“Everyday Blessings” Part V ~ Book Discussion & Tea Party - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 250 Old 03-21-2003, 02:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
On Sunday we’ll be ready to move onto a new chapter, which is in Part V of the book. For the last six months we’ve been the “Mindful Parenting Book Club” in which we have been discussing a chapter each week from “Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting” by Myla and Jon Kabat Zinn,

I hope you like the new thread name which was inspired by our book club’s longevity and b/c somedays I have a hard time focusing on my personal everyday blessings for whatever reason…[I’m attempting not to give any energy to those reasons at the moment]. Therefore, as we continue our discussion here, I would like this to be a place where we can come and focus on the blessings in our daily lives whether those blessings are “good or bad” in our own minds. Sharing our experiences here as wannabe mindful mamas via “EB” has been a gift to us in many ways.

So lets put on a kettle on the stove as we get ready to move onto Part V of “Everyday Blessings” and may we continue to be a blessing to one another here, our children, spouses, which in turn is a huge blessing and gift to the world.

Part V ~ "A Way of Being"
"Pregnancy" pg 153
"Birth" pg 160
"Well-Being" pg 165
"Nourishment" pg 169
"Soul Food" pg 174
"Family Bed" pg 178

I’ll be back on Sunday to discuss the next chapter, “Pregnancy.” Have a great weekend. I’m sending you and the world every mindful vibe in my being.

CLINK (my mug hitting your mug, can, glass, or whatever you’re having )
Curly Locks is offline  
#2 of 250 Old 03-21-2003, 05:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
FirstTimeMom has a used copy of "EB" on the MDC Trading Post for $9, which includes shipping. Here's the link to the TP~http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=48837
Curly Locks is offline  
#3 of 250 Old 03-22-2003, 05:12 PM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Clink! and Hugs! Looking forward to part V and doing a "new thread" dance.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#4 of 250 Old 03-23-2003, 02:46 PM
 
mamakarata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sonoma County, California
Posts: 346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
busy but still here!

CL- i loved your "new moon" emoticon! LOL.

i fell behind (if that is possible at our pace) but will be back in the game again asap.

hope all is well everyone!
mamakarata is offline  
#5 of 250 Old 03-23-2003, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Part V: "Pregnancy"~page 153...We're going to forge ahead. Everytime I read this chapter I am amazed and shudder with wonder at the miracle our bodies perform. I dont know where to begin in discussing this chapter. I've been pondering it for weeks. Do I go back to my own birth? Do I go back to the days when I was afraid I would not make a good mother b/c of the way I was mothered or NOT mothered? And then I am reminded of how far I have come as person over the years. Being an AP mother has slowly healed many wounds.

I think I'd like to just meditate a little longer on all these wonders in my heart and mind. I'm feeling very grateful right now for the gift of motherhood. Although sometimes those gifts do get buried under overwhelming feelings from the everyday challenges we face.

What did you get out of this chapter? If you havent read it yet I hope you get a chance to. You dont need to feel obligated to post your thoughts, if you dont have time. Just embrace whatever blessings you get from reading it and know as a mothers we can all relate to the joys and sorrows that pregnancy brings.

O.k. here's one of the many, many, many quotes I underlined in this chapter that was sooo me and maybe you too:
Quote:
"Prior to getting pregnant, we may have been living our lives in a state pf constant doing, in a sort of hyper drive: fast, relatively unconscious, focused on doing more and more. Then all of the sudden may find ourselves in a slower, more receptive, "being" mode."
I notice that over the last two years since conception that I have slowly shifted from a girl to a woman...as a girl I was very focused on trying to gain approval from others by doing, doing, doing. As a woman I am very focused on my little family and being the best mother and person possible for myself and child.

Happy spring equinox!!! Gotta run...
Curly Locks is offline  
#6 of 250 Old 03-23-2003, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
...to say sorry for the long and rambling, non-sensical above post! I guess what I should have wrote was that being pregnant was the first time I was more consistantly learning how to be in tune with my mind, my body, my soul, as well as trying to understand the miracle growing inside of me. It was a huge, mindful learning experience. Everything I did was not about me or dh anymore. It was about doing what was best for in the belly. It was the beginning of the conscious of my mind's awakening...which I am finding is a never ending process. KWIM??? Or did I just post another ramble...:
Curly Locks is offline  
#7 of 250 Old 03-23-2003, 09:49 PM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi

Also really busy, but I am still here. I will read and give my thoughts later this week. I had an interestng reaction to being pregnant see.

Jacqueline
nuggetsmom is offline  
#8 of 250 Old 03-23-2003, 10:25 PM
 
Breathe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 1,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi All,

I enjoyed this chapter, too, but after all the reading I did while/about being pg, I thought it pretty much just skimmed the surface. Is it me, or are mkz's chapters a little less deep?

I agree w/CL that my pregnancy was when I first experienced trying to be mindful . . . it was such a, well, pregnant time for me . . . in the sense that I felt my soul and my heart and my chakras blossoming right along with my belly. And also like CL, I believe I truly became MYSELF when I got pg. It's like all the searching I had been doing in my post-college yrs had led me to THAT experience, and I loved every minute of it. In fact, grieved a good bit when I wasn't pg anymore -- kinda funny, huh?

I'll be interested to hear how you mamas experienced this time in your lives . . . My hippie friends seemed to feel similarly to me (special, magical, blessed, blooming) -- in fact, I MET most of them bc we were searching for other pg mamas who wanted to share the spiritual side of it -- but then I have a bunch of "mainstream" friends who almost to a T complain about being pg. They feel bad, want it to be over, "want their bodies back" (hah!), and so on.

So I have this theory (don't flame me, just being honest here) that maybe, sadly, these women will also have trouble surrendering to motherhood. I'm afraid that the resistance they feel now will just continue at each and every stage. I'm watching w/interest.

How about you guys? Did any of you really dread pregnancy? Any of you really sick? Would any of you say that your journey twd mindfulness began AFTER your baby was born? Please note that I'm not judging . . . I'm truly curious, bc if some of you wonderful, spiritual women had tough times in pg, you can help me to re-frame how I see my friends' experiences.

Please share.

(No more wine for me . . . had THREE glasses last night at a birthday party and I believe I was actually DRUNK! Not fun, not fun. Doogie was okay though -- didn't seem to feel the effects, thank goodness.)

I raise my ginger beer to you all!
Breathe is offline  
#9 of 250 Old 03-23-2003, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the thoughtful post, Breathe! Great wonderings...I'm curious to know what the others will say about their pg's too. I thought MKZ did o.k. with this chapter. I think she was trying to be as mindful as possible in the chapter...She touched on so many things and if she would have dug really DEEP it could have been a book in itself maybe?

I had terrible morning sickness...I couldnt eat or smell certain things w/o wanting to barf. But I had waited so long to be a mama that I totally wanted to surrender to my embroyo. But that doesnt mean I was able to completely surrender...I complained a little that I was tired and that no one could understand my mood swings and what I was going thru.

Dh was let go from his job in Texas when I was six months pg and we had just bought a house. He moved back to where we live now to try to get his old job back. Meanwhile I got our house sold and we were reunited when I was 8 months along and we drove away into the sunset....That was a huge obstacle and yet a wonderful bonding time for ds and I, while he was in the belly. It also made us realize that whatever we were doing with our lives, we needed to be much more mindful of the consequences...like moving, changing jobs...EVERYTHING was a lot of work pregnant and would be much more complicated with a child.

Pregnancy was just the beginning for me too! And I agree all that soul searching up until that point seemed did seem to pay off somehow, and I knew instantly that being a mom (even when pg) was that something that was missing. I think if I hadnt of surrendered, I would still be searching for whatever I was looking for.

CLINK CLINK CLINK
Curly Locks is offline  
#10 of 250 Old 03-24-2003, 07:25 PM
 
Mamaste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: North Texas Natural Family
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Random thoughts, quickly ~

Pregnancy and birth are obstetrical, medical events now. There is no sense of patience, growing, building, changing ... I think if fewer women made a medical problem out of it and were able to perceive it as a normal stage and family event, more women would be able to go with the flow instead of battle against it.

"Getting my body back" -- yes, yes, so common in this country ... Women perceive pregnancy and birth as a nuisance. I revel in my pregnancy, my birthing, my nursing, my mothering ... If you are so busy "getting through it" and pushing your family and children to become independent and doing too many things, you become so overscheduled that you have no inner life. There's no hope for a family that is so overscheduled in this way. They really can't develop an inner life -- no time.

So hmm, perhaps finding that inner life through parenting is relatively easy (moreso than people choosing to work on their inner lives at other points in their lives) because we have a ready-made view port inside ourselves. We see inside our bodies during pregnancy, we see inside love and trust and relationship-building as we raise our families ... The tools practically demand that we use them.

Frankly, it boggles my mind that parents can't see what's happening right before their eyes. The beautiful flower that's unfolding. I guess they are in too much of a hurry to get to the next event on the calendar. :
Mamaste is offline  
#11 of 250 Old 03-24-2003, 11:05 PM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I really struggle with the whole overscheduling thing. I'm happiest when I'm very busy. Which is probably not a good thing. But I'm working on it. (Really, I am!) Today we left the house just before 10 am and got home at 6:45 pm. We went to a playgroup then lunch then a scrapbook store then the doctor then the grocery store. Meg freaked in the car on the way from the SB store to the dr. and then was OK but I definitely pushed her too far. Was going to go to a toddler LLL mtg. tomorrow morning as we are having toddler nursing issues, but maybe it would be better for us both to stay home.

Here's an interesting article on stillness I got from another list I'm on (not an Oprah list!) http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/know...slide_01.jhtml

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#12 of 250 Old 03-24-2003, 11:44 PM
 
Mamaste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: North Texas Natural Family
Posts: 1,679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found the *way* I approach my busy-ness has a stronger effect on my psyche (and DD's) than the actual number of hours I'm gone or the number of places I go, Analisa. If we take our time and focus on the things we see -- loads of talking, yes, it's incredibly, *painstakingly* mindful -- then the trip becomes all about being together. I hate when I'm out and I realize I haven't been conversing with DD. What a lousy way to live, ignoring someone you love.

Anyway, if you love to stay busy, I don't see why that can't be a wonderful, bonding experience for you and DD as long as you do it mindfully .
Mamaste is offline  
#13 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 12:29 AM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lisa, that makes me feel so much better! Because that's exactly how it is! We talk, sing, and enjoy being together constantly! In fact, since I knew we'd be gone so much today I was making an extra effort to do just that. Wow, I so feel better. Thanks!

Just stressed out tonight b/c I'm having a bad rxn to a tetanus booster (severe muscle pain a week later - I sliced my finger with the kitchen knife last week and had to get five stitches). AND we have breast yeast and thrush. And my cholesterol is too high, despite having lost 35 pounds since August.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#14 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 03:05 AM
 
mamakarata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sonoma County, California
Posts: 346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my 1st pg at 21 yrs old was what i considered my "emotional life saver" in that i found a postive direction to focus my emotional turmoil toward. it fueled much of my passion to do things differently and think alternatively, and be totally accountable for my baby. it grew me up and down and all around. i have so much gratitude for my dd having gone through that journey with me.

then 11 years ltr i am pg with ds, and realize how much more i still needed to learn. and ds straightened me out quick when the pg became high risk (from his miscarried twin) and i was forced to bed rest for 6 of those pg months. now THERE was some time for soul searching! and boy did i search. after a day of "hey, i can play solitare and read magazines and books", i went straight to bed rest hell with depression and anxiety, and low self esteem and worth, and and and and.

my gem from it all was realizing how much emphasis my self worth derived from my "doing", and not from just my "being". it was my one of my many break throughs and has much more punch behind it than those simple words can relay. kind of like "you had to be there".

so all of the emotional energy that fueled my motivation to "do" has come full circle into "being" with my 2nd. from the moment he was born i saw the world through his eyes and empathized with every single thing he might have been subjected to, and consequently never let him out of my reach.

i am so proud to recognize that my parenting is so much more from an intuitive as needed basis, rather than a pre planned idea of how things are supposed to be.

while i attribute much of that to time and maturity, i also recognize how this 2nd pg and it's complication really whipped me into shape to remind me how fast paced i had allowed my life to become, and how no matter how much i tried, i was forced to slow down and fathom what might happen if i couldn't be at work, home, shopping, wifing, cooking, cleaning, and everythinging all at once.

the world kept going, nobody died, work still thrived, the dust collected just fine.
mamakarata is offline  
#15 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 01:20 PM
 
momcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: state of grace
Posts: 139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Logged on last night to read posts, but didn't have the energy to reply - laughed, though, when I read your post, El - I was drinking a Stewart's ginger beer while reading. *clink!*

I LOVED being pg. All of the changes my body went through were remarkable to me. We were trying to get pg for well over a year (I have a connective tissue thing similar to lupus, so we knew it would take a while), and when we finally did - WOW! Pretty cool stuff. Perhaps it's different if you get pg quickly??? Or if it is unplanned? I don't know.

I, too, am saddened by women who treat pregnancy as something to be "gotten through." Yes, there are difficult days, days when you're tired, sore, or scared. But those are the days when the whole thing feels like such a miracle, too - it's such a small price to pay to bring another soul to earth! I could really envision myself pg again - just can't envision myself going through the sleep-deprivation of teething again (LOL)!

I thought the chapter was pretty basic, too, but what can you do in just one chapter? Hard to do justice to something so completely, totally life-changing and miraculous in only a few pages.
momcat is offline  
#16 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 04:32 PM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Breathe
So I have this theory (don't flame me, just being honest here) that maybe, sadly, these women will also have trouble surrendering to motherhood. I'm afraid that the resistance they feel now will just continue at each and every stage. I'm watching w/interest.

How about you guys? Did any of you really dread pregnancy? Any of you really sick? Would any of you say that your journey twd mindfulness began AFTER your baby was born?
I was one of those women! I hated being pregnant and I had a really pretty easy pregnancy. NO sickness and not too much discomfort if that is possible with large heavy thing riding in your pelvis I never really complained though. I didn't want it to be over because I knew that then I would be a mommy and that scared me even more

It was more of an emotional time for me. I really freaked out and worried that I would not be up to motherhood. I felt like my body was invaded and I really resented people constantly asking and talking about being pregnant. As if that was all I was anymore, a uterus with legs. THe miracle never occured to me because I was so freaked out. I would say that I was completely detached and I was afraid of losing my wholeness and my self.

But I think that for me that was the best possible pregnancy. I didn't want to think ahead of what to do once I had the baby. Besides a "I will give BFing my best shot (and when I say that I usually succeed at something) and my goal os to BF for a year" attitude, I didn't make any decision about anything else.
So once I had DD I HAD to surrender because she was a high need baby, and I hadn't figured out how to do that. So I put her in my bed, carried her as much as possible and it transformed the mother I could have been into the mother I am. And, in spite of less than perfect behavior on my part, I feel that I am a very attuned and surrendered and (attempting to be) mindful mother. If I had read up in advance, I would have been very mainstream (maybe, maybe I would have seen the light after all). And my mainstream friends I support as much as possible with the realizaton that they are trying to do their best too. They are just reading the wrong books and looking at the rest of society for their cues. Oh, and I am still BFing! at 19 months. I NEVER thought I would be BFing still and most people think I am crazy!

I often think I would like to get pregnant again. THis time I would know it would all be OK and perhaps I could surrender to it and enjoy the miracle and the inward mindfulness. But then I realize I have to put up with the nightwaking again. And we are still putting up with it. I have high hopes for the final teeth being in... Oh, and I would do family bed from the outset. But I feel fine about putting DD to bed in ehr own bed at the beginning of the evening so I would do that too. Of course the next baby would probably have their crib in our room till s/he was able to sleep in the room with DD.

So El, I am the other pregnant people. Even mainstream friends don't seem to freak out like I did though.

clink (my coffee)
J
nuggetsmom is offline  
#17 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 06:20 PM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Jacq, that's quite a story! Thanks for telling it! My pg was tough, despite the fact that I had wanted it for at least a couple of years (though hadn't actually tried until the month we conceived). I did revel in the miracle and all that, but I was also scared and very nauseus (I can NEVER spell that). I haven't read the chapter yet, though. Clink (coffee - decaf b/c it's afternoon).

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#18 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sitting back and taking it all in AND sending out loving vibes to all....Loving everyone's thoughts and finding your pregnancy experiences to be very interesting reading. I'll be back tomorrow, when I'm not so !

Clink
Curly Locks is offline  
#19 of 250 Old 03-25-2003, 09:10 PM
 
LiminalOne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Greater Portland, Maine
Posts: 562
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello, tribe! my water glass clinks your more exciting beverage. i'm parched as the dessert right now as my moon is rising.

Thanks for sharing your stories and making me remember almost 2 years ago.

Ahhh, pregnancy! I definitely wallowed in it, feeling both amazing and scared and just wanting to soak the whole transition up (hence the word liminal, meaning threshhold, in my username). I remember napping religiously (even when I couldn't get myself to fall asleep), making endless excuses for not getting work done, feeling nauseous for the first trimester, but also feeling magical, feeling like i wanted to remember being on the cusp of parenthood and thinking way too much about the type of parent that I wanted to be.

I was in no hurry for Finn (or Ringo as he was called in uterus) to be born, not that I didn't want to meet him, but I tried to be patient and let my body call the shots.

I look forward to being pregnant again sometime I think but I'm already a little sad that I won't be able to wallow as much. I hate the idea of being stressed during pregnancy, not being able to at a moment's notice feed a craving. I think that's part of the reason that I can't imagine doing it anytime soon or with a toddler for that matter. Not to mention parenting two (boggles my mind), but I'm sure that you develop the skills necessary to cope with whatever the situation offers, right? Still, waiting for awhile seems to be the best option for us right now, though baby lust is very seductive..... Anyone else thinking ahead to next time

Angie

Angie, Mama to Finn (6/01) and Theo (4/05)
LiminalOne is offline  
#20 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 03:40 PM
 
mamabutterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 1,778
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi all!

Good to settle in with you and a cup of tea (I actually did just make myself one!)

Thank you for sharing these pregnancy stories!! I did just read the chapter over last night (this was my favorite section the first time around too, Heather!) and found it strange to read... I feel sort of distanced from that time now, and the *obsession* I had with thinking/reading/devouring all info related to pregnancy & birthing has faded.

But reading your stories was a wonderful new window into your mothering paths. And it did have me thinking of mine again. Sophie was not the product of intentional 'planning' or trying. We had been married 2 years but thought vaguely we would wait another 2. This was more dh's desire - I was beginning to have very strong longings for motherhood. When my period was late I was nervous about his reaction, just that he would be so shocked -- fortunately he was able to be thrilled from the first.

At the risk of giving away too much info about myself if anyone reading this knows me, but oh well -- Dh was facing trial for a peace action months before, and it happened when I was 8 weeks pregnant. Much to everyone's surprise, he got an unprecedented 6 month sentence.

Now I wouldn't have 'chosen' this, but it really was an amazing time. Yes, we were apart, but it gave each of us so much space for introspection, reading, prayer, thought. He used it as a period of self-improvement, and I was so wrapped up in the changes within me, my own preparations, etc, that the time alone was very special. I missed him terribly, but with letter writing daily (who ever does that anymore when you are married?) and long uninterrupted visits in the prison visiting room, (plus no squabbles over stupid household stuff, lol!) our relationship was the strongest it's ever been.

And I had a sense, though I didn't know the extent of it, that I'd never be alone in the same way again. So I revelled in baths, naps, daily walks, read dozens of novels. I don't have to tell any of you how rare those things are since her birth!

I also regained a yoga practiced and healthy eating during that time, and while I felt like *crap* (really really bad) for weeks 7-12, the next few months I felt amazing -- more energy than pre-pregnancy, and an actual sex-drive which isn't my strong suit (and which hasn't been heard from since, ) When dh returned at my 8th month it was a beautiful reunion!

Also, all the letter writing and journaling was very meditative, and I would say it was a very mindful time overall.

Nap time's almost over -- back to the dishes and a few minutes of the NPR news, which gets more horrible each day .

love, anne

teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
mamabutterfly is offline  
#21 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 03:42 PM
 
mamabutterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 1,778
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by LiminalOne
[Still, waiting for awhile seems to be the best option for us right now, though baby lust is very seductive..... Anyone else thinking ahead to next time

Angie [/B]
Just to answer this: DD's just 13 months, but I have to say I also can't *imagine* mothering two!!! I know if it happened I would probably rise to the occasion but nowadays instead of a 2-3 year gap I'm thinking 4-5 years.

teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
mamabutterfly is offline  
#22 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 03:55 PM
 
Iguanavere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gosh - i have so much I want to add, but I can't make the time right now - I must take care of some personal stuff!

Mamabutterfly - what an amazing story! I'm kind of confused thought, can you fix the time-line for me - at what point did dh go into prison and when did he get out?

I loved this chapter - I love that all of these chapters are short - very meditative, whcih is what I think they were intended to be.

The first thing I felt was that I couldn't wait to be pregnant again, so that I could have a more mindful approach to pregnancy.

The first time around, I was so into the *technical* stuff of pregnancy. I had a rude awakening when my first labor was very hard emotionally. I had preparied by being book-smart about pregnancy, but not very emotionally intuned with myself.

The second time around I did birth art and read "birthing from within"...that was amazing - i had a great labor and DD birth was ecstatic.

My pregnancy with her, however, was horrible. Horrible sicknees, terrible PPD - I was feeling suicidal...acupuncture saved me...

Anyway - I would love to have another pregnancy in about 3 years....I'd love to have one more child!
Iguanavere is offline  
#23 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 04:11 PM
 
mamabutterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 1,778
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ig - In the course of my pregnancy, he was away from 2 months to 8 months. (He returned in January, she was born in February... had to cram at those last couple of birthing classes, lol!)

teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
mamabutterfly is offline  
#24 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 04:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel like a kid in a candy store...only I'm at my 1st tea party in over 20 years and the weird thing is it's a virtual tea party!! Oh well. Maybe we'll all meet up in a dream or something...

So much to say. So little time. And so little brain cells in my head these days. But I have to agree with Mamaste about our pregnancies (AT LEAST MINE WAS) being such a medical event and OB thing. I went to the doctor at least a dozen times when I was pg....tummy measuring, peeing in a cup at the visits(I dont remember why), blood pressure checks, weight checks, ultrasounds, listening to babe's heartbeat, being checked for dialation of the uterus...and on and on! Looking back I feel like it was such a waste of my time since my pg was so healthy and normal. :

And YES! YES! YES! I think (daydream and worry too) of the next pg/baby. A few months ago when my libido came for a short visit I thought I had conceived. I was so scared!!!! Before I thought I had conceived I was toying with the idea of another baby. And then when the moment of truth arrived I realized two years apart was NOT enough time for me. But whenever it happens again there are so many things I will do different as well. Like more walks and talking to the baby in my belly. Trying to enjoy it all more and not worry so much about the birth and what life will be like when the pg is done. It will all work out...it always does.

CLINK (prune juice for me today but that ginger beer sounds yummy ladies!!)
Curly Locks is offline  
#25 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 09:43 PM
 
Breathe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 1,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You guys are making me want to tell birth stories! Wanna?!?!

I'd love to tell mine (an abridged version, I promise) bc I was mindful, but at the wrong times!

But only if others will share, too.

Who's in?
Breathe is offline  
#26 of 250 Old 03-26-2003, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Breathe
You guys are making me want to tell birth stories! Wanna?!?!

I'd love to tell mine (an abridged version, I promise) bc I was mindful, but at the wrong times!

But only if others will share, too. Who's in?
I'm in!!! You all go first! My birth story is not all that mindful or interesting...except I went into labor on my b-day. Mine was a classic hospital birth...eposiotme (SP??) and OB doc. But I did not have an epidural. Next time I want an escatic birth!!!

It's a good idea to talk birth stories since next week's chapter is on "Births" anyway. This will give us a head start.

Curly Locks is offline  
#27 of 250 Old 03-27-2003, 12:28 AM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by LiminalOne
Anyone else thinking ahead to next time

Angie
Angie, water can be very exciting when you are parched!

Yes, I'm thinking ahead to next time a lot, but parenting two (and being pg while parenting a toddler) also boggles my mind. It's come up a lot more lately actually b/c AF just returned, and Meg just passed my minimum age for TTC #2. We have decided we aren't quite ready yet, though...

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#28 of 250 Old 03-27-2003, 12:36 AM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by mamabutterfly
I feel sort of distanced from that time now, and the *obsession* I had with thinking/reading/devouring all info related to pregnancy & birthing has faded.

Nap time's almost over -- back to the dishes and a few minutes of the NPR news, which gets more horrible each day .

love, anne
Anne, I KWYM aobut feeling distanced from the obsession of pg now...and I think about how during the next baby's pg I probably won't even know from week to week which system is developing and exactly the average size and weight of a baby that age, etc...

I'm listening to NPR way too much. At least I'm not watching the news, but still, I think it's not good for me, or for Meg.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#29 of 250 Old 03-27-2003, 01:11 AM
 
Megs Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Curly Locks
I'm in!!! You all go first!
Ouch, ouch, stop twisting my arm! OK, I'll go first... I have mine written up and stored on my computer so I just have to copy and paste...here ya go.

CNM/hospital. Refused all the tests except u/s. Met all six of the midwives on the team, took childbirth class from one of them. I was having dinner with friends the night I went into labor. DH was at work. I was 39w1d. I stood up from the table and though I felt a little leaky down below. Went to the bathroom, wasn't sure. Was pretty hesitant b/c I had been to the hospital the previous week thinking my water had broken and it had not. So I went home and tested the pH of the fluid w/pH paper DH had brought home from the lab he works in. That indicated the possibility of amniotic fluid. When DH got home we started to watch 24, our favorite show, but I couldn't concentrate b/c I started getting contractions. We decided to go to the hospital since they had told us to come right away if my water broke. They confirmed there that I was losing amniotic fluid but the ctxs were far apart and not very painful so they sent me home for 12 hours. Also, the labor nurse pi$$sed me off by saying I was too cheerful to be in labor! Little did I know, she was pretty much right! We went back after only several hrs. b/c the ctxs got closer together and more painful. They admitted me and I was already several cms. Over the next several hours I went like wildfire, got close to 7 cms. very quickly. Tried the jacuzzi, as water during pg had been very relaxing, but found it made me way too hot and only lasted in there about 15 minutes. Midwife said it wouldn't be long so we called family, who all lived out of state. They did not hear from us again for 12 hours and were panicking that something had gone terribly wrong. It hadn't, I had just stalled. I was near transition, going on no sleep, and not progressing so midwife broke my smaller water bag and put me on IV meds so I could get a nap. At the time that felt like a really good decision, although in the future I think I would pass on both. The meds stopped my progress completely but I slept on and off for a couple of hours. Then I got back to walking, walking, walking (naked, with the thermostat around 60 F!) for a few more hours. Got a little pitocin. I was told when it was time to push although I did not feel the urge, despite the meds having worn off. Pushed for 1-1/2 hours, had my baby girl put immediately on my chest all bloody and warm and quiet-alert. I talked a blue streak to her. I kept asking to nurse and kept being told to wait. I asked b/c I wanted help. Next time I won't ask and I won't wait. The first month of breastfeeding was a nightmare. I was discharged after 48 hours, DD was kept an extra day (we roomed in) for jaundice. Something else I won't allow next time. Speaking of next time, it will be a birth center, I think...

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
Megs Mom is offline  
#30 of 250 Old 03-27-2003, 01:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
Curly Locks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In the moment (hopefully)
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was consumed by the 9/11 attack that took place when I was six months pregnant, my husband losing his job a week prior to 9/11, and being left to sell our newly built home in a town far from my family. It was not always easy for me to see the happy side of my situation which was the miracle growing inside of me, my baby boy. Although daydreaming about my baby and feeling him move inside of me did bring me so much joy during a stressful time. I looked forward to reading the only book I had about pregnancy, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” I was also consumed by my changing shape.

Looking back on my pregnancy and reading the quote below from the chapter on “Birth” from “EB” I see how focused I was on having a great pregnancy that I was not really preparing myself for the reality motherhood, if that is possible.
Quote:
“We spend most of energy while we are pregnant focusing on the birth of our baby, and it is not until our baby is born that we truly understand that birth is just the beginning.”
I lived in the moment just trying to get through each day. In that sense I guess I was mindful. The rest of the above quote reads:
Quote:
“But the inner work we do during pregnancy and birthing is good training for mindful parenting.”
Hindsight is 20/20 because I wished I would have done more exploring and preparing for the birth of my son and breastfeeding, other than the classes offered at the hospital that we went to. I really wasn’t familiar with other parenting styles and birth options and their benefits. I guess I was as mainstream and uninformed as one could be! Therefore, when the birth did arrive and I fell flat on my face in terms of expectations I had, I was devastated, depressed, stitched up, and in a lot of pain. I was so in love with my baby though and wanted to do the best for him. Yet, leaving the hospital was a trying experience, me in a wheelchair and baby in his car seat. We cried all the way to the car. Feeling helpless, terrified, overwhelmed, and angry I spent the next few months in a daze of just trying to make it through every day, every nursing session, every milestone of the day and week. I was paralyzed in the moment. Unable to reach out for help, other than from my husband who was working full time and going to school at night at the time. What a scary time in my life.
Curly Locks is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off