Mothering our Rainbow Babies: Babies, Toddlers, and Pregnant Mamas Too! Decemeber 2011 Chat - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 29 Old 12-02-2011, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not going to give up!!! Chat away ladies!

 

Today my ds3 turned 5. I started this thread when he was born, he was my first rainbow baby and I found that when he was born I didn't really feel that I fit in anywhere. I am experiencing that again this time. I just don't parent the same after a loss, so many fears and worries, mixed emotions, etc.

 

Hope everyone and their babies are doing well.

 


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#2 of 29 Old 12-02-2011, 08:45 PM
 
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Jumping in since my little one will be here soon! Because of pre-e I have my induction scheduled for the 14th! Seems soooo close and soooo far away all at once!

 

Anyway, this has been a very bittersweet week for me. It's our "angelversary week"... 4 years ago this week we found out our little girl no longer had a heartbeat on Nov 30 and then I delivered on Dec 2. I had an ultrasound on the 30th with my little guy (weekly BPP) and it was very reassuring, and just having a very wiggly baby in there right now has brought me a lot of peace during this hard time. It's strange though... to be missing and mourning my daughter but at the same time being so excited for her little brother's arrival so close to her day...

 

My anxiety is really starting to pick up the closer I get. & It might sound stragne but the pre-e diagnosis at 29 weeks was/is a blessing in disguise. It's gotten me A LOT of extra attention and monitoring so knowing things look good with the baby on a weekly basis brings me a lot of hope. I think if I were just waiting and having a "normal" pregnancy my anxiety level would be SO much worse!

 

I am just SO ready to meet this little guy face to face!!!


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#3 of 29 Old 12-02-2011, 11:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Liz-you are so close! I think you lost your daughter about the same gestation as I lost emeric. This pg was so hard. I am glad you are getting lots of extra care. Holding him will make pal sooooo worth it.
Did you do anything for your daughters angelversary?

nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#4 of 29 Old 12-03-2011, 09:19 AM
 
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Liz-you are so close! I think you lost your daughter about the same gestation as I lost emeric. This pg was so hard. I am glad you are getting lots of extra care. Holding him will make pal sooooo worth it.
Did you do anything for your daughters angelversary?


Exactly the same time, 17 weeks.

 

We went to McDonanlds. Sounds totally weird, but I craved it SO bad when I was pregnant with her, so on her day I give in to it! smile.gif We also go to a special beach for her and do balloons in May, her due date, because it tends to be a little too cold for that here in Dec!


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#5 of 29 Old 12-03-2011, 11:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That sounds awesome!! I am glad you set aside special time and that sounds like a good tradition.

Emeric's birthday is in august and last year (for his 1st) we had a pool party. We plan to make a tradition out of it. I don't know if I will do something this year for the due date or not. Last year I got a tatto with 4 dragonflys for all of my angels, donated a boys layette to birth right, and worked on my scrap book.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#6 of 29 Old 12-05-2011, 06:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went to my Subsequent Choices SHARE (sc SHARE- loss support group for those parenting or thinking about parenting after a loss) Christmas party last night. I am so grateful to have all of those wonderful families in my life. Santa came and he was so authintic and my kiddos had a blast with him and didn't blow it for anyone else (they don't believe in the traditional since). This christmas is already turning out to be sooooo much easier emotionally that last year.

Kids got a 2 hr delay today. We just have a sprinkleing of snow so it must be icey, not sure. That means that my 2 kids that have pre-school are home all day. I need to come up with a plan to entertain.

Hoping the big kids get canceled as it is just a pain to have to take them mid-morning.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#7 of 29 Old 12-09-2011, 02:09 PM
 
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Well I've been a bit busy so not been around but I did actually manage to finish our online shop, yay for that. Been working on it for years, literally. Then big style on the new easier to use software since Leo was quite young.

 

Anyway my news, I'm knocked up, due mid August! So obviously still early days, not yet 1 week late yet so just chilling waiting for the symptoms to start.

 

Jill lovely to see/hear from you. I also sometimes get a bit down with the loss thing. Sometimes I just need to take a break. I don't know if I feel at that place where I'll join the preggo thread. I dunno it just seems strange to not be graduating up from TTC witha  bunch of girls. But then again I don't think I feel totally normal enough to go away from the loss side completely. And also I still am on a board with my december girls (a bunch of us have stuck together and created an off mdc board), so maybe I feel like I'm cheating on them to join another ddc, and can I keep up with this many groups? Heavens I may need to lie down! Too many decisions.

 

This pregnancy I have a major decision. 20 mins away is the nearest hospital to us. Now this is the big hospital, the main one of the province. The one with the NICU. I followed Isabel there entering through ER, and we visited each time going through the main entrance. I cannot explain the dread and awful feeling each time we went up those stairs. So the other choice is the hospital I've birthed at twice before, lovely and friendly, superb place. However it's basically an hour away, so the fuel and time each time for visits, espcially if I'm only weekly NSTs at the end. It was way easier for Jordan when we were close to the hospital than when we were far away. But if this is where we are going to live I need to make peace with the hospital, I need to feel happy there. It is our local hospital, at some point we are going to use it

 

I am so jealous of you girls having IRL loss groups. How wonderful to have that support.


Clare briefly mother for 3 weeks to Isabel 25-12-08, Soaking up every precious moment with my little guy Dec-10. My blog link is in my profile.

1********10**stork-suprise.gif ******20*********30*********40

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#8 of 29 Old 12-09-2011, 02:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Clare- So glad you are checking in. I was waiting for that announcement!!! Congratulations!!!! How was your girl timing?

I found this thread to be a perfectly good place to post when pg with my my subsequent pregnancies after my rainbow baby. I didn't quite fit in PAL bcs the anxiety wasn't as intense as it had been but didn't quite fit in the regular ddc either. I didn't post in PAL again until after I lost Emeric and then this wasn't the right place because there were a few mamas mirroring what would have been Emeric and Pepper's pg's.

How are you doing as Christmas approaches? I know that is a real trigger for you.

 

Real Life Support- I am blessed beyond measure to have my SHARE group and my SCSHARE group (The sc group is specific to pg/parenting after loss and is great) I really don't know how I would have gotten through without the support that I find there. I didn't know about that group after my first 2 losses and it was such a lonely road. Finding that group has been a real blessing.

 

Liz- how are you doing? You are sooooo close!

 

AFM- as Christmas approaches I am having more and more anxiety. The holidays are always hard but I think it is intensified if you suffered a loss near them. I am just remembering how raw and broken I felt last year

 

Saphira is doing really well. I think she might have trouble with her hearing, she doesn't really respond to sound. We are going to ask about it at her appt. in Jan. Besides that she is still sleeping a lot. She will be 8 wks on Sun. and we are still waiting for that first smile.

 


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#9 of 29 Old 12-09-2011, 10:18 PM
 
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Clare!!! jumpers.gif How exciting!!!

 

 

 

Quote:

 

Liz- how are you doing? You are sooooo close!

 

Hanging in there!!! Hopefully I *AM* still so close. Had a moment at the doctor's appt. today where she was hesitant to go forward with the induction on the 14th because my due dates are a little wonky. I'm due on the 20th based on my LMP, but my 8 week dating u/s gave me the 26th... So... since the dates are within a week of each other I guess they keep my LMP date, but if anything comes up on Wed. (like too many people in l&d) I'll be bumped to the 19th. I'm trying not to put all my hopes into having him this Wednesday now though because I don't want to be let down... so I'm just going to go with the flow. Besides that, the pre-e is way stable. My BPs have been mostly great and all my labs look perfect, protein is not increasing, baby looks awesome on the BPPs... so yeah. I might have to wait 5 days longer, but, we'll see!! I just want him out safe and healthy, whenever it ends up being. But I am really anxious too and So ready to meet him! love.gif

 

Also, my OB checked things out today, and I was about 2cm dilated and 25% effaced! Yay! 2 weeks ago I was closed up tight, so progress is awesome and will hopefully make the induction process a little smoother! Or you know, he could just decide to come on his own this weekend... full moon eclipse baby, maybe? orngbiggrin.gif

 

Beyond all of that I'm just sitting around killing time! Can't wait!!!!

 

Quote:

 

AFM- as Christmas approaches I am having more and more anxiety. The holidays are always hard but I think it is intensified if you suffered a loss near them. I am just remembering how raw and broken I felt last year

 

I hear that. I spent the last few Christmas' so raw and bitter and now to have some excitement and hope when before there was only pain... it's really strange. It's definitely causing some anxiety for me too, being due so close to my daughter's birthday...

 

Quote:

 

Saphira is doing really well. I think she might have trouble with her hearing, she doesn't really respond to sound. We are going to ask about it at her appt. in Jan. Besides that she is still sleeping a lot. She will be 8 wks on Sun. and we are still waiting for that first smile.

 

8 weeks, wow! Goes by so fast when they're little!!! I hope everything turns out ok with her hearing!

 


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#10 of 29 Old 12-10-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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Well I've been a bit busy so not been around but I did actually manage to finish our online shop, yay for that. Been working on it for years, literally. Then big style on the new easier to use software since Leo was quite young.

Anyway my news, I'm knocked up, due mid August! So obviously still early days, not yet 1 week late yet so just chilling waiting for the symptoms to start.

Jill lovely to see/hear from you. I also sometimes get a bit down with the loss thing. Sometimes I just need to take a break. I don't know if I feel at that place where I'll join the preggo thread. I dunno it just seems strange to not be graduating up from TTC witha  bunch of girls. But then again I don't think I feel totally normal enough to go away from the loss side completely. And also I still am on a board with my december girls (a bunch of us have stuck together and created an off mdc board), so maybe I feel like I'm cheating on them to join another ddc, and can I keep up with this many groups? Heavens I may need to lie down! Too many decisions.

This pregnancy I have a major decision. 20 mins away is the nearest hospital to us. Now this is the big hospital, the main one of the province. The one with the NICU. I followed Isabel there entering through ER, and we visited each time going through the main entrance. I cannot explain the dread and awful feeling each time we went up those stairs. So the other choice is the hospital I've birthed at twice before, lovely and friendly, superb place. However it's basically an hour away, so the fuel and time each time for visits, espcially if I'm only weekly NSTs at the end. It was way easier for Jordan when we were close to the hospital than when we were far away. But if this is where we are going to live I need to make peace with the hospital, I need to feel happy there. It is our local hospital, at some point we are going to use it

I am so jealous of you girls having IRL loss groups. How wonderful to have that support.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!joy.gif:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy:joy

I saw your status on FB urging PAL ladies to check in here, and I excitedly ran over here to see...and it's true!! joy.gif:joy:joy:joy

So super psyched for you, Jordan and Leo!! Oh he is going to be such an awesome big brother!! I hope to join you in your "knocked up" state sometime early next year...unless I chicken out. Seems that my mind is totally ready for another snuggly little newborn but my body is like "Hold on, lady, you are EXHAUSTED with the two you've got right now!!" Haha. Hopefully my body gets on board soon.

YEA CLARE!!! How was your girl timing?

As for the hospital, I can't say that I totally relate because I don't, but I *do* understand the feelings of sickness, dread, sadness, etc. that stem just from PASSING BY the hospital where the boys spent those 5 months in the NICU, and I feel the exact same way (maybe worse?) when I pass the hospital that Nick was flown to by helicopter the day of his horrible accident. I literally get like waves of nausea (not morning sickness, haha) when I see the buildings.

If you think there is a way for you to come to some peace about birthing there, bringing some joyous happy memories to that horrible place, then it makes sense to try to do that. I'm not sure I could...if Noah or Ryan had not survived...I'm not sure I'd personally have the ability to go back to that same hospital over and over again and relive those memories. It's hard enough doing that when they DID survive. I can't walk into the hospital that Nick was flown to without having PTSD-like memories.

So I guess what I'm saying is, take it easy on yourself. Do what you feel you can, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you have to go to the farther away hospital, then that's what you have to do for yourself. If this is an opportunity to bring some peace and healing to the experience of the hospital closer to you, then use it as such. Do what feels RIGHT to you. hug.gif

So excited for you!!

Claire , married to my hero, Nick . Our two rainbows babies are here!!! Welcome Noah Peter and Ryan Matthew, born at 25 weeks 6 days on 01/14/09 by emergency C-section!! We are in love!!!
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#11 of 29 Old 12-10-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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Congratulations Clare, that is wonderful!!  orngbiggrin.gif

 

I've finished Calliope's gift for her stocking this year.  I went with a teeny decorated tree.  As her stocking fills with more and more tiny gifts it does make me sad.  But I like that the kids enjoy looking in her stocking, so it's a nice way for us all to remember her.  Here's some pictures:

 

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b206/NullSet8/Calliope/IMG_3073.jpg

 

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b206/NullSet8/Calliope/IMG_3095.jpg


*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#12 of 29 Old 12-10-2011, 01:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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nullset- that tree is adorable!! what a wonderful collections of things you have! I can see how that would be really sad to see how much time has gone by without her.:(.

 

claireb- it is good to "hear" from you. How are the boys doing?

 

Off to teach a EC class, excited to have a little model:). Hopefully she cooperates.

 

 


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#13 of 29 Old 12-10-2011, 04:58 PM
 
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Clare:

broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gifjoy.gif

broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gifjoy.gif

broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gifjoy.gif

broc1.gifcarrot.gifbanana.gifjoy.gif

Well, a pg announcement needs some dancing veg! Like Claire, I suspected this from your FB status and I'm thrilled to have my suspicions confirmed. Wishing you a H&H 9 months and a lifetime beyond. So pleased to hear this. Holding you in my thoughts as Christmas and Isabel's birthday approaches.

 

Amy: Calliope's stocking and its contents are gorgeous - so precious. I'm hoping to get back into knitting this year - my mum is giving me all her needles et al as a Christmas gift so, hopefully,I can pick it up again. I'd love to make something for Emma.

 

Liz: Can't wait to hear about baby boy - I hope everything goes smoothly, whichever date his birthday end up being.

 

We're good - put the tree up today. Lot's of ornaments with Emma's name on them now- this being our 4th Christmas without her mecry.gif

 


Jill &heartbeat.gif the keepers of my heartheartbeat.gif : Dave, Ben (9/2002), Lucy (9/2004), (m/c 9/2007) Emma (born still on her due date and forever missed 10/2008) and Tobias (1/2010)grouphug.gif
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#14 of 29 Old 12-11-2011, 10:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Fireflyforever View Post
.

 

Liz: Can't wait to hear about baby boy - I hope everything goes smoothly, whichever date his birthday end up being.


 


Well, I had to go into l&d Sat. for a NST. Baby was so wiggly on Friday they couldn't get what they needed, so I went back. Saw my doctor then and she said we're on for Wednesday still, so long as there aren't a ton of women going into labor that day, which they don't anticipate as this is a slow month for them... but anyway...

 

Beyond that, it's looking like it'll be sooner rather than later regardless! Like I said, I was dilated to 2 the other day, and have been crampy and back-achy off and on and lost my mucus plug tonight! I know that doesn't mean labor is coming right away, but I am making progress so ya never know! I could do on my own in the next couple of days which would be awesome! And even if I don't, the more primed I am the better the induction should go, so, I'll take it! orngbiggrin.gif

 

And can I just add that losing my plug tonight was a huge huh.gif moment!!! I mean, I'm only a few days away, but before tonight, it was still kind of abstract to me. Now that I *KNOW* and feel that my body is doing something, it's suddenly like HOLY SHIT! I have a baby coming and SOON! This is really happening!!! This pregnancy has gone by fast, but at the same time, it's been SUCH a long road that being this close is really surreal! Lots of anxiety and fear, hope and excitement... Just plain craziness really!

 

With my older son, I went in for my 40 week checkup, found out I was leaking and was sent to the hospital to be induced. There was no fear or anything, just, "ok, awesome! I'm going to have my baby now!" lol.gif This feels so different because it's been such a crazy journey getting here. I expect to go through a lot of emotional overload these next few days!


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#15 of 29 Old 12-13-2011, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Liz- keep us posted. I am soooo excited for you!!

 

My MIL really drives me crazy. I posted in last months thread that she had agreed to make a stocking for Emeric and then was reniging (sp?) on it. I am so frustrated with her. My husband basically made her do it. I called her last night and said I don't want you to do it if you are forced. Just forget about it. She told me she was already doing it but she really thinks I need to "move on" (her words) and that it "isn't healthy to sit in this" (again her words). I tried to explain to her that lots of blm's "celebrate" their lo's in various ways, a stocking being on of them. She just doesn't get it. She tells me all the time, everyone grieves differently BUT I guess it isn't ok for ME to grieve MY CHILD in the way I see fit. Blech!


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#16 of 29 Old 12-13-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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Thank you all for kind words and dancing veggies! As for timing it´s not so bad. 0-1 I think. However with Isabel I wasn't temping, yes those pre charting naive days of having sex 14 days after a period. Anyway we had a lot of sex, so she was good boy timing. The wierd thing is I knew leo would be a boy. Before he was conceived I went to my hypnobabies special place and saw myself holding Isabel with a little fair haired boy next to us stroking her hair. I just knew I would conceive a boy. Butyet this time I've felt nothing, I didn't have implantation bleeding and cramping like I did withthe other 2. It's just wierd.

 

Christmas is not feeling as bad this year. But then again it feels bad because of that. You know the way I don't want it to not hurt because I feel it's almost forgetting about her. It's tricky. I did have her, I did hold her, she was with us at home for a week or so, but it was so short. I had her around but there wasn't enough time to have her things you know. She was obviously too young to do things and although I took lots of photos I don't feel I have enough, we never got one of all three of us. So we have some memories, but not enough concrete ones. Nothing major happened that first week to have a special Isabel memory or anything.

 

I love that stocking idea, I might see if I've got time to do one for this year. However I also will feel sad to see it fill up, it's nice to honor her memory, but so sad to see a physical reminder of how many years it's been. Shit this stuff is hard isn't it.

 

Liz it sounds like your body is getting so close. It knows what it's meant to do so it's trying to get you ready. It's bound to be such a good induction because you sound so ready.

 

Claire I knew you'd get the hospital thing. Whenever I see NICU on hospital and here those alarms going off it's just like being back. Those stupid alarms all the time as a normal background noise. I think the monitoring might be at a completely separate building in a different part of town so it would be very easy to go there for monitoring. Then I have to decide on the birth. I will organise a visit see how it makes me feel. If I feel fear and dread when I go I won't birth there. That's just the main things that would slow the birth down and not make for another wonderful experience so I wouldn't even risk that. I can't believve you're thinking of having more. How exciting.  Don't worry your body will come round, a few photos of Liz and a newborn and your uterus will just start shouting "I'm ready, come on in, lets get baking". How are Noah and Ryan doing developmentally? They seem basically caught up and always seem so bright on the photos. As much as they keep you on your toes it must be wonderful to be a miracle family. Your story could almost be turned into a sickly sweet happy ending Disney movie, you know the sort that it's such a long shot it has to work out and you wonder how on earth that can be based on a true story.

 

Jill you must send me your address on fb to send you a card. 4th year without her? How does this happen. I don't get it. I sometimes keep thinking she's the same age as Leo because I can't believe how much time has passed.

 

Nicole your mother in law doesn't understand. I dont know how people can understand unless they go through it. It's so nice of her to say everyone should grieve in their own way, obviously unless it's not too much grief. Sheesh how innapropriate. I love that she felt it OK to vocalise her thoughts though, she must be such a caring individual. It is sad that you don't have all your children in your arms. A life that ended before it really  began, it's sad, it shouldn't happen

 

OK a naked baby just ran in the room. He apparantly didn't want to get his pj's on after the bath. I suspect I am needed. Tomorrow he is 2.


Clare briefly mother for 3 weeks to Isabel 25-12-08, Soaking up every precious moment with my little guy Dec-10. My blog link is in my profile.

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#17 of 29 Old 12-13-2011, 03:03 PM
 
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I finally got over here...


jumpers.gifenergy.gifbiggrinbounce.gifjoy.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gif

WOO HOO CLARE!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!


How exciting!!!!! I'm so so so SO happy for you!!!!!!!! 


Liz, soooo close!!!!! I love the last days of pregnancy, I can taste the anticipation! 

About the hospital thing. I was sure that being back at the same hospital I had Amelia at, and was in for the 4 days before she was born, would send me into a panic while in labor/arriving for the cesarean. When I had gone there to visit a sick friend and DH's grandpa it totally sent me on a PTSD trip. But for labor, nothing. But then, I didn't have the NICU experience so I think that's a whole different ball of wax. 


Me.... 24 weeks today!! VIABILITY!!!!! Saw my ob this morning and everything looks great. DH is either stressing about life or is still struggling with the idea of having a girl and getting too attached to her. He won't talk names yet. So in ways this pregnancy is still in the detached PAL phase. I'm feeling good about it though. I don't trust birth or anything like that but I think things will be okay....and if they aren't, well, then they aren't. William, now almost 17 months, is such an amazing kid. Some days I wonder why I'm tempting fate by trying to be greedy and have another baby. I worry that William will be taken away to teach me my lesson. Ahhh, child loss and how it forever fu*ks us up. 




 


Cindy, joyful SAH mama to rainbow1284.gif William & Katherinefly-by-nursing2.gif Forever missing Amelia 7-12-09 angel3.gif  signcirc1.gifsaynovax.giflactivist.gif Ask me about my natural cesarean! 

 

 

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#18 of 29 Old 12-14-2011, 04:43 AM
 
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Just wanted to pop in real quick to let you all know that I'm heading in to l&d for my induction NOW!!!!

 

Wish me luck!!! Any and all good thoughts would be so appreciated! love.gif


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#19 of 29 Old 12-14-2011, 07:59 AM
 
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thinking of you today Liz, can't wait for you to meet your little guy - and bring photos/story back!


mama to ds 9, dd 7, & ds 2
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#20 of 29 Old 12-14-2011, 09:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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whoo hoo Liz!!! Our thoughts are with you.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#21 of 29 Old 12-16-2011, 09:52 AM
 
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HE'S HERE AND HE'S BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND JUST AMAZING!!!!!!! love.gif

 

Because of the pre-e I had a lot of fear about how things would go, if he was going to be cooked enough, etc... but labor & delivery went about as well as I could have hoped for! My blood pressure behaved the whole time and the induction went really smooth. We both tolerated everything just fine. Got to the hospital at 7am, by 8 they had my water broken and on and the pit., and he was born screaming (yay, good lungs!) at 10:52pm after about 20 minutes of pushing! Anyway, I'll write up a full birth story at some point :p Oh yeah, I barely feel like I gave birth at all! Didn't having any tearing and I am not at all sore!! & he's nursing like a champ!

 

Well, here he is! Baby Desmond, 7.7lbs & just about 19 inches. Very respectable size for a 38 week pre-e baby!

375229_1710039449010_1778847935_873660_1849574280_n.jpg

 

It's still hard to wrap my head around the fact that he is really here! And mine!!!

 

 


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#22 of 29 Old 12-16-2011, 10:10 AM
 
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Congrats Liz!!


Cristeen ~ Always remembering our stillheart.gif  warrior ~ Our rainbow1284.gif  is 3, how'd that happen?!?! 

We welcomed another rainbow1284.gifstillheart.gif  warrior in May 2012!! 

2012 Decluttering challenge - 575/2012

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#23 of 29 Old 12-16-2011, 10:50 AM
 
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Liz - he is soooo beautiful, it makes my eyes tear up, Congrats!! Welcome to the world baby Desmond!!

 

Clare - Yippee!!! I loved reading your pg news, I'm so happy for you.

 

I'm on a new page but I know there were other congrats to be offered.

 

A couple of other pregnancies, yeah!! of love rainbow babies

 

Hi Jill, good to see you around.

 

Hi Amy, love the little tree.


D. proud Mom of H. E. M. and T. always remembering Norah (11/07 at 40 wks) and (10/06) see profile
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#24 of 29 Old 12-16-2011, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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congrats liz!!! He is georogous!

 

Is it possible to kiss a baby do death? Hope not bcs I just cant stop kissing saphira the last couple of days. She is mine and she is here and I think I am actually gonna get to keep her:). She is 2 months today so that took long enough but I really really finally feel like things are gonna be ok.

I still have fears: she isn't smiling yet, doesn't track with her eyes, and doesn't respond to noise at all BUT none of those things are life threatening so I am good with that.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#25 of 29 Old 12-16-2011, 03:40 PM
 
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Liz, he's just gorgeous. So glad everything went well!


mama to ds 9, dd 7, & ds 2
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#26 of 29 Old 12-18-2011, 11:42 AM
 
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Nicole I would have previously had a few concerns over having a child who had some hearing issues, however after signing with Leo and realising how easy it's been to learn I realise it wouldn't phase me. And to be honest you sound fairly relaxed. Yeah if it aint life threatening it doesn't matter, you just see if there's likely to be any major differences with her and then get on with it. I think loss does that to us, nothing could be as bad as a loss, so all we expect is a baby with 2 arms, 2 legs and roughly the right number of fingers and toes.

 

Liz Desmond is so cute I just wish I could hold him. It's so annoying to see these newborns and not be able to do anything about it. I love that the pre e hasnt had as big an effect as it could have. You've dealt with loss, a wee thing like pre e as a condition that just needs monitoring is a walk in the park because he was alive, and he was born alive. He was such a good size too, and a nursing champ despite being a touch earlier. So glad it's been quite smooth for you.

 

AFM, hmm well I threw up in the sink before bed the other night. Jordan was in the loo so it's all I had. Naturally it blocked the pipes so we're charging round my parents house at 11pm looking for a plunger! Oh the things we do eh? It's not quite sunk in yet as this is the boring bit when nothing really happens. I think when I'm into the swing of appointments and allt hat jazz it feels more real.


Clare briefly mother for 3 weeks to Isabel 25-12-08, Soaking up every precious moment with my little guy Dec-10. My blog link is in my profile.

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#27 of 29 Old 12-18-2011, 01:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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clare you are so right!!! as long as she has about the right number of arms/legs/digits adn she is alive we are good. We will deal with what comes.

I can't believe the barf clogged the sink, I have done that numerous times; we have a disposal though so just run it through. gross the things we do eh. I am so happy for you!


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#28 of 29 Old 12-20-2011, 10:30 AM
 
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ooh, I'm crashing to say:

 

Congrats, Liz!


Mama to two little ones,

& one in heaven

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#29 of 29 Old 12-27-2011, 07:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hope everyone is doing well with their lo's!

 

The holidays really are so tough for me. Emeric's ornament this year is a big brother one and I really like it a lot. My MIL did make a stocking for him but refused to put his name on it so I will do that later, at least he will have one. I loaded it with candles, bath salts, etc (items to donate to my SHARE group to be put in the comfort boxes). It felt good to do it. I told everyone the theme unfortunately I am the only one that bought stuff for it and that hurt a lot. Had a bad panick attack on Christmas (I think MIL is my trigger). My MIL leaves today so hopefully it will go away. I have had the affects since christmas morning and it makes it so hard to do regualar stuff (can't breath, fast heart, etc.).

I was barphing my guts out on christmas eve (the entire day) so i missed christams eve services and didn't make it to the cemetary to put up luminarias but my dad took them for me. I was sad to miss it as the whole cemetary gets lit up and is so beautiful.

christmaseve (4).JPG

Saphira gave me the best christmas gift ever and smiled at us on christams morning. I AM IN LOVE!!!! It was awesome!


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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