I am yearning to find some inspiring books to support me in my communication with my 8 yo dd. I think it would help if I found a child development book that demonstrates what is going on with and 8 year old. I think I expect too much of her right now.
How about "Your 8-Year Old"? from the gesell institute. i have read these for my girls, 3 and 5, and while I do not agree with some of the parenting advice, these books are usually pretty accurate descriptions of the developmental stages. You can get them super cheap on half.com and the like, maybe consider picking up your "7" and "9" year old too since some kids hit the stages earlier or later.
This might serve you well along with some another book that focuses on parenting.
mama to : my spirited star 2/06, my sweet love 5/08, my little lovey 5/12, and a zinnia 3/15