Wanting another baby... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 05-07-2009, 08:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know we just had a thread about this awhile back, but gosh, it's getting bad for me. DH thinks I've grown two heads. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden, I keep having baby lust. I keep telling myself that it is ok to just look forward to another baby sometime in the future. Just cause I want something doesn't mean I have to have it now. I think the respite care is doing it for me. Things have gotten easier. I'm able to get more done now, so of course, I need a baby NOT. Anybody got any tips for making it easier? Ever since I got married, I have either wanted a baby or had a baby. I guess I just like babies.
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#2 of 16 Old 05-07-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Ummm...I want one too and I'm in the middle of a divorce! For me I just partially feel I got cheated out of all the baby things. I was supposed to have a baby to nurse and cuddle and play with. I love DD to death, but she has never given me that warm, cuddly, lovey baby feeling. I missed out on that.
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#3 of 16 Old 05-07-2009, 11:04 PM
 
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Don't ask me! I'm 20 weeks right now. We had been talking about whether we dared to have another biological child, and if we did, should we do it sooner or later? We were discussing adoption, and when we would do it, domestic vs international, etc etc when...oops...I'm pregnant!! I guess that decision was made for us

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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#4 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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Don't ask me, either. We're hoping to start TTC next month, despite all my anxiety over both my kids having special needs.

To my husband I am wife, to my kids I am mother, but for myself I am just me.
we're : with and : and
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#5 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 02:58 AM
 
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Yeah, mine is undiagnosed and deteriorating, but here I am in the hospital with him, 17 weeks pregnant. Partially I wanted another baby, but I am not really *into* babies- don't particularly enjoy the babies of other people, for example. Mostly we wanted ds to have a sibling, since his immune and food allergy issues keep him really isolated.
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#6 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 11:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bandgeek View Post
For me I just partially feel I got cheated out of all the baby things.(
I think that is part of it for me too. I allowed myself to grieve over what I lost, but I never let myself admit that I still wanted it. I don't know if that makes sense. Juju is sweet in his own way. The tiniest of smiles and looks can warm me up. I feel like we've bonded pretty well all things considered. But the things I dreamed for 9 months didn't just go away. Now I'm getting to the point where I'm packing away alot of baby stuff. I've had baby stuff for 4.5 years, and I'm not really ready to put it away! I feel like bawling and squaling when I have to get out 18 month clothes for Juju. And I really wanted a girl too - which isn't so important, but I still wish for a second girl.
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#7 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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My SN son has severe CP, has a feeding tube/Kid Kart/multiple meds/therapy...and I'm almost 27 weeks along We also have two other sons (7 and 6 tomorrow!) that are healthy. I'm no good at talking someone out of babies, apparently
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#8 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 04:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My SN son has severe CP, has a feeding tube/Kid Kart/multiple meds/therapy...and I'm almost 27 weeks along We also have two other sons (7 and 6 tomorrow!) that are healthy. I'm no good at talking someone out of babies, apparently
Oh, how wonderful, there is life after CP! You know I was thinking about your story today, and realized - don't they say having a baby is the ultimate act of optimism? I think this may just be a sign that I'm feeling happy again.

I feel a strong pull toward wanting to mother another baby, but not so much toward going through another pregnancy and birth. Maybe I need to start lurking around the adoption forum so I can learn what we'll need to know when the time is right for us.
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#9 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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Oh, how wonderful, there is life after CP! You know I was thinking about your story today, and realized - don't they say having a baby is the ultimate act of optimism? I think this may just be a sign that I'm feeling happy again.

I feel a strong pull toward wanting to mother another baby, but not so much toward going through another pregnancy and birth. Maybe I need to start lurking around the adoption forum so I can learn what we'll need to know when the time is right for us.
Oh yes. I went through alot of the "missed out" feelings after Gabe was born, even though I had two normal pregnancies/deliveries/babies before him, I wanted to breastfeed one more baby, and I wanted to watch the little pacifier moving in and out while he/she slept, and watch as he/she first discovered their own hands. I missed that with Gabe, and he did try to nurse/take a bottle of breastmilk when he was home from the hospital, but when he got sick at about 6 months and ended up back at the hospital, he completely lost the ability to suck. That was so surreal (not sure if that's the right word I'm looking for) when they explained to me that the times he was "eating" it was a reflex. That stuck with me, and bothered me for a long time, I don't know why.

I want to really enjoy this last pregancy, but at the same time, I'm almost "expecting" something bad to happen. My OB said something to me the other day, that kind of hit me, "Don't you think you've been through enough?" I took it as, maybe God won't let something bad happen this time around...I think that's how she meant it. But yeah, I know anything can happen. Eek, sorry for going off on a long story!
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#10 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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I feel a strong pull toward wanting to mother another baby, but not so much toward going through another pregnancy and birth. Maybe I need to start lurking around the adoption forum so I can learn what we'll need to know when the time is right for us.
My sister has 4 kids (no serious SN), and she fosters babies now. She said it is SOOOOO much easier to handle a newborn when you didn't just give birth. She says you can appreciate their baby-ness without the exhausted fog. FWIW .

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. ~Jonathan Kozel
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#11 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 07:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I want to really enjoy this last pregancy, but at the same time, I'm almost "expecting" something bad to happen.
I think that's probably a totally normal reaction to go through. If God won't give us more than we can handle, it seems he thinks an awful lot of us!
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#12 of 16 Old 05-08-2009, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She said it is SOOOOO much easier to handle a newborn when you didn't just give birth. She says you can appreciate their baby-ness without the exhausted fog. FWIW .
I kind of thought that might be true. I was definately in a fog with all 3 of mine. We found a video of when DD was born the other night, and I was shocked - I have no memory whatsoever of this nice little party we had with my extended family. At least I have the video! I just kept thinking watching it - I wish I would have felt better so I could have enjoyed this, it looks like it was such a nice moment in time!
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#13 of 16 Old 05-09-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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What am I doing in this thread? *running out*

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#14 of 16 Old 05-09-2009, 09:32 PM
 
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Ok, I will help:

Weight gain.
Mood swings.
Changes to hair.
Changes to skin.
Mood swings.
That whole birthing thing.
That whole postpartum thing.
That whole loss of libido thing.
Mood swings.
That whole nursing forever and not owning your own body thing.
Poop.

Shall I keep going?
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#15 of 16 Old 05-10-2009, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm pretty convinced I do not want to be pregnant!

And Juju gave us some white hairs the past few days going on another one of his hunger strikes. He has to just keep on until we are all in tears and out of sorts thinking we're going to have to call the doctor and admit defeat, and then he wakes up the next morning and starts eating again!

I'm going to use my baby lust energies to research adoption, so we'll know what to do when the time is right.
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#16 of 16 Old 05-13-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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The Special Needs forum is one of support, respectful requests of information, and sharing of ideas and experiences. This forum was set up to meet the needs of and provide support for families with special needs children.


Parenting the special needs child comes with many rewards and challenges that are unique to each family. This forum is a place to discuss these issues with like-minded members. The forum is open to all members and we encourage everyone to share and join in the discussions. Though in doing so, please be respectful of the forums purpose and the feelings of all our members.

 
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