Hey Angie, that in-house date is a great idea! You guys are gonna wanna kick me for ever complaining, 'cause we live in our home town (we're h.s. sweethearts) and have all of ds's grandparents here to help out for dates (all SEVEN of them, since everyone is divorced). Not all of them are up to the job, but 2 sets consistently are, so we get out 1-2 times a month.
That said, on weekends when no one can sit, we have instituted "Family Date Night," where all 3 of us go out to dinner, then to the movie store (where ds very seriously and intently rearranges all the movies at his eye level -- so cute!), and then home for the bedtime routine, after which dh and I watch our movie, no matter how late it is. And since you've twisted my arm, I'll divulge one last secret . . . I'll usually agree to fool around after the movie (even if it's 1 a.m.) if dh promises to let me sleep in the next morning.
I know, I know, that's pure and simple BRIBERY, but hey, I love lovin' my husband, so I'm not compromising myself, and dh, for some whacko reason, thinks it's kinda cute (not to mention that his needs get met so he doesn't care how tired he is) and it makes for a very nice start to the weekend. Really and truly, dh and I get along SO much better once we've reconnected physically.
I did get to read "Resonances" again today and I was reminded of a guidance counselor at the school where I taught who used to emphasize to parents how CRITICAL it was that they put their marriage FIRST. He said that if the parents were happy, the babes would be happy. And I, being childless yet oh-so-knowledgable about ALL things, agreed with him wholeheartedly and spouted this opinion to any parents who would listen.
Now of course I understand that it's WAY more complicated than this (did I mention that the counselor didn't have children, either?), and in fact have believed all along that ds comes first and our marriage can wait, if needed, 'cause we are adults.
And I still believe this, but I must say that I am DISTRESSED to hear this common theme among us . . . that we so often feel distant from our partners, and perhaps our AP choices are making the distance last longer than it might.
What can we do about this, mamas? How can we show the world that AP is right for the whole FAMILY, not just the precious babes? 'Cause you know this is a favorite and pervasive criticism. And I DO believe that our babies need us to stay married to their daddies (or other mommies, but in this case, all daddies, I think) bc our partnerships can be the foundations for their lives -- a safe place from which to venture and a reliable place to come home to.
Can we help each other with this?
(H: I think you just posted, but I haven't read it yet -- will do soon.)