"Princess Boy" and letting our children be proud of who they are - Mothering Forums
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Books, Music, and Media > "Princess Boy" and letting our children be proud of who they are
Dr.Worm's Avatar Dr.Worm 07:51 AM 01-04-2011

Yesterday I was watching "The Today Show" and saw Cheryl Kilodavis with her little boy.  Don't know if anyone saw this but her little boy likes to dress as a princess and she wanted him to be proud of himself for who he is so she and her husband let him do it and then she wrote the book called "Princess Boy."  My boy is only four months but I am going to get a copy and save it for him.  She has a website and everything.  It just brought tears to my eyes to see the love and acceptance this mother and father showed their son.  Also, the older sibling because it was him that said "why don't you just let him be happy?"  What a lovely family.  I recorded it and watched it with my mom, who also thought it was wonderful.  www.myprincessboy.com



happysmileylady's Avatar happysmileylady 08:03 AM 01-04-2011

I guess what I don't get is...if you don't want it to be a big deal, why make it a big deal by writing a book and a blog and going on tv or whatever other attention getting things these folks are doing. 


dfunk98's Avatar dfunk98 08:09 AM 01-04-2011

I don't think they're making a big deal about by writing a book about it.  i think they wrote the book to tell other families that there is a wide range of "normal" and that they love their son no matter what he wears.  talk about the ultimate example of teaching your children, "it's what's on the inside that counts".


lach's Avatar lach 08:11 AM 01-04-2011

I think they're looking for their 15 minutes, and I think that making such a big deal about it denormalizes the fact that *gasp* sometimes boys like pink sparklie things, just like sometimes girls like trucks and footballs.  Call the news media!  (Oh wait, that's what they did).  My 22mo basically lives in his big sister's tutus and I don't think that it's particularly remarkable at all.  They're pretty, he looks up to her, he likes that everyone says "Oh how cute!" when he twirls around.  Most kids, both boys and girls, grow out of the princess dress phase.  

 

I think the parents are just looking to make a buck off their kid, and I hope that he's okay with this when he's 15.


nextcommercial's Avatar nextcommercial 08:18 AM 01-04-2011

I also think it's not a big deal... I'd happily write a children's book about whatever subject I liked, and would sell.  But, I don't think I would make such a big deal about my own son wanting to wear princess stuff.  What if, in two years, he wants to wear a football helmet everywhere?  Will he feel pressured to keep wearing his tiara?

 

I think kids all go through stages, and parents can either encourage, discourage, or support.  

 

By the way, one of the best kid's books ever was "William's doll".  Everybody tells him he can't have a doll because he's a boy.  But, grandma understands, and sends him a doll in the mail.  Grandma says he can use it to practice being a good father.  I don't know if that book is still around, and it's very old, and probably not cool anymore.  But, I loved that book when I was young.  (they read it on reading rainbow)


lach's Avatar lach 08:19 AM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by dfunk98 View Post

I don't think they're making a big deal about by writing a book about it.  i think they wrote the book to tell other families that there is a wide range of "normal" and that they love their son no matter what he wears.  talk about the ultimate example of teaching your children, "it's what's on the inside that counts".



You don't think that writing a book and launching a major publicity campaign is "making a big deal"?  And since the book is about appearances, it does seem that's what counts to the parents.  Without the appearance, they wouldn't have their new career.


lindberg99's Avatar lindberg99 08:49 AM 01-04-2011

I think it's a big deal. You can support your child without going to the media about it. My son used to play dress up all the time with his sister and the neighbor girl until he was I guess 5 or 6? I never thought much of it. He is 10 now and it is tough getting him to wear anything besides a t-shirt and jeans. He would be completely mortified if there were pictures of him floating around on the web wearing a princess outfits when he was in preschool.


lach's Avatar lach 08:53 AM 01-04-2011

LOL, I think I've posted too much in this thread, but I just have one more thing to say... I think it's really awful to pigeon-hole a preschooler as to "who they are."  If a 15 year old wants to pigeon hole themselves, then I would fully support that, even if in some cases I have a feeling they might regret a choice or two that they make while establishing their identity.  But to say that all this kid is is a kid who likes to wear dresses is really a bit much.  Kids that age go in and out of interests as they try to figure out the world and their place in it.  These parents are saying that their son's only identity is as a princess dress wearer.


oaktreemama's Avatar oaktreemama 09:06 AM 01-04-2011

I guess the message is ok but I sure don't like the medium. I have never been a fan of parents using a child to push a particular message (regardless of how worthwhile it may be)-especially when money is involved.


The4OfUs's Avatar The4OfUs 09:20 AM 01-04-2011

So, I have a daughter who is into a lot of "boy" things.  But sometimes, she also very much is into "girl" things.  You never know which you're going to get from day to day, or even hour to hour.  Which is fine, we roll with it.   She was Yoda for Halloween....and got a princess dress she adores for Christmas.  She's my renaissance girl. 

 

All of that is for this:  I saw this family on another show a month or two ago, and the boy was looking very unhappy - they said it was becasue he had a cold, but I was just thinking, what if it was a day he wanted to just wear jeans and a shirt but he "had" to wear a dress for that day?  Apparently the kiddo likes all different sorts of things, "pretty things" just being among them.  And I just thought about what it would be like trying to convince my daughter to wear her yoda shirt and jeans on a "dress day", and how making this big fuss over this one aspect of his life right now is potentially, as lach mentioned, putting too much emphasis on something that is so fluid at this age.


Ornery's Avatar Ornery 09:26 AM 01-04-2011

Not quite sure what is so special about this, as my now 15 year old used to do it 13 years ago.  He wore tutus and tiaras every day to preschool for quite awhile.  And now my 4 year old occasionally does it.  Pink and sparkly is fun.  Pink, sparkly tutus are especially fun.  Heck if I could pull them off, I would.  So in my family, it is normal for my boys to dress like princesses.  It is also normal for them to, gasp, play with dolls (even nurse them), play with kitchens, play with barbies, etc.  In fact, it is pretty darn normal in my circle of friends (most of whom are really rather conservative) to allow our children to be who they want to be.  I can't tell you the number of times my son's friends have shown up in dresses or with their nails painted or whatever.  No one thinks twice about it.

 

It always scares me when parents go so far out there to "prove" they are okay with something.  The whole "the lady doth protest too much, methinks" thing I think. 


lach's Avatar lach 10:40 AM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ornery View Post

Not quite sure what is so special about this, as my now 15 year old used to do it 13 years ago.  He wore tutus and tiaras every day to preschool for quite awhile.  And now my 4 year old occasionally does it.  Pink and sparkly is fun.  Pink, sparkly tutus are especially fun.  Heck if I could pull them off, I would.  So in my family, it is normal for my boys to dress like princesses.  It is also normal for them to, gasp, play with dolls (even nurse them), play with kitchens, play with barbies, etc.  In fact, it is pretty darn normal in my circle of friends (most of whom are really rather conservative) to allow our children to be who they want to be.  I can't tell you the number of times my son's friends have shown up in dresses or with their nails painted or whatever.  No one thinks twice about it.

 

It always scares me when parents go so far out there to "prove" they are okay with something.  The whole "the lady doth protest too much, methinks" thing I think. 


And it's not only that someone is trying to package this and sell it, it's that there's obviously a market of people who want to pat themselves on the back for being so enlightened.  But I guess I just don't see how it's particularly enlightened: I think that most preschool boys, particularly those with older sisters who have lots of this stuff around, occasionally like to play dressup in girls clothes.  I'm sure there are a handful of parents who actively forbid their son to play dressup in their sister's dressup clothes... but I don't actually believe that these people are anything but a weird, small minority.  Much larger is probably the number of parents who wouldn't let their sons leave the house like that (to be fair, I don't let either of my kids leave the house in dress-up clothes: they're rarely weather appropriate, hard to strap into the carseat, and most of them a PITA to wash if they get too dirty) or who make an off color joke under their breath, but that doesn't mean they're crushing their child's soul or anything. Even if they're the sort who would be upset if their older son wanted to wear "girl" things, I think that 98% of people wouldn't think twice if their 3 year old wanted to wear "wrong sex" dressup clothes around the house.

 


Anastasiya's Avatar Anastasiya 11:01 AM 01-04-2011

I too, find it sad.

 

They've made a spectacle of him in spite of the fact that what he does is not spectacular. I would never have THOUGHT to write a book about my dress-wearing, tutu-loving, nail-polish-painting 5 year old, for all the reasons the above posters mentioned.

 

Now "Princess Boy" has become his whole identity and what happens when he doesn't live up to it anymore?

 


VisionaryMom's Avatar VisionaryMom 11:02 AM 01-04-2011

All parents who write use their children as examples. The writers for Mothering are no exception. This mother just has an exceptional understanding of marketing as well. (I'm a copywriter. I'm not saying that from a place of judgment, but she's doing exactly what's taught in learning to ply our craft.)


Tigerchild's Avatar Tigerchild 11:12 AM 01-04-2011

Yeah, I have to say that even when I was growing up (on military bases, not exactly the bastion of liberal "enlightened" thinking in many ways) I did not know a single kid during the dress up years who did not put on dresses and tutus if they were a boy.  When I was a preschool teacher, despite the fact that I invested my own $$ in easy to put on accessories like lab coats and hats and stuff that could be "unisex" boys and girls loved the tutus and dance costumes best.  Hell, I have never seen more adult drag since I grew up and left the military either (I have a ton of pictures of my dad in coconut bras and church lady dresses with big balloon boobs and no, you would NEVER EVER even DREAM that he would do that if you met him.)

 

They're easy to put on (most of them) and are sparkly.  I also can't think of a single younger brother who did not have his hair done/nails painted by older sissy in my extended family (very VERY conservative southern).

 

That being said, I get that this mom wants to make a statement.  I feel bad that apparently she gets a lot of crap from people she knows, so she feels she must react to it.  I don't think there is anything wrong with the book, and I don't see this as her using her kids for fame any more than the paid blogger fad that was all the rage awhile ago (maybe still is).  I do kind of hope though that she is keeping in mind that her cute Princess Boy may not want that title forever, and that she's willing to set it aside when he wants to.  I suspect that will not be a problem for her, nor will this have any lasting impact on him negatively--it's a flash in the pan, and if this kid's most incriminating thing that one can find about him as a teen is that there are some pics of him in a skirt when he was 5 years old, he's doing pretty darn good (and he will NOT be the only one with such pics either).

 

I do agree with other PP that it does get a little eyeroller-y when people congratuate themselves for being so open minded, unlike all those "other" people (name your poison here--people with different religious/political/social values than you).  It's ironic, since the congratulator is closing their own mind in that regard, and is unenlightened to the fact that many many people of all stripes don't care if their boys dress up like whatever, and think it's cute and take pictures.

 

I also find it supremely ironic that if this were a girl, you would have a bunch of people here screaming that playing princess would rot her brain and glitter on the clothing means hooker in training.  :P  In my mind, glitter is glitter, don't care if my kids like it, and I don't think what they choose to play with or dress up as at age 3, 6, 12, 22 defines them--boy or girl.


TiredX2's Avatar TiredX2 11:16 AM 01-04-2011
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oaktreemama's Avatar oaktreemama 11:22 AM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by VisionaryMom View Post

All parents who write use their children as examples. The writers for Mothering are no exception. This mother just has an exceptional understanding of marketing as well. (I'm a copywriter. I'm not saying that from a place of judgment, but she's doing exactly what's taught in learning to ply our craft.)



Yes but I am not trying to make money using my son. That to me is a whole nother ball of wax.


Tigerchild's Avatar Tigerchild 11:49 AM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by oaktreemama View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by VisionaryMom View Post

All parents who write use their children as examples. The writers for Mothering are no exception. This mother just has an exceptional understanding of marketing as well. (I'm a copywriter. I'm not saying that from a place of judgment, but she's doing exactly what's taught in learning to ply our craft.)



Yes but I am not trying to make money using my son. That to me is a whole nother ball of wax.



 Yes, but why is writing THIS book different than what parenting books authors do when they're using their own experiences as parents?  It's not okay for SAHMs to write empowering books, because they're writing about being a mom with by necessity will include bits about their kids?  What about all the WAHMs who were inspired to create their diapers/businesses centered around their enjoyment of CDing their kids, who might use their kids as examples on their sites?  Or slings?

 

So no mother (or father) may ever write about their kids if they intend to sell the book?  No one had ever better use any of their kids' pictures if they're selling a product?  Nannies/home day care providers better not use their parenting experience as a way to market themselves?


nextcommercial's Avatar nextcommercial 01:00 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild 


 Yes, but why is writing THIS book different than what parenting books authors do when they're using their own experiences as parents?  It's not okay for SAHMs to write empowering books, because they're writing about being a mom with by necessity will include bits about their kids?  What about all the WAHMs who were inspired to create their diapers/businesses centered around their enjoyment of CDing their kids, who might use their kids as examples on their sites?  Or slings?

 

So no mother (or father) may ever write about their kids if they intend to sell the book?  No one had ever better use any of their kids' pictures if they're selling a product?  Nannies/home day care providers better not use their parenting experience as a way to market themselves?


That is still very different though.  I'm not saying this mom is USING her son to make money.  I think she genuinely thinks it's the right thing to do.  


But, if a Mom wrote a book about her lady-like daughter and her daughter's choice to only wear princess clothes, people here would be very angry.  

 

I think taking this boy out into the media in his dresses sets him up to feel like he's letting someone down if he choses to stop wearing princess clothes.  I don't know... I didn't see the interview, or the story... but, it reminds me a little bit of the father who said his six year old floated away in that homemade weather balloon.  Dad wanted attention, and his son was the perfect person to get it for him.


oaktreemama's Avatar oaktreemama 01:14 PM 01-04-2011

 

Quote:
 Dad wanted attention, and his son was the perfect person to get it for him.

 

Much better stated. I just think she is using her son to "prove" something. To me it is much different than using a picture of your daughter to sell your handmade slings. The focus doesn't seem to be so much of a look how awesome my son is, but rather a look how awesome WE are as parents. Like they deserve all this recognition for not making fun of their kid who wears a tutu.

 

And that is where she loses me.


jeanine123's Avatar jeanine123 01:59 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by oaktreemama View Post

 

Quote:
 Dad wanted attention, and his son was the perfect person to get it for him.

 

Much better stated. I just think she is using her son to "prove" something. To me it is much different than using a picture of your daughter to sell your handmade slings. The focus doesn't seem to be so much of a look how awesome my son is, but rather a look how awesome WE are as parents. Like they deserve all this recognition for not making fun of their kid who wears a tutu.

 

And that is where she loses me.


For me the difference lies in the fact that the fictional person in this quote is selling slings and happens to be using one of her kids as a model.  She isn't selling her child's love of wearing dresses and the concept of allowing kids to experiment and try on new personalities. 


lach's Avatar lach 02:41 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by oaktreemama View Post

 

Quote:
 Dad wanted attention, and his son was the perfect person to get it for him.

 

Much better stated. I just think she is using her son to "prove" something. To me it is much different than using a picture of your daughter to sell your handmade slings. The focus doesn't seem to be so much of a look how awesome my son is, but rather a look how awesome WE are as parents. Like they deserve all this recognition for not making fun of their kid who wears a tutu.

 

And that is where she loses me.


For me the difference lies in the fact that the fictional person in this quote is selling slings and happens to be using one of her kids as a model.  She isn't selling her child's love of wearing dresses and the concept of allowing kids to experiment and try on new personalities. 


Sling-making-mama also isn't selling her kid as rebelling against society.  You can argue that sometimes slings get weird looks, but I can pretty much guarantee you that no one in junior high school gym class has ever been teased for being worn in a sling as an infant (let alone been tortured or killed for it!).  Adults cross dressing is not accepted by many people in our society, and I applaud anyone who bucks that societal expectation and makes a stand saying "this is who I am, and I think you should accept me."  But the teenager or adult who does that accepts any societal repercussions that come with going against the grain.

 

This is a very young child who 1) is not actually bucking any societal expectations (is there ANYONE on this thread who thinks it's weird for a preschool boy to play dress up in a girl's dress?) and 2) did not consent in any way to be the poster child for bucking societal expectations.  He's being sold (literally) as something that he's not, in a way that could have real social repercussions for him down the road, and without his consent.

 

If, in 15 years, he and his parents want to co-write this exact book, I would applaud it.  But as it is, it's a selfish ploy on the part of his parents to make some money and gain some infamy.


MusicianDad's Avatar MusicianDad 02:59 PM 01-04-2011

I'm not seeing how this is using her son to make money. Does the book mention her son by name? Does it specifically identify the child in question as the authors child? Or is it just a book about a boy that likes princess things and dressing up like a princess? And why is it "using your child" when the topic of the book is something that goes against societal norms?

 

And where are all these parents living where a boy who loves "girl stuff" is going to be widely accepted by society as a whole? I'm really curious, I live in a part of a very liberal country that is often considered too liberal and we still get plenty of people who think they need to tell us and our son that dresses and pink are for girls. To be honest it does sound like there are people in this thread who are uncomfortable with the subject of the book and trying to find other reasons to dislike it.


Chamomile Girl's Avatar Chamomile Girl 03:00 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post



Quote:
 

This is a very young child who 1) is not actually bucking any societal expectations (is there ANYONE on this thread who thinks it's weird for a preschool boy to play dress up in a girl's dress?) and 2) did not consent in any way to be the poster child for bucking societal expectations.  He's being sold (literally) as something that he's not, in a way that could have real social repercussions for him down the road, and without his consent.

 

If, in 15 years, he and his parents want to co-write this exact book, I would applaud it.  But as it is, it's a selfish ploy on the part of his parents to make some money and gain some infamy.


I don't think that the folks who frequent MDC are a very good sample population to determine the social acceptability of prepubescent cross dressing.  I know my family would FREAK OUT if they saw my 18mo old son in a dress.  Because I was raised in such a restrictive gender-norm society, gender roles are my activist cause and my hill to die on.  I would totally use my son to get that message across, you had better believe it!  In fact I do in a way as I now make most of his clothes.  He is my little gender-neutral billboard.

 

Would I see it as a ploy to gain personal infamy if I wrote a book about my princess-loving son?  No way.  I would see it as my attempt to further normalize his behavior.  So its not that the parents are saying "Hey, our son likes dresses because he is a freak".  No, they are saying "Boys (like our son) can like dresses and that is OK.  I really don't see the issue here.

 

I applaud them.


Spring Lily's Avatar Spring Lily 03:05 PM 01-04-2011
I didn't watch the clip, but I saw photos and I notice this family is African American, I ve to wonder if culture is playing into this. Perhaps in some social circles, even conservative ones, this kind of dress up play is ok, but it's seen as more taboo in other cultures? I just mention it because I know there are a lot of African Americans who have very strict views on homosexuality and could see this as a real issue, related to that.

I think it's great that the book exists, but I don't like this being about "who the child is." They are a CHILD, that's all, and while some may be transgendered and are beginning to realize that, the majority of boys dressing up as ballerinas/fairies/princesses are not. So it shouldn't be turned into something it's not.
The4OfUs's Avatar The4OfUs 03:35 PM 01-04-2011



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post

I'm not seeing how this is using her son to make money. Does the book mention her son by name? Does it specifically identify the child in question as the authors child? Or is it just a book about a boy that likes princess things and dressing up like a princess? And why is it "using your child" when the topic of the book is something that goes against societal norms?

 

And where are all these parents living where a boy who loves "girl stuff" is going to be widely accepted by society as a whole? I'm really curious, I live in a part of a very liberal country that is often considered too liberal and we still get plenty of people who think they need to tell us and our son that dresses and pink are for girls. To be honest it does sound like there are people in this thread who are uncomfortable with the subject of the book and trying to find other reasons to dislike it.

For me, there's a fine line between letting your child be who they are and all the different things they like and embracing that, and promoting it as a cause or pushing the kid in one direction or another.  Here's another thing that rubbed me the wrong way a bit; when I've seen segments on TV or the internet, it seems like it's just the same couple pictures of him....it just feels to me like this is one aspect of something he likes, and they're turning it into who he is.  I feel like this family is veering too much into the promotion aspect for my personal liking, pushing too much if you will - I am all for kids experimenting with different things they might like; I can list out my cred with my daughter and son, if I need to - I just....the book, the talk shows, it feels more exploitative than embracing their son for who he is and letting him experiment with all the different things he can like and not like in a supportive environment.

 

I actually just had to have this conversation with my mom over the holiday because my almost 7 yo son had on some of the "sugarplum" glitter nailpolish my 4-yo picked out for me, and she was surprised/unimpressed - whatever, they're still stuck in that caring what people think thing.  I'm not sweating her and my dad disagreeing with me letting my 7-yo son wear nailpolish.  DH and I were on the same page, and that's all that matters.

 

Well, turns out it didn't all wear off and we forgot about it and he still had some left on his nails when they went back to school, a girl said something to him like, 'nailpolish is only for girls!' and he said, "no way, my dad said rock star guys wear it all the time." and then another one of his buddies said that he had worn it a couple times, too.  And nobody has said anything to him since.

 

Annnnyway - I contemplated posting something about it on my blog or on FB because I was proud of him and his friend, but then rethought it because I didn't want it to become a "thing" for him, you know?  He's just barely 7, and he did a super thing and had a super friend back him up, and I told him "right on", etc in our own home and it was a great moment - no need to make a bigger case out of it than that - I think what happened was exactly what needs to happen for it to become more of a mainstream thing; people speak up against the stereotypes, and a friend backs them up - and that's how it spreads.  Next time someone says something to that litlte girl, maybe she'll say, "a couple boys in my school have worn nailpolish before, it's no big deal" and it spreads and spreads and spreads. 

 

annnnnyway annnnnyway....I'm pretty sure this little boy didn't ask to be brought on talk shows and have a book published about this one aspect of his very young life.  He could be a million things between now and then, and just...he didn't look happy or enthusiastic on the show I saw, and I dunno, if my kid was sick I'd probably call and cancel or reschedule or something...cause who wants to drag a sick kid onto a TV set?  I mean, he's 5 - that's a lot of pressure to put on a kid.


Tigerchild's Avatar Tigerchild 05:25 PM 01-04-2011

I don't know, a LOT of books and concepts (Free Range Kids, ect.) DO start out as "Hey, look at my cool kid.  It's because I am an awesome parent, look at how cool it is that I am parenting with this awesomey awesomesauce and doesn't it suck to be you out there in nonenlightenedland."  :)  Perhaps not that crass, but...

 

Even if I do agree with the concept, it is a little eyerollery, no matter who is doing it.  Just saying, this mama is not the first (nor the worst, in my opinion) offender about strutting her Awesomey McAwesomesauce for the world to see, pointing to her kid as proof of it.

 

I


MusicianDad's Avatar MusicianDad 06:06 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post

I'm not seeing how this is using her son to make money. Does the book mention her son by name? Does it specifically identify the child in question as the authors child? Or is it just a book about a boy that likes princess things and dressing up like a princess? And why is it "using your child" when the topic of the book is something that goes against societal norms?

 

And where are all these parents living where a boy who loves "girl stuff" is going to be widely accepted by society as a whole? I'm really curious, I live in a part of a very liberal country that is often considered too liberal and we still get plenty of people who think they need to tell us and our son that dresses and pink are for girls. To be honest it does sound like there are people in this thread who are uncomfortable with the subject of the book and trying to find other reasons to dislike it.

For me, there's a fine line between letting your child be who they are and all the different things they like and embracing that, and promoting it as a cause or pushing the kid in one direction or another.  Here's another thing that rubbed me the wrong way a bit; when I've seen segments on TV or the internet, it seems like it's just the same couple pictures of him....it just feels to me like this is one aspect of something he likes, and they're turning it into who he is.  I feel like this family is veering too much into the promotion aspect for my personal liking, pushing too much if you will - I am all for kids experimenting with different things they might like; I can list out my cred with my daughter and son, if I need to - I just....the book, the talk shows, it feels more exploitative than embracing their son for who he is and letting him experiment with all the different things he can like and not like in a supportive environment.

 

I actually just had to have this conversation with my mom over the holiday because my almost 7 yo son had on some of the "sugarplum" glitter nailpolish my 4-yo picked out for me, and she was surprised/unimpressed - whatever, they're still stuck in that caring what people think thing.  I'm not sweating her and my dad disagreeing with me letting my 7-yo son wear nailpolish.  DH and I were on the same page, and that's all that matters.

 

Well, turns out it didn't all wear off and we forgot about it and he still had some left on his nails when they went back to school, a girl said something to him like, 'nailpolish is only for girls!' and he said, "no way, my dad said rock star guys wear it all the time." and then another one of his buddies said that he had worn it a couple times, too.  And nobody has said anything to him since.

 

Annnnyway - I contemplated posting something about it on my blog or on FB because I was proud of him and his friend, but then rethought it because I didn't want it to become a "thing" for him, you know?  He's just barely 7, and he did a super thing and had a super friend back him up, and I told him "right on", etc in our own home and it was a great moment - no need to make a bigger case out of it than that - I think what happened was exactly what needs to happen for it to become more of a mainstream thing; people speak up against the stereotypes, and a friend backs them up - and that's how it spreads.  Next time someone says something to that litlte girl, maybe she'll say, "a couple boys in my school have worn nailpolish before, it's no big deal" and it spreads and spreads and spreads. 

 

annnnnyway annnnnyway....I'm pretty sure this little boy didn't ask to be brought on talk shows and have a book published about this one aspect of his very young life.  He could be a million things between now and then, and just...he didn't look happy or enthusiastic on the show I saw, and I dunno, if my kid was sick I'd probably call and cancel or reschedule or something...cause who wants to drag a sick kid onto a TV set?  I mean, he's 5 - that's a lot of pressure to put on a kid.


They are focusing on that part of him because that is what the books is about, that one aspect of him. The book is for kids 4 to 8, which means it isn't supposed to be a whole complicated story about who the kid is and what that means in the grand scheme of things. It's supposed to be about "this is my boy, he likes pink and glitter and princess stuff and that is ok." Mostly like what happened is his mom went out to try and find a book for her son that wasn't imbued with an insane amount of gender stereotypes in how boys are supposed to be and could find much of anything so she decided to write that book for the next parent that wanted to find something like that for their son.


The4OfUs's Avatar The4OfUs 06:37 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post


They are focusing on that part of him because that is what the books is about, that one aspect of him. The book is for kids 4 to 8, which means it isn't supposed to be a whole complicated story about who the kid is and what that means in the grand scheme of things. It's supposed to be about "this is my boy, he likes pink and glitter and princess stuff and that is ok." Mostly like what happened is his mom went out to try and find a book for her son that wasn't imbued with an insane amount of gender stereotypes in how boys are supposed to be and could find much of anything so she decided to write that book for the next parent that wanted to find something like that for their son.


True enough.
 


nextcommercial's Avatar nextcommercial 07:24 PM 01-04-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post

They are focusing on that part of him because that is what the books is about, that one aspect of him. The book is for kids 4 to 8, which means it isn't supposed to be a whole complicated story about who the kid is and what that means in the grand scheme of things. It's supposed to be about "this is my boy, he likes pink and glitter and princess stuff and that is ok." Mostly like what happened is his mom went out to try and find a book for her son that wasn't imbued with an insane amount of gender stereotypes in how boys are supposed to be and could find much of anything so she decided to write that book for the next parent that wanted to find something like that for their son.


I do agree with that part.  I'd probably happily buy that book. Heck I'd write that book.  But, I wouldn't take my son on talk shows.  I wouldn't put my family problems on Dr Phil for the same reason... it brings unwanted attention on the children.  Even if only for a short time.  (I always wonder how dr Phil thinks he's protecting the kids by blurring their faces... as if you won't know their parents)

 

Remember that boy wearing the awesome Daphne costume at his preschool Halloween party?  He probably had on the BEST costume in the entire class!  But, he ended up with some attention that he didn't want or ask for because of her blog.  I seriously doubt she had any idea it would get posted all over the US like it did.  Seriously.. it was on every other facebook post.   OK.. that was a really great costume... and he did really rock that wig.  But, still.  He's going to be mad about that some day.  It's like having your mom come into school wearing bright red sweat pants and a Mork and Mindy  T-shirt just to bring in your lunch box.  

 

Also... I'll admit, I come from a different lifestyle, and a different place than others might.  So, to me, even thinking it's weird to see a little boy dressed like a girl, or a little girl dressed like a boy seems odd.  I don't know why anybody would gasp at a boy in a tutu.  Maybe "Gasp... how cute is he????"  But, not "Wow.  That's going to totally make him gay ya know".    So, I think in other parts of the US, that would be something to talk about.  Just not here, so I don't really "get" all the hype.  I don't think it's all that impressive of the parents.  


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