It's me -- the AWOL sister. I've been here and lurking, but not feeling like posting for a couple of reasons . . .
Much of the time I've been feeling like mamakarata -- Just really happy and centered and grounded, and not really seeing the need to read EB or come to MDC for support. (don't roll your eyes yet, keep reading!) We have pretty much killed our TV, I have done amazing amounts of decluttering in our home with relatively little pain, and dh and I have been back to our old best-friend status. I attribute practically ALL of this to the fact that after 3 months of HELL, ds cut 4 molars in 2 weeks and is finally sleeping again. And just a little sleep has turned my life around and I feel like a normal, happy, functional person.
I haven't even felt the need to go to yoga -- I've been that happy.
And then all of a sudden, WHAM! ds wakes up screaming every hour and it falls to pieces. Within moments (it feels like), I am depressed, it looks like a bomb went off in my house, I'm snippy with dh and feeling vey afraid of ds's toddler-ness. I've had several images of what's going on with me . . . one where I'm a balloon floating, actually being blown, all over the place with nothing connecting me to the ground. Another (from EB) where I'm the ocean and my surface is splintered into millions of little crashing waves, like what the water would look like if a helicopter were hovering over it.
So I try to be mindful (say to self:"Boy, I'm really feeling agitated today. I'm just really anxious right now. Let me BE with my anxiety/lonliness/overeating/exhaustion/fear, etc.") but it hasn't really helped me all that much.
And when I feel so out of control, I hate to come back and post like a downer. Besides the fact that there's really nothing new to say about how I'm approaching my life. Truth be told, when things are hard, they're just HARD for me.
But we had a fabulous night last night and I'm feeling easy again -- just living the roller coaster that is my life!
One good thing that has surfaced recently is my realization that I need to work on my spiritual self even when times are good and easy -- I need to cultivate my yoga PRACTICE (hint, hint, Eleanor!) so that it's there for me when I need it. So I'm working on that.
I'm sorry I can't speak about the book -- I suppose I will pick it up again one day soon -- but in the meantime, know that I'm here with you in spirit!
(Oh, and we're downgrading from cable access to a dial-up service, so it may be that the new slowness of my computer is the final straw in my surfing . . . we shall see!)
P.S. Jac -- the high school teaching sounds fabulous!!! Sounds like a calling to me!