Feeling baby move - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 01-13-2010, 09:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Did anyone not feel the initial fluttering movement & move right to feeling actual pokes or jabs from a moving babe? I am trying to focus hard on feeling my baby move & haven't ever really felt flutters. I do feel what I think are jabs. And then I think it is gas or muscle twitches (or the morbid me - dead baby rolls). I'm 17 weeks with a pretty significantly tilted uterus. I've just started to look pregnant last week.

Everyone elsewhere on natural parenting boards that I frequent claim to feel movement earlier and earlier, like at crazy 11 or 9 weeks. I know being 17 weeks is still within the range of normal to not feel a lot of movement, but I'm starting to get anxious. I think PAL moms deserve early and strong movement.

Here is my baggage I bring to my question: My son was stillborn at 22w5d. At first everyone said he had died much earlier, despite my other doctor finding a heartbeat at 20w2 days & me feeling movement until close to the end, albeit gentle movement not pokes and jabs. People were suggesting that what I had been feeling wasn't really baby movement, which caused me to really doubt that I know what a moving baby feels like despite 3 successful full term pregnancies. In the end, the autopsy showed he had died at about 21 weeks and proved that what I had been feeling was indeed baby moving, but doubting myself still lingers.

Mom of 5: dd (10), ds (8) & dd2 (4), my sweet baby son born still 3/2/09, and celebrating the arrival of our dd 5/7/10.
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#2 of 8 Old 01-13-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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At 17 weeks I felt what I would classify as scratches, if that makes sense

D. proud Mom of H. E. M. and T. always remembering Norah (11/07 at 40 wks) and (10/06) see profile
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#3 of 8 Old 01-14-2010, 02:24 AM
 
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Hmmm, if I make it that far, I bet I could totally write your post. Maybe I'll just copy and save it

I had the same thing, except, I never really felt any movement with my 20 week loss. We SAW the baby on an u/s around 16 weeks but I wasn't feeling movement then. I was told it was normal. I didn't even worry. I remember saying something like, " I thought I would be feeling something by now" but then didn't explore it further. Denial is thick sometimes. They think she died around 17 weeks. I never really felt anything.

Then, with my next pregnancy I remember telling the doctor at my 15 week appointment that I was concerned by not feeling anything. I mean, I would think, " Is that something?" but it was never CLEAR in my mind that YES, that was movement. But he got a heartbeat and everything was fine. I started bleeding 2 weeks later and the baby was VERY small for her gestational age, which would explain why I hadn't felt anything.

So, I'm going to be feeling anxious about movement too. My youngest child is 5 years old so it's been a LONG time since I really felt something. I'm thinking of getting a doppler to ease my mind till the movement is more recognizable.

thinking of you....

Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10

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#4 of 8 Old 01-14-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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FWIW, I didn't feel anything *at all* until at least 16 weeks, then nothing really definitive until even later. My uterus is retroverted as well, though by 14 weeks or so they all flip out so that's no longer an issue. Turns out I have an anterior placenta, which definitely explains it. Of course, now I worry that it's not *enough* movement or not strong enough, but, oh, y'all understand.

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#5 of 8 Old 01-14-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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oh momma--i feel your fear
for me... i think i felt him early BUT becasue of my fear and mistrust of my body after the loss i didn't accept it anything less than the super obvious--i say this becasue maybe that's where your brain is at? you might be feeling the baby but would don't want to jump to any conclusions? i know it doens't make logical sense since there i snothing we want more than to feel that baby move but us PAL moms are very cautious i think.

but really i hope you have some good care for this ride-- i've found that before i had clear movement i needed to check in on the bean at least weekly and so i needed a care provider who understood that! ((((HUGS))))

Abbey bow.gif (I surrender!) Mom to Milos Moonbeam candle.gif lost during labor at 39 weeks and born silently at home on 01/26/09...
AND my Monty Black-Bear rainbow1284.gifjoy.gif born 02/04/10
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#6 of 8 Old 01-14-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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Hi Expat,

I don't post here very often, but I couldn't read your response and not reply as we have so much in common....I, too, had a 22 week loss last year. I lost my first baby and I NEVER felt movement, which I didn't realize until too late that that was abnormal.

I am now pregnant again, just a week ahead of you, and having the same experience with movement...I think I'm feeling something, sometimes, but I also think it could just be digestion. I do have an anterior placenta this time which I know can delay the point in which you feel obvious movement. But, then I get on those boards and just like you said, people are talking about how they've been feeling babe since 10 weeks and I'm sure there's something wrong again!

I write to tell you that I'm thinking of you and feeling EXACTLY where you're at...because, I'm right there as well. I'm really hoping that you and I will feel some big, obvious kicks very soon!

A.
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#7 of 8 Old 01-14-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I have never felt early movement and I still doubt myself when I read all those stories in DDCs. It's true for others, just not for me. From about 17-22 weeks I *thought* I was feeling movement this pregnancy but I was never totally sure. Could have been anything really. It's only in the past week or so (23 weeks) that I've been, 'yeah that's baby'. In the beginning it's just so faint and we're all unsure of ourselves because of our past. It's hard to trust.

*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#8 of 8 Old 01-16-2010, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all for your replies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbeyWH View Post
oh momma--i feel your fear
for me... i think i felt him early BUT becasue of my fear and mistrust of my body after the loss i didn't accept it anything less than the super obvious--i say this becasue maybe that's where your brain is at? you might be feeling the baby but would don't want to jump to any conclusions? i know it doens't make logical sense since there i snothing we want more than to feel that baby move but us PAL moms are very cautious i think.
I think that is part of what is happening for me. I can't trust that what I feel is actually this little one moving. But these untrustworthy feelings have been happening a bit more consistently over the past day or so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyinwaiting View Post
I don't post here very often, but I couldn't read your response and not reply as we have so much in common....I, too, had a 22 week loss last year. I lost my first baby and I NEVER felt movement, which I didn't realize until too late that that was abnormal.

I am now pregnant again, just a week ahead of you, and having the same experience with movement...I think I'm feeling something, sometimes, but I also think it could just be digestion. I do have an anterior placenta this time which I know can delay the point in which you feel obvious movement. But, then I get on those boards and just like you said, people are talking about how they've been feeling babe since 10 weeks and I'm sure there's something wrong again!

I write to tell you that I'm thinking of you and feeling EXACTLY where you're at...because, I'm right there as well. I'm really hoping that you and I will feel some big, obvious kicks very soon!
Me too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by apecaut View Post
I have never felt early movement and I still doubt myself when I read all those stories in DDCs. It's true for others, just not for me. From about 17-22 weeks I *thought* I was feeling movement this pregnancy but I was never totally sure. Could have been anything really. It's only in the past week or so (23 weeks) that I've been, 'yeah that's baby'. In the beginning it's just so faint and we're all unsure of ourselves because of our past. It's hard to trust.
It is hard to trust. I hate that feeling movement seems to be another badge of successful baby carrying, because it makes me feel like a failure.

This is my 5th pregnancy that I've carried this far. You'd think I'd remember something from the first 3 that were successful term births, or that maybe I might have even written something down! It never crossed my mind because up until last time being pregnant meant 40+ weeks & then a nice healthy baby at the end.

I realized tonight that I am holding back from really bonding with this babe within. I'm too scared of a repeat so somehow I've convinced myself that if I don't let myself get too attached I won't hurt quite so much. I'm finding myself quite distant from Max's memory too, as if thinking too much about him will be bad juju on this pregnancy. PAL is one messed up experience!

I think I need to let myself think ahead & plan a bit for this little one. I haven't let myself do that yet. I'm trying to decide if I'm brave enough to start sewing some diapers or knitting a blanket, in faith of who is to come.

Mom of 5: dd (10), ds (8) & dd2 (4), my sweet baby son born still 3/2/09, and celebrating the arrival of our dd 5/7/10.
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