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#1 of 77 Old 08-26-2005, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there,
I am awaiting a miscarriage right now. We found out this past Wednesday at 7 weeks that the baby had stopped developing. I feel deflated. But I am also hopeful.

I would love to hear stories about women who have had children after suffering a miscarriage. Would you share your story?

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#2 of 77 Old 08-28-2005, 12:19 PM
 
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Lack of HB was discovered at 16 wks -it was my first pgcy ever.
"Fetal demise" they called it.
I delivered that son, and exactly one month later submitted to a D&C due to retained tissue causing severe and spontaneous bleeding episodes.
That was October 2002.
I took a HPT and saw the terrifying, yet thrilling BFP early December, and my DS, who is now 2YO was born exactly on his EDD. Perfect child, amazing natural delivery...

and today I am 40.5 weeks pregnant...waiting for my next living child to join our family.



There is hope.
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#3 of 77 Old 08-28-2005, 04:51 PM
 
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Just subbing...
I had my second loss this weekend and I so desperately want to know some positive uplifting success stories...
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#4 of 77 Old 08-28-2005, 05:57 PM
 
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Well I was nearly 40 and single the year before had a dream I would have a child who told me her name and that she wanted me to be her mother. I told her to send the father, so she did, and we got engaged and got pregnant right away which we had not planned but were happy about, had a nasty m/c at 14 weeks so we decided to wait until we were married and settled, next thing is a couple of months later I started feeling really nauseous again, and thought I had the flu, but no was pg (dh is mr fertility trust me this was both times with birthcontrol) then thought it was twins, had spotting, had morning sickness for 9 months, it was not twins, but had a fibroid, so my midwife would not deliver and really to this day thinks I should have had a hospital birth. Anyhow 2 weeks late I had a natural birth in a birthing center (I just felt I was too high risk for a home birth but did not want to go to the hospital but it was close if needed). Anyhow she was amazingly alert and healthy and was the baby in my dream.

I hope this is what you want to hear, I did go through a lot and it was worth every moment of pain and loss, so please don't give up and your dream will come too. She is the only child for me (DH has five) but was worth the long wait.

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#5 of 77 Old 08-29-2005, 09:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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HappiestMomma. I remember you from the April group too. We'll get through this. I'm so sorry.

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Originally Posted by happiestmomma
Just subbing...
I had my second loss this weekend and I so desperately want to know some positive uplifting success stories...

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#6 of 77 Old 08-29-2005, 09:38 AM
 
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Thank you, *bejewled*, maybe we'll be seeing each other on the June or July board soon.
PM me if you need anything...and we WILL get through this.
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#7 of 77 Old 08-30-2005, 11:10 AM
 
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I am so sorry. I know how devastating it is. My story isn't long, but it is hopeful. I had a miscarriage in September 2003. I was crushed and no one could figure out a reason, of course. Exactly one year and three days later, I gave birth to a son who is currently (along with dh) one of the lights of my life.
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#8 of 77 Old 08-30-2005, 11:31 AM
 
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I thought I would share my story, too.

We got pregnant in January of 2002. In March, I had an u/s because the midwives wanted to have a look at my uterus, I'd been told it was bicornate (sp?). They told me that my baby had died. I was 10 1/2 weeks, and the baby's gestational age was 10 weeks. I was devastated. I didn't think I could do it again. I totally lacked confidence in my body to do this baby growing thing. It was horrible.

After much testing, they discovered my uterus was septated. I had surgery in October to correct it, and in November got pregnant with dd and delivered a healthy baby girl in August of 2003! I never thought it would happen for me, but now I have a smart, funny, beautiful 2 year old. And I'm due to have #2 in April 2006. Of course, the 10 week mark is always the most stressful for me. I'm at 8 weeks now.

I know this is such a difficult time for those of you experiencing a miscarriage. I hope my story wasn't too drawn out. I found the book "Miscarriage: Women sharing from the heart" by Marie Allen and Shelly Marks to be incredibly helpful to me after our loss.

Take time to grieve. DH wanted to rush me, to get things back to normal, but it took me a LONG time.
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#9 of 77 Old 08-30-2005, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Your stories are so beautiful and *hopeful*. It is so hard sometimes to see past now.

You have inspired me. Thank you.

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#10 of 77 Old 08-30-2005, 02:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *bejeweled*
Your stories are so beautiful and *hopeful*. It is so hard sometimes to see past now.

You have inspired me. Thank you.
I really hope it helped, I was feeling a little conflicted as did not want to add to your pain, but I know when I was in that dark place it would have helped to see there is hope.

Definitely take the time you need to grieve and take the time to heal on every level, its an emotional rollercoaster and the hormones do not help.

I hope you all look back at this thread with your own happy endings in the not so far distant future.

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#11 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 04:33 PM
 
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*bejeweled*, happiestmomma ... it's taken me a while, but i'm here with you too. Are you still hanging around here?

How are you doing now???

celeste terra, single wohm to twin toddler boys max and shoghi. bamboo village press
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#12 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Celeste. Yes, I'm here. How are u?

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#13 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I forgot to answer your question ----I'm doing good. I've decided that I'm going to keep at this as long as it takes. And I am hopeful that God's plan includes a little baby for me. I'm so glad to see u here.

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#14 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 05:54 PM
 
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Hey Faith, glad to see that I've got you here... I mean, I'm not happy that you're *here*... but you know what I mean!

I'll tell you, this has not been as torturous as I'd expected. I was hit SO hard when I had the ectopic last year - every day that pregnancy continued I felt like I was dying. It also took so long and involved a level of physical pain that I had never even imagined, and I have had 16 fractures in my life!!! This somehow is easier for me to swallow.

The hardest thing is dealing with people's comments, and their inevitable stories of "so-and-so who had x number of miscarriages between their 2nd and third child" or whatever. It's like they're telling me that this is how I have to earn my right to be a mother. I know they're trying to be helpful, but it kills me. And our house is full of baskets of flowers that people have kindly sent - but they're reminding me of the demise of Dumpling every time I look at them. Somehow, when I read first-hand accounts in here, they make me hopeful, but hearing it on the phone just stings.

Well, I gotta run... catch you later!

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#15 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 08:21 PM
 
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Ohhhhhhhhh, Faith...I was really hoping not to see anyone else from April in here...but I'm sending you many thoughts and prayers. I hope you are feeling well and getting through this as best you can. Please let me know how I can help to support you as you work through this; I know how tough it is.
To answer your question, I'm feeling better than I expected, but still very saddened to have to have gone through this again. I'm fully ready to start trying again; and I was told that there really isn't anything wrong with me...but that most women have two or three mc's and I just happened to get them both in a row. It totally sucks, but makes me more hopeful and less afraid that I'm "broken" somehow.
Hang in there, and let me know if you need a shoulder...
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#16 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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I'm so sorry that's you're experiencing this. I have had 3 mc's and I remember feeling empty and like my body had failed me. You're in my thought and prayers and I hope the coming months bring you healing and many blessing. I have gone on to have children between my mc's. It was scary...I won't lie, because as each day brought me closer to the time I had lost the others I would hold my breath. I just turned it over to a higher being and tried to know that if it was meant to be I would bring home a sweet baby. I now have 4 children.

Sabrina , mom to 4 fab kids!

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#17 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 11:07 PM
 
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I, too, was in the April DD club. I never posted more than my due date. I don't know how to explain it, but I was very hesitant to post anything because I think I knew that something wasn't right even though I'd never had a mc. I told myself that I would jump in after my first dr apt. Well, I spotted the next day and mc'd 2 days later.

I want to try again very soon, but like most of you, I'm scared. I don't have much to offer, but I wanted to let you know I have the same concerns and I do understand.
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#18 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow. You all bring me so much strength. Celeste, I totally understand how it hurts so much more to hear it over the phone.

I am so grateful to have you all here---to hear the struggles---all that we women have overcome to be where we are. So often we see a woman with many children and we think of how lucky she is. Little do we know how much she may have gone through to get there. Sabrina, thank you for sharing your story. Who would have known that miscarriage happens so often. I'm gonna keep at it.

True faith is believing in things unseen. Well, I see myself with a beautiful family with many healthy children.

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#19 of 77 Old 09-12-2005, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank u happiestmomma. I really appreciate your kindness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by happiestmomma
Ohhhhhhhhh, Faith...I was really hoping not to see anyone else from April in here...but I'm sending you many thoughts and prayers. I hope you are feeling well and getting through this as best you can. Please let me know how I can help to support you as you work through this; I know how tough it is.
To answer your question, I'm feeling better than I expected, but still very saddened to have to have gone through this again. I'm fully ready to start trying again; and I was told that there really isn't anything wrong with me...but that most women have two or three mc's and I just happened to get them both in a row. It totally sucks, but makes me more hopeful and less afraid that I'm "broken" somehow.
Hang in there, and let me know if you need a shoulder...

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#20 of 77 Old 09-15-2005, 12:31 PM
 
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I was also in the April due date club ... *sigh*

It's inspiring to hear so many wonderful stories from you ladies I hope to be joining another due date club as soon as I can.
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#21 of 77 Old 09-16-2005, 01:02 AM
 
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#22 of 77 Old 09-16-2005, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#23 of 77 Old 09-16-2005, 05:01 PM
 
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disco, one from me too...

as for me... i have to say, this week was harder than last. strange how things go. hope the rest of our former april gals are doing well. miss you all!

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#24 of 77 Old 09-17-2005, 12:45 PM
 
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Hugs to all...I'm really glad to see that we'll be able to support each other through this.
I'm so sorry for all the losses...how's everyone doing this week?
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#25 of 77 Old 09-19-2005, 04:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Honestly, I am a hormonal wreck. Add this to the fact that my husband is sick and I feel so overtouched, overtaxed and overworked. I've been trying to keep my temper in check, but find that I can explode over any little thing. I need some time to m y s e l f !

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#26 of 77 Old 09-19-2005, 05:37 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss... it is soooooo hard! I'll share my stories as well...

I had 3 miscarriages, one at 6 weeks, one at 13 weeks, one at 9 weeks and then had my daughter.

The first two mc's were several years apart. My last miscarriage happened on 12/3/02 and by 3/4/03 I had another BFP. I was TERRIFIED!! I just knew that I would never successfully carry a baby... I was destined to never have a baby... I spent the 1st trimester just waiting for the inevitable, when that passed, I spent my second trimester terrified she wouldn't develop right, etc. I had a perfectly healthy, beautiful, baby girl... with absolutely nothing wrong with her.

Many, many, many women have miscarriages and go on to give birth. Don't give up hope

: Karen, wife to my : Mad Scientist and mama to :Emma (10-21-03).
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#27 of 77 Old 09-19-2005, 04:10 PM
 
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today my long-time friend of 17 years called me today at work from Australia to tell me that his wife had given birth to their squeaky new baby girl on the 17th. thankfully he'd reached dh first who told him that we'd lost our baby so i didn't have to tell him. it was the most difficult call for both of us, since we each wanted to celebrate or grieve for the other.

in the time before this pregnancy, his dw lost 2 babes to m/c's. since his life and mine seem to be intertwined by mysterious spiritual threads (our life events have run parallel to one another's since we met), i figure that this baby is tangible hope for me to cling to for our own next pregnancy.

but that doesn't make thinking about their new joy any easier for me. i sent a quilt i'd made for their baby over with dh when he went to china (this friend actually lives in china - he's american and his wife is an aussie) and it really tore me up when he said they'd be wrapping Sophie in it as soon as she gets home. while making that quilt, i shifted: it was going to be for our baby, but i decided to give it to them instead.

i am still spotting off and on, wondering (now 2 weeks post d&e) *when* i am ever going to o again, nevermind when i'll get my period next... sorry. i'm just feeling overwhelmed and a little sorry for myself today.

on a more posititve note, i bought a nice piece of rose quartz (for fertility) this weekend while we were away camping. i have wanted one for so long, and it seems appropriate somehow at this moment that i have finally gotten one for myself. i also decided the week of our loss to sign up for evening writing and watercolor classes this semester, to give me something else to focus on. though they don't start until next month, i am excited.

k, that's it for now... hope y'all are doing well.

celeste terra, single wohm to twin toddler boys max and shoghi. bamboo village press
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#28 of 77 Old 09-19-2005, 07:22 PM
 
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I hear you ladies on the emotional wreck bit...I am so bitchy sometimes I even hate myself. I just want to EXPLODE!! When the people around you don't understand why it's completely justifiable for you to be acting the way you are...it makes it even worse!!
I heard from my midwife today and my betas are back down to below 2...so I don't have to go back for any more blood draws...WOO HOO!!! I'm still told to wait until after my first cycle to try again...but with the copious egg white CM I'm having these last two days, it's really tempting to go ahead and try again...help me ladies!!!
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#29 of 77 Old 09-19-2005, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ha Ha. I'm no help there. Once I saw that egg white CM, it was ON! :LOL The CM lasted for a long while too. Is that to be expected after a mc?



Quote:
Originally Posted by happiestmomma
I hear you ladies on the emotional wreck bit...I am so bitchy sometimes I even hate myself. I just want to EXPLODE!! When the people around you don't understand why it's completely justifiable for you to be acting the way you are...it makes it even worse!!
I heard from my midwife today and my betas are back down to below 2...so I don't have to go back for any more blood draws...WOO HOO!!! I'm still told to wait until after my first cycle to try again...but with the copious egg white CM I'm having these last two days, it's really tempting to go ahead and try again...help me ladies!!!

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#30 of 77 Old 09-19-2005, 10:29 PM
 
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Faith, I can't remember from my 1st mc...but this time it seems I'm only having the normal couple of days of EWCM. Bum-mer! Ok, ok, I'm not saying we're NOT having a go at it...just that I'm not saying we're trying...DH went to the post-mc appointment with me and heard we're not supposed to get pregnant right away, so he's sticking to orders. Me, I'm seeing gray!

By the way, Faith, did you ever find an OB/GYN in the NOVA area? (A little off topic, but I was just curious)
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