"babywise"???? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-07-2006, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Fellow-MDC'ers,

I have a question about that book called "Babywise".
I have been looking for information about the techniques etc. and all I can find online are articles dis-proving it.( not to my suprise as I personally think of the techniques as absolutely ludicrous)
I belong to a BF support group and I would like to educate myself more on some of the things that come up at meetings.
I really don't want to purchase the book and support the author just to find out what its all about....so any comments/knowledge would be appreciated.

Thanks Ya'll
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Old 04-07-2006, 05:55 PM
 
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I bought a used copy of it just because I had to know what the devil's advocate stance is preaching, LOL. Pretty backwards stuff. I know it's been pretty much condemned by OB organization around the world, but I still run into moms who use it not knowing how harmful it can be. Ugh.

- krista

milk donation : mother to Ryan (6), AJ (5), Nate (2), Maia (1) all born at home, I have a kid-friendly food & bento blog, : :
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Old 04-07-2006, 06:02 PM
 
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It's just another book that promotes "training" your baby/child, rather than allowing your child to follow their own patterns, make their own routines, and be curious. It says something like by 6 mths a baby should only be feeding (BF or bottle) 4 times a day and none at night! And you should start putting baby in a playpen at 3-4 mths so they can learn to stay in it for 30 min at a time without having to be looked after. Insane stuff! BTW, my friend had a copy of the book and I looked through it till I nearly gagged.:
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Old 04-07-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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You local library might have a copy, sad but true

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all
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Old 04-07-2006, 06:47 PM
 
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Our library has it. The biggest problem I had with the book, rather than the feeding advice, was the "us against them" mentality Ezzo has.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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Old 04-07-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/frazzled.htm

here is a good site for you to browse around to understand what the babywise system can really lead to. Pretty scary IMO. Totally undermines following a baby's needs and cues.
HTH
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Old 04-07-2006, 06:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your thoughts Mammas....I will skip over to my local library and see if I can find a copy....to burn!!!!
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Old 04-07-2006, 07:34 PM
 
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Ezzo may be the spawn of Satan, but please don't burn a library book.
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Old 04-07-2006, 08:01 PM
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My DH wrote a review of this book for Amazon. He did not use any swear words and restrained himself as much as possible to write a balanced review. His review is titled, "An Outdated and Widely Discredited Parenting Style:" http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/097...Fencoding=UTF8

If you burn a library book, the library will just re-order it and Ezzo will get more royalties, so don't do it!!!!

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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Old 04-07-2006, 08:20 PM
 
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My library didn't have it, and I didn't want to spend ANY money on it (even buying a used copy). So my library was able to do an inter-library loan and they got a copy from a library out of state.

OT, sort of:
Please, consider doing whatever you feel comfortable doing (praying, lighting candles, or other ceremonies) to protect yourself mentally and spiritually before beginning to read this book. My LLL leader suggested that I do this, and I sort of scoffed at her, but I did it anyway (prayed and surrounded myself with a field of Love and Light), and I believe it did help.

It was almost like the book was poison, and by reading it, I was ingesting the poison (even though I would never apply those child-rearing "principles"). For the period of time while I was reading it, I tended to be short-tempered with my baby and annoyed by her wanting to nurse so often. When I was finished, I did a cleansing ceremony (visualizing that all the ick I had picked up from that book was leaving me), and felt much better.

Ann-Marita. I deleted my usual signature due to, oh, wait, if I say why, that might give too much away. 

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Old 04-08-2006, 02:13 AM
 
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Please, consider doing whatever you feel comfortable doing (praying, lighting candles, or other ceremonies) to protect yourself mentally and spiritually before beginning to read this book. My LLL leader suggested that I do this, and I sort of scoffed at her, but I did it anyway (prayed and surrounded myself with a field of Love and Light), and I believe it did help.
I'm sure I would have scoffed at her too but really...I totally know where she is coming from. We all have confidence in our knowledge and self control but I just browsed through my copy (gifted to my by my inlaws) looking for a particular passage to show someone how disturbing it was and it weighed in the back of my mind for the rest of the day. I almost found myself subonciously second guessing my parenting decisions. I just had to remind myself that this is a book written by a very very manipulative person and I liken it to brainwashing...I believe that was part of his agenda, seriously. The very first pages of the book are full of scare tactics. I don't think anyone can be 100% immune to them.

So yes...please be careful when reading this book. Very careful.

~Erin
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Old 04-08-2006, 11:59 AM
 
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I certainly can't argue with people's experiences while reading Babywise, and if prayers and incense work for you while reading it, so be it. But to me, that's giving this little tome way more power than it deserves.

I read most of it at Goodwill one day, and while I shook my head in disgust (and then hid it behind a bunch of cookbooks) it didn't have me second guessing my parenting choices and I certainly didn't feel brainwashed or manipulated. I just felt sorry for the children of parents who take it seriously.
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Old 04-08-2006, 12:18 PM
 
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Something to remember about those Mamas at your LLL meetings. Some of them have never heard of an alternative. Here's our story.

We did Babywise with our first baby. It was the ONLY parenting book anyone had given us, and they talked it up. They mentioned all the other people we knew who were doing it and loved it. We assumed that since it was a nice Christian family and the book by a Christian author, why question it? Their children were well behaved and seemed well-rested.

I did not know then that I should NEVER just take a book and use it because someone says I should. I didn't research the book, just did it. Of course, now we know why DD had major weight gain, eating, sleeping, issues, and still does. I am trying to demand feed DS now, but it is hard after over a year of BW drilled into my mind. It's almost like trying to break away from a cult! And when all those BW moms see me demand feeding, they just shake their heads in pity.

Now when I talk to expectant moms here who know the families that use BW, I ask them if they've read the book and what they think about it. I ask them if they know how the book was researched, and remind them that just because the author says it's correct doesn't mean it's is. They need to read what others say about the book. And read other books.

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

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Old 04-08-2006, 02:21 PM
 
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Moved to Books...

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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Old 04-08-2006, 05:18 PM
 
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My 20 month old helped me recently with shredding 3 copies we found at a charity. It was a big babywise shredding party!!
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Old 04-09-2006, 02:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubyred
My 20 month old helped me recently with shredding 3 copies we found at a charity. It was a big babywise shredding party!!
Excellent!!! I had the "preparation for parenting" books (Babywise but w/ "biblical base"--blech!) and those were in a 3-ring-binder. I had to trash them, so I took out all the pages before throwing them away! lol! A bit obsessive, but I don't want those to get into circulation.... I didn't even think if shredding--that would've been quite theraputic!!!

www.ezzo.info is the best site for anti-Ezzo info. REAL info based in REAL information. As opposed to the recent pro-Ezzo website effort www.EzzoTruth.com might be .org You can also check out their "home" site at www.gfi.org You can also go to www.gentlechristianmothers.com and they have an "Unprepared for parenting" forum where you can read lots of stories and info.

I agree about reading the book having an impact. It just sounds so "reasonable", it's easy to get sucked in, or at least for those words to be rolling around in your head when you're having a bad day..... I fight all my old Ezzo ways a lot. It's hard to have so many different "voices" in your head and remembering the TRUTH and not getting sucked in to the LIES again...

I wrote a review on overstock.com about it (everyone else gave it 5 stars....) Not sure if it got posted though...

Emily
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Old 04-09-2006, 12:31 PM
 
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I received a copy from a friend who thinks it's cute to let her 3 yo bully everyone (even her and her dh) and pick up their ds just long enough to take him from daycare to car, car to house, highchair to bed. I started to read it and immediately threw it away. She is a nice enough person, but I think she considers her children as accessories to the "perfect" life that she is trying to lead.

Great review on Amazon by your dh Fay. I think so many people buy into that babies HAVE to sleep through the night because they don't want to be inconvenienced by getting up themselves. My ds wakes every few hours to eat because he is so involved in play and life that he wont' stop to eat much during the day-I can't even try to get something in him! So, he eats at night. I think the only reason this book gets so many positive reviews is that they've "found the key" to getting their own sleep, and not that the babe is sleeping through the night.
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Old 04-09-2006, 05:07 PM
 
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I havent even gotten to the third chapter yet but ...I do like how in the first part it says that a healthy family is based off a healthy marriage (or partnership whatever your situation is what I belive) ...okay im off to read it further
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:32 PM
 
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I have not had a chance to read babywise( dont want to buy a copy obviously since it is supposed to be so awful ) my question is someone recently told me it is not that rigid and that the schedule is eat-play-sleep. Just wondering about that comment and how true it is??
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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i teach preschool, and way back when i was working in the infant room we would get babies who would be on babywise. it was AWFUL! we are required by state laws to feed and nap the babies as needed, and the parents of these babies would be LIVID because we fed their child who was screaming for food i actually had a mother pull her child from my room because i was not getting his "schedule" right. ugh!! sorry, had to let off some steam, lol.

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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We visited relatives with a (then) two month old "Babywise" baby earlier this year, soon after I had started reading this site when first thinking about TTC. They are in no way abusive parents- very loving and dedicated to their kids. That said, what I saw was distasteful and drove me to be more committed to many of the practices and beliefs of AP parenting.

Their baby was on a strict 3-hr schedule for being fed his bottles (of formula). If he was "fussy" (to me he seemed hungry) earlier than that, he would be held and comforted with a bit of water in his bottle.

My DH heard a lot on our drive home about how I plan to breastfeed, but I wished I had taken the time to deconstruct other things he may have picked up that weekend, like "yeah, 8 weeks is when they start sleeping through the night".

I love them, but they make many parenting choices that I would not. Being as I don't have kids yet, I do not feel comfortable bringing up any of these things in an informative discussion way. I hope I can lead by example when I do (Lord willing) have a child.

I have one wonderful husband and one wonderful little toddler boy!
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Old 07-01-2008, 03:00 AM
 
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See they are saying that on every page the book emphasizes flex and feeding your baby if they are hungry
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Old 07-01-2008, 10:34 AM
 
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Does babywise actually push CIO with newborns??? Like what does the book actually say on newborns and sleeping?? I wish I had the book but hate to buy it. I think I might hit the library so I can just read the book.
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Our library has it. The biggest problem I had with the book, rather than the feeding advice, was the "us against them" mentality Ezzo has.
That's my biggest issue too. Ezzo has an inflated sense of self.

Jen, Mom to DS (8) , DD (5) & Alli
(1-04) (8-09)
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