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#61 of 93 Old 05-06-2011, 03:35 PM
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I can not even begin to describe how disenheartening it is to get on mothering.com, a community to unite and support women in their quest for a happy, healthy home, and see that they are all bickering over silly things like what to call your privates. Yoni, vagina, vulva, power bundle, blah blah blah. It is just a shame. If a responsible care provider needs more clarification as to what part of your crotch hurts, they're gonna figure it out, asking the same question I would at home "inside or outside babe?"  More power to us mamas who can talk openly, honestly, and candidly to our children about their bodies and their experiences with their bodies, without stressing them out with a vocab test.duck.gif


Yet most mamas on here agree that children should be taught what their private's names are. Why bother teaching "correct" terminology if it's not correct? Why not just teach boys that they have peckers/willies/pee-pees, and girls have coochies or hoo-has?

 

I thought there was a point to using the words penis and vagina.....???

 

Maybe it's silly to you, but it's not to me. When someone tells me that she has a rash on her vagina, it's confusing. When my son was very little, he used to get the word "nipple" mixed up with "pimple." I guess I shouldn't have bothered correcting him, because words don't matter. eyesroll.gif

 

And honestly, none of the kids I know who know the proper names for their body parts seem to be stressed out about it. YMMV.

 

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#62 of 93 Old 05-06-2011, 04:25 PM
 
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Yet most mamas on here agree that children should be taught what their private's names are. Why bother teaching "correct" terminology if it's not correct? Why not just teach boys that they have peckers/willies/pee-pees, and girls have coochies or hoo-has?

 

I thought there was a point to using the words penis and vagina.....???

 

Maybe it's silly to you, but it's not to me. When someone tells me that she has a rash on her vagina, it's confusing. When my son was very little, he used to get the word "nipple" mixed up with "pimple." I guess I shouldn't have bothered correcting him, because words don't matter. eyesroll.gif

 

And honestly, none of the kids I know who know the proper names for their body parts seem to be stressed out about it. YMMV.

 


I agree with teaching your children the proper terminology but one of the first posts on here was "The clitoris is NOT part of the vagina." And so it goes with every "What do YOU call it?" post on MDC. Bickering over who can be more anatomically correct. It's getting old, and fast. Who are these someone's telling you they have a rash on their vagina? lol.gif If it were my daughter, I'd lay her down and look and I'd quickly realize by visualization, where this rash was. "vagina" just gets you in the right ball park.

 

I, personally, am sticking with power bundle and if I tell someone I have a rash on it then...well, it'll just be fun watching them try to figure it out. 

 

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#63 of 93 Old 05-06-2011, 05:27 PM
 
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Who are these someone's telling you they have a rash on their vagina? lol.gif If it were my daughter, I'd lay her down and look and I'd quickly realize by visualization, where this rash was. "vagina" just gets you in the right ball park.

 

I, personally, am sticking with power bundle and if I tell someone I have a rash on it then...well, it'll just be fun watching them try to figure it out. 

 

ROTFLMAO.gifROTFLMAO.gifThe whole thing made me laugh, but especially the bolded. Just picturing it. LOL 
 

 

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#64 of 93 Old 05-06-2011, 07:49 PM
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I agree with teaching your children the proper terminology but one of the first posts on here was "The clitoris is NOT part of the vagina." And so it goes with every "What do YOU call it?" post on MDC. Bickering over who can be more anatomically correct. It's getting old, and fast. Who are these someone's telling you they have a rash on their vagina? lol.gif


 


Well, I worked in an OB/GYN office for several years. I've talked to lots of women.

 

It's not over who can be more anatomically correct. It's not a contest. It's just about language and clarity, which I happen to value. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.

 

As for the bickering, I don't understand why people keep returning to threads that annoy them so much. I suppose there might be other things to read on MDC, hmm?

 

 

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#65 of 93 Old 05-06-2011, 08:19 PM
 
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Well, I worked in an OB/GYN office for several years. I've talked to lots of women.

 

It's not over who can be more anatomically correct. It's not a contest. It's just about language and clarity, which I happen to value. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.

 

As for the bickering, I don't understand why people keep returning to threads that annoy them so much. I suppose there might be other things to read on MDC, hmm?

 

 


Ah yes, that old argument. I come back because i'm hungry! eat.gif Well, that and I want to find out all of the latest nicknames for my vagina, labia, clitoris and anus...which, mission totally accomplished in this case. Thank you to whoever mentioned power bundle...I would look but i'm on my mobile device.joy.gif

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#66 of 93 Old 05-07-2011, 03:29 PM
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Gluttons for punishment get no sympathy from me. :)

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#67 of 93 Old 05-07-2011, 08:07 PM
 
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Can't read all the threads, should be doing a million non-surfing tasks!

 

DD1 called this her "little willy" in the shower one day.  I said, very shocked "NO! That's your clitoris!" and she was like "hmm, looks like a teeny willy" and i said "nope, WAY better, boys have to pee and make babies and feel good with their willies but a clitoris is ONLY for feeling good" and she twiddled it a bit and said "yeah, better than a willy!" then promptly pee'd on my feet (a WHOLE other story!).  She still calls it a little willy or a baby penis sometimes though.  I just correct her and do a quick recap.

 

It seems stupid now, but i was more anxious that she understood the greatness of it than embarrassed to explain it at the time.


That's cute. smile.gif I see that both of your kids are girls, so maybe it wouldn't occur to you, but as the mother of a boy and a girl, I'd hesitate to tell one that their genitals are better than the other's, you know? Just thought I'd mention it -- hope you don't mind. 


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#68 of 93 Old 05-07-2011, 10:04 PM
 
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lol... yes!

 


Power bundle is awesome.

But yes we will say vulva. Vagina used incorrectly drives me crazy and weirdly it seems a bit dirtier. My own issues I am sure. Silly names are less annoying because at least they are merely cutesy rather than incorrect.

Here's to hoping dd has a healthier relationshipmto her body and sexuality than her mother.
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#69 of 93 Old 05-07-2011, 10:15 PM
 
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Tonight my barely three year old daughter fell down and she said "OW, my weenie!" This comes from having two older brothers (6 & 4) who think it's HILL-AIR-EOUS to say "Weenie" no matter how often they are corrected with the proper terminology. 


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#70 of 93 Old 05-27-2011, 06:16 PM
 
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Bickering over who can be more anatomically correct. It's getting old, and fast. Who are these someone's telling you they have a rash on their vagina? lol.gif If it were my daughter, I'd lay her down and look and I'd quickly realize by visualization, where this rash was. "vagina" just gets you in the right ball park.

 

 



Agreed. While, vagina is used incorrectly most of the time, in general conversation it doesn't really matter. If you really need to know EXACTLY where someone is talking about it's easy to ask a couple of questions to figure it out. I was taught the correct terms and will teach my daughter the same. But when I'm talking to most people I would say vagina because vulva confuses a lot of people.

 

A lot of "common usage" terms are incorrect. For example, it's not correct to say "a female dog", but that's what everyone says. Technically, a male and female canine are a dog and a bitch respectively. While I know the correct usage, I don't refer to my female canine as a bitch, I call her a female dog. But if I was talking to a dog breeder they would be confused if I said my dog had puppies, you know?

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#71 of 93 Old 05-27-2011, 09:26 PM
 
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This is a long thread, forgive me if I haven't read every post and if I repeat what someone else might have said.

 

"That knobby bit" in our house is her urethra, where she pees.  When she asked what a penis was for, I said "for peeing" and left it at that (she was 3 or so when this came up.)   

 

I, too, am curious about books on bodies for very young children.  

 

     We don't mince words at our house, but answer only what needs answering.  At the store she held up a plastic pig (Schleich brand, very anatomically correct), a boar with HUGE testicles.  She asked "is that his butt?" and I briefly considered my options, finally answering, "Those are his papa testicles".  Which is great and now my 6yo will unabashedly comment on various body parts on those toys (quite loudly, of course) and as I cringe and reassure myself I am doing the right thing.....

 

     


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#72 of 93 Old 05-28-2011, 12:43 AM
 
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That's cute. smile.gif I see that both of your kids are girls, so maybe it wouldn't occur to you, but as the mother of a boy and a girl, I'd hesitate to tell one that their genitals are better than the other's, you know? Just thought I'd mention it -- hope you don't mind. 


I do get what you mean, and i definitely don't mind you mentioning it, but i'm afraid i think clitorises ARE better than penises, and more amazing.  And i doubt that would change if i had a son.  If i did have a son and for some reason had him and a daughter in the shower together i wouldn't be running a genitalia contest or doing any kind of comparison, verbal or otherwise.  But in a world where the most disgusting swear word most people can think of is a word for the female genitals you bet i'm going to be telling my DD's how incredible that bit of equipment really is!

 

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#73 of 93 Old 05-28-2011, 11:03 AM
 
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Can't read all the threads, should be doing a million non-surfing tasks!

 

DD1 called this her "little willy" in the shower one day.  I said, very shocked "NO! That's your clitoris!" and she was like "hmm, looks like a teeny willy" and i said "nope, WAY better, boys have to pee and make babies and feel good with their willies but a clitoris is ONLY for feeling good" and she twiddled it a bit and said "yeah, better than a willy!" then promptly pee'd on my feet (a WHOLE other story!).  She still calls it a little willy or a baby penis sometimes though.  I just correct her and do a quick recap.

 

It seems stupid now, but i was more anxious that she understood the greatness of it than embarrassed to explain it at the time.


FYI - The clitoris is made of the same type of tissue that a penis is. With stimulation it gets bigger and firmer and many speculate can shoot fluid as well. Your daughter is actually VERY correct in nick naming it her "little willy" :)

 

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#74 of 93 Old 05-28-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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Guess I've been living in a cave or something, because IRL I have NEVER heard anyone refer to the non-vaginal parts of her outer female anatomy as her "vagina." At the very least, I would expect a woman to know the difference between her clitoris and vagina. I mean, geez. If I'm in bed with my DH and want him to touch my clitoris, I sure as heck don't ask him to touch my vagina... 

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FYI - The clitoris is made of the same type of tissue that a penis is. With stimulation it gets bigger and firmer and many speculate can shoot fluid as well. Your daughter is actually VERY correct in nick naming it her "little willy" :)

 

Actually FYI the reverse is true.  The clitoris develops into a penis in the womb in boys.  The penis is actually a big clitoris, not the other way around.
 

 

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A lot of "common usage" terms are incorrect. For example, it's not correct to say "a female dog", but that's what everyone says. Technically, a male and female canine are a dog and a bitch respectively. While I know the correct usage, I don't refer to my female canine as a bitch, I call her a female dog. But if I was talking to a dog breeder they would be confused if I said my dog had puppies, you know?

 


Honestly, if your dog breeder was confused, you should really find a new breeder. That's just ridiculous.

 

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At the store she held up a plastic pig (Schleich brand, very anatomically correct), a boar with HUGE testicles.  She asked "is that his butt?" and I briefly considered my options, finally answering, "Those are his papa testicles".  Which is great and now my 6yo will unabashedly comment on various body parts on those toys (quite loudly, of course) and as I cringe and reassure myself I am doing the right thing.....

 

     


We have a ton of these animals and my gosh, my kids are fascinated with their nipples and testicles. shy.gif

 


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Actually FYI the reverse is true.  The clitoris develops into a penis in the womb in boys.  The penis is actually a big clitoris, not the other way around.
 

 


eh I don't see the difference. clitoris tissue and penis tissue are the same. I see your point that they are both initially a clitoris - one stops there and another keeps going. But I don't see that it's wrong to say that It's equally true that penises are big clitorises and clitorises are little penises. Is there any clarification you can offer to help me understand why both can't be true?

 

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#79 of 93 Old 05-29-2011, 01:06 PM
 
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This is a long thread, forgive me if I haven't read every post and if I repeat what someone else might have said.

 

"That knobby bit" in our house is her urethra, where she pees.  When she asked what a penis was for, I said "for peeing" and left it at that (she was 3 or so when this came up.)   

 

I, too, am curious about books on bodies for very young children.  

 

     We don't mince words at our house, but answer only what needs answering.  At the store she held up a plastic pig (Schleich brand, very anatomically correct), a boar with HUGE testicles.  She asked "is that his butt?" and I briefly considered my options, finally answering, "Those are his papa testicles".  Which is great and now my 6yo will unabashedly comment on various body parts on those toys (quite loudly, of course) and as I cringe and reassure myself I am doing the right thing.....

 

     


Wait, are you saying you've taught your daughter that urine comes out of her clitoris?

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This is a long thread, forgive me if I haven't read every post and if I repeat what someone else might have said.

 

"That knobby bit" in our house is her urethra, where she pees.  When she asked what a penis was for, I said "for peeing" and left it at that (she was 3 or so when this came up.)   

 

I, too, am curious about books on bodies for very young children.  

 

     We don't mince words at our house, but answer only what needs answering.  At the store she held up a plastic pig (Schleich brand, very anatomically correct), a boar with HUGE testicles.  She asked "is that his butt?" and I briefly considered my options, finally answering, "Those are his papa testicles".  Which is great and now my 6yo will unabashedly comment on various body parts on those toys (quite loudly, of course) and as I cringe and reassure myself I am doing the right thing.....

 

     




Wait, are you saying you've taught your daughter that urine comes out of her clitoris?


Yeah, that's what I was wondering.  I mean, the urethra is completely separate from the clitoris, and not in the same location.

 

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#81 of 93 Old 05-29-2011, 03:42 PM
 
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@


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#82 of 93 Old 05-29-2011, 03:51 PM
 
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the urethra exits in the same relative spot on a girl's anatomy as it does on a boy's.  The "sticky outey thing" on the front part of her genitalia--vulva in our house--basically includes clitoris and urethra.  we have not yet taken mirror or diagram to point out the precise location of every part.  My DD's question was about peeing, not masturbation, and peeing is what concerns her every day.  When the time comes to pull out a diagram, I'm sure that we can break it all down into parts.  In our house that has not come up.  


Not really....here's an illustration of female genitalia that shows where the two are: http://catalog.nucleusinc.com/generateexhibit.php?ID=1909

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#83 of 93 Old 05-29-2011, 04:12 PM
 
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All the vulvas I've ever known include a bit more than the clitoris and urethra! It makes me really sad to think of little girls growing up thinking that their clitoris has anything to do with urination. 


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#84 of 93 Old 05-29-2011, 06:01 PM
 
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I didn't feel it was necessary to mention, but not including this confused some of you, and I see that, so here goes:

 

We use the term "vulva" in our house.  (I am not arguing with mamas who have other names.  We are comfortable using that term, that is why.)   My post was merely referring to the area in question "that stickey-outey thing" or "that knobby bit".  We have discussed labia and the vagina, esp. when learning why we wipe front to back.  The subject also comes up when we discuss my period (girls are 6 and 4, and I don't battle over bathroom privacy.)  In and out of the shower I am naked and comfortable and they have asked about pubic hair and body hair and breasts and nipples and I have responded frankly (have any mamas of little ones achieved shower privacy yet?)  

 

My own mother threw a box of tampons at me and stomped away red-faced.  

     My girls are not learning embarrassment or shame about their bodies, and I think ALL the mamas chiming in here have the same wish.  (I am most definitely mentioning "Power Bundle" to them when they are a bit older!)

 

All that said, I have not had the need to discuss more than the subject of pee.... masturbation, oddly enough, has not come up as a topic or question yet.  So I give them the word for that part of the front of the vulva as urethra.

 

Here's the poser.  Many mamas are comparing penis/ clitoris and the perceived consensus is that they are basically the same at a primal level, esp. before sex differentiates in the womb and is merely encoded in DNA.  The penis has a urethra.  The urethra in a penis is for peeing and ejaculating.  Therefore, the penis is for peeing.  What I am hearing now from some of you is that the clitoris is NOT for peeing, that the urethra is separate (haven't checked the diagram link.  Thanks, I will get to that.)

 

Therefore, it seems that it is NOT agreed by everyone that the clitoris is exactly analogous to a penis.

 

PHEW!  Guess what?  My girls don't know yet that is a thumb is not a finger but properly a "digit", nor that what they innocently call the "ankle" actually refers to a complex arrangement of many, many bones each with their own name.  We'll learn the names of all those one day, too, when the subject arises.

 


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#85 of 93 Old 05-29-2011, 07:06 PM
 
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Whoops.  Screwy computer.  Correct post above.  Post#81 was a piece of the post I was planning on, but somehow lost, couldn't find, and apparently got posted only in part even though i didn't click on "submit".  Posted above was a few minutes later, and after i assembled my thoughts while making dinner.


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#86 of 93 Old 05-30-2011, 04:18 AM
 
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eh I don't see the difference. clitoris tissue and penis tissue are the same. I see your point that they are both initially a clitoris - one stops there and another keeps going. But I don't see that it's wrong to say that It's equally true that penises are big clitorises and clitorises are little penises. Is there any clarification you can offer to help me understand why both can't be true?

 


Both CAN be true, for you.  In terms of biology the clitoris is what is there initially, originally.  It might or might not develop into a penis, depending on genetic sex and other factors (a genetically male baby whose body does not respond to male hormones, for example, will develop into a female with testes in the location where ovaries would be).  To me that's significant.  To you it might not be.  Likewise the fact that penises are for urination, reproduction and eliciting orgasm whereas a clitoris is only for eliciting orgasm is significant to me.  To you it might not be.  But i think it is, and i want my daughters to know that.

 

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Except that it's inaccurate. Do you refer to the limb which extends from shoulder to wrist your elbow? Same thing.

 

 


Except it is common usage. Language is malleable.

LOL as my husband just pointed out it is like referring to the lower part of someone's torso as their stomach, when actually the stomach is closer to the bottom of the ribcage. Stomach for the area around the bellybutton is common usage and should be respected as such. Same as vagina...to correct people is presumptuous.

It won't be common usage if we all teach our daughters and sons the correct word!

To me when some say vagina and they mean vulva... its like saying the whole thing is a hole. Your power bundle has different parts.... they all have names.

Not to mention the misunderstandings that can occur when a small girl child says vagina to mean vulva or labia.

I love Power bundle! DD hasn't even asked anything but I have used the correct terms. She's almost 6 so I guess I should start asking her if she has any questions.
We chant a mantra, Adi Shakti, to honor female power and power bundle just fits right in! smile.gif

Deb, Mom to Madeleine 8/2005 and Maia 11/2009 Nick: and Chris
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#88 of 93 Old 05-30-2011, 02:50 PM
 
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Perhaps there is more variation in anatomy than I thought? Because my urethra is very definitely not part of the "sticky-outy bit" at the front of the vulva. It's in the middle, about halfway between the clitoris and the vagina, and feels like a spongy area.
 

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Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

... oddly enough, has not come up as a topic or question yet.  So I give them the word for that part of the front of the vulva as urethra.



 


Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
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#89 of 93 Old 05-30-2011, 04:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laggie View Post

Perhaps there is more variation in anatomy than I thought? Because my urethra is very definitely not part of the "sticky-outy bit" at the front of the vulva. It's in the middle, about halfway between the clitoris and the vagina, and feels like a spongy area.
 



 


There is some variation in the way women are shaped. I used to work in an infant daycare room when I was just 19, I had no clue that women could have dangly bits... my labia is tight, tight to my body. Nothing sticks out on me at all.
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#90 of 93 Old 05-30-2011, 07:39 PM
 
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I would lastly like to add that what we call a "little girl vulva" is different in size than a "mama vulva" (how we differentiate between mine with pubic hair and their's not).  Quite a bit different!  And their experience of how close things are in relation to what is quite different.  Locations and sizes and placement feels different with fingers than what you see in the mirror when you look.  

     Honestly, the last time I looked in the mirror was post-partum checking on some hot-feeling stitches.  AAAAH!  The mirror was shining light UP my vagina and I have honestly been scared to look again!  So I judge my own anatomy by touch, and what I wrote reflects my experience.  I'm sure sometime soon it will be time to pull out a diagram (one not drawn by me, and that indeed includes the clitoris).  And we'll all learn a thing or two, we three girls.

 

     And what about that book for the younger set?  Still looking for the right one...


Give me a few minutes while I caffeinate.
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