The highly anxious child...any advice? - Mothering Forums

 
Thread Tools
#1 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
TwinGirlsMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, after being diagnosed with about 9 or 10 different conditions (add, adhd, asperger's, odd, ocd, etc.), my almost 8-year-old daughter's therapist believes it is "just" extreme anxiety.

Anyone else with an anxious child? Any good books I can read on the subject? It is really affecting her school work (teachers tend to view her anxiety as defiance) and her social life, to a lesser extent.

I feel like I have somehow caused this and I want to do everything I can to help her through it. I myself have anxiety, but I can't imagine being so little and going through so many scary feelings.

Thanks for your support.

Julie

Julie, mom to my beautiful twin girls twins.gif

TwinGirlsMama is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 02:19 PM
 
Magella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,442
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A couple of books have been really helpful in our family.
For you: Freeing Your Child From Anxiety

For her (with your help): What To Do When You Worry Too Much

Therapy is wonderful for anxiety, so I recommend sticking with that. Also, maybe the therapist can help you work with the teachers.

Magella is offline  
#3 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
TwinGirlsMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magella View Post
Therapy is wonderful for anxiety, so I recommend sticking with that. Also, maybe the therapist can help you work with the teachers.

Oh yes, her therapist said she'd be more than happy to talk to my daughter's teachers! I forgot to mention that part. And my daughter will continue therapy.

It's just so hard for me. I hurt for her...what could be going on in her mind? I wish I could help more. I will definitely check out those books.

Thanks!

Julie, mom to my beautiful twin girls twins.gif

TwinGirlsMama is offline  
 
#4 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 06:19 PM
 
Magella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,442
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is hard to be the parent of a very anxious child. It's hard to watch them struggle, it hurts to see them unhappy. It's hard to know that you can't fix it or take it away. And there is that thought that maybe you've caused it (but you haven't, it's no one's fault).

You can help her a lot, though, and support her. You can be there for her. And remember, too, to care for yourself and make sure you have people who are there for you too. You both will be okay. Anxiety stinks but it's also very treatable.
Magella is offline  
#5 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 06:50 PM
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Facebook
Posts: 6,302
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DS1 has a dianosis of high-functioning autism. Under the direction of his developmental pediatrician, he started taking GABA and magnesium. His anxiety has become significantly less of a problem! He started off with low dosages, one at a time, to see what worked best for him. I never expected them to work so well! Perhaps that's something you can try?
lotusdebi is offline  
#6 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 11:36 PM
 
serenetabbie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Somewhere with my hands in the dirt
Posts: 4,696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son also has high anxiety. It impacts his life to a heart breaking degree. We tried diet changes and suppliments before finally giving into medication. Now, we wait to see if that will help. We still give him fish oil and restrict certain food "stuffs" (HFCS, food colorings, all the "normal" things to try). He also goes to therapy, but since we changed therapists it is too early to tell if it is helping. I think it is though.

I had been very closed to medication before... but there was another thread about this that changed my mind. A poster said that she wished she could have been free from anxiety when she was a kid, that she wished her parents would have done something to help her and that medication helped her a lot as an adult.

Thank you for the book suggestions Magella!

The Tabbie Family; DH , DS , DD , a few :, a couple : and me.
serenetabbie is offline  
#7 of 19 Old 07-29-2009, 11:50 PM
 
joensally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Is her therapist employing Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?

Mom to a teenager and a middle schooler.

joensally is offline  
#8 of 19 Old 07-30-2009, 12:18 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 15,952
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
Anxiety also severely affects DD1, it ends up involving the entire family. We've done so many things, spend a fortune on therapy, I'm actually fighting now to get her ON meds because she struggles so much with everything. She barely sleeps or if she does she has nightmares.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#9 of 19 Old 07-30-2009, 11:50 AM
 
proudmamanow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: home again, home again, jiggety-jig
Posts: 2,054
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
this is a timely post as I am going to see our GP this afternoon to try to get a referral for therapy for anxiety for DD1, age 4.25. I have a significant family history of anxiety and we wondered if another diagnosis (like asperger's or SPD) fit our quirky kid, but anxiety seems to be the big one for us. I so want her to have a happier, easier time and be able to enjoy activities without us, etc.

Good luck to you and your daughter on this journey, OP
proudmamanow is offline  
#10 of 19 Old 07-30-2009, 12:21 PM
 
Kailey's mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,782
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
right now occupational therapy and a controlled environment helps. Things that are big stressors, we don't tell her until last minute, because if I tell her earlier, she'll freak until it's time to do whatever it is ex: wash hair, doc appt, cutting finger nails

familybed1.gifnovaxnocirc.gif nut.gifMommy to my amazing 6 yr old dd, we homeschool.gif, and  27 weeks belly.gifpuke.gifand have been sick the whole time so far, grrrrr!!!!!!!

Kailey's mom is offline  
#11 of 19 Old 07-30-2009, 02:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
TwinGirlsMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow! I didn't realize there were so many little anxiety sufferers out there!

Thank you for all the support and information.

We'll see where this goes...

Julie, mom to my beautiful twin girls twins.gif

TwinGirlsMama is offline  
#12 of 19 Old 07-30-2009, 02:19 PM
 
didelphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: BFE Louisiana
Posts: 768
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm right there with you. Right now I'm trying to figure out if I'm mostly dealing with OCD, SID, and/or anxiety and which one is worse in my 8 yo! I just got a referral to a child psych. I guess I'll start with that and go from there. (Is the psych the one who usually recommends the therapist?)
You're not alone!

Laura
Mom to three
didelphus is offline  
#13 of 19 Old 07-31-2009, 11:12 AM
 
NightOwlwithowlet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 337
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
We've been through several diagnosis with our son (PDD, ADHD, SPD, speech delay) and after a lot of trial and error and tons of reading, we think it's anxiety fueled by SPD. OT has helped, but so has removing the stressors until we can get it under control. We started homeschooling in June and DS's anxiety has dropped by 90%. We are still looking for a good therapsit.
NightOwlwithowlet is offline  
#14 of 19 Old 08-04-2009, 10:05 AM
 
almama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In a mess
Posts: 955
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think that anxiety, leading to depression, is my son's main issue. Everything seems to stem from that. We've tried lots of things and some have met with success, but when things are challenging for him he forgets a lot.

We've tried food elimination (testing, gluten, eggs), gaba, fish oil, anything. He see a therapist intermittently, but because he can hold it together in many situations, no one is super concerned. We get it full blast at home though. It is horrible to see him in such a state and to have the impact on all of us.

Looking forward to other responses.
almama is offline  
#15 of 19 Old 08-04-2009, 03:36 PM
Fay
 
Fay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Venus
Posts: 1,714
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love the book "Your Anxious Child" by Dacey and Fiore. They explain various types and causes of childhood anxiety, and have a 4 step plan to work through the anxiety.

My DS1's anxiety is related to autism. He used to have frequent panic attacks, but is doing well now. We tried dietary approaches without much success (but Vit. B-12 & magnesium seem to help a little). Play therapy has been most helpful for him. I recommend Lawrence Cohen's "Playful Parenting" to learn play strategies to work through emotions. Sensory play can be very calming, too...sandbox, shaving cream, even a box of bird seed works wonders. Chanting or praying is another instant calmer...when his panic attacks were at their peak, DS1 asked me to take him to church almost every day, which brought peace to us both. I later learned that music & chanting is processed in the brain stem, which stops the adrenaline rush that accompanies panic.

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
Fay is offline  
#16 of 19 Old 08-04-2009, 07:30 PM
 
megincl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 2,124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Another mama with an anxious little one over here (6yo DS). Can someone tell me what gaba is? I'd really like to try the supplement route...


thanks!

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
megincl is offline  
#17 of 19 Old 08-04-2009, 07:37 PM
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Facebook
Posts: 6,302
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by megincl View Post
Another mama with an anxious little one over here (6yo DS). Can someone tell me what gaba is? I'd really like to try the supplement route...
!
gamma-aminobutyric acid

My older son takes 3 250mg capsules/ day. We started low and worked up to that, under the direction of a developmental pediatrician. Hope that helps!
lotusdebi is offline  
#18 of 19 Old 08-13-2009, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
TwinGirlsMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn NY
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Interestingly, when DD's school did all their testing, the school occupational therapist did not recommend OT. I thought that was kind of strange, especially since my daughter is sensitive to loud sounds, snuggling, and a couple other things.

Anyway, I ordered the books recommended in post #2 & am eagerly awaiting their arrival.

Thanks to everyone who has posted!

Julie, mom to my beautiful twin girls twins.gif

TwinGirlsMama is offline  
#19 of 19 Old 08-13-2009, 07:34 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,447
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinGirlsMama View Post
Interestingly, when DD's school did all their testing, the school occupational therapist did not recommend OT. I thought that was kind of strange, especially since my daughter is sensitive to loud sounds, snuggling, and a couple other things.
School OTs tend to focus on fine motor things, not sensory issues, because the fine motor issues affect writing and school work. Sensory issues are an 'unknown' among them. You really need an OT who specializes on sensory related stuff to work with that.

Two other books to look for:
The Highly Sensitive Child
Sensational Kids (or The Out of Sync Child) - I like Sensational Kids because it's got more practical advice for sensory things to do to help calm a child.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 15,268

33 members and 15,235 guests
Chelsea59 , Childrenareawesome , debigebi , Deborah , Dovenoir , girlspn , greenemami , hillymum , JElaineB , Jessica765 , joandsarah77 , katelove , Katherine73 , lhargrave89 , lisak1234 , manyhatsmom , Michele123 , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , NaturallyKait , pgu2017 , pokeyac , RollerCoasterMama , Skippy918 , Springshowers , transylvania_mom , zebra15
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.