Anger outbursts - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 02-23-2009, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday my son got very angry at something - I'm not sure what it was because I wasn't in the room. In response he ran and slammed his fist into the window. Thank goodness it didn't break. I don't really know how to handle these. Anger outbursts are part of his condition. He doesn't really know how to handle it well and of course having an older sister who walks all over him doesn't help the situation either. He also can not verbalize fast enough in a situation like that to say anything. My mother tells me that he needs to be "trained" not to do that. Ok...so he's not a dog...but is there some truth to that?

His response to a situation that he doesn't like which usually involves when another person interferes with him - is to throw a tantrum. He sometimes bites, kickes, grinds his teeth in anger, etc.

Any tips? Last time I put him in his room for a time out he ended up cleaning up! As great as that was for me i'm not so sure its good for him to revert to his "lining up" and "everything needs to be in order" issues either.
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#2 of 6 Old 02-24-2009, 12:47 AM
 
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Sara. How hard and scary.
How old is he? I think he's genetic dx. but I can't remember for sure?

I know of something helpful for kids with things like ODD and bipolar and ADHD and even kids who are in serious out of control/psychopathic behavior. And, wouldn't you know, it's great for the run of the mill kids too.
But I don't know what you're dealing with in terms of cognition and age.

I feel for you because my son was much the same way. He still can spiral out of control emotionally but his control has improved with age. We considered medication at some points. For a long time the only thing that helped was to catch him before he went over the edge (not easy at all..sometimes I didn't even know for sure what triggered it) and distract his mind. That got harder as he got older but his ability to delay his reaction increased. I feel for you.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

My Blog-free homeschooling finds and my lesson plans and link to the new User Agreement

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#3 of 6 Old 02-24-2009, 01:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He'll be 4 in a few weeks. His verbal skills are probably that of a 2.5 year old but supposedly his IQ is in the high average range which the specialist says only adds to his frustration (complete understanding of situations but unable to verbalize his understanding). I do see that I can diffuse a situation before it starts but that is rare with 2 other kids needing my attention as well. I can usually talk him out of his crying frustrated spells which usually come from me not understanding what he wants. I think I find that the anger comes a lot from when his older sister takes something away or if his younger sister tries to play with him when his is trying to be alone. He is a big boy and one of the things that we were working on in OT before he "graduated" was that his SPD doesn't always allow him to recognize when he is putting his full force into something....which is obviously scary if he is punching windows now.

It is just so frustrating when you feel like you can't communicate and reason with him like you would a typical child.

And now I'm worried about how he will be when he enters school so I need to get working on this (even though we will be letting him repeat Kindergarten when the time comes)!
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#4 of 6 Old 02-24-2009, 11:17 AM
 
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What about giving him choices about what he can and can't do to express his anger? If he needs to hit something, how about a pillow or a couch cushion (though some say that actually increases angry feelings). Or tell him he can use his words and stomp his feet, but not hurt himself or another. Or direct him to a squeezee stress ball or theraputty when he needs something for his hands to do.

What about reducing stress and increasing body awareness and self control with a Yoga for Kids DVD?

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw...=Yoga+for+kids

You can purchase from Amazon, or pick up the two disc set at Target (Yoga from Silly to Calm, and Yoga ABC's).

Also, pictures stories to help with anger might help.

We created a Problem Solving Binder to help using some pecs pictures gotten free off the internet to help teach emotions.

http://growinginpeace.wordpress.com/...olving-binder/

Also reading the Explosive Child might give you some techniques too.

Mama of 3 girls: 7.5 , 6 , and 4.5
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#5 of 6 Old 02-24-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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We love love love the yoga cds mentioned in the post above!!! :
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#6 of 6 Old 02-24-2009, 12:44 PM
 
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In that case look into this approach. It's very positive..lots of positive energy which feels good for everyone. And for us it's been really helpful with the exact situations you're dealing with. Andrew's outbursts still are mostly related to what his brother does. This has helped us build more positive dynamics in two ways--in his brother not doing the irritating things and in Andrew responding with calmness and in a postive way rather than on emotional impulse. You might just read and see if it could help.
http://difficultchild.com/
http://nurturinggreatness.net/
http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-D...5490004&sr=8-2

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

My Blog-free homeschooling finds and my lesson plans and link to the new User Agreement

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