Books for young kids about terminally ill grandparents? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 01-16-2011, 05:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
Katielady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 2,048
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My mom has stage 4 cancer and has been told she only has a few years to live. My dad is having open heart surgery next week to get his aortic valve replaced and three coronary arteries bypassed.

 

I've been trying not to discuss this stuff in front of DS, 4.5, so far because we were still kind of waiting to see the prognosis on my mom. The stuff with my dad just came out this past week. But I'm sure DS is hearing things, he's very perceptive. So I figure it's time to start talking about his grandparents' health with him. I have no idea where to start, I'm still absorbing all of this myself. I figure some picture books would be good. My daughter is only a little over 2 so most of this will be over her head, but I figure we'll include her too. But the books should be geared towards a 4.5 yo. He can read, so easy readers would be OK as well as picture books.

 

Suggestions?


SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

Some stuff I like: hbac.gifteapot2.GIFeat.gifnocirc.gifbftoddler.giffemalesling.GIFcrochetsmilie.gif read.gifcat.gif

Katielady is offline  
#2 of 7 Old 01-16-2011, 10:32 AM
 
readermaid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Maybe And What Comes After a Thousand by Anette Bley would work?  


Librarian, Blogger, Book Reviewer, Mama
readermaid is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 01-23-2011, 01:51 AM
 
Sol_y_Paz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: La Biblioteca
Posts: 1,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sorry about what you are going through with your parents.  

What type of cancer for your mom?  PM me if you would rather. 

There are quite a few kids books dealing with cancer.  Mostly it deals with a parent though.  


happy family!joy.gif we winner.jpgfemalesling.GIFnocirc.gif

Sol_y_Paz is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 01-24-2011, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
Katielady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 2,048
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


She has stage IV adenoid carcinoma that started in her uterus and has now metastasized to her lungs.

 

Maybe separate books are in order- a general one about coping when grandma is sick, and a more specific one about "what is cancer." I just want to have that one on hand to bust out if DS asks questions. I plan to tell him very basic information and wait for him to ask questions before I provide any details. But I just need a little guidance as to what to say at first...I mean, I know that when someone dies you're not supposed to tell kids they got sick and died because then they fear it will happen to them or you when you have a cold or something. But I'm not sure what to say for a serious illness.

 

Thanks, and if anyone has other suggestions I'm all ears.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sol_y_Paz View Post

Sorry about what you are going through with your parents.  

What type of cancer for your mom?  PM me if you would rather. 

There are quite a few kids books dealing with cancer.  Mostly it deals with a parent though.  




SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

Some stuff I like: hbac.gifteapot2.GIFeat.gifnocirc.gifbftoddler.giffemalesling.GIFcrochetsmilie.gif read.gifcat.gif

Katielady is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 01-26-2011, 06:29 PM
 
umsami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Capital City
Posts: 10,401
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

 

This book ("Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs") isn't cancer-specific, but it deals with an ill Great Grandmother (Nana Upstairs) who later dies... and then when Tommy is older, his Grandmother (Nana Downstairs) dies.  My 3 and 5 year olds both loved it--and it allowed us to talk about death and being sick and stuff.  We were able to take it out from our library.


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

umsami is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 02-01-2011, 01:29 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,784
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)

has ur son brought up death before?

 

do your parents live close by so you guys visit all the time? do your children see them regularly?

 

also each child is sooo different. there is no one rule that applies to them. so it is not necessary that every child thinks that just because someone died from sickness that its going to happen to them. 

 

if death has come up before then it will be a little easy for you. 

 

if you guys live closeby and he is close to his gparents then he will pick up by just watching. the best gift you can give him is to visit both gparents regularly and often. seeing gpa in hospital will be the best way to do it. 

 

talk about gpa first. tell him gpas heart is not working well. the doctors need to fix it. so he will be in hospital for a while and then recovering at home. and then visit him in the hospital. 

 

from the age of 4.5 to 5.5 my watched and took care of both her gpa and step gma slowly die at home. i was their primary caregiver living with them. she loved both of them dearly and took part in everything - from helping them, to holding their hand while they passed, to reading and singing to their body while the adults did the phone calls, washing and dressing them. it really had a big impact on her and definitely, definitely, definitely helped her with her grief. something which her dad didnt have to deal with till in his early 40s and he struggled with it. for two years afterwards she would cry at all different moments whenever anything reminded her of xfil or xmil. 

 

when i went to live with them i cant even remember what i told my dd. if i even had to speak to her. since she stayed in such close touch with them she could see them getting worse. we had already explored death in great depth. 

 

i never read her any books. like in your case dd had enough examples IRL.

 

and the key were her questions. i never found a book dealing with her kind of questions. and when i didnt know i expressed that myself. if i was ambivalent i told her that too. 

 

hug2.gifmama. that's quite a bit to be dealing with all at once. since your son is so perceptive i would say have the talk as soon as you can because he is picking up so much from you all. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 02-06-2011, 08:37 PM
 
yitlan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: NM
Posts: 1,993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We went through this last year.  Contact a local hospice organization for lots of resources, including books.  Ours was great and still stays in touch as we continue our mourning.


Zia+Lane+Sonora=Mi Vida Loca! :
yitlan is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off