I'm just a lurker here, but I read this thread and just had to respond... I'm a 33 year old with ToF, and reading all of this from the perspective of moms of a ToF kid is so emotional! Trust me when I tell you that it is FAR worse for you guys than it is for your little ones. I had my surgery when I was 5 (at the time, they waited a while before doing the repair - I was a whopping 25 pounds at 5 years old! The pictures of me from right before my surgery are really quite dramatic - I was so little and so blue) Anyway, I still go to the cardiologist (one who specialized in adults with congenital heart defects) once a year, and so far I've always gotten the same report - "Everything looks great - see you next year!" So far, there's no indication that I'll need to have my valve replaced, although it's certainly a possibility down the road.
For all of you pregnant moms - know that my mom had two more kids after me. They are both perfectly healthy, awesome young adults now with no heart problems. I had a bunch of genetic testing done when my husband and I started trying to have kids, and they didn't find any genetic cause, so my geneticist, cardiologist, and ob/gyn all gave me the thumbs up to try and have kids. Unfortunately, we have unexplained infertility, so that didn't end up being an issue, but it certainly wasn't because of my heart.
Anyway, I just wanted to offer some support and a "BTDT" perspective from the side of your kids. Try to relax a little! (I know - easier said than done)