we went to marshall rosenberg's lecture here in atlanta on tues. i came away with some interesting stuff (when i was inside--my one yo had other ideas than sitting quietly in the sling!). this is my take--not nvc. the judgement thing is very cultural, ingrained from the beginning, reinforced especially in schools (competition, demands, telling you what to do/when/how....grading, etc) also, MR said no one can teach a child anything nor make them do something. you can force someone into through guilt, shame, humiliation...but it will always, at some point, haunt us. sigh. yes, i see this all too clearly.
i'd like to agree that language plays a huge part in my understanding of nvc. we are limited to words---what i might label sad may be totally different from someone else's understanding/interpretation---does that make sense? i'm really digging deep into the use of my words right now. i have a huge habit of not only making 1000s of moralistic judgements eachday but also stuff like:
"you are making me so angry"
no, i am choosing to react this way. no one can make me feel anything!
sorry if this isn't meeting everyone's need for clarity! i'm in such a stuck place with my almost 4 yo. MR was saying you can use NVC from birth, and unfortunately, it's like learning a foreign language to me, and i want to be fluent. i know just enough to realize how little i know...and how ineffective i've been communicating lovingly thus far in my life. hope i haven't gone waaaaay off the trail here.
for the greatest good,