TTC after loss - December support thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to December, I imagine this is going to be a hard month with all the holidays coming up.
If anyone wants to join or needs thier name changed let me know

looking forward to seeing a bunch of



TTC MEMBERS:

Jeana (JBaxter) - Logan 11/91, Connor 10/94, Nathan 11/03m, m/c 7/90(15wks) & 6/05 (8wks5d)

Jessica (JLav) - ds Baz (10/03), and two angels (12/04) and (5/05)

Catherine (race kelly) - Collin (6yrs), Jack(4yrs), and Thomas (19 months). And my little angel Therese 3/23 she got her wings, I was 15 weeks pregnant.

Sandy (Ben's Mommy) - Benjamin Taylor 7/5/05-7/7/05

Nicole (theboysmama) - Walker 5/27/02, Caden 4/17/04, and angel Sam m/c 9/8/05

LolaEight - dd 11-22-01, ds 2-6-04, and my angel 6-05

Liz (mama4gals) - four girls, ages 17, 13, 10, 3, also mama to 4 angels

Cristina (Debstmomy) - Amber 11, Austin 7, Alexa Rose Bornstill (42 wks) 6/10/05

Erika (Naughty Dingo) - mama to 2, m/c 10/05

Prue (Em's Mummy) - Emily Jade Born Still 26/07/05 (38 weeks)

Cathy (KYCat) - Gus 7/00, Max 12/02 and angel Finnegan Albert, Finn 7/28/05

Sarah (sarah9774) - Luke Harrison Garrett BS @ 40 weeks 2/10/05

Talitha (samuelsmommy+3) SAHM Jenna (4), Abigal (2), Samuel (1), m/c (13 weeks)

Patti (Patti Ann) - Kesly 8, Connor 5, Fiona 3, Griffin Patrick 9/24/05

Deb (dj tex)

Chris (zion ) - 20wk angel Sadie Elizabeth 11/24/05

Jen - (paisley) - miscarriage on 11/16

Mandi (bertrandsgirl) - I miscarried 12/19 (7 weeks)

Christina (MamaJava) - m/c (early October, at 6 weeks)

Jessica (mimi!) - m/c : 08/05; 12/05

Shanna4000 - MC at 6 weeks

Lisa (mamaov4) - 5 miscarriages


December BFP'S

Natasha (Mimimunklemama) - mama to Issi 07/27/02, Griffin 08/20/04, angel 09/22/05

Gabry - ds 8/21/03, m/c's 6/05 (9w) and 10/05 (8w)

Tara (taradt) - Cailyn (3yrs) and 3 angels (12/03 found at 16 weeks, 09/04 26 weeks and 06/05 found at 11 weeks)
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#2 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 02:26 PM
 
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Can I join?

I've been pregnant since September (am just starting my 12th week) but have been unable to even admit it out loud.

I'm just a huge chicken, but am trying to enjoy this, as most likely it will be my last. I am this mess of being so happy, so hopeful, and then the other half is so scared and so resigned.

I've had three losses (9/93, 1/98, and 10/03), all between five and six weeks. I have a ds (6) and a dd (5).
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#3 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 02:43 PM
 
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hello Ladies!

Whew! Someone mentioned that when we miss a couple of days so much happens!! I was visiting my inlaws for a few days while DH was away in Ontario for a few days, and didn't get on the computer as much as I do at home.

taradt--Thanks for doing the list and adding me there!

katana-- I am pretty new too, but from my experience of this group, I say Welcome!! This for me has been a safe place to speak my experience and also to hear the experiences of other women and to see that I am not as irrational as I thought: so many of us have the same kinds of feelings no matter when we lost our children. There are a few of us who are pregnant, and I have felt welcome from the beginning

To all the women who are ttc, I honour you! When I was ttc, I couldn't stand the thought of interacting with someone who was pregnant. I had two women in my immediate daily environment who were pregnant, and I felt grief daily. I don't know what you are feeling, but I know it would take a lot for me to welcome someone who was pregnant. thank you very much for helping me feel welcome. It means a lot to me.

prue--the school schedule you mentioned sounds a lot like the one I was familiar with when I was living in Fiji for a short while. Are you in that area of the south?

Sorry, I 'm not doing more individual messages here, but sending you all warm thoughts on what is here a cold day!

Mama to bikenew.gifBoots (April 2006) and Bolt.gifPebbles (November 2008).Wife to :treehugger.gif and mama to angel3.gifHeather, October 2003

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#4 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 03:04 PM
 
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I am still here. But sick. Strep Throat I think. Going to the doc today. I can not even talk. Body aches to type! I will be back soon! Thanks for starting the dec thread.

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#5 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 05:00 PM
 
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I have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday...I'll be on CD26, about 6 days before AF is due. Is there anything I should be worried about with that if I was pregnant? My doctor just wants to take a peek and see if there is anything to be concerned about, like cysts. Would it be better to wait until AF is gone? Any advice or experience would be great!
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#6 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 05:08 PM
 
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Welcome Katana!

Cristina, I hope you feel better soon. Happy belated Anniversary!

Thanks for starting the thread Tara.

mirandahope, how are you feeling?

Sandy, thank you for sharing your plans for Ben's headstone. It sounds just beautiful!

Prue, I am thinking of you.

Coralsmom, how are you? I think we have the same edd. July 31?

Jenn, wow! 9 weeks! grow baby, grow!

Erika, I love what you said about your body. I needed to hear that. I feel so betrayed by my body at times and pretty hopeless. Thank you for helping me see the beauty.

Gabry, you have been on mind alot the last few days.

Jessica, I have no advice but wanted to wish you well!

I am well. 5 weeks 3 days and praying for a healthy baby. I feel really good about this pregnancy. I believe that this baby will be born this Summer healthy and strong. I haven't joined the July Due Date Thread yet. We haven't told anybody irl. I so appreciate being welcome here. You are all amazing women.

I don't really know how to explain it but I feel like I want to keep this baby from the world right now. I feel like he/she needs time to grow in Peace and Love and, well, I don't have words to express how I am feeling.

Much love to all!

teapot2.GIF jog.gif

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#7 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 08:12 PM
 
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Hello ladies I'm on day 24 of my cycle. I dont think I o'd this month but we will see AF should show in 5 days. :

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#8 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 08:52 PM
 
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I would also like to join. I am 12 wks pg and petrified (I m/c in June). Good luck to all of you ttc mamas, and congrats to the pg mams.



Mommy to Meara (6/21/02), Raina (6/10/04), m/c (6/8/05 at 10 wks), and Baby Lovebug edd 6/16/06

Lisa, mom to M : 6/02, R : 6/04, m/c 6/8/05, L 6/06, and E 8/07
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#9 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 09:36 PM
 
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Welcome to all of the new pg mamas!!! I am so glad that this is working as a joint thread. It is great to hear of all the success stories. It gives me hope.

I have been spotting a little bit today on cycle day 15. 5 dpo according to ff but I have not had any cm just dry, dry, dry. So I am not sure if I o'd. I have never spotted before accept just after af and that weird little bit after my m/c. But usually my I get af full blown, lasts 3 days then spot a day or two w/ noting in-between. Any thoughts as to what this spotting means? There's a link to my chart in the sig line. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Dh and I had a long talk last night. He feels that he is not done grieving yet and wants to wait to ttc. I am so frustrated and very upset I guess the best thing that I can do is just bugger off and relax and maybe he will change his mind soon. Who knows my cycle is so weird right now maybe I will o, not know it, and :

I am so glad all of you mamas are here. Today it is has been 12 wks since my m/c and having you ladies to talk to has been sooooo awesome.

I hope to see some bfp's soon.

nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#10 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 10:09 PM
 
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Hey Ladies,
Just subscribing here! Have a lovely day.

Mom to 6 with #7 on the way Sept 2014
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#11 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 10:16 PM
 
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JLav--not sure what exactly you're concerned about with the timing of the ultrasound. I have two guesses at the moment
1) is that it is the fact that you expect your period (all of my ultrasounds with my last pregnancy I was bleeding and they could tell stuff that was going on in the uterus). 2) concern for the babe because it is early in the pregnancy (I'm one of the people who thinks that ultrasounds are useful and in moderation a good tool. However, there is a discussion somewhere around this thread...about ultrasounds and some women have strong opinions both ways, and some have posted links to articles if you wanted some more opinions)
If I didn't or no one else hit what you were asking for, I encourage you to ask again. Hope that helps!

Mama to bikenew.gifBoots (April 2006) and Bolt.gifPebbles (November 2008).Wife to :treehugger.gif and mama to angel3.gifHeather, October 2003

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#12 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 10:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theboysmama
:

Dh and I had a long talk last night. He feels that he is not done grieving yet and wants to wait to ttc. I am so frustrated and very upset I guess the best thing that I can do is just bugger off and relax and maybe he will change his mind soon. Who knows my cycle is so weird right now maybe I will o, not know it, and :
I can relate! This sounds an awful lot like what was going on with me and DH in March or so of this year. I got quite disheartened, because my 'motor was running' for trying to build our family, and DH felt like he needed more time. I actually thought about leaving (hard to imagine now, but I did feel that way). What I am glad I did (and I don't know if this will be the same for you or not) is to wait and talk to the Divine of my understanding, and talk to friends and other support people about my frustration, and hope that one day it would change. Truly, I am glad I did not push DH too much, because when we did find out we were expecting, we were both more ready, and he could support me as much as I support him, because he was ready.

Mama to bikenew.gifBoots (April 2006) and Bolt.gifPebbles (November 2008).Wife to :treehugger.gif and mama to angel3.gifHeather, October 2003

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#13 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 10:45 PM
 
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I'm doing pretty well. Hooked on artichokes and brussel sprouts! I had a pretty good visit with my in laws from Saturday til Wednesday. I am getting to know them better now, and since they are the most stable and supportive of my parental units, that is very helpful and wonderful for me. MIL said she noticed that I am more relaxed and tolerant of foods than the last time I was there ( a month ago or so). I feel more trusting of the pregnancy now that we have seen that baby is fine.

The midwife called on Monday to clarify the results of the ultrasound. The tech had said that the placenta was low. The midwife clarified and said that actually, the placenta has 2 lobes to it: most of it is on the anterior and some, a second lobe, is on the posterior. I asked her lots of questions, because after spending the last pregnancy freaking out about everything, I know if I don't ask questions, I will freak out! She answered them well, and is not worried about the placenta. She said that she has seen this before, and the only reason they want me to have another ultrasound is so that at delivery, they know that we have all the parts out before I go home.

And the baby is fine! Perfect size for 20 weeks, and all the parts are there and working. (not sure if I mentioned this before, sorry if i'm repeating)

I still feel kind of anticlimactic, but also like I can relax. On Friday, I went to Babys R Us on my way home from my counsellor and bought some baby clothes and cloths and a hooded towel. Before, I'd said I wanted to meet the kid face to live face first, but I am feeling innocently hopeful again (yippee!! I didn't think that could happen!) of course it is not total, but I am glad it is there at all! So I let this hope carry me to preparing for a live baby. i told my MIL that and she said, "Oh, does that mean the rest of us have permission now too?" I found that so lovely and supportive. "Yes" I told her.

I'm looking forward to Christmas, and going back to stay with ILS again. I am more willing to expect that I will be able to do it now (before I was expecting bedrest any minute, because from week 10-week 19.5 that's waht I had to do last time). Now I take each day as it comes, and hope and expect a live baby. If I am wrong, then at least I had hope once this time.

Mama to bikenew.gifBoots (April 2006) and Bolt.gifPebbles (November 2008).Wife to :treehugger.gif and mama to angel3.gifHeather, October 2003

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#14 of 322 Old 12-01-2005, 11:14 PM
 
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hi ladies, and new ladies!!

what a nice sparkling new thread, tara! thanks for doing the new one... i'm a terrible volunteer-er!!

well, after meeting with both of my therapists, i've come to the conclusion that i do indeed need to RELAX. breath, relax, and try to enjoy each day i am lucky enough to be pregnant. still, easier said than done. one told me to imagine the fear thoughts coming down like heavy snowflakes, and i'm the snowplow that justs plows them away... we'll see...

welcome mearaina and katana... congratulations & looking forward to hearing more from you both!

cristina the sore throat could be related to your grief?? did you see the doctor? did you have a nice anniversary? it is very very sad that this year in your marriage is marked by your loss of alexa rose... i hope you're alright... where are you in ttc?

nicole- i somewhat can relate to the frustration you're feeling after that conversation with your husband... dp and i were on the same page ttc-wise, but many ''key" days around o he would back off, literally, too much pressure, etc. and i didn't know what to do i was so aggrivated. i hope the timing is right for both of you soon enough. i looked at your chart, are some of the points hollow because of the waking time?

hi jeana, well, i hope you o'd and i hope af doesn't show in 5 days! you never know!

aurora, i guess its true! july 31st is the day ff kicked out to me. i thought you got your bfp long before i did, though... i am glad to hear you are feeling so good about this pregnancy. no due date club for me, i don't think i'm a good candidate for that...maybe i'll lurk in seven or eight months! this is a total opposite-season pregnancy for me, and i'm worried (worry #4,568!!) that being large with baby in a time of year that i can't hide under a bulky winter coat will make me feel even more 'under-the-microscope', in the public eye, somehow. i guess i need to plow this thought away, too! i can't manage a comfortable feeling about projecting that far into the future...

jessica, i don't know about th u/s risks. i see threads here at mdc anti-u/s, but i never read them because i'm afraid i'll read something that will make me not want them, and i think the u/s is something i am really looking forward to to alleviate some fears... how ridiculous is that?? i think you should talk to your doctor about your concerns, though. i hope it all goes well...

hello to sandy, prue, erica, gabry, liz, jenn, natasha, mirandahope, katie, anakna4, dj tex, patti ann, and sarah! jeez, did i forget anyone?? like i said last month, with the # of women ttcing here, statistically SOMEONE'S GONNA GET PREGNANT THIS MONTH!!! maybe two, or three or four too!!

: : : :
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#15 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 12:03 AM
 
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Welcome to the new girls-good luck with your pregnancies.

Not much going on here. Was hoping that AF would come today(day 28) but she hasn't shown her face yet. Hoping the temp takes a dive tomorrow and she will be here. i'm getting anxious. Been having some lower back pain so hoping she is on her way. I feel so silly about wanting AF to come, but I am ready to be pregnant again. I have been working on Griffin's scrap book and it has been theraputic.

coralsmom-I hope you can take a deep breath and relax and enjoy this pregnancy a little bit. I know it is so much easier said than done.

Can't wait to start seeing some bfp's this month.

Patti
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#16 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 12:13 AM
 
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Hi Mamas, I am at a low point today. I have a close friend who is being kind if weird and it troubles me. I don't know quite what is going on. I think that we each have been having our own issues these past couple of months and we have drifted. I hope that is all.

I am really impatient at my core. It seems forever until my period is done. Forever until I ovulate. Forever until I will get another positive home pregnancy test. Not certain that a pregnancy will even make it through until the end. We had dinner at our friends' tonight. She is pregnant and all I could think of is how far away that is for me.

I am trying so hard to get it into my mind that it won't happen until next year if at all. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. It is so hard though. I obsess over the miscarriage and my fertility all the time. I can't give it a break and am pouring my all into it.

I am so glad I have this forum to communicate and get support. I have a hard time reaching out and asking for it in real life. I have no idea what to say to my friends. Maybe this is part of the problem with my friend who has become more distant.

Ugh, I feel so sad tonight. I have been feeling really good and then tonight it hit me like a truck and I am all of a sudden so down. I keep telling myself that my body has done everything just great so far and that I have to have trust, but it just takes forever and I can't keep it up. And I am stressing. My test date is going to be around Christmas or New year if my period ever ends and I ovulate at a normal time for me. What a nightmare. I almost want to fast forward to 2006.

I feel like a downer, sorry. I think this thing with my friend is making me sad.

I did have a cool thing happen today though. So I have my period and today it kind of slowed down a bit. I have been doing yoga every day and it is a great practice for me. I get very in tune with my body, and my mind, and really relax. Well today at the very end of my practice, when I lie still and mediate, all of a sudden I felt the blood just pour out of me. It was like there was some enormous release. I just sat there and felt it come out, and come out, and come out some more. It was kind of profound. I feel like something in my mind let go in my yoga practice and allowed this to happen (Sorry if TMI).

Take care Mamas. DP is making brownies and I am going to try to tell him how I am feeling.

Love, Erika

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#17 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 12:35 AM
 
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erika, you've been such a positive force here, its hard for me to see you feeling down... i know what its like when there's wierdness with a friend, and when it comes at a vulnerable time, it is much worse, for everything you're dealing with. you do so well at keeping 'it' all in a positive frame, keeping a thoughtful caring light on all the aspects of ttc after a loss, there has to be a time when you need to just feel the crappy wieght of ttc after a loss!! i hope it doesn't last long, though. i don't talk to any of my irl friends about any of what's going on with me... i feel like i live on another planet than they are. you may be closer to being pregnant than you think, the thing is you just don't know what lies ahead for you... and something you'ld probably tell me to do, just trust that you're body will get pregnant when the time is right... although you'ld say it 10x better!
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#18 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Katana & Mearaina I have added you both to the list

mirandahope - I don't know about the others here but I like hearing success stories of those who have had loss(es). I only seem to have issues with pregnancy when it is people who have not had a loss (boy that sounds bad when I write it down)

Jeana -

Jessica - they do ultrasounds early in pregnancy all the time, there is the big debate and it is good to weigh the pros vs. cons. Can they wait to do it after AF (though hopefully she won't come for a long long time).

Nicole - My DH goes through stages of that as well, He gets really freaked about the thought of going through another loss and would happily call it quits, but he knows how important it is to me. We have had so many talks about it I am sure he will get onboard again once he knows how important it is to you.

coralsmom - It is hard to relax once you know what can happen I bought a book a few months ago about meditations in pregnancy, it seems to be little ways to connect and get intune with your baby, I am hoping it will help me relax and just be when I get pregnant.

Patti - it always seems wierd to wish for AF on this thread , but I hope she quickly shows up for you and you can get into the TTC obsession

Erika - getting a BFP on Christmas would be a great gift.... It is hard not knowing and the waiting ect... I am right there with you

I really better get on the treadmill before it gets too late

tara
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#19 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 12:49 AM
 
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*shesh* I just now finally got our internet connection to work!

Thank you Tara for starting the new thread. It looks wonderful and is as active as ever!!

Welcome Katana and Mearaina! Congratulations on your pregnancy's. I hope you enjoy our thread as much as I do!

Jeana - There you are! I SO hope AF won't come visiting in 5 days. How is the no stress approach going this month? : :

Nicole - I'm so sorry to hear about you and your dh. I can't even imagine.

Coral's Mom - Take a deep breath in ........and out........ It's snowing here in MD (just a little) and I can see you in your snow plow already!

Patti - I scrap book too. It IS quite theraputic for me also. I can't wait till my finals are over, so I can put some more time into midway thru Dec!

Erika - I'm so sorry your having such a rough day. I thought of you today when I was feeling good (since you were sending us good vibes the other day) and smiled. Also sorry to hear about your friend. I can kind of relate...my BEST friend stopped talking to me about 1.5months before I was due.....we never spoke....then a few months after Ben passed away she found out what had happened and had the nerve to be mad at me/ my family for not calling her! Are you kidding me! Hmmm, if you're not there for the birth then don't even bother! She has yet to speak to me after she found out everything. I know it's not the same situation you're going thru and I hope you and your friend can work things out. Friends are SO very important!!

Well, I'm sure I missed quite a few of you, but it's WAY past my bedtime and I'm sleepy. Yes I go to bed at 10:00 !

Morning Prue!

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#20 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 01:02 AM
 
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Thanks Tara for starting the thread!

Welcome new mommas, hope your pregnancies continue to go well.

ND, I'm sorry you're feeling so low, and going through something negative with your friend. It's awesome though that yoga helps you out, both mentally and physically it seems. I've only tried yoga a few times before - I think I'm a tad impatient - but maybe I should give it a more serious try.

Patti Ann, I forgot, were you still holding off on ttc? Or was the timing off this month? Whatever it is, I hope af arrives shortly like you wish..

Mirandahope, I'm so glad you like your inlaws and find support with them. Unfortunately I have more of a stereotypical relationship with mine, not horrible, but not great. They live overseas, though, so it's not as important in our day to day lives.

Coralsmom, keep plowing!! Have you got an appointment with your midwife yet?

Nicole, I'm sorry you and dh are not on the same wavelength right now. Keep talking. Communication is crucial, especially in times like these.
As for your chart, if you did O I imagine it could be early implantation bleeding. If you didn't, maybe af could be coming early? Or, could you be O'ing right about now and have O spotting?

Jessica, i don't know if truly an US could hurt anything in very early pregnancy, but if you want to be absolutely safe you could schedule it early in your cycle instead of the 2ww. Hope everything turns out okay.

I forgot to tell you all last week all my labs (the 20 vials!) came back ok. One test was a bit off, and needs to be repeated in 6 weeks, and the chromosome analysis is still pending. I guess it really goes to show that I wasn't worried about it

Still no temprise, but hoping for one tomorrow. The egg is surrounded! (if there is one, that is)

Love to all

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06) trying to figure out what to do after 5 losses
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#21 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 01:56 AM
 
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I'm going to try to keep up with this one!

Welcome to the new members and hello to everyone else.

I called our realtor tonight and told him that we would not be painting the hallway. He backed off so, if it doesn't sell by the middle of next month, I'll consider it. I'll take all of the selling house vibes you guys can send though, cause this living in absolute perfection (as far as nothing at all out of place) is about to drive me crazy! Poor Caleb is down to 1 basket of toys in his bedroom. There are no more toys anywhere in the house! lol

Gabry-I'm not such a hero about Thanksgiving after all. I actually slunk up to bed and laid down for about an hour while everyone else stayed downstairs. I don't think anyone missed me though. My bil didn't even notice I'd been gone when I went back down.

CoralsMom- I like the snowplow. Hopefully your snow storms will be fewer and with less accumulation as time goes on.

Erika- I'm glad you got that release, and I'm hoping for a wonderful Christmas/New Year's surprise for you!!
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#22 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 02:13 AM
 
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It's only been 24 hrs since I last checked in, and yet it has taken me the last half hour to catch up! It's almost midnight here on my end, and I've been up since 6am, and have to get up at same time tomorrow. So not too many personals tonight.

ND, my heart goes out to you.

Tara, thanks for the thread. Also, I can relate to how you said you only have problems with pg ladies who haven't had a loss. I often sense that those who haven't had a loss are so sure of everything turning out fine, as if they're doing all the right things and so they'll have a healthy pg. I am amazed at how so many women "plan" their pg, saying we're going to have a baby at such and such time, as if they were God. We are not so in control of everything as we think. Life is a gift from the Giver, and we are merely stewards. I also get bugged by women complaining about pg, as if it was such trouble to have to go through. I'm know I had some of these attitudes before my innocence was ripped to shreds by the loss of my babies. I really shouldn't blame those who are fortunate enough to have never lost. But it's hard not to want to tell people to appreciate their gift and quit complaining about it.

Welcome new ladies! I'm the lazy non-charter who wants another baby badly, but dh is not so keen on it. He is willing to let God be in control, but he secretly doesn't want any more, while I secretly do!! I'm getting older (42) and everybody thinks I should be happy with the 4 I've got and quit being so silly about wanting more. I am happy with my girls, but I yearn for one more tiny life to nurture.

Well, it's now after midnight, and I feel myself turning into a pumpkin! Goodnight, ladies!

Liz
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#23 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 09:19 AM
 
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Gabry - Your chart is looking great! on getting those swimmers in place!! I'm so glad to hear that all your test results came back good! I'm sure it's a relief for you and now you can just sit back and relax and get pg!

Liz & Tara - I also agree with you guys. It's so hard to be around pg women who complain about everything and have their pregnancy planned out to the minute. *sigh* I wish we all could be like that, although knowing that anything can happen can let us mammas enjoy and bond with our babies while we have them....no matter how long that is.

Well, I know I've mentioned this before....but since we have so many members now...I'll mention it again. What do you guys think of having a separate pg thread? Not that I want anyone to leave this thread...but it seems like a lot of mammas here are getting overwhelmed by our huge thread, and I'd hate for anyone to try and cut their posts short just so it doesn't get too crazy here. We can always still post in both threads to offer support/advice. And I think it's a great idea to have a general pg after loss support thread, so it's not just directed at m/c's or just full term losses. So, what do you think? Maybe we can all think about it and start one for the new year in January?

 partners.gif = angel2.gifloveeyes.gif & shy.gif
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#24 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 09:53 AM
 
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good morning ladies,
sandy, i just read your post, then looked at the list, and i think that there may be a need for a adjunct thread. there is a lingering underlying issue that i at least have a hard time shaking- i feel out of place on the regular due date club board, but i am not ttc anymore- i mean, i may be again soon, you just never know what lies ahead, but i am not charting, stressing about temping, i'm not in the 2ww, doing opks, peeking around the corner for af, and all the other fun/not-so-fun stuff that comes with ttc... so i can't really contribute anything except hope for you all, and i definately feel wierd writing about anything pregnancy related, because it not really relevant to anyone ttc, and may chance on being offensive or saddening...

there is already a 'pregnancy after stillbirth' thread, as well as a pregnancy after full term loss' thread, so i think starting a more encompassing 'pregnant after a loss' thread- i think many issues are cross-over from all three, some issues are distinct to a particular situation of loss, but an all encompassing thread probably would do the trick. the problem as i see it is these threads are just not very active, and its not alot of fun or therapudic to talk to yourself for days on end! but if you want, i'll start an adjunct thread, and see how that goes. i won't start it until i hear some other opinions about it, and if there is not too much dissent(!) i'll start one tomorrow?? if the pg moms fom this thread migrate over there, fine, if not, well, we tried!

anyone have any thoughts on this??
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#25 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 10:10 AM
 
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My only thought on the subject is that I've come to feel that you all are my friends, like we're mothers getting together to talk about everything. I wouldn't like to lose that. I'm excited for the pg ladies, and I don't mind hearing details about their pg. Other than that, I have no objection to new threads.

Liz
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#26 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 10:28 AM
 
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Sandy thanks for posting that suggestion I think it would be a nice idea. I know I would REALLY look forward to posting on a pregnant after loss thread. Hope everyone is having a fertile month. Its looking ( ok feeling ) more and more like AF

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#27 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 10:50 AM
 
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I agree w/ liz on really enjoying everyone that is here on this thread. I don't mind pg women talking about their symptoms, etc. Yes it is different than ttc but you have many concerns that I can relate to. I like seeing what is to come and again it gives me hope (not frustration). If you guys want to start a pg after loss thread than that would be fine but I would certainly miss everyone that hsd been here w/ me through this hard time.

I hope everyone is doing well. I think that I am pretty caught up on personals so I hope that I didn't miss anyone.

I am still spotting this morning and my temp did a bit drop so I think maybe af is on her way. Very weird and that would be another non-o'ing cycle.
All the hollow circles on my chart are sleep deprivation. I don't know if I am really sleep deprived but my boys get up between 6 and 6:30 every morning and I fill out my chart then and I am always feeling way exhausted!!

nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#28 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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good morning ladies

I agree with what the others have said, I have come to see you all as friends too and look forward to hearing about your pregnancies and look forward to being right there with you all But I also agree with what Sandy said about not wanting to scare people off by the amount of posts we generate. Maybe the 2 boards would be a solution, but I have to warn you I will have to read the pregnancy one too

I am having a decorating party tommorow and I really really need to get the house organized so no time for anything more

tara
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#29 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 02:43 PM
 
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I am still sick. I did not even temp this morning, due to the restless sleep I had. I was up taking a drink, sucking down a throat lozenge all night long! I think I am feeling better, then then BAM, I feel like crap again.
I have an employment test today too, & I do not feel comfortable postponing. So off to get ready!

On the pg vs ttc thread. I think a seperate thread, perhaps ttc graduates thread would be a good idea, for those not ready to move to a ddc thread, for that limbo period. JMO.

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#30 of 322 Old 12-02-2005, 03:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Naughty Dingo
I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. It is so hard though. I obsess over the miscarriage and my fertility all the time. I can't give it a break and am pouring my all into it.

Ugh, I feel so sad tonight. I have been feeling really good and then tonight it hit me like a truck and I am all of a sudden so down. I keep telling myself that my body has done everything just great so far and that I have to have trust, but it just takes forever and I can't keep it up.
I empathize. I spent over a year feeling similarly to what I hear you saying here. There were two women in my university program (one a classmate, the other a teacher) who were pregnant, and I felt yucky about myself after almost every class where I had to see them. I told the teacher at one point that it was an issue for me and that if I looked really emotional or angry that it wasn't about her, but about having lost my child. I was exhausted, and was also doing an exhausting program, and I cried a lot and felt so bad about myself. I started to feel better once I didn't see the pregnant women all the time.

I ran into a friend on the street yesterday who I know has lost a few children, early on. He and his partner have something of mine, and at this point I have left it that they will contact me when they are ready for a visit with me. When I saw his face, and heard that he could barely talk about me being pregnant, I decided to stick with that plan and not push it. I remember how hard it was for me and I want them to set the pace.

I definitely thought about my lost child all the time and had been told I had a b/c disorder and I thought that meant I wouldn't be able to have children. (a test just before I got pregnant said I don't have any sign of it at this point). I felt terrible about myself, and kept thinking back over all the events, major and minor about the pregnancy I had lost, wondering what I could have done differently that would have meant I could have actually had a child in my arms. I searched my soul, even in corners where stuff about being pregnant wouldn't fit, didn't make sense to be. I was desperate to come up with a solution and I wished I could go back in time and fix the problem. I linked the loss of my child to pain I experienced as a child myself. I made lots of connections, which now only make sense to me (in my new place of being--so far--safely pregnant) because I was there before and got to know that space so intimately.

I honour your process. I trust that it won't last forever. I trust that you are not "off your rocker", but really doing your best to heal and make sense of your loss. This is a terrible, no good, pain and I am so glad that you talk about it, and

I direct that not just at you, but at all the women here who share their experiences. In saying what is true for you, you give others permission to say what is true or has been true for them. That helps all of us.

Mama to bikenew.gifBoots (April 2006) and Bolt.gifPebbles (November 2008).Wife to :treehugger.gif and mama to angel3.gifHeather, October 2003

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