You know, it's hard to acknowledge miscarriages because it's awkward socially. I have decided, for me, I am comfortable saying that this will be our second child. But I can't say I have two children, or I'm a mother to two. Because I have four children. I know it seems like there's no difference between this will be our second child, and I have two children, but there's a difference to me, and that's all that matters. Other people generally don't want or need to know what I've been through.
(I had a meeting last night, and during intros, the first person said she was a mother of three, then everyone else followed suit. I had to just say I have a son who is 4 and I'm expecting another in October. I couldn't say I was a mother of two. But it would have been weird in that context to say I was a mother of four. Then it made me MAD that I had to think about that in the first place.)
Usually, though, if someone asks how the pregnancy is going, I end up telling them the whole story, because I can't yet separate this pregnancy from the last two. They are all part of the story of this baby.
But I think everyone ultimately comes up with a solution that works for them.
If you just need to get it out...try writing. Or sometimes I find that if I have conversations with myself as though I was talking to someone else, that helps me process things and feel like I've talked about it. Or if you have a good friend you can call and say "hey, just listen to me for a bit" and maybe you need to do it 5 or 6 times, but bring them some food and talk away. Or, heck, if it will help, talk to total strangers. You'll never see them again, right?
I found that writing in my blog incessantly helped. I eventually stopped publishing any of it, just saved it as drafts, re-read as needed, and ended up keeping just in case.