Mothering Forum banner

Expecting Our Rainbow Babies ~ Fall 2014 chat

9K views 69 replies 16 participants last post by  DungeonQueen 
#1 · (Edited)
This is the Fall 2014 pregnancy thread for ALL graduates of the "Hoping, Healing & Conceiving Again" threads, or anyone who has suffered a loss and has found themselves expecting again. Here we can discuss our concerns and problems in the safety and company of other mamas like us. Compare BETA results, our prenatal screens, show off our scans, and in what seems like a lifetime away - our newborn baby pictures.

****If you are a new poster or need changes to your stats, just let me know your EDD IN BOLD, and I'll update periodically.**** Due date calculator with luteal phase length.

We have a FB group for sharing whatever you'd like in a private setting. If you'd like to join, you can find us here.

Expecting...

sweetface - EDD December 29th 2014, expecting baby #1 after 1 loss

lmevans - EDD January 6, 2015, expecting baby #4 after 1 loss

AmBam - EDD March 5, 2015, expecting baby #2 after 4 losses

Wilhelmina - EDD April 15, 2015.

Loveandlight33 - expecting baby #4.

peaceful_mama - expecting baby #5 after 1 loss.

Patience2013 - expecting baby after stillbirth

Sleepymama - EDD June 26, 2015.

MountainMamaGC - EDD July 1, 2015, expecting baby #2 after 7 early losses.

Radiowave - EDD July 6, 2015 after second trimester loss.

Shiloh - Expecting baby #6 after 1 loss.

HenAlexa - Expecting baby #3 after 2 losses

Congratulations!!!
liladancing *Carlisle Lucas Riede* January 1, 2015
NSmomtobe *James Alexander* December 12, 2014
maof1 *Robert Sage* December 8, 2014
Harmony96 *Gabriel* November 15, 2014
edubluv *Calista* October 11, 2014
monkeyscience *girl* October 6, 2014
taichimom *boy* August 11, 2014
Planegreen *Michael* March 10, 2014
Holliet *Phoebe* March 1, 2014
pattimomma *Simon* Feb 23, 2014
Serenyd *Cole* Feb 2014
Jilidez * Thea * Dec 24 2013

In our thoughts...
t2009
M Anna
RRMum
mamacatsbaby
 
See less See more
#3 ·
Doing all right. Still sorta getting back to normal after our big earth quake here. Our house is still yellow tagged. Not sure if the landlord has any plans to fix the structural problems. But at least she fixed the broken and leaking pipes.
 
#6 ·
Hello everyone ... I'm approaching fast the time in my pregnancy when my last baby ... passed (12+2) I've just entered the 11th week.

I find myself more and more often nearly paralysed by fear, coming close to panicking when I come to think of it ... I'm trying not to think about it, but it's hard.

I still haven't seen the baby as I have panic fear of ultrasounds now ... because that is how I found out about my missed miscarriage. I've already chickened out of one and now I might be chickening out of another one ... it's scheduled for October 7th (nuchal translucency). I've asked my husband to come, in case (just thinking this way is making me nauseous).

This pregnancy has been super stressful for me so far. As hard as I try not to stress, not to worry and all that jazz, it's pretty much impossible ... it's not constant, but it's a lot. I do hope that all of this goes away by the second trimester and I'll be able to relax and actually enjoy this pregnancy - this blessing that it is.

I hope I'm not bringing any of you down, but I don't know where else to talk about it and seek help. I keep mentioning my loss in my due date thread, but I don't want to go overboard - not all of those ladies experienced loss and I don't want to 'bug' them with it.

I hope everyone else is doing well!
 
#67 ·
Hello everyone ... I'm approaching fast the time in my pregnancy when my last baby ... passed (12+2) I've just entered the 11th week.

I find myself more and more often nearly paralysed by fear, coming close to panicking when I come to think of it ... I'm trying not to think about it, but it's hard.

I still haven't seen the baby as I have panic fear of ultrasounds now ... because that is how I found out about my missed miscarriage. I've already chickened out of one and now I might be chickening out of another one ... it's scheduled for October 7th (nuchal translucency). I've asked my husband to come, in case (just thinking this way is making me nauseous).

This pregnancy has been super stressful for me so far. As hard as I try not to stress, not to worry and all that jazz, it's pretty much impossible ... it's not constant, but it's a lot. I do hope that all of this goes away by the second trimester and I'll be able to relax and actually enjoy this pregnancy - this blessing that it is.

I hope I'm not bringing any of you down, but I don't know where else to talk about it and seek help. I keep mentioning my loss in my due date thread, but I don't want to go overboard - not all of those ladies experienced loss and I don't want to 'bug' them with it.

I hope everyone else is doing well!
Man do I understand how you feel about u/s. I am seriously having major anxiety the last 2 days because my dh is suggesting we schedule one in the next few weeks. I feel like I can't go to the 2 local hospitals because that is where we found out about our last 2 babies. *sigh* So much love to you!
 
#7 ·
Hi Wilhelmina,

I think everyone gets super nervous as they approach the time in their pregnancy when they experienced their loss. Once you make it past that point, I hope you can relax at least a little. While I have mixed feelings about ultrasounds myself, to me the benefit of knowing whether or not baby is still alive definitely outweighs the fear of getting bad news. On the other hand, I didn't want my first ultrasound to occur before 8 weeks because with my second loss the baby stopped developing between 7 and 8 weeks, so I didn't want to risk seeing a healthy baby at 6 or 7 weeks only to find out later that it was no longer healthy. It sounds like you will be past 12 weeks when you do go in for your first ultrasound (?) and I hope it goes well. I always have DH come to u/s appointments with me because I think it is nice for him to see the baby too. He doesn't come to the regular appointments to hear the heartbeat, but I think that the ultrasound helps him see the baby as real.
 
#8 ·
Hi

I'm Melanie, pregnant again and not telling anyone, baby #5 after one loss October, 2013. That makes this pregnancy 6. Last time, I was 14 and 5 days when I went in and we found no heartbeat, baby had passed about a week earlier. I had a D&C the next Tuesday, the longest 4 day wait of my life.

So far, this time we know my progesterone is low like it was with my two little boys. And my thyroid has been being treated for a year since that was found in my last pregnancy. Ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days showed one healthy baby, with a 155 heartbeat, good HCG bloodwork, and I have a fibroid also. Which they insist has nothing to do with my previous d&c and will not affect this pregnancy...IDK, i certainly didn't have fibroids before....

I don't know when I will lose this fear and be ready to tell my kids...I was one appointment away from the big anatomy scan last time...
 
#9 ·
I am also trying not to be nervous this weekend because Friday I had some mucousy discharge with a little bit of brownish blood...i saw a perfect looking baby on Tuesday, I have pictures. Nothing since. Also, progesterone was lower on the test despite supplementing for a week. HCG again Monday. I also am currently on a lower dose of progesterone than I ever remember taking before. The ONLY symptom I had of my loss was losing my mucus plug, so yeah.

The nurse said it could still just be discharge from the ultrasound and brown blood means old, so that's good...
 
#10 ·
Wilhelmina - I know what you mean about feeling like a downer in your DDC. I definitely felt that way in the beginning, when the worry about loss was still strong for me. In my case, I counted the minutes until I could have my first ultrasound, because I knew the chance of loss after seeing a heartbeat was much smaller, and I was pretty sure things went wrong with the previous miscarriage early on, since I never got nauseated, and there was very little tissue when I miscarried at 8 weeks. In your case, where you had a good ultrasound and then a bad one (if I'm remembering right), yeah, I would probably not want one x either. I also don't do ultrasounds without my husband.
 
#11 ·
Wilhelmina I am sorry you are going through all of that. Hopefully when you finally feel up for an ultrasound everything is fine. I bet it will be. I hope for the best. Feel better.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my stillborn daughter Madara's birth. If you count it as a birth. I have been saying it is. My husband and I will be going to her grave and leaving flowers in the morning. We special ordered a diamond shaped flat arrangement to place on her grave. It will be rainbow colors. I can't believe she would be a year now. I miss her so much. We pray that god takes care of her. I wish she was here. I wish she was born alive. I love my sweet little Madara Inez.
 
#13 ·
Hi mamas,

I'm cautiously joining you over here in pregnancy land. I just got a BFP yesterday. I'm 4 weeks, 3 days along, according to LMP, with a due date of June 1, 2015. Baby will certainly come before that though, as I have to have a planned c-section due to a prior surgery on my cervix. So we are hoping for a mid-May baby!

My first son was born at 32.5 weeks via emergency c-section. He's a happy and healthy 4 and a half year old now. We lost a set of twins last year, they were born at 23 weeks and passed away the same day. Their first birthday is next month and I'm very very thankful to be pregnant again before that milestone comes around. This past cycle was our last chance to try until next spring for various reasons, so I'm grateful for the timing and cautiously hopeful that this baby will stick and grow to full term!

I know that I will have a lot of anxiety to deal with throughout this pregnancy, and I'm happy to know that you all won't think I'm too crazy!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: liladancing
#14 ·
No more spotting, progesterone and HCG are up! I'm not sure if I will feel completely OK until the 20 wk US though, considering I went to a normal appointment at 14 weeks 5 days and found no heartbeat...
 
#15 ·
Had my first really emotional miscarriage moment in a long time on Sunday night. I was trying to sleep, but couldn't, and for some reason my mind wandered to my last "labor" experience, which was when I miscarried at 8 weeks a year ago. I laid there and relived what I remembered of the cramping and delivering the placenta, and burying it in my mom's yard a few days later, next to my wedding flowers and her Mother's Day tree. I had kind of forgotten about that part. I cried then, and I'm crying now, thinking about it again. I've been able to get away from thinking about my miscarriage for quite awhile now, but a few things lately have made me remember. Ironically, I didn't actually think of it on the "anniversary" of the miscarriage, though I thought about it in the time leading up. But suddenly there's multiple people around me due next April - my due date with that baby was April 28. I can't hear about an April due date without thinking of the April baby I'll never have. Similarly, there are a couple of babies, one of whom I see frequently, who were born this April. Every time I'm reminded of their age, I think... I should have one that age. The most random one was going to book club last week and seeing that the host had a board for marking her daughters' growth that looked very similar to the one I was working on the night before I miscarried. I thought I was spotting that day because my cervix had been irritated by DTD with my husband, and I thought my back ached from leaning over working on our growth board. It was not till the next day I would realize that was the beginning of the cramps and contractions and bleeding that would become a miscarriage.

I know that many people have the feeling that a miscarried baby has "come back" to them in a subsequent pregnancy. I can't really say that I feel either way about it with this baby. I'm jealous, in a way, of those who have felt that with such certainty. I'm glad to be pregnant again, and so very close to meeting this baby. Of course, as the stillbirth mamas on here know, making it to labor is no guarantee. But really, there is never a guarantee - moms can and do lose their children at any point from conception until their own death. Most days I don't dwell on that, but some days I just have to give my son an extra hug before his nap, just in case. Anyway, ready for this baby to come out so I can see her and meet her and spend far too much time checking to see that she's still breathing!
 
#16 ·
monkeyscience I totally get that thing about checking for breathing. I do that a lot ever since my loss with my loved ones and dogs. It is sad and negative that there are no guarantees about life and death. Not even for our little ones. But that is true. I really hope this pregnancy is treating you well and your girl is born healthy.
 
#17 ·
Hello, I used to be a part of a group on here last year, but not sure if it was this group. I am back.

Let me give you a little history about me. Some of you might recognize my screen name. I was pregnant last year & was due, Nov. 2013. Labor came & was a prodromal labor. Once my water broke, I went into active labor & then stalled out at 32hrs (had a MW & OBGYN). I decided to head to the hospital & on the way, Coraline Jean passed away. It's been a rough long 10 months, but here I am, pregnant 14 weeks & planning my next birth. There are so many emotions running through my head & just trying to get through things one day at a time.

I look forward to getting to know you & hopefully, I can see some familiar faces. Love & hugs.
 
#19 ·
Congratulations, monkeyscience!

Welcome, Patience2013! I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'll try to update the first post. As for me, everything is going fine. I did have a trip to the Early Assessment Unit earlier this week because of excessive Braxton Hicks contractions, decreased fetal movement, and traces of blood (not spotting) in my underwear, but everything was fine. Lots of movement today and no contractions.
 
#20 ·
Well here I am again. But I don't think I'll be here for long. I am pregnant again - sort of. BFP very early - 7 dpo - little over a week ago. Super dark test on 7dpo and there is no chance it was later than that - I had a saline sonogram on CD 10 and hadn't ovulated, we didn't have sex until that night, and then I ovulated either overnight or CD 11 (I am charting). Had betas done - 274 at 10dpo (!!!! holy crap!!!!) but then only 363 at 12dpo and 437 at 14dpo. I got a 2-3 weeks on those weeks estimator tests at 9dpo so I knew that 10dpo beta was going to be high.

Dr is worried about ectopic and I have an ultrasound tomorrow. I don't have any ectopic symptoms and definitely FEEL REALLY pregnant so I don't think it's a chemical. Had a tiny amount of spotting 9-10dpo, then it stopped. But something weird is going on. EDD is 6/26 if it sticks around. It sounds weird but my biggest hope right now is a vanishing twin and the one left is still growing. I can't think of any other explanation for such a high beta so early and then not rising much. That or ectopic :( I've never ever had betas so high before.
 
#22 ·
I really hate it when that happens, liladancing! You put so much time and emotion into something and then it is gone!

Welcome back, Sleepymama! I hope you are here to stay this time! I do not know what to make of your betas. Any answers yet?

AFM, I have been quiet because I am dealing with weird stuff at work and I am waiting for the issue to get resolved. For some reason, this whole situation has me feeling untalkative. Well, technically, I'm not allowed to share it anyway, so even if I did feel like talking, I am unable, but it makes me not want to talk about anything else either. However, if all goes well, I only have one month left (5 weeks) before I go on maternity leave!
 
  • Like
Reactions: liladancing
#23 ·
Hello. I have had 7 early losses, all before 4 weeks 3 days, since having my daughter well over 6 years ago. I have signed up for adoption and am temporarily fostering a 5 month old baby who is due to join his kin in the next month or so. And in all this chaos I have become pregnant. Big deal I thought, when I saw the test because I knew the red tide would come in just a couple days, like all the others before it. I had dull aches and cramps and I kept expecting it to end. I spotted the day my period was due and I thought it had arrived. Well I know its not much but I am 4 weeks 6 days today (20 DPO) I still get the odd ache in my uterus for an hour or so, my boobs are full and sore, and I am pretty sleepy. I have had 3 positive tests and I am going to the doctor on the 4th. So here is hoping its for real this time. I really hope my body isnt trolling me. PS My DD is July 1st.
 
#24 ·
Mountainmamma do you know the reason for your previous miscarriages? It seems like doctors should be able to do something for you. Medacine or something. My mom had to take progesterone. A high risk doc thought about putting me on an anti clotting drug. Depending on how my test results came back. I hope there is something out there for you. And I really hope your baby makes it.
 
#25 ·
Its autoimmune related. There is not too much they can do about it. I have been on a strong immune suppressing drug for about 3 years now, and I think maybe my immune system is finally calm enough to let this happen. I am now 21 DPO and this is the farthest I have ever made it since my daughter, so yay me.
 
#26 ·
Welcome MountainMama! I hope you are here to stay.

I had a good doctor appointment today. Did not gain wait since my last appointment. Measuring perfectly for 33 weeks. Good heart rate (she didn't say what it was). I've been feeling lots of movement lately and it's mostly on the sides, so we think the baby is transverse again (he seemed to be head down last appointment). I hope he turns.
 
  • Like
Reactions: liladancing
#27 ·
Hi, I just received my bfp yesterday. It was a blood test and my beta was 495.
I am now 14 days past 5 day single embryo transfer. My EDD is July 6. There is no July due date club yet!
I lost my son, Nico, to PPROM and Incompetent Cervix at 19 weeks gestation a year and a half ago. I had a transabdominal cerclage placed on my cervix 6 months later, and then after ttc for a year, started working with a fertility clinic. This was my first IVF and first transfer, and I am so happy that it worked, but also feeling just generally nervous.
I will have to have a c-section because of the cerclage, but I am wondering about the possibility of going into labor first. I am going to make an appointment on Monday with a group of midwives who practice at a nearby hospital, and also work with a surgeon. I am hoping to get the best of both worlds.
One thing that is contributing to my anxiety, I believe, is the way the clinic is treating the pregnancy. They told me that they oversee the pregnancy for most of the first trimester, I need to find out exactly how long. So, I am on progesterone and estrogen supplements (which make me spacey and tired), and am supposed to go in for several ultrasounds in the next few weeks. Since I have no history of low progesterone or early miscarriages, and have had no bleeding, I don't understand the supplements. Is my pregnancy considered different, less secure somehow, than a "natural" one? All of this makes it feel more precarious. I hate doing things that I don't understand!
 
  • Like
Reactions: liladancing
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top