TTC after loss November Thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 02:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well here we are in November! Maybe this will be all of our lucky months. : :

Well, I am 11dpo and still feeling slightly pregnant. I ordered some online tests and have decide to wait until they get here to test. I am going crazy.

Here is baby dust for all of us...........:
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#2 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 02:33 PM
 
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Thanks for starting the new thread. I hope your wishes comes true! Keep us posted!

My goal is to ease back in to TTC. I have gotten rid of the thermometer. I'm not doing OPKs either. I just want to enjoy being with dh and not stress over it. I'm just going to assume that AF will show up at any minute so I don't work myself up over things. There are no sticks in this house to pee on. I don't even want to know what CD I'm on. I refuse to test until I'm puking my toenails out.

I'm praying that my hormone levels are better and that we might have some luck this time around. I know it will happen....I just need to relax and not drive myself nuts(or dh) between now and then. Its not a race.

to all of you.
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#3 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 02:33 PM
 
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Thanks for the words of support about MIL. I know she wasn't trying to be hurtful. She was just being herself. We call her the type of person who has no filter. She says whatever comes out of her mouth without thinking about it first. She always has. I also think she's getting alzheimer's. Her mom had a VERY bad case of and I think it's starting to hit her. The people she was talking about came to her house while we were out walking the kids down the street trick and treating last night. Thankfully I didn't have to see them. But she asked FIL in front of me "Could you tell she was pregnant? You know she's pregnant, right?" Grrrrr.....

We used to have a really good relationship but it's slowly deteriorating. She just never keeps her mouth shut. She said last night I should wait six months before trying to get pregnant again because I got pregnant too fast this time (it's been 5 months since my last m/c). Gee, I didn't realize she had a medical degree!! Thanks for the advice!!

Anyway, we'll probably be moving to another state in the spring and we'll be 3hours away from all my in-laws then. I'm kind of looknig forward to that.

And the crappy day continues..I so wish I had someone to watch the kids so I could sleep..I'm bleeding so much and feel horrible. Bleh..At least I can put DD down for a nap in a little while and occupy DS with his Leap Pad and rest for awhile.

Sorry for all the whining...I feel like a big rain cloud is hanging over my head today. I've been thinking about taking a break from TTC for a few months but I get so scared thinking that I'm supposed to get pg with a healthy babe one of those months and I'll miss it..

Anyway, thanks for listening to all my whining!!!

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
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#4 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 02:39 PM
 
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Whine all you want Stacey.....I think you are intitled to it. I hope you get some rest.....maybe a warm bubble bath might help.


I'm sure you know that I took a break from TTC after my 2nd MC. Its been 5 months since the last MC. I just know that I was not emotionally strong enough to deal with yet another loss so soon. The break has helped me to bounce back. I'm finally feeling strong enough to give it another go.

You should do whatever feels right for you right now. You will know what to do.
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#5 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 03:34 PM
 
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Hello my name is Stacy and I am new here. Dh and I went on vacation and the whole time he kept telling me I was pregnant. I didnt believe him and when we got home tested to prove him wrong....sure enough I was pregnant. I had been cramping for a week, but was told it was normal, then the bleeding started. After a day of knowing something wasnt right I went to the ER. They did blood work and it came back negitive. First thing yesterday morning I called the doctor. 3 home tests and a doctor blood test cant be wrong I have to be pregnant. So they ran more blood work and found that I had MC. Even though this pregnacy wasnt planned and I was scared to death about it. Im still so heartbroken. Dh says that we will start trying, but this is my second this year....one in Feb when TTC and this one now. I dont know if I can take any more. I want another baby but Im so scared.
Anyways thanks for listening to me vent.
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#6 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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hey, mamas! the black cloud of bleeaahhhh is hovering over here, too.

not much of a consolation, huh, stacey?

all the dedicated baby-dancing over here has left me with a big fat stubborn yeastie-beastie that just won't quit. now i'm starting an entire yeast de-tox cuz i realize that i fit the profile of a walking bowl of fleschmann's starter. (natural remedies didn't work, 5 day otc remedy didn't work, both times it came right back, and yes it is definitely yeast according to ob/gyn) how much more uncomfortable i can get, i just don't want to know~ and i'm supposed to meet people from out of town for a dinner panel at Maggiano's tonight.

my 6yo was up all night with what we have christened the walrus cough. you know the kind. the bull walrus bellowing on the beach during mating season? that one. no sleeping in this happy home last night!

speaking of which, my "new" house is still a mess. boxes everywhere. how long should moving actually take? there doesn't seem to be an end in sight!

and we're still not pregnant. i'm beginning to suspect that maybe at 36, i'm getting too old to have another wee one around. it shouldn't be this hard for the little swimmers to find my eggs. did they dry up in there? did they forget the easter egg hunt game that they are supposed to be playing? other than our m/c now well over 2 years ago, there haven't even been any close calls. wtf?!?!? did the stork lose our address? did the fairy drop our dust on someone else? is this just some cosmic joke just i think i have it better figured out now? i think about it too hard, and sometimes i can be pretty stoic about it, but other times i just break down about how unfair it is. last week another 14yo child gave birth here, nursed the child, and threw it away. THREW IT AWAY! WHAT?!? i just cannot get my mind around this. i'll take the child, i agonize. less than 5 miles away and tossed in the trash can. the part i find most ironic is that she says she didn't want her mom to get mad, especially after her 12 yo sister had given birth the previous week. so it somehow became okay to throw the child out. don't give the infant to a firehouse, hospital, church, where it is accepted in illinois, no questions asked under the safe haven law. throw the child away so it freezes to death in the alley. mom will definitely approve then.

maybe it's raw again since we moved. the boxes of baby clothes were brought forward from where i hid them. the nursing tops and the cloth dipes popped out from where where they were stashed so carefully to keep them from my line of vision. now i cannot find the will to hide them again. and i have to either hide them or sell them, cuz i can't keep doing this. is one more child really too much to ask for? i never thought so.

sorry, mamas... didn't mean to step out of lurkdom to explode. maybe i'll be in a better place after i have some tea.

karen

*giggle*
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#7 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 03:49 PM
 
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oh, stacy, i'm so sorry for your loss. i was ranting while you were posting.

gentle hugs to you and your family during this time.

i wish i had magic words right now.

i'm just so sad for you.
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#8 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 03:55 PM
 
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Stacy~ I hope your stay here is short. I notice that yor sig. says that you have a 1yo. Are you still nursing? Sometimes that can interfere with your fertility. I'm sorry for your loss

Karen~ feel free to rant all you want here. We all understand.
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#9 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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kosheng, i was wondering where you were...
geez, woman, don't say all that about being 36 and dried up eggs, etc!! especially to another woman who is 36 and fearing dried up eggs!!
they are FINE... healthy, plump, brite and shiney, numerous, plentiful... they are just, well, hiding? lazy? watching tv? playing coy?
i go through the same pattern... doing well, keeping my head above water, trying to keep it all in a healthy perspective, stay hopeful and positive, and then, out of nowhere- i am down on my knees with my fists in the air screaming to noone in particular about 'why' 'why me' & 'why NOT me'. its a lovely ride, isn't it?!

anyway, i'm glad to see you back out of lurkdom, although i wish you popped up over in that 'other' thread...

sorry about your yeast-fest. i can't believe the otc stuff didn't work. one of our employees had the same thing, and she was cleansing through nutrition... no sugars, vinegars, etc. it will clear...

stacey (mommyx2), i am sorry for what you've been through. you got it right, it is very scary to ttc when you've had a loss. this is a good place to rant about it, clearly!!

still waiting on my egg. opk says negative, but ewcm says go for it. what do you think is more valuable? ewcm? or a positive opk? because my signs never really match up... so if i follow ewcm, it is many many days before i o, and if i follow opk, there is never too much ewcm around. dh is sick anyway, so i guess it is irrevelant anyway.
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#10 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 10:37 PM
 
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still waiting on my egg. opk says negative, but ewcm says go for it. what do you think is more valuable? ewcm? or a positive opk? because my signs never really match up... so if i follow ewcm, it is many many days before i o, and if i follow opk, there is never too much ewcm around. dh is sick anyway, so i guess it is irrevelant anyway.
Coralsmom... maybe you can convince your DH to sweat out his cold:
my theory is when in doubt DO IT.

I dont know IF we are trying or not. I probably should check w/ my OB/RE/Surgeon or someone to make sure its ok. My arm is healing very nicely from the melanoma removal surgery. I go back Friday to see what he wants to do with the scar.

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#11 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 10:49 PM
 
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No I wasnt able to nurse my 1 year old. Had lots of trouble with milk coming in and by the time I figured out what was going on she was getting very dehydrated. Once we put her on the bottle that was it she wouldnt even consider nursing.

Thank you all for your support.
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#12 of 274 Old 11-01-2006, 11:30 PM
 
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jeana,
it's so good to know your surgery went well! is there a big scar? i was told to use silicone patch to make a big scar i have go away. it helped. that and vitamin e, and eventually i had a cortisone shot.

i'm glad you're ok...
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#13 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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jbaxter - i'm glad you're ok too. how nerve wracking for you! (and uh, ps - what a beautiful family you have! i've never clicked your link before. i always pictured myself with a gang of sweet boys. it must be fun.)

karen - i missed you, gray cloud or not i like your energy and spirit.

pottermama - thanks for starting the thread. and much dust to you on day 11.

mommy-x-2 - well i just typed x-3 accidentally, welcome and i sure hope thats a good omen for you in the near near future. i'm sorry you are feeling that fear so stongly right now.

i fished out my last pee stick from a moving box today to get it ready to test tomorrow and it was all coated in almond oil or castor oil or some such yucciness. so hopefull it will work. it's left over form that time i was convinced i was pregnant without even trying. remember that, coralsmom? i still laugh out loud when i think of your post about "pulling out some excitement for you". it's some crazy digital one with a wee sign so i'll report first thing if it's good news. if it's not i guess i'd better make an appointment to make sure i'm not going all catherine of aragon style. yikes. sleep well everybody.
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#14 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 12:53 AM
 
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jeana,
it's so good to know your surgery went well! is there a big scar? i was told to use silicone patch to make a big scar i have go away. it helped. that and vitamin e, and eventually i had a cortisone shot.

i'm glad you're ok...
My plastic surgeon is going to work on the scar in a few months he also mentioned a silicone patch I see him friday. Right now I was told to use Aquaphor a couple times a day then switch to cocobutter after I see the doc.

Aileen -- Thanks about my boys. They are great ( almost 15 and 6ft tall, just 12 and a hilarous sense of humor and almost 3 and the activity level of an entire preschool class)
Here are 2 pics 2 days after
and 1 today.http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o...athan906-1.jpg
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o...athan039-1.jpg

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#15 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 01:46 AM
 
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Jeana, I'm glad to hear your surgery went well. I feel kinda stupid...I didn't even know about it .

Karen, it's good to see you back again. I've been having some yeast issues lately. I think it's from too much sugar. But I've always had good luck w/ (Rx) Diflucan. It's a pill you take by mouth, just one, and it works over several days to a week.

Aileen, mama! I've chewed all my nails off wondering what the heck is going on? Test soon, I can't take the suspense anymore!

Pottermama, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Coralsmom, Please, you thirty-somethings, quit talking about dried up eggs already! Have some pity on this poor almost 43 gal! If anyone has dried up eggs, and is over the hill and ready for a walker (oh wait, no one said that, did they?) it would have to be me!

Mommyx2, I'm sorry about your mc. Welcome to the bus station!

Po6 and Stacey, hugs to you mamas!

Liz
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#16 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 02:22 AM
 
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Kinda stupid question here but Im really not sure. I m/c starting on monday but didnt pass anything until yesterday. Dh and I want to start trying again and I heard that the first 3 months are very fertile. Do I count this as AF and start counting days or do I wait for my next actual period? Will I O again before AF arrives?
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#17 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 08:33 AM
 
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Just subbing here to keep up with my gals!


Aileen ~ The bus driver is getting impatient! He won't hold the door open much longer.....

Jeana ~ s Man that wound looks painful! I'm glad it's healing well.


And, here's some extra dust for all my mamas here....

 partners.gif = angel2.gifloveeyes.gif & shy.gif
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#18 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 08:56 AM
 
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so i peed on the gooey pee stick, and...
:

































so, at least for now, we caught the live brass band baby! last night as i was thinking about things i considered, maybe for the first time, that this baby might stick and be born and pink, and i thought about the band and in my belly felt thumpy. obviously not movement, but sort of tuba thumpy feeling. and i thought, who are you? there have been a lot of strange sensations so far, tugging, pulling, twinges. hopefully all because of shifting and growing. i hope.
thank you mamas. this hope exsists because of all of you.
i mean that from the deepest bottom of my floating heart.

much much much love,
aileen
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#19 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 09:51 AM
 
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aileen!!!
: : : :

Call your ob/midwife today and ask if they will order a HCG level and progesterone level at your local lab. They can call/fax the order so you wont have to go to the office They will want it repeated every 3 days I think. It will track what your hormones are doing. ( thats what my OB told me to do IF I ever get another +)
: : : :

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#20 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 10:07 AM
 
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mommy X 2,
you count the first day of actual bleeding as day 1 of your cycle, just as if it was af. are you charting? using opk's? in my own experience, i did not ovulate the cycle of my miscarriage, it was a little longer than a regular cycle, but i went back to 'regular' the next month. i think the extra fertility for 3 months after a m/c is anecdotal- i seem to rememeber quite a few moms here getting pregnant within that time, and then alot who havn't. each woman is different. the most important thing is focusing on staying healthy, and staying calm, at least for me. i am so sorry you have had to go through this...

and,
aileen!
alright, NOW i will start allowing myself to get happy for you!! before this am, i was all 'well, that woman's pregnant, but she doesn't want any broohaha until she pees on a stick, so i'll just play along...' but NOW, that the sticky stick (THAT must be a good omen for an extra sticky baby) says its a go, and you are reporting stretchy pully things happening, i am ready to show you how happy i am.
hurray for the brass band baby!!
(love those lips!!)
i didn't want to break out the dancing vegetables, seems like they mock me when i look at them!)

liz,
oh please, lady!!! a walker.
i am so glad you are here, liz.


alright, today is my first day of my new job. it involves alot of salami and turkey, and remembering prices, and dealing with the masses. i hope i have the skills required to handle this combination! i am nervous before any new job starting. and now i am 3 minutes late, so better go.
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#21 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 11:02 AM
 
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Okay, this calls for REALLY BIG BRIGHT LETTERS...YIPPPPEEEEEE AILEEN!!!!!(no pun intended w/ the "pee")

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU MAMA!

: : : : : ...all the cheerful smilies I could find!

I am so glad you told us before I leave for the weekend...I would've been wondering.

Well, now, I have a zillion things to do to get ready to leave. It's still so weird to think that my mom won't be at a big family gathering . She's just always been there...I still miss her so much, even after a year. Thank you all for your support. It's nice to have friends like you :

Have a good weekend all!

Liz
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#22 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 01:51 PM
 
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Congratulations Aileen!!! That's wonderful!! And that does sound like a super sticky baby in there!! Congrats mama!!!

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
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#23 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 02:51 PM
 
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yeastie-beastie that just won't quit. now i'm starting an entire yeast de-tox cuz i realize that i fit the profile of a walking bowl of fleschmann's starter. (natural remedies didn't work, 5 day otc remedy didn't work, both times it came right back, and yes it is definitely yeast according to ob/gyn) how much more uncomfortable i can get, i just don't want to know~
I get icky yeast like that. The doctors tested because it just wouldn't go away, and told me it was a rare form of yeast. They had to give me a 'script to make it go away. They told me the only OTC that has the medication to get rid of that kind of yeast is the one day treatment by monistat. I dont know if that would help you, but it might be worth it to try.


Hurrah aileen! I am sooooooo happy for you! Sticky sticky sticky vibes.

CD10 here and very aware of O right around the corner. My body so lets me know that its time to make a baby. I walk around with BDing on the brain. I am doing really well, enjoying feeling happy and womanly.

Happy Babydusted thoughts to everyone! I hope its a great month for everyone!

Unschooling Mommy of 3: Lilith (14), Panda (6), and Fox (4)
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#24 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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Congrats Aileen Lots of sticky thought coming your way! : :

coralsmom I havent ever charted before but planned on trying it this time. Thats why I was asking wasnt sure where to start.
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#25 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 10:21 PM
 
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thank you mamas.
you and dh and my friend who's a midwife are the only people who know. (i almost typed my wife who's a midfriend.) you're all so lovely and nice and make me feel loved and like this might work.

jbaxter - thank you for your insight! i am doing a little soul searching about how to handle it all this time. and you've definitely gotten the ball rolling.

dh says he has a really good feeling about this one. which is the most wonderful thing i've ever heard, except everything else he says. he's walking around grinning like a schoolboy.
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#26 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 11:37 PM
 
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Oh YAY! Congratulations Aileen!!!!

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

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#27 of 274 Old 11-02-2006, 11:38 PM
 
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Still deciding whether to TTC this month. O is just around the corner now. I really should wait for my test results to come back, but dammit, I just want to get pg right away!

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

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#28 of 274 Old 11-03-2006, 01:43 AM
 
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Still deciding whether to TTC this month. O is just around the corner now. I really should wait for my test results to come back, but dammit, I just want to get pg right away!
I'm right there with you..Bleeding is tapering off and I'm trying to decide what to do. Whether to TTC this month or not. I have a feeling I'll let things ride. Not temp, OPK it but DTD a normal amount around the time I might O. I think I can stay sane doing that.

I called my OB again today and they might get me in for a progesterone test after I O *if* I O this month..So that does give me a little hope. It kills me to think it might be as simple as low progesterone, you know?

One thing I have decided to do is to not live my life waiting for another baby. I've got to go on with life and if I have a baby, great! But if I'm not able to have anymore I have to trust that God has a plan and focus on the ones I have now. I feel much better this week going back to my super healthy eating plan and focusing on losing weight and staying healthy. I'm not going to kill myself exercising but I'm going to hit it harder again and just let whatever happens babywise happen. I just can't focus on it anymore!! It just consumes me..

Stacey reading.gif Happy wife to Rick coolshine.gif ,homeschooling Mama to Jacob, Noel, Joanna jumpers.gif  and a sweet stork-girl.gif due in the Spring!
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#29 of 274 Old 11-03-2006, 05:14 PM
 
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oh, aileen!!! hooray for yucky pee-sticks covered in unidentifiable goo that only we nuts would use!!!! hooray for tuba-thumpy feelings!!!! and most of all hooray for having the courage to keep pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps month after month, even after they are soft and fuzzy and oh-so-frayed from the constant tugging.

keep talking to that belly mama! that little one in there loves to hear you!!! and you should trust your dh's feeling's this time around!!

coralsmama: i don't think that our eggs really are dried up. maybe they are just playing coy and don't realize the time. perhaps once i'm done with my, ummm, de-tox, i'll be in a better place. i need to stay away from our community cookie jar!!! as for your eggs, i think they are hanging out with mine at the cookie jar that liz keeps filling up!

thanks everyone for the happy thoughts!

crazicandigirl, i did catch my self (in retrospect) dressing just a bit sexier than usual this month during a certain crucial time of the month (read: not in the usual sweats and t-shirts...) not so sure why my dh even puts up with me anymore!!!!

and one more thing... who made that crack about the bus driver not waiting forever??? he bloody well better wait for as long as it freaking takes!!!! THAT WAS THE DEAL, 'MEMBER?!?!?!?!?!
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#30 of 274 Old 11-03-2006, 05:46 PM
 
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Congratulations Aileen!!!!!

Lisa, mom to M : 6/02, R : 6/04, m/c 6/8/05, L 6/06, and E 8/07
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