Library Book Circles - keep the Really Bad Books out of circulation - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to share with mamas here at MDC a little tactic four friends and I have come up with to make sure vulnerable mamas don't get their hands on bad books that recommend terrible things.

In my opinion, people turn to parenting books when they are facing a crisis, and they will latch on to any "expert" who promises a solution to problem XYZ, no matter how terrible that solution actually is.

So me, and four very close friends met at the library one day, and we checked out pretty much the entire parenting section. Any book that advocated CIO, bottlefeeding purely for convenience, was totally against the family bed, suggested corporal punishment, we set aside.

We have set up a pretty straightforward system whereby between the four of us we keep these books checked out and off the shelves at all times. We take turns renewing, putting holds and collecting the books and keeping them circulating just amongst us.

Our library appears to only stock AP friendly books, like the No Cry Sleep Solution, The Family Bed, Three in a Bed, the Continuum Concept, The Baby Book, Birth Without Violence, and lots of other AP friendly titles.

It takes at least four or five people to keep the books out of circulation more or less permanently, but it can be done.
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#2 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:39 AM
 
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Sounds alot like censorship.
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#3 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:43 AM
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Wow.......


How ignorant is that...
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#4 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:45 AM
 
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Nice idea (looking passed the whole censorship and making an informed decision) What happens if they can't get it at the library? When some people can't find the book they end up buying it and keeping it.
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#5 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:46 AM
 
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Ummm, there are other sources/libraries. I don't believe in CIO either, but you're going about spreading the word all wrong. I edited this message after realizing that I didn't make the point I was trying to originally.
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#6 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:48 AM
 
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i agree with nym...sounds ignorant to me. you're pretty much trying to force your way of thinking and doing things upon others without their knowledge....sounds like our president....i'm not going there.
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#7 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:48 AM
 
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I don't think this is such a good idea.

I think the libraries keep track of what books are requested a lot and buy more copies of the popular ones- so what you'd be doing in the long term is getting more "detachment parenting" books onto the library shelves.

Besides, what will you do if another "circle" joins your library and keeps all the Sears books off the shelves?

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#8 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:49 AM
 
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available to hands but you have to watch for the slippery slope of censorship..kwim
I mean what if somone came in and starting doing the same with sears and dr gordon and pantley?
I am against banning books no matter how bad they are
could you maybe buy or ask the library to buy more of the ap style books so that they just outnumber the 'other side"
I mean ezzo is scary stuff and all my sil used to know ezzo babies when they came in the er
but when you start taking peoples right to choices away you risk the same happening to you

just a thought
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#9 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:50 AM
 
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I know you mean well but there hs to be a better way.
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#10 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:58 AM
 
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she may have meant well but sometimes you need to stop and think about thtese kinds of things before you just go do them. yes i agree that ppl are misinformed when they read and do what these books tell them to, but that's their choice!...i'm gonna stop now cuz with the way i'm feeling this will turn into a discussion about america and i don't want to go there.
D
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#11 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 02:52 AM
 
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What if someone wanted the books for an anti-CIO article?
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#12 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 04:38 AM
 
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Definately not such a good idea in my opinion. I have run into this same sort of thing when it comes to books about my religion (people who disagree with it check out the books and keep them out) and it's very frustrating. By doing this, though your intent was coming from a good place, you are imposing your choices on everyone else and that just isn't fair or respectful. I think you have to put yourself in the other person's shoes. What if something you really wanted to read about (for whatever reason) was deliberately kept from you? I'm not trying to be harsh or unkind, but it's really something you should think about.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#13 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 09:08 AM
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I have put warnings into Ezzo books.

I think anything so off the wall it's dangerous to children should have some sort of warning because there are nitwit parents out there that think anything in print is authoritative.

Debra Baker
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#14 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 10:43 AM
 
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Wow, I hope that you don't come to my library, because I really don't want anyone else deciding what I may or may not read. That choice should be mine alone.

Namaste!
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#15 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 11:00 AM
 
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I like the idea of putting cards in the books with information and other resources. People are most receptive to different ideas when they are presented in a non-threatening, respectful, way. I know there are websites offering free cards to put in such books but can't remember where I saw them...
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#16 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 11:05 AM
 
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I agree with nycapmom. If you get some business size cards you can put some info on them and stick them in those books and the ones at local bookstores. Censorship is censorship.

It was a creative idea, but one you need to think about more.
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#17 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 11:11 AM
 
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I really like the idea of placing a note with the librarian letting them know you views and requestiong more books to give parents a more balanced opinion.
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#18 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 12:12 PM
 
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I have sat here and thought about a better way to phrase my irritation with your method than "shame on you." I've thought and thought, and I can't come up with anything else.

YES, put notes in the books, gently suggesting what you disagree with and include your contact information so people can ask you questions. YES, start an AP support group at your library -- you have 5 moms who are willing to go out of their way for this already! YES, be an advocate for gentle parenting. YES, all of those things.

NO, do not be the weeder for your library. How angry would you be if vegetarians came in and checked out every cookbook with a meat recipe? How would you feel if communists came in and checked out all the books about democracy? How would it affect you if homophobes came in and checked out all the books that promote alternative family arrangements?

At this point, depending on how long you and your friends have been doing this, I would suggest that you put those notes in the books about why you think they're not the best approach, but that you start the note with: "I'm sorry if you've been looking for this book for a while; we were so upset by its methods that a group of us deliberately kept it out of circulation. This was short sighted and we apologize. Here are a few reasons we disagree with it. We'd love to talk with you about what YOU think...email us at happyattachedmoms@email.com and we can get together!"
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#19 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 12:18 PM
 
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There is one book on lesbian TTC/parenting at my library. There were two, and one was found torn apart in the bathroom trashcan - someone obviously thought it should not be accessible to "vulnerable" minds.

The other book someone has taken a pencil and written in the margins some other resources to compare against, and similar warnings. To help steer people toward making "better choices."

Someone explain ethcially why doing this to any kind of book is an OK thing to do.

ETA:
I think adding cards is wrong too! I would be STEAMED to find opposing viewpoint cards in a gay parenting book, for example.
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#20 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 12:19 PM
 
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i personally would leave contact info off the cards. that way the library or bookstore can't contact you. just give people something to think about.
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#21 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 12:40 PM
 
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Wow.. and I didn't think that was such a bad idea. Then again, I've always been told that I think somewhat outside the box. I can see, though, why the other posters thought it was wrong and that wouldn't have been my personal choice or method.

I'm also a bit upset that I see misinformation and books on the shelves at my library that are not good parenting (not just my opinion, but can be proven). It always gets me frustrated that Dare to Discipline by Dobson is still there. And yes, I have felt good about borrowing it once so it's not on the shelf. But I did read it. In fairness, I wanted to know what he advocated or said. Basically, I thought he was a bit short of demented, and really sorry that that book was on the shelves. No books on AP, a few on gentle discipline. I was glad to see Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline there.

But.. here's what I was thinking for a solution to this dumbing down of our new mothers. Buying our local library a subscription of Mothering and some books mentioned in our Gentle Discipline section and good attachment parenting books. This way we can still influence, but in a more positive way. Instead of all at once, I'm going to ask my husband to give the library a gift in my name for (each) Christmas.

Cheers,
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#22 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 12:48 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Kincaid
I think adding cards is wrong too! I would be STEAMED to find opposing viewpoint cards in a gay parenting book, for example.[/QUOTE]

yeah, i would too in that case. things that are racist, sexist or anti-gay would be upsetting. but that upsets me everywhere...

There are no bad books.
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#23 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 01:54 PM
 
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The difference is, in the case of Ezzo, his advice is extremely dangerous and puts the lives of babies at risk. We aren't talking about a difference in opinion or eating style (vegetarian, etc) but medical facts that all mothers deserve to know.

I vote for the cards...
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#24 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 02:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycapmom
The difference is, in the case of Ezzo, his advice is extremely dangerous and puts the lives of babies at risk. We aren't talking about a difference in opinion or eating style (vegetarian, etc) but medical facts that all mothers deserve to know.

I vote for the cards...
There are some herbal books on the shelves that could be called "dangerous" from a medical persepctive. Ditto for some natural therapies. Or what if someone with cancer picked up an natural therapy book and decided to follow it instead of a medicalized approach to cancer treatment - and they died. Should those books have warning cards?
Here is a good one... what about medical organizations who consider it a "proven fact" that not vaccinating is dangerous? What if they put warning cards inside issues of Mothering?

I guess to me it boils down to - who gets to decide what medical/childraising/lifestyle facts are valid and which are invalid? The FDA? A government appointed body? A group of concerned citizens?

I agree with your sentiments totally, and am not flaming you by any means! HUGS! Just that imagine what would happen to us if the powers that be decided to protect OUR vulnerability for us... or decided that we were in a weak position as new mommas and stepped in... these terms we are using in this thread are scary to me. I think we should be careful of patronizing attitudes toward other mommas out there Cause when the conservatives do it to us, it is oppression!
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#25 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycapmom
The difference is, in the case of Ezzo, his advice is extremely dangerous and puts the lives of babies at risk. We aren't talking about a difference in opinion or eating style (vegetarian, etc) but medical facts that all mothers deserve to know.

I vote for the cards...

That's how I feel about Ezzo, too. I don't just keep Ezzo books out of circulation, I destroy them. Rip them to shreds and drop the remnants in the recycling bins, usually located very conveniently right beside the photocopiers.
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#26 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 02:52 PM
 
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Ok Kincaid, you go me with the vax analogy

I'll think on this and come back when I have a moment...
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#27 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 03:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyRose
That's how I feel about Ezzo, too. I don't just keep Ezzo books out of circulation, I destroy them. Rip them to shreds and drop the remnants in the recycling bins, usually located very conveniently right beside the photocopiers.

Oh my goodness!

You destroy books? You think you have the right to destroy books because of what you believe?


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#28 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 03:05 PM
 
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Daisy,

If you throw the Ezzo books away while you're still inside the library, it isn't stealing. (Though I'm sure it is vandalism and other "bad" things)

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#29 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 04:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyRose
That's how I feel about Ezzo, too. I don't just keep Ezzo books out of circulation, I destroy them. Rip them to shreds and drop the remnants in the recycling bins, usually located very conveniently right beside the photocopiers.
Hmmm, what are you teaching your kids when you do this? "If I don't believe in it, it must be destroyed"? Not to mention the fact that those books DON'T BELONG TO YOU, so it's not up to you to decide what to do with them.

How about writing a well-researched and documented letter to your library board, explaining why you are opposed to those books? I don't agree with libraries censoring books, but if you were to express your opinion and your library were to find a way to address your concerns, that would be a heck of a lot better than DESTROYING things.

Namaste!
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#30 of 403 Old 02-24-2005, 04:46 PM
 
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I would try taking a positive approach and maybe put up a notice at the libarary for a positive parenting discussion group, request more positive parenting books, etc.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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