Mindful Parenting Book Club Part III - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 197 Old 12-12-2002, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Welcome to Part III of our book discussion on "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting" by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. This Sunday, December 15 we will be moving forward to Part IV of the book, "Mindfulness: A Way of Seeing." We plan to be discussing Part IV until mid-January or longer. There are ten Parts to the book which is almost 400 pages. Part IV begins on page 89. If you are not currently part of our discussion, you are welcome to join us. Some of us have read the book and some of us are reading it as we go. And some of us are re-reading it as we go. For your convenience here are some helpful links:
Powell's Books: http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/bibli...2-0786883146-5
Table of Contents: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...11#reader-link
MPBC Part I: http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=27992
MPBC Part II:http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=31136
Support for MF Mamas: http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=32560

Every so often we create a new thread to save loading time. Our last thread was almost nine full pages. Thanks for joining us at the new thread!
Curly Locks is offline  
#2 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 05:10 PM
 
Breathe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 1,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, my epiphanies are probably a dime a dozen, but I've got some more . . . went to yoga yesterday and they were just pouring in!

First, here are two quotes my teacher shared at the beginning of the class:

"If you try really really hard, nothing good or bad will ever happen to you."

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision that something else is more important than the fear." (from The Princess Bride, I believe) *I'm gonna use this one when I talk with expectant mothers about natural childbirth!

So he had me thinking about being brave, and throughout the class talked about opening our hearts and letting the thoughts drift away, so by the resting meditation at the end, I was fully primed! As I'm meditating, I see this image of myself -- almost in cartoon -- and it's me with this HUGE head, you can see the enormous brain inside it, and I'm being lead around my this head (this is not a good thing -- please don't think I'm an egomaniac!). And I thought, "I don't want to be lead by my head, I want to be lead by my HEART." So I held this new image of me with a big, beating, cartoon heart leaping out of my chest and leading me down a path. At this point, tears were streaming down my face bc I had such clarity: My whole adult life I have tried to THINK my way. I am a critical, judging, contemplative person (hence my entry into a PhD program) and this is NOT who I really am or who I want to be. I want to FEEL my way and let my heart be my guide -- as a mother, a wife, a daughter, and an individual.

It's kinda funny cuz my next thought was that I have a small little heart (bc I can be so critical and judgemental) but then I realized that in fact I have a big and VERY TENDER heart, which has been bruised, broken, and boarded up over time. All of this thinking I've been doing has been DEFENSIVE -- to protect me from feeling (aka hurting).

And viola! I knew that I must quit grad school immediately -- it was SO clear to me -- and that this will be a very brave thing for me, cause it means leaving the old "thinking me" behind (well, hopefully I'll still think some! ) and tearing down the boards that have been around my heart so I can live by it.

And what does this have to do with our book discussion, Eleanor?!?! :

Well, I realized that "MINDfulness" is a bit of a misnomer for me. I need to think of this concept as "heartfulness" bc that's really what they mean, and I'm such a simpleton, I was misinterpreting the word! It's scary as hell to me, but when I live by heart, my heart opens more and it becomes easier to do so. (kinda like the Grinch, huh?!) And I guess without knowing it, I've been trying to THINK my way into mindful parenting.

So that was pretty big for me, and while I know my confidence in this decision will wax and wane (and my big 'ole head will struggle to regain control!), I think as long as I keep meditating, maybe I can hold on to this clarity.

Okay, so if you wanna send me a bill for the therapy session, send it to:

Mama El, formerly the BigHeaded Mother
101 Strugglingtofindher Way
In The Clouds, NC xoxoxo

Breathe is offline  
#3 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 07:10 PM
 
mamakarata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sonoma County, California
Posts: 346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
what a great visualization! it is so important for us to be able to laugh at ourselves while we learn.

i have a dream book that can be used for both dreams and images that appear during meditation, and it says for the word head:

"you are intellectualizing too much. used humorously means- get out of your head!"

but you sure didn't need a book to come to that conclusion! good work el!

did you have a dream of a party or celebration that night?
mamakarata is offline  
#4 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 07:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey, El~ I just checked in...been out most of the day with ds. It's so great to have these wonderful posts (Epiphanies) of yours to look forward to. I like your word for mindfulness. Maybe it will come in handy for me. Some days I feel clarity in my thinking and then other days it's so fuzzy. Maybe thinking is where I'm getting into trouble as well. When I start thinking I, too, start getting defensive thoughts and get angry. If I would think and talk with my heart first then others like dh and ds won't in turn get defensive which is a vicious cycle of blaming and defensiveness.

I'm really looking forward to processing Part IV "Mindfulness: A Way of Seeing" over the next month or long. There's so much to be gained from cultivating our daily meditation through whatever door we get to meditation. My door is yoga whether it be with a video or just doing some of my favorite poses....downward dog, child's play, cobra, forward bend, and many others. I also like some of the floor lying meditation positions. I'm uncomfortable with just sitting up Indian style.

Mamakarata mentioned that she does her meditation while nursing and I find that so creative of her. When ds was six months and younger and nursing for much longer periods, I would get very relaxed. Now that he's older I and I am much more on the go I find it hard to relax unless it is the bed-time nursing. I'm anxious to see what other creative doors to meditation are out there.

Thanks again El for sharing your Ephipanies and I'm glad you are well today! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!
Curly Locks is offline  
#5 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 08:05 PM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh my gosh, where to start...

I've decided I'm a mindful mama wannabe. Only, saying I'm a wannabe is even generous. I'm so not good at this. If I were really a wannabe wouldn't I try a little harder than I'm trying?

It's been a really hard day. Meg and I were only asleep seven hours (not counting the usual wakeups) before the movers came today to pack. Now we are living among many boxes for the weekend, with no dishes, few clothes, coupla towels, no cooking things...and we have so many things to get rid of - trash or donate - this weekend. And so many things to clean. And DH just workingworkingworking.

This is relevant b/c maybe it's not the best time for me to be mindful. And maybe I'm a perfectionist and will never feel like I'm doing well enough.

By the way, are any of y'all NOT perfectionists?

I need to get into yoga. I'm such a beginner that I tried Rodney Yee's beginner morning and evening tapes and I found them too advanced.

I took Meg to her one-year checkup and let her get the varicella vaccine despite a lot of hesitation on my part...and I'm wondering if I let her down.

AND...my EB book got packed and I have no idea where. Along with my house and car keys.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#6 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 09:24 PM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Megsmom. I don't know who I would be without being a perfectionist. It is not good though. I think you are being a little hard on yourself. You are really going through a lot, with moving and everything. I think it is on the top ten list of stressors and let me tell you, we moved in June and I didn't turn my computer on for several weeks. Plus I am still not unpacked (can I throw it out since I don't seem to need it? How very buddist that would be!) And some stuff I am still looking for. Plus, don't forget that you only see a part of us and I am very guilty of letting my imaginiation build up people I don't know into the perfect mothers. I thought my infant massage teacher was a perfect mother. I never even saw her with her baby/toddler but she just seemed perfect.:
So, here is a big hug from me

And El, someone told me once that if a decision is really hard to make, than either decision would probably be fine. Plus, nothing is permanent. One day DS will be grown and yo can go back to school. My mom went to grad school when I was 12. I knew women in grad school who had grown/older kids. Think of it as a sabbatical.

I am not so good at meditating or even doing yoga. I decided though that I need to lower my expectations. Three deep mindful breaths now and then is good enough. Ten minutes of yoga is fine. a couple of poses with or without dd and whether I have eaten recently or not. (Check the yoga journal website for ideas megsmom)

OK everyone, have a fabulous weekend.
nuggetsmom is offline  
#7 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 09:30 PM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the hug, nuggetsmom, much needed. And for the website, going there next while Meg is still asleep.

I do need to remember that moving is a huge stress. I always think, well yeah, it's stressful for most people, but I'm not most people. And you know whose voice that is? MY DAD'S! Bad, bad Dad.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#8 of 197 Old 12-13-2002, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Analisa~Thanks for letting us help you get thru such a stressful time. I'm a perfectionist wannabe and hate it and sometimes a mindful mama, but getting better every day. I'm no expert about vax's and I just asked the midwife we see if they have thimersol in the vax's and she answered "no Thimersol" before I even finished half my sentence, like she was very positive. She used to be a LLL and nursed her kids for years. I just trust her. But after El's post on the support thread about some old shots still being in the system it made me wonder. Analisa, you're such a sweety! I hope the move hurrys up for you! I know it just sucks and the 400 s.f. housing in Dallas...at least it will be spring soon in Texas and you can go outside. ild (hope ya laughed at me sticking out my tongue) And ya got APconnect folks as a wonderful resource...I'm soooo jealous! BTW, Happy belated 1st birthday to Meg from the book club mamas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We hope it was a happy day.

BTW, I have that Rodney Yee tape set that has the AM and PM with the woman on the PM yoga tape. I don't remember if it was too advanced for me since it's been about three years since then but I love the AM tape better and use it all the time. I think the PM tape is not as relaxing and more advanced than Rodney's AM tape. HTH. Before you know it the AM tape will be a

Peace ! And fwiw (where's Tara???) I haven't even re-read Part IV. Bad perfectionist moderator!!! But I am working on it.
Curly Locks is offline  
#9 of 197 Old 12-14-2002, 01:21 PM
 
momcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: state of grace
Posts: 139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay, ds is napping, dh is showering, and I'm supposed to be paying bills, so I have to make this fast (just heard the water turn off!!).

Just wanted to send loving, supporting thoughts to you, El, in your decision - had a FABULOUS guided meditation of my own on Thurs eve - more on that later... but congratulations on the decision. It's absolutely the right one.

BTW, dh used to always laugh at me when I went through these bouts of insomnia - I'd "try so hard" to sleep! Of course, then it eluded me...

And lots of love and hugs to you, too, Megs Mom - hope the move goes well, and that dh figures out how to give you some help REALLY SOON! Wish all of us were closer (although I have a dear friend in Somerville - we've toyed with moving there, although the housing market in recent years scared us away) to help you out with the physical stuff. It will all be over soon, and you'll be able to play outside ALL WINTER! I'm so jealous.

Bye, all!
momcat is offline  
#10 of 197 Old 12-14-2002, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello! Dh is the shower and ds needs me but I just wanted to say I've been reading Part IV here and there lately (not today) and I found a really neat quote I want to type if I have time within the next few days. It's on page 93 ...second paragraph I think. I hope you read it if you get a chance.

It's supposed to be 52 and sunny all day here and 58 tomorrow! That's spring weather this time of year so we'll be out and about enjoying it! I got most of my cards done last night...finally! Just gotta get that tree up.

And Analisa, I hope dh finds time to help you, like Karen stated! Wish we could help.

On the same lines El was trying to express about the young boy that died in a fire in her area recently: Yesterday I was at a Christmas gathering with some old collegues at the pastor's house that married dh and I and found out that the president of the social service agency we all worked for passed away suddenly of a heartattack a few weeks back. He was only 55 and had a seven year old son and two other grown children and a wife that he left behind. That was my wake up call this year. That could happen to dh and I. I have no problem appreciating ds (for the most part). It's dh that I take for granted. He has been under a lot of work stress, working 50-60 hours, and then trying to get into another career field that is a very time consuming and tedious process.

Well dh is getting that I'm not off-line yet so I better get off and try to focus on "what is important here" this weekend. BTW, we did yoga as a family this morning. It started the day off right. Have a great weekend and many s to Analisa!! And Tara who we haven't heard from so she must be knee deep in toddler hell...hope not though. Here Tara
Curly Locks is offline  
#11 of 197 Old 12-14-2002, 04:02 PM
 
tara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: lost in space...
Posts: 2,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here, and only ankle deep in toddler hell, so there has been some improvement!!

I'm going to re-read the section so I have something to contribute!
tara is offline  
#12 of 197 Old 12-14-2002, 06:02 PM
 
Mamaste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: North Texas Natural Family
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nice to see everyone giving off such positive vibes!

Perfectionism ... I used to be the worst about it. Then I learned how to let go of certain areas. Now I'm backing up to even it all out across the board. Be mindful in the process of doing something and then once it's done, let it go. It's hard to do -- but oh, so good to move on and live in the moment rather than in tangles over what you should have done!

Mamaste is offline  
#13 of 197 Old 12-15-2002, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi! Yeah...Today we're officially on Part IV "Mindfulness: A Way of Seeing." I enjoyed our discussion of Part III and I am so pysched about Part IV. I'm loving what I am getting out of my re-read of Part IV. It's like watching a movie over and over. Every time I read it I realize or pick up on something I had forgotten or missed the first time.

I'm not sure what the best way to approach Part IV is. Do we want to divide it into parts to help give us some focus? There are 11 chapters and approx. 60 pages. If you would like to break it down, I would like to suggest that we discuss the first three chapters for the next two weeks. That is about 15 pages: Parenting is the Full Catastrophe, Live-in Zen Maters, and Eighteen Year Retreat. And maybe move ahead on Dec. 29. That will give us more clarity/foucs and not feel so pushed with all that is happening in our lives...the holidays, Analisa's move, illnesses, traveling, etc. Sound o.k.? :

There's so many quotes I want to type but it's all so yummy and fascinating that I don't know where to start. The first chapter of Part IV, "Parenting is the Full Catastrophe" has a sentence I just love every time I read it: "So why do it (become a parent)? Maybe Pete Seeger said it best: "We do it for the high wages...kisses." Here's kisses for the babes and a hug for all of you
Curly Locks is offline  
#14 of 197 Old 12-15-2002, 05:48 PM
 
Mamaste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: North Texas Natural Family
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH and I had a rousing debate last night over a subject quite close to JKZ's idea of mindful parenting as an 18-year (plus! ) retreat. We both read widely on integral theory and practice (Ken Wilber, Don Beck, etc.; please reference those sources for more info, as there is no way lil' ol' me could do it justice in a MDC post!). We find ourselves serious but diffident about moving on to the "yellow meme" or next stage -- we know we need to set aside serious meditation time in order to develop, but neither of us is ready to give up the commitments and pursuits that prevent us from having time to do so. We've examined our current busy-ness as an attachment we should/could simply let go of, but we've both come to believe that we are doing what we should be doing at this time in our lives and that our "evolution time" will come later down the road.

So. That leaves us in the here and now with a house full of children and attachment parenting values and very little time for formal meditation practices.

Enter mindful parenting!

(Baby waking, more later ...)
Mamaste is offline  
#15 of 197 Old 12-15-2002, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
BP~That sounded like a heavy debate! I'm not familar w/ the references (Ken Wilber/Don Beck). I think everyone could benefit from some serious meditation retreat or meditation time on a daily basis. But like the K-Z's say not many people have the time or money to take off for a week. I'm not sure if that is what you and your dh were debating about or just the daily meditation.

Also, meditation practices (and the definition of) are so different for each person. My meditation is doing yoga or pilates, and generally not the seated meditation. And I only do 15-25 minutes of yoga a day. That is all I can handle right now and all I am mentally ready for at this stage.

Curly Locks is offline  
#16 of 197 Old 12-17-2002, 01:59 PM
 
mamabutterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 1,778
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello again!

I did actual take some time to read from Pt IV yesterday... *and* even to take some comtemplative time (in a warm bath ahhh). All of which took up nap time, so no time to post!

On this subject, I often jst feel lazy. I'm also trying to wean off my suddenly serious TV addiction. Both avoiding meditation & not "finding time" for yoga, cooking healthfully, prayer, I think these behaviors are coming from a place of mild depresssion, or numbness about parts of my life and values which I am not living our right now. So I am hiding out in passive passtimes, keeping NPR or TV on to drown some things out. At certain points it's hard to dwell in the silence, to attend to what is in the mind.

Anyway, that's my experience. I do notice I can bring myself to the present well w/dd. I am getting a bit better at just diapering when i am diapering, just singing to her when i am singing to her...


speaking of which, she is about to fuss right now and i am ignoring her to type this, lol! 'scuse me...



peace, mb

teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
mamabutterfly is offline  
#17 of 197 Old 12-17-2002, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
MB~ Thanks for your candidness and here's a . I'm glad you had a chance to do some reading and meditating. What part of Pt. IV was your favorite? So far mine is the 18 Year Retreat.

Life has been strange for me lately too. I am much more aware of my feelings and yet frightened sometimes by my new awareness and not sure how to deal with some inner turmoil. I'm hopefull we'll all make it to the end of this book together. I feel there's a lot of inner growth going on inside of us all and it's worth some of the agony we are experiencing at times. It makes the highs higher and the lows seem not quite so bad. The holidays and darker weather are getting to me. The holidays are very strange for me. It brings up a lot of inner junk about my extended family dysfunction that I'd rather sweep under the rug...IYKNWIM.

Ds is asleep and has a third cold. He pooped on the floor while I was doing my yoga this morning (he gave me no warning) and was a little bit of a headache and funny all at the same time. But I am just learning to relax with this potty business and take it slow. He's only a year old. It's funny to watch him walk around so happy buck naked! He really hates diaper changes now...way more than he did before so I leave him half naked most of the day. I'm so crazzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyy!!!!

Is anyone feeling stressed about our reading and discussion pace??? I am! But mainly b/c of the holidays, my broken computer, and ds's nakedness and peeing next to the potty and not in it and getting his socks all wet...such a learning process.

Curly Locks is offline  
#18 of 197 Old 12-17-2002, 04:27 PM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
HI all, I have started rereading, but I think we have an ambitious pace with the holidays coming up. Since my family is coming, I doubt I will even turn my computer on at all. Of course I will have MDC withdrawel...
OK, whatever you guys decide is fine

Not feeling very mindful here in the storms, with a crazy DD sleep habit as of late (not so much nightwaking as not wanting to be picked up and yet crying) and having to come up with five minute toddler activities about 200 times a day.........


So I have no mindful thoughts or indeed any isights at all. I realize that I can't even remember what the book says or is about.
nuggetsmom is offline  
#19 of 197 Old 12-17-2002, 09:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi! My computer is about to make me crazy!!!! It is so slow and acting nuts!!!! For the sake of my sanity, and the rest of you that are feeling the holiday time crunch, I think we should take this week off and chat the weekend after Christmas to see how everyone is doing with their reading.

If anyone has anything they want to post about Part IV this week, please feel free. I'll be checking in and reading your posts. But I'm with Jacqueline...hard to focus on the book with all the happenings this coming week.

Happy holidays!!
Curly Locks is offline  
#20 of 197 Old 12-20-2002, 11:20 PM
 
mamakarata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sonoma County, California
Posts: 346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i have been 6 days in the dark from a power outage from the storms. just got my power back at 10:30p last night! so my vote is after the holidays too!

take care all!
mamakarata is offline  
#21 of 197 Old 12-21-2002, 01:59 AM
 
Breathe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 1,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
and I'm just too zonked to read.

must . . . get . . . sleep

when . . . will . . . teething . . . and . . . wretched . . . nightwaking . . . end?!?!
Breathe is offline  
#22 of 197 Old 12-25-2002, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just wanted to pop in to say I'm still here...and thinking of our little group on Christmas Eve. Also, dh has half of next week off so I hope we can play hooky for a another week or so. That way we can ring in the new year and have lots of time to reflect on 2002 and visualize our hopes for the new year ahead. May you all be happy and warm wherever you are. I look forward to continuing our discussion in the new year. You all are very important to me and have greatly impacted my spiritual journey and I am so grateful for you all!

Curly Locks is offline  
#23 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Welcome back to reality everyone!!!! I'm so glad I have you all to keep me sane!

Thank you Mamakarata and Breathe for your input about Part IV on the Support Thread. Your input is appreciated!

A few months ago we decided to discuss one chapter a week and that we would decide in January if that's working for everyone. Well it's now January and I'm looking for feedback about how you think things are going? I want honesty. We have a very long way to go at one chapter a week. But yet I'm not sure how else we can make this manageable any other way. Also, I'd like to propose a discussion calendar w/ a planned week off this spring and to get us through by June. I will make it as slow a pace as possible. Any thoughts?

I'd like to propose that this coming week we discuss Parening Is the Full Catastrophe and Live in Zen Master (pages 89-95). PIFC is only two pages so I think it would be o.k. to lump those two chapters together. If you all agree then I'll post my thoughts about those chapters on Sunday.


P.S. I'm really excited about Part IV and hearing how it relates to your lives. I'm so thankful for your friendship and for sharing your lives here.
Curly Locks is offline  
#24 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well skip the finish by June idea. At one or two chapters a week it would not be possible. Does anyone want to take the summer off and just keep our one chapter a week pace and take some weeks off this spring? I want to keep this fun and simple for us. I'm in no rush.

Curly Locks is offline  
#25 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 03:55 PM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the later parts are more "stories" and meditations, so I think we can take a different approach for instance reading a section per month and discussing the stories that eally meant something to you. I think though that different stories will speak to you at different days or weeks of your life so maybe the later parts are just part of an ongoing dialogue of mindfulness...

In fact, maybe we can find other stories like that that speak to us. Lets worry about it later and right now we can worry or rather think only about right now (that is, part iV)

Jacqueline
nuggetsmom is offline  
#26 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 07:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Jacqueline~Thanks for the reminder about staying in the moment! I'm great with taking it one week at a time. I agree there are a lot of stories in the second half. If anyone feels differently please let me know. We should have an "Open Door Policy" Just speak up if you have an idea or suggestion about anything or are unhappy about something. We can work through anything and figure this out as we go.

gotta go..be back on Sunday.
Curly Locks is offline  
#27 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 08:17 PM
 
mamabutterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 1,778
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Looking forward to reading and beginning the discussion again!

mb

teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
mamabutterfly is offline  
#28 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 10:19 PM
 
Devi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,678
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello,
Im new here and just got my copy of the book from half.com. I ordered the book previously and the person who I ordered from never responded (thus delaying my enlightenment process)...

Anyway, I am glad you are moving slow, as I need time to catch up. Hope its not to late to chime in. I will try not to post until I am caught up to you all.

Thanks,
Devi is offline  
#29 of 197 Old 01-03-2003, 10:23 PM
 
Breathe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 1,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gully, POST AWAY!!!! No pre-reqs here! And welcome!
Breathe is offline  
#30 of 197 Old 01-04-2003, 06:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here are a few of my favorite quotes from "Parenting Is the Full Catastrophe" on pages 89 and 90 (1st chapter of Part IV).
Quote:
Children give us the opportunity to share in the vibrancy of life itself in ways we would not touch were they not a part of our lives. Especially when children are young, our job as a parent is to be there for them and as best we can, nurture them and protect them so that they are free to experiece the innocence and genius of childhood, gently providing what guidance we can out of our own hearts and our own wisdom as they learn to find and define their own paths.
Quote:
We may find ourselves feeling connected to the hopefulness and the pain in others in ways that we might not have felt before. Our sphere of compassion tends to broaden.
Quote:
For our own on-going growth is an absolute necessity if we are to serve as effective parents of our children over the long haul, so that they may be sheltered and grow well in their own ways and in their own time.
I'm sure these quotes speak to us all in similar ways and we can relate to them in our experiences as mothers. Our discussion and MDC is a huge part of my on-going growth. And I can see El (Breathe) in the first quote thru her new thread for toddler activities. And all of you are the empitomy of compassion IMO. I have learned so much about compassion thru being a mother but I've also learned a lot about seeing things from other mother's point of views from reading your posts. My way works for me (most of the time) but it may not work for you. And learning to express that w/o offending is important to me.

Well dh needs me and I am zonked from a busy week. I hope you all are well. I am so excited to see what you all got out of this chapter.

P.S. Here are some interesting links that I thought may interest you~ Jon Kabat Zinn's book review on "Full Catastrope Living and the table of contents:
http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/bibli...6-0385303122-2 and the Table of Contents to "FCL": http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...16#reader-link
Table of Contents to "Wherever You Go": http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...12#reader-link
These books are very interconnected and overlapping to "EB" as I'm sure you will notice from the Table of Contents.
Curly Locks is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off