parenting explosive child w/o having heart attack? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 03-09-2009, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
Tuesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just wondering if any of you with explosive children have any suggestions regarding stress management.

I'm starting a parenting course in April for managing explosive children. But my almost 6 y/o is really doing a number of me. I have had him in child mental health programs for several years and we have a weekly counsellor . ... but still ... when I get excited during his 'explosions', I explode. I mean - even if I don't respond and remain calm and deep breathe - my heart -oh vey - feels like I'm going to have a heart attack.

I'm still reeling from an emotional breakdown my son just had and my breathing is so shallow and my heart just doesn't feel good.

I wonder if anyone else feels stress and how to deal with it.

(FYI - I do yoga and try to exercise every day.)
Tuesday is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 03-09-2009, 05:23 PM
 
chantald's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NY's Mid Hudson Valley
Posts: 1,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Meditation..for all of us.. Deep, relaxation breathing..

Also, the book The Explosive Child by R Greene was also helpful. We took a course based on his book.. when our son was 5. It really helped us and him.
chantald is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 03-09-2009, 07:20 PM
 
sbgrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 9,223
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The Nurtured Heart approach by Glasser has really helped here. It helps from the parent emotion end as well as the child. It's really different than anything else I've found (and better).

Usually you can get this book of his about the approach through a library. http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-D...6637069&sr=8-2 His new one, All Children Flourishing I think spells it all out better but is harder to get without buying it. Another option for learning it would be this: http://energyparenting.com/
vegantics likes this.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

My Blog-free homeschooling finds and my lesson plans and link to the new User Agreement

sbgrace is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 03-10-2009, 12:05 AM
 
umami_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: home is where the magic is
Posts: 5,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
EFT has helped me. and i take GABA too to help with my anxiety.

http://www.sageenergetics.com/

deborah is wonderful with other parents, IMO.

there is a GD-ing the explosive child thread on the GD forum too, BTW.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

umami_mommy is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 03-10-2009, 10:35 AM
 
Magella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,470
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I find that it helps to make sure I have time to do things, not directly related to kids, that I enjoy--even if I can only do that for a few minutes here and there. Whether that's reading a book, listening to music that I find relaxing, listening to a podcast I like while I wash dishes (or anytime I have housework to do and the kids aren't needing me-I use only one ear bud so I can still hear everyone), or actually going out. Right now I'm taking a bellydancing class one night a week for one hour, and it's very good for my mental health. Getting outside in the sunshine helps too. Taking a minute to look out the window at something beautiful and just enjoy it, focusing on it and letting the stress go, can help too. Those little moments throughout the day don't sound like much but can add up to something really helpful.

Respite care. My parents are my respite caregivers. A couple of days a month they take all my kids, and I have an entire afternoon to myself to relax.

Also, taking the time to actually do deep breathing and to meditate (even a few minutes) every day can help. Any sort of relaxation exercise, daily, helps reduce the tension I carry almost all the time.

Do you have someone you can talk to, who will just listen supportively? I think that's really important too. Also, I think it's good to be in contact with other parents who go through similar things-it helps you feel less alone. Support groups, online but especially irl, can be helpful.

Also, making sure that every day, even for a few minutes, I am taking the time to enjoy my child really helps. It can be hard to feel positive toward a child who is so difficult to parent, and for me that really adds to my stress and guilt. Our relationship needs positivity and joy, and it's very helpful to both of us when I make that happen. Sometimes I need to set aside special time during the day, other times I can make that happen in small doses throughout the day.

It is very hard. There is a short, good book that I found helpful when it comes to taking care of me. It's called Raising Troubled Kids, by Margaret Puckette. She writes from the perspective of the parent of a teenager with a severe mental illness, but I found it to be a helpful book to read even though I thought that some things didn't really apply to my life. It is not a how-to-discipline book, but a "how to cope and take care of yourself and the rest of your family while taking care of your troubled child" book.
Magella is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off