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#1 of 93 Old 04-27-2011, 02:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Help me mamas!  Any book recommendations for pre-school birds&bees?  Or an online anatomy diagram?

 

dd is 3.5, ds is 5.5. 

 

We are getting more and more questions about where babies/puppies come from and how they get there.

 

---

edited for unwittingly stepping in dog poo,

 

... or shall I say Canine Feces, in order to be more ANALLY CORRECT???

 

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#2 of 93 Old 04-27-2011, 02:52 PM
 
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The "It's Not the Stork" series is one my kids love. Both "It's Not The Stork" and "It's So Amazing!" would probably be appropriate for your girl's ages.


http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763600474
http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b
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#3 of 93 Old 04-27-2011, 05:20 PM
 
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My four year old DD is obsessed right now with learning the names of all her parts, and asks a thousand questions about their functions, and now she wants to learn about DS's, too. A book would be a great thing. The other day I was tangled in a discussion of what the proper name was for this one specific section of her groin, just outside the outer labia. She INSISTED it had to have its own name, I was pretty sure it didn't have a special name-- not that ONE LITTLE SPOT-- and she was furious with me. An outside authority would be helpful. eyesroll.gif

With the clitoris? With my DDs, they asked what it was for, and I told them the truth-- it feels good to touch it. They touched it, experimentally, agreed with me that it was true, and then went on their way.

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#4 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 07:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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With the clitoris? With my DDs, they asked what it was for, and I told them the truth-- it feels good to touch it. They touched it, experimentally, agreed with me that it was true, and then went on their way.



You are braver than me, mama!  I couldn't think of a way to say it so matter-of-factly like you did!

 

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#5 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 11:12 AM
 
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The clitoris is NOT part of the vagina.  I know that my DD14 and her friends use "vagina" to refer to any part of a woman between the naval and the knees, but if you are going to use "correct" terms they may as well be used correctly.

 

 

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#6 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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Well, I just thought I would throw out there what a great job you are doing. Telling your children what thier "private" parts are when they ask and telling them honestly and respectfully is the first way to estibalishing a good base for having a conversation about sex and her body that will last for the rest of her life. There really should not just be one "talk" to our kids about sex, they should feel just as comfortable at 14 talking about thier privates with us as they do at this age!

And yes while the vagina is just a really just a name of part of our private area, it really is the most common way that most women refer to the area between thier legs.

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#7 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 12:51 PM
 
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Your honesty is perfect! I haven't had to cross these question bridges with my 15 month old yet, but DH and I have already covered the "what do you call it?" bases and agree that cutesy names don't really have a place in our house. Simple and clear. Love it!

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#8 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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I read this before and didn't take the time to point out what our new (Welcome to MDC) member Louise pointed out.   I think correctly identifying anatomy is important.  Perhaps you didn't know yourself that the clitoris is an organ separate from the vagina, but it's good to be ready when the questions come.  I have a 9 yo and, while most of our conversations were casual, there have been a couple of times I've had to say things like, "Hey, I'm not sure exactly about XYZ" or "There are a lot of reasons women ABC, let's find out why together".  A good book for you to take your cues from might be "The Care and Keeping of You".

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#9 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 04:24 PM
 
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Ah, yes, it is a strangely little-known fact that the outer female genitalia is called the vulva. The vagina is the inside part.

 

(The clitoris is considered part of the vulva, right? upsidedown.gif)

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#10 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 04:33 PM
 
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Ah, yes, it is a strangely little-known fact that the outer female genitalia is called the vulva. The vagina is the inside part.

 

(The clitoris is considered part of the vulva, right? upsidedown.gif)


Its not little known. I use the correct terminology with my kids. I don't know how this fad of calling everything a vagina down there got started. No one sees your vagina except your lover or midwife. The part you may glimpse or see while changing or bathing is the vulva or labia. And yes, the happy button of clitoris is on the vulva... not inside the vagina.
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#11 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 06:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post

Ah, yes, it is a strangely little-known fact that the outer female genitalia is called the vulva. The vagina is the inside part.

 

(The clitoris is considered part of the vulva, right? upsidedown.gif)




Its not little known. I use the correct terminology with my kids. I don't know how this fad of calling everything a vagina down there got started. No one sees your vagina except your lover or midwife. The part you may glimpse or see while changing or bathing is the vulva or labia. And yes, the happy button of clitoris is on the vulva... not inside the vagina.


I use the correct terminology with my dd also, but it does seem to be little known around here.  My mother had no idea until she had me and I have had friends who have had no idea despite having children.  Our daycare actually has a policy about calling the vulva the vagina and when I pointed out that this is not technically accurate my supervisor said she had never heard that before (she is in her forties and we have many doctor's and nurse's children in our center).  It was very surprising to me the first time I found out someone hadn't even heard the word vulva despite being an adult with a child.

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#12 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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Oh good lord are we all going to have this discussion again? People have called their girlie parts vaginas for a very long time. It is not some newfangled trend. It is not that big of a deal except for the fact that some of you find it annoying. Honestly, who made y'all the coochie police?

I call it a vagina and will continue to do so until the day I die thankyouverymuch. I'm ok with that. orngbiggrin.gif
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#13 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 07:01 PM
 
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Another one who says "vagina." I was raised calling it that nad it's what seems normal to me even though I know it's not technically accurate. But unlike how I was raised I have open discussions with ds about babies and body parts. it's only a big deal if you make it one and I hope when dd gets old enough to gt her period she will feel comfortable telling me and won't hide it and get supplies from the school nurse for months, like I did. It's not so much what you call it, as long as you can talk about it!

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#14 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 07:45 PM
 
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Oh good lord are we all going to have this discussion again? People have called their girlie parts vaginas for a very long time. It is not some newfangled trend. It is not that big of a deal except for the fact that some of you find it annoying. Honestly, who made y'all the coochie police?

I call it a vagina and will continue to do so until the day I die thankyouverymuch. I'm ok with that. orngbiggrin.gif


I don't think discussing something makes it an issue that anyone is policing.  I am guessing you feel a lot of pressure from other people to conform since you read so much animosity into comments made online where nobody has made a judgment about what term you are supposed to use.  I find the discussion interesting but that is probably because I can't remember the last time it was brought up so I am not burnt out on the subject. 

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#15 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:08 PM
 
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I also grew up calling it a vagina. I don't even know if the school nurse used the word vulva, but I'm sure she must have. I'm just so sick of the vagina vs vulva argument. I remember a post where someone said something about "wiping your vagina" and another person said "eww gross you don't wipe your vagina, you wipe your vulva." I know they are different parts, but they are so close that it's ok to call the whole thing a vagina if you want to and not get pissy when some call it that while you use the term vulva.
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#16 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:09 PM
 
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 It is not that big of a deal 


Except that it's inaccurate. Do you refer to the limb which extends from shoulder to wrist your elbow? Same thing.

 

 

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#17 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:14 PM
 
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Except that it's inaccurate. Do you refer to the limb which extends from shoulder to wrist your elbow? Same thing.

 

 


Except it is common usage. Language is malleable.

LOL as my husband just pointed out it is like referring to the lower part of someone's torso as their stomach, when actually the stomach is closer to the bottom of the ribcage. Stomach for the area around the bellybutton is common usage and should be respected as such. Same as vagina...to correct people is presumptuous.
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#18 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:32 PM
 
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Except that it's inaccurate. Do you refer to the limb which extends from shoulder to wrist your elbow? Same thing.

 

 


Except it is common usage. Language is malleable.

LOL as my husband just pointed out it is like referring to the lower part of someone's torso as their stomach, when actually the stomach is closer to the bottom of the ribcage. Stomach for the area around the bellybutton is common usage and should be respected as such. Same as vagina...to correct people is presumptuous.

It won't be common usage if we all teach our daughters and sons the correct word!

To me when some say vagina and they mean vulva... its like saying the whole thing is a hole. Your power bundle has different parts.... they all have names.

Not to mention the misunderstandings that can occur when a small girl child says vagina to mean vulva or labia.
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#19 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:35 PM
 
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You know I think I'm just going to call mine my "power bundle" from now on wink1.gif
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#20 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:41 PM
 
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You know I think I'm just going to call mine my "power bundle" from now on wink1.gif

I read that somewhere in a book about empowering girls. Do you like it?innocent.gif
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#21 of 93 Old 04-28-2011, 08:57 PM
 
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You know I think I'm just going to call mine my "power bundle" from now on wink1.gif

I read that somewhere in a book about empowering girls. Do you like it?innocent.gif

I've never heard of the book before, so I don't know if I like it, but I sure do like my power bundle wink1.gif
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#22 of 93 Old 04-29-2011, 06:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anybody have book recomendations or preschool-friendly online PowerBundle/vagina/vulva/labia/clit diagrams?

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#23 of 93 Old 04-29-2011, 09:57 AM
 
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Does anybody have book recomendations or preschool-friendly online PowerBundle/vagina/vulva/labia/clit diagrams?


i don't think that exists (something that detailed, meant for preschoolers) - just a guess.  my recommendation is to get a diagram for yourself to make sure you know, and then if dd wants to know, she doesn't need a visual aid - just a mirror and the correct answer from her mom.  she asked a one-time question, "what is this?" and it seems like overkill to go from there into the need for a book about it.  is she truly not satisfied with your answer?  what more does she really need to know?

 

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#24 of 93 Old 04-29-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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First, I think you did a great job answering your daughter's question by telling her it's her clitoris! My 3 year old knows where her clitoris is, too (because she asked).

I use vulva but I agree that vagina is common usage, easily understood, and MUCH better than all the "fake" words that are still so common!

I just did a quick Amazon search for the word "sex", then narrowed it down to Books, then Children's Books, then 0-3. I came up with a bunch of things that look like they might fit the bill, including:

http://www.amazon.com/Who-Where-Come-Pop-Up-Book/dp/0307106187/

http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586/

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Big-Secret-Talking-about/dp/0316101834/

http://www.amazon.com/Bare-Naked-Book-Annick-Toddler/dp/0920303536/

and lots more. You could also try doing a search of the next age group up. (I find that many of the books are mis-categorized re: age.) I haven't read or looked at any of these, so I have no idea if they're any good, but they all have reviews that seem helpful.

Good luck!
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#25 of 93 Old 04-29-2011, 05:37 PM
 
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P.S. I do think it's important to tell girls specifically that "what the clitoris does" is feel good to touch it. And then leave it at that. Many girls never figure this out until way too late -- long after they're sexually active, and often having bad sex for bad reasons, in part because they don't realize that their own bodies can and should experience sexual pleasure. (I work in this field and talk with young women about this all the time.)

I'm not saying that anyone's preschooler should be having sex. But the same way we teach the purpose of other body parts, if a girl asks what it's for, I do think the clitoris has an important purpose, and there's huge value in girls knowing this without it needing to be a big deal or an involved conversation.
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#26 of 93 Old 04-30-2011, 05:35 AM
 
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I remember when I was last pregnant, and my 5 and 6 year old daughters told my aunt the baby was going to come out of my vagina. My aunt was like "Where did they learn that word!?" I said, "They have one!?" And oh you should have heard her when one of my kids said something about a penis!! Like they are bad words to say!

 

I actually do NOT call my abdomen my stomach, ever. My stomach is an organ inside me, and I have been a very literal person since early childhood. I am ok with calling it a belly but I even taught my kids it's not your stomach. (and to say there's a baby in your stomach? really pisses me off LOL)

 

I always used funny names for body parts after the kids learned the real names. I rarely call them toes now, they are piggies. My reasoning is that I don't want my kids growing up and sounding ignorant because they don't know what something is called. I always wondered when my aunt goes to the doctor with a yeast infection or something, does she say, "Doc, my monkey smells funkey!" Or does she just call it, "Down there"?


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#27 of 93 Old 04-30-2011, 10:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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"Doc, my monkey smells funkey!"



 

LOL!!!ROTFLMAO.gif

 

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#28 of 93 Old 04-30-2011, 11:22 AM
 
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So...here is the thing...we have casual/common/non-medical/not-scientific words for most body parts and areas of the body but they evolved or came about before it was acceptable to talk about genitals or private parts or breasts. So we are stuck with the medical/scientific name or whatever goofy name we have come up with.  I just had brutal knee surgery. I refer to it as knee surgery and everyone understands what I am talking about. My surgeon lists "knees" as one of his specialties. BUT I don't think the word "knee" appears once in the surgery report. My surgery involved the femoral condyle, patella and medial petellorfemoral ligament. Vagina is the same type of word as femur, vulva is the same type of word as patella, clitoris is the same type of word as petellorfemoral ligament. There is nothing more medical or scientific about a knee than a "vagina" we just aren't required or expected to use the medical/scientific words to talk about it.

 

I was raised to say vulva etc. and my mom gets really annoyed that I don't use the "right" words. I think some of us intuitively don't want to use vulva because it sounds scientific and medical. I do not walk around telling people that I dislocate my patella. I tell them that I dislocate my knees and I don't have to worry about people thinking I am ignorant and uninformed because we have a "common" everyday word in our language to describe that body part. It has evolved in our language to use the word "vagina" to describe the whole genital area. I would prefer an even different word, but we don't have another common word in our cultrue. I also don't think someone needs to know the anatomical name of every part of the body, I wouldn't think someone was ignorant if they didn't know what part of the female anatomy was a vulva any more than I would think it ignorant that someone calls the sticky-outie part of a knee a knee-cap and not a patella... It's a deficiency in our language. I feel snooty and clinical telling people that I dislocate my patella when knee cap works just fine and everyone knows what it is. I feel snooty and clinical calling my vulva a vulva. eyesroll.gif The "but it's correct" or "it's accurate" admonition doesn't work for me for the reasons I've tried to explain...

 

Furthermore, we don't need to know the anatomical names of body parts in order for them to work properly. That isn't true for knees, why the heck would that be true for genitals? I don't think we should be prudish or shameful about sex or genitals, but I am not very comfortable with being so clinical either, I really wish there was a better option...

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#29 of 93 Old 05-01-2011, 02:19 PM
 
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My parents had a great movie that they showed me at an early age. Its called "where do I come from." Very informative, entertaining, and very easy to discuss after viewing. You could probably find it on ebay, I think it was made in the 80's

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#30 of 93 Old 05-01-2011, 02:25 PM
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With the stomach/abdomen comparison....I don't think that's quite right.

 

Saying vagina when you mean vulva is like saying penis when you mean scrotum.

 

I don't really see how "vulva" is any more clinical than "vagina." They're both clinical terms. Might as well teach them right....especially when the little girl asked about her "coochie" to begin with. If she's going to call the entire thing a coochie, then she should know that the vagina is the inside part.

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