I regret responding with my own long story, so I'll make it quick. My oldest has turned into terror kid from bi-polar hell! His dad has taken him and the other kids for the week so I can breathe now but I have been also crying over thinking of the possibility that I need to send DS1 to his grandparents to live.
He is so explosive and there is no warning at all. What's worse, he is starting to do that blame thing ("I broke the <fill in the blank> because I was scared -- Mom makes me scared" -- and lying about how events went down) which is making ME feel threatened. As a social work major, I know it won't take much for DS1 to really screw things up for this family. If I, for any reason, am unable to work with children, then I will feel like my life is over, and my ability to support my family will be over. So in my opinion, his behavior not only threatens me but my other children as well.
So, I chose a Licensed Clinical Social Worker as our counselor. Used to be called Psychiatric Social Workers. They work with just this sort of thing. Anyway, as a social worker, he functions as counselor, case worker, broker, anything he needs to be. And, we are ALL his clients so his main priority is family preservation.
The agency with which he works also has many functions. They have a residential treatment facility, a group home, group counseling, etc. If we start to need more intensive services, we'll get them immediately.
So my suggestion is calling around and finding something similar in your area. I know that for a lot of people the title "social worker" brings up negative images and feelings but they can truly help you and your family because they link you to whatever you need in order to preserve the family structure.
If you can't find anything in the phone book or by doing a google search, call your family court and ask for a referral. (Assuming you are in the States)
Or, it could be that the agency where your psychiatrist is located also has a LCSW. That would be ideal, because then your family is getting well-rounded attention, so to speak.
It's so hard battling the explosive child but it's even more difficult battling the stress and the guilt that results. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.
ETA: SO , I started working on this and got up to make coffee. I see now you've posted about UCLA and other services. It could be that the psych or a SW could get you bumped up on that waiting list so that may be something to consider -- or find similiar programs nearby. Yes, I am a proponent of working with social workers, so you'll hear me say it a million times -- because in my courses I have learned that they TRULY CAN and DO help families in situations like yours.