems to look at young pregnant women as a "problem" I was looked at even more closely than if I was perhaps ten years older. I was pg with my first at 23 - hardly a child. I was pg with ds at 26 and still people did the same thing!!!!!!
Now to address the original post. While not all people view sex as a sacred act, I believe that most people can identify the human body as special and worhty of respect. Most people view the personhood of an individual as very important and I think that these are areas taht are highly neglected in our society today.
The media at large teaches women to dress and act sexy at such young ages, frighteningly young IMO. Boys are taught that to be "cool" or wahtever the term of the day is they need to "get some" and girls are buying into that same mentality as well. Girls parade around dressed in as little as possible to entice boys to look. Boys look, ask out and eventually expect something from her.
Now before someone flames me for talking about dress here I have a valid point.
If a relationship is based on physical attraction adn trpohy value alone, if she looks easy or willing as a base, then there is no real foundation of the relationship anyway. He has not learned of her personhood, her mind, heart, dreams. Only her body is paid attention to. Many girls are just the same when it comes to boys.
Covering up will not solve this. This requires quite a shift that needs to come from home and at least a little in schools. KWIM?
When asked don't I think that a woman has a right to decide what happens to her body and choose if she wants to have children, I answer with this: Yes. She can decide if she wishes to have sex and if so to choose which form of contraception is best and will be most effective for her. Threrfor I believe in contraception education and education about absitnence as well. NO WOMAN OR MAN SHOULD EVER FEEL THEY "HAVE" TO SLEEP WITH ANYONE. This should be the focus of absitnance education.
Too many times it is either expected of them or they feel pushed into it. People need to learn how to respect themselves and their bodies first, then it will naturally carry over to to other areas of life. People need to be taught that each individual person is worthy of respect and is valuable regardless of social or economic standing. That getting to know someone is important and that you can certainly enjoy being with someone without having sex with them.
Sex is literally bombarding our children at infancy. Think about waht children see on a daily basis. Go to the grocery, sexually provocative magazine covers, just channel surf for almost any kind of sexual activity imaginable on basic cable at all hours of the day, music, MTV, magazines, other kids, clothing available. Don't get me started on the clothing rant. I will just this: I would not dress my three year old in daisy dukes and a belly shirt. What does that teach her??? What does that teach my son????
we can closely monitor what our children see when watching tv and on the web, we can ask and ask and ask at the stores to put blinders on the covers of sexually charged mag covers and we can most importantly teach our children to hold themselves and their sexuality in esteem.
Esteem in youth, contraception in adults. together this will work. But still women and men will choose to not use it, regardles of what STD's they may get, the babies they may abort or the regrets they may one day have.
I am Christian, I will teach my children abstinance. Certainly. I will also teach contraception. It is part of becoming an adult to learn about fertility and how the body works, we now have many ways to take charge of that fertility and I will begin that subject when my dd becomes a fertile woman.
i am not naieve either. Sex feels good, it is a strong drive, it can be overwhelming in the heat of the moment. While I hope and pray that my dd and ds will give their future spouses the gift of their virginity, I am not denying that may not happen.
Respect for ones personhood and contraception can go a long, long way.
I am not sure how people on the other side of the fence feel about this, but I also think that caring for a child as a young mother is made too difficult. Schools ALL schools, places of business and such should be required to offer FREE and GOOD, SAFE daycare for those children so the mom can stay in school and then transition to a job untill she gets on her feet and can pay for quality daycare.
If the mother does not want to raise the child adoption should be focused on as well as just saying to "get rid of it". Adoption needs to made much less expensive. All good homes cannot afford the steep fees for adoption. We can provide nicely for our children but we could have never even afforded 5000.00 to adopt.
Adoption should not be something that only more wealthy people can afford, but something looked at as a real service for and to the mothers and children who need loving, safe good homes.
Homelife should be emphasised more than anything and fees if needed should be rock bottom or waived just to get these children out of the "system" and into families where they will be loved and cherished. Cut the red tape and the bull. Do something real about this. Aborting is not the answer to this situation, less greed is. I do not know all the scrutiny that a family goes through to adopt, but I think much of it may be frivolous, like income requirements, like as if a poor family are less qualified to care for a child than one that makes more money. As long as food can shelter and clothing can be met, nough said!