Almost 4yo and possible ADHD? Something else? -Long- - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-15-2009, 12:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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First of all, DH and oldest DD have ADHD.
DH takes was dx 4 years ago and has had great success with his mess (promotion, amazingly better at social interactions and personal relationships)
DD was dx 3 years ago. We tried her on meds for 2 months, but because she was doing ok at school and was happy, we decided to stop it until things changed. She is being homeschooled now and I can taylor her studies to suit her needs.

And them you have our nearly 4yo DS
Since he was almost 2, we have noticed there was something slightly different about him. It has always been very hard to get his undivided attention for longer than a few moments. He also had a lot of small obsessions he can fill his days with to the extent he will talk about them constantly. He sometimes has little ideas and thoughts about exciting things, and he will get so worked up that he will pace back and forth, back and forth around the floor while his little mind works furiously. You can try to call his name, but he won't listen unless you hold him and make sure he is looking at you.

For a while we feared he was autistic, OCD or something, but the older DS
gets, the more DH can rated to his behaviour from when he was child. But could it be wishful thinkingof our part? ADHD does not scare us... the other diagnosis do.

He throws wild tantrums when frustrated, and unlike his siblinhs, he is simply so absorbed by them that he does not care where or who you are when he is in it. NOTHINg will get him to stop - all he can think about is what he is feeling and won't listen to any requests, bargains or threats (I know... bad mom but I get desperate sometimes : ) The irony is that at the same time, he is the same time, the sweetest little boy 90% of the time.
Another thing is that he never asks for things for himself or talks about his feeling. He prefers to work things out on his own it seems. He LOVES cuddles, kisses (the smile and look of bliss on his face are priceless) but rarely initiates them. On the other hand, he is constantly coming to talk about a million things per second and asking to play.

He is too little for formal homeschooling, but I know he can rarely keep focus on a story for longer than a minute.

I also wish he could talk about himself or more abstract feelings.
I remember that the others were doing that by 4, and it is lime DS is so quiet about things that he is not into at the moment (including his emotions)

Anyway, sorry that this got long, but I hoping somebody will share their espedience and opinions about this.
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Old 01-15-2009, 01:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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sorry for mispelled words, repetitions and other mistakes.
I typed on the phone and can't go back to edit
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Old 01-15-2009, 01:16 AM
 
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I would look into an ot evaluation with a therapist who is well versed in sensory processsing disorder. I know my ds seems hyper when he is in sensory overload. I would look into having him evaluated though.

Misty, mama to my nurslings William(11/4/02) and Parker(7/13/04).
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Old 01-15-2009, 01:19 AM
 
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I understand being scared of those other things. But you have to think of it that he has whatever he has. Adding the proper name to it doesn't change what is. But knowing what you're dealing with can help you make decisions and find options..at least it did me.

I agree that sometimes there is over-lap between ADHD and autism spectrum. At four a good evaluator of autism should be able to rule that "in or out". You do list things that might make me suspicous. My son is almost five and on the autism spectrum. He also has attention deficit issues. I was terrified of autism. Now the ADD seems more difficult for me to find good solutions for him. I think it will affect his life more. Often kids on the spectrum also have attention issues like ADHD or ADD.

Here is a pdd online assessment. You could see how he scores though of course it isn't diagnostic. http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

Names of things don't change who your son is and his strengths and challenges.

OT seems like a good idea to me too.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

My Blog-free homeschooling finds and my lesson plans and link to the new User Agreement

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Old 01-15-2009, 05:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the test.
He scored 93

Yes, we have been thinking about getting him to see a specialist for over a year now, but as he gets older, his behaviour and social abilities has improved a lot, particularly in the last 6 months. So we are kind of waiting to school age, also because his older brother was a quirky preschooler (not as much but still...) but now is as social and regular 9yo as you can find, and very bright for his age.

I am in the UK by the way, where things work very differently and the government tends to hover over that parents as soon as there is any sign of difficulties. And I have read that your child receives a SEN letter (special educational needs) upon diagnosis, and it becomes a living hell being able to homeschool that child. If they let you Hs, then they want to check the kid on a regular basis to see if you are "good enough" for them (yes, even though school teachers don't have a clue or care about a child with difficulties as much as a mother would! ).

So this also puts us off from looking into a dx just yet. If anybody in the UK has experience, I would love to hear from you.
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:15 PM
 
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That is a fascinating quiz. My son (Aspergers diagnosis) got a 48, which said no PDD.

OP, as sad and scary as the diagnosis was, I am so glad to have that information and to be better able to help my son function in the world. We have done some biomedical treatment that has significantly helped him physically (fatigue, which was a huge problem is almost gone) and some therapy that seems to help him in terms of social confidence. He just seems happier in his skin.

Is there such a thing as a private diagnosis in the UK? Is there anyone who could assess and help you figure out what would help him without putting him into the "system?"
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Old 01-15-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by christinelin View Post
Is there such a thing as a private diagnosis in the UK? Is there anyone who could assess and help you figure out what would help him without putting him into the "system?"

This is what I was wondering. Can you get an expert opinion without an official diagnosis? I know for us knowing "what" really helped me to help my son.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

My Blog-free homeschooling finds and my lesson plans and link to the new User Agreement

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Old 01-15-2009, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, private consultation would be an option, though we simply can't afford it right now.
So you have an idea, my husband's employer pays for his private psychiatrist (the NHS says that adult ADHD is a myth : ) and it costs 300 British pounds PER visit! I think it is because they know that only rich people opt for private care, so they have no problems sticking their hands deep in the pockets...
But I am looking into the options and reading a lot at the moment.
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